Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except for my cat.

Part 1

I'm crying… Again. I don't know why, but it seems as if I've been doing that a lot lately. Nearly every night, alone, in my bed. And I can't sleep… It's just that every time I try to, I panic, thinking I'll never wake up again. And the lack of sleep is already showing. Two days ago Ken asked me if I was okay. "Of course" , I answered. I don't think he believed me. He's been eyeing me strangely since then. Well, after all he's the closest friend I have, and he's not an idiot. He's worried, I guess.

I'm still crying… Shit. There's no reason to! Or probably there is one, I mean, I'm not doing this just for fun… It's just that I can't figure it out.

Don't think I haven't tried, I really did! It's not about me being a former assassin. For I have been one for some time, and it has never bothered me that much. After all I knew what I, what we were fighting for. And Weiß doesn't even exist anymore. It's not about me finding out about my past either. All of that has already been solved, and I have successfully moved on with my life.

Until now, that is…

It all started two weeks ago, I think. But maybe it began even earlier without me noticing it. I don't really care…

It's bothering me that I can't figure out what made me fall into this state. I mean, everything is fine! I'm studying now, I have saved enough money to live comfortably without having to work for the rest of my life (although I will work, eventually, otherwise life would just be to boring), really good friendships have formed between the former members of Weiß, I'm leading a completely normal life!

That's why it's so confusing… I'm getting panic attacks, I cry, I just haven't any control over my feelings anymore. Hell, I don't even KNOW what I'm feeling!

I guess now it's really time for some sleeping pills, or I won't get any sleep at all…

The next morning Omi lay in bed. Well, it wasn't really morning anymore… It was nearly 2pm.

Omi had already woken up at about 9am, after the sleeping pills had lost their power, but he didn't have the strength to stand up. He just lay there in bed, until now, all the time repeating to himself that he had to get up, that he had to go to university. Despite that he just couldn't. And by now, he didn't even care anymore.

Somehow all of his power had faded away, and he couldn't even move. He heard the telephone ring, but he didn't even try to answer it. He wasn't even annoyed because of the constant ringing. He didn't feel anything anymore…

Ken was worried. Extremely worried, to be exact. Omi had been supposed to meet him at the café next to the university today, but he hadn't shown up and one of his friends, who recognized Ken, told him that he hadn't been at school today.

This just had added to the worries that have already been forming in the young man's mind. He knew that something wasn't right with Omi. He had looked so tired and… exhausted… lately.

'I guess it's time for a visit!'

And with that he got on his bike and drove off.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Author's notes:

Don't ask me where this is going, for I don't know more than you… Well alright, maybe a little more, but so far this is the only part I've written, and I have only REALLY vague ideas about how I'm going to continue this.

I don't have to tell ya that comments are appreciated, do I?