« Love is real, real is
love »
She passed through Children's Gate and
turned on right. See you in Stratford-Upon-Avon, he had told her just
before leaving that morning. His sentence wouldn't have made sense
for most of us. Why was he talking about England while they were in
New York ? But she perfectly knew what it meant. And where.
She
took by the 65th transverse and looked up. The sky was white, heavy.
The wind icy. She tightened her coat around her body and kept
walking. Some couples were strolling, hand in hand, defying the cold
weather. She smiled crossing them. You could do anything when you
were in love. You felt always warm and safe. There wasn't seasons
apart from the ones of your heart.
She was about to turn on right
and take the small path when some children came up from behind the
trees, running and laughing while their parents were a few steps
away, talking. She stopped for a while and looked at them. Central
Park was a magic place when the winter was coming. There was
something, a kind of unique atmosphere. Innocent and rare. Friendly
like a fireplace, warm.
And she loved it.
She finally
took the path and saw them next to the statue of Shakespeare. There
was thousands of paths here but The Literary Walk was their favorite
one. Because it meant so much for them. For their story. She smiled
while coming closer but stopped suddenly when she felt something on
her. The first snowflakes. She looked at him and laughed till he put
down the toddler on the ground who started walking towards her.
She
froze, astonished. His first steps. She stared at the baby and the
man who was holding the little hands, behind him. Leant over, just in
case. She squatted down, moved, and spread her arms when her son
arrived till her. She took him and stood up, kissing his head proudly
through the layers of clothes he was wearing. She looked at him,
confused. He shrugged.
It had to happen, Karen.
She made a face and sighed, planting another kiss on the baby's cheek.
I suppose so…
She leant her head,
kissed him gently and took his hand.
Let's go for lunch, Will.
She went away, her son in her arms, Will's hand on her shoulders.
You always felt safe and warm when you were in love, always.
« Love is feeling, feeling is love
»
She would have never admited it but she loved that
place. The smell, the colors, the noise of the fabrics passing
through her hands, the silence when Grace was working, the furniture.
Even if she used to come whenever she wanted, she knew she couldn't
have lived without it. This world belonged to anyone but her and it
kept her away from another reality she didn't like that much
actually.
She always went there thinking about that moment. The
one he would appear and brushed her desk. Moving her heart. Every
day. As soon as she heard his steps on the stairs or the elevators
going down. She just closed her eyes for a second and tried to enjoy
that heat, spreading out its power in her whole body. Making her
heart beat quickly. Her face smile. And her throat thighten.
She
used to take a deep breath and bite her lips to prevent from crying.
Because it was all vain anyway. And stupid. She always put her lips
against the cold glass she was holding so that to remember he would
never be hers. The contact with the material was sharp on her soul,
the alcohol warm for her dreams. Reassuring.
It was getting worse
while time passing. Day after day, year after year. Her feelings were
killing her little by little, they didn't seem to want to go away
and let her alone. At last. As she was wishing for. As she was
dreading it could happen one day.
A simple smile, a word, a
look. And she was him. Lost, hurt, lonely. She didn't show her
emotions, she couldn't. But how she loved being with him. And
feeling alive, thanks to him. Till the fatal moment arrived when the
coldness of her life caught her up. When the doors of her house got
closed behind her heart. Destroying her feelings and breaking down
her smiles. She used to let her imagination go on while laying down
on her bed between the icy sheets, turning the lights off. Huddling
up to escape from the oppressive silence. And the loneliness.
«
Love is wanting to be loved »
« Love
is touch, touch is love »
The evening was boring.
The dinner endless. All these businessmen talking about their work
and how great it was to crush small firms. In order to get more
money. For their selfish pleasures and leisures. She hated them. She
just wanted to shut their billionaire and coldheart mouths once and
for all. She perfectly knew how to make them feel bad, and weak. All
their secrets they thought to be safe. A word would be enough.
But
she couldn't because she belonged to their club. Through force of
circumstance, yes, perhaps, but she had to deal with Stanley's
legacy. It may be all over and her third husband dead, she had that
feeling Walker Inc. had to go on, thanks to her. And so she did. That
dinner was just another of her obligations, but how she hated it.
She
used to stay quiet in front of them, just answering to the few
questions some bold men dared to ask her. And they weren't many. Oh
she could have taken part in the discussion, she knew what they were
talking about, how that world worked. She wasn't a bad
businesswoman, they all knew it. Heading one of the most important
firms of the country was such a hard job. And it looked like she did
it to perfection. But nobody obligated Karen Walker to do something
when she didn't want to.
And so she was there, eating and
drinking in silence, observing their disgusting gestures. Their
scandalous statements. And it was all so boring. Unbearable.
She suddenly felt his hand on hers. Caressing her soft skin. Peacefully. As if he could guess in what state she was. Reading her feelings deep inside her soul. They didn't need to speak nor look at each other. It was all implicit. Logical. Rare. She shivered a bit during the first seconds then got relaxed. Letting his warmness rock her whole body in turmoil. She sat in a more comfortable way on her chair and thightened his hand. Smiling while still looking right in front of her at the reason of her anger.
She calmed down. He would always be there, next to her. Always.
« Love is
reaching, reaching is love » I know, I know.
Karen I'm not
saying that to bother you…
She
sighed and rolled her eyes. She should be enjoying her lunchtime.
After all she was with him. She could look at him without sounding
strange or mad. He was so close she could feel his breath on her
neck. That drove her crazy. But she didn't know why, he was always
the best one to spoil the spell. Their moment. With his stupid
statements about her life and his annoying advices. She didn't want
to be with her lawyer now.
Just with him.
She took another
sip of her coffee and looked away. Children were playing soccer near
to the statue of Walt Whitman. People were walking peacefully under
the soft shadows of the elms in full blossom. Enjoying the sunny
weekday. Central Park was so beautiful at that moment of the year.
She loved it. Actually she just loved that place, at any time, any
season. She didn't come often but used to contemplate it from her
house. Through the window. It had that particular shade that made the
least detail romantic.
She looked at Will sat next to her on a
bench. His eyes were blank. His mind lost in his thoughts. Her heart
started beating quicker and she felt her face blushing. She took
another sip of coffee.
And when I wake up I will be yours.
Forever.
He came back to reality and looked at her,
frowning.
What ?
She pointed out the statue next to them.
Shakespeare. And when I wake up I will be
yours. Forever. Because time hasn't a hold over love. A
Midsummer Night Dream ?
She laughed shyly and
shrugged.
It's my favorite one.
Because it's
so true, she added in silence. Looking at him. Her smile disappeared
slowly while her eyes plunged in his. Bitterly. He was so close, so
far. Her own night dream. Just a dream. And so she decided to tell
him the truth. About her feelings. There, now. In silence because she
wasn't brave enough and didn't want to be hurt.
She confessed
her doubts, her despair, her joy when she was with him. Her love.
All. Just staring at him. And her wishes, the ones that were burning
her heart for not being. It seemt time had stopped, suddenly. All the
noises around them flying away. And they were alone. On that bench.
As if a hurricane had destroyed everything apart from them. As if
their love had been stronger and could survive the storm.
As if
Shakespeare were looking after them when her lips met the softness of
his and they shared their first kiss.
« Love is asking
to be loved »
« Love is you
You
and me »
The warm of the sun woke her up. She slowly
opened her eyes and stayed still. Looking at the ocean in front of
her. The waves coming and going in time on the sand. Murmuring a
peaceful song to her soul. She turned back and found an empty bed.
The pillow still holding the print of a late presence however. She
brushed it softly with her fingertips and got up. She shivered a
little when she felt the sea breeze on her skin.
She put on a
sweater and left the bedroom. The house seemt to be plunged in
silence. Resting. The sun blinded her when she came to the living,
its beams passing through the french windows. She saw his figure, on
the porch. She went towards him, feeling the warm wood of the floor
under her feet, the sand sliding along her skin. She sat behind him
and wrapped her arms around his chest, her legs against his waist,
leaning her chin on his shoulder.
Good morning.
She
kissed his neck and looked at the two children playing a few steps
away on the beach. He responded holding thight her arms and caressing
her fingers as he used to do. His eyes still stared at the girl and
the boy building a sand castle. He was eight now and she was about to
celebrate her sixth birthday. Already.
She had had no time to see
them growing up. As if it was still yesterday she had given birth to
them. And touched their little hands for the first time, realizing
how she loved them and they made her proud. As she had never been
before. She sighed, happy. As if it was yesterday she had become a
mother. A cold material sliding between her fingers made her back to
reality. She frowned and froze, astonished.
She would have sworn
her heart had stopped beating when the ring brushed her shaking
finger and he closed his hand on hers, whispering while still looking
at their children.
Marry me.
Her tears when he turned to face her and she held his face between her hands. Kissing him lovingly. She leant her forehead against his and they began to laugh quietly, knowingly.
Mum ! Dad ! Look at our castle !
They turned and looked at their son and daughter,
standing up proudly next to their construction. They smiled at them
and stood up. Going till their children.
Hand in hand, his
fingers caressing hers through the engagement ring.
«
Love is knowing
We can be »
They were enjoying
the last minutes of their weekend. Together. At his place, sat on the
couch. She started feeling this bitterness she had been carrying on
her heart for three weeks now. The most beautiful ones of her life
because she was with him. At last. But the most difficult too.
Because noboby knew. For them.
They hadn't talking about it
yet. It was still this phase where they were discovering the whole
things. Their feelings. But she knew something had changed during
that weekend. They had made a step forward. In their relation. A step
she loved, as he did so. But now they were about to move backwards.
As soon as the door would open and Grace and Jack would be back. She
didn't want that.
She took a deep breath and moved away from
his arms. Just a little. She frowned and bit her lower lip.
Will…
She caressed his cheek and plunged her eyes in his.
I know it's not really the right time to speak about it. Grace and Jack will be here within a second but… I can't hold any longer. I'm sorry I can't.
She felt his hand getting cold on hers.
I don't want that anymore. I don't want to pretend, to find an excuse to see you. To hide my feelings. I can't bear the situation. I want to be able to hold your hand whenever I feel like to. I want people know and see us on the street. At your office. Anywhere. I want they know the truth. I want they see how happy I am when i'm with you. I want they know how I love you.
She
froze suddenly, realizing what she had just said. She couldn't move
and stayed still, looking at him, confused. As much as him,
apparently. That was pretty unexpected. Even from her, she hadn't
planned saying that. The door opened suddenly and they stood up
automatically.
They went to hug their friends, as if nothing had
happened. But still confused and uncomfortable when their eyes met by
accident. She went to the kitchen while Grace and Jack began to speak
to an overwhelmed Will.
Karen ?
She turned and looked at Will.
Please take the sugar meanwhile, I…
Forgot it.
She nodded, took it and came back to the
living, putting it down on the table.
Thank you, Kare.
She looked down and shrugged, whispering.
You're welcome, Will.
As she was about to sit down, she felt a hand on hers and turned. She had no time to realize what was happening till he held her neck and kissed her. His unexpected movment freezing the warm comeback discussion from Jack and Grace. She moved apart and looked at him. He gave her a smile. As she did, so.
What…
They turned and faced their astonished friends. He took her hand in his and started speaking.
« Love is free, free is love
»
The room plunged in the darkness. Suddenly. Making
everyone stop talking right away. A micro crackled a bit and a voice
called her. She stood up, a spotlight following her till the centre.
All the looks turned towards her. She felt a bit apprehensive, her
heart beginning to beat quickly. They were all expecting, she knew
it.
They wouldn't have missed the event for nothing on earth.
She had heard the rumors too. About her. It was a world of
hypocritical people. Merciless. The least mistake and you were dead.
You had to be brave to stay there. Or just crazy, she wasn't sure.
But she didn't feel like giving it up either. In spite of all.
She
passed her fingers on her red satin dress. Nervously. The diamonds on
her neck sparkling when the light fell on them. The anxiety made her
complexion even more pale than usually. She looked like so weak,
suddenly. Her, the famous Karen Walker. The woman who never dreaded
anyone. Nor anything. The coldhearted billionaire every guest hated
there. And admirated, secretely.
She looked lost in the middle of
the room, lonely under the spotlight. A doll about to break down. She
took a deep breath when she felt his hand tightening hers. The simple
contact of his fingers against her skin warmed up her whole body. She
smiled and faced him.
Doesn't that sound deja-vu ?
She laughed quietly while they started to dance. She leant her head on his shoulder and let him and the music rock her. Forgetting all the eyes looking at her, angrily. With envy. She shivered when his hand caressed her lower back and he put her closer to him. She closed her eyes and whispered.
Perhaps, yes…
She moved
her head away and plunged her eyes in his. Lovingly.
But this time I'm not pretending.
He made a face, jokingly.
I hope so.
He made her turn and planted on her lips a gentle kiss.
Happy Valentine's Day,
Karen.
She smiled at him.
« Love is
living, living is love »
She needed to rest a lot,
lately. She was really tired. Hugo was still very young but he seemt
to understand his mother wasn't as he used to see her. There was
something special. Coming, little by little. She was reading a novel,
laid down on the bed. Enjoying the silence all around her. Her son
must be having a nap and Will…
She dropped out the book, bit
her lower lip and closed her eyes. She breathed calmly and waited.
Her hand on her stomach. Was it… She had no time to end up her self
question and felt another contraction. A bit more painful than the
first one. She made a face and passed her hand on her forehead. Okay,
let's go. She started to sit down when a third one passed through
her body, making her spine shiver under the pain.
Will ?
She leaned her head backwards, trying to ignore her tense stomach. She opened her eyes and looked at the door. Nobody. She started to panic.
Oh don't tell me he's gone. Not
now… Will !
This time she shouted his name so loud she heard her son wake up too. And he appeared, at last. Holding in his arms an half asleep two year old boy.
What's happening, Kare ?
She looked at them on the backdoor, they looked confused. Another contraction made her bent over. She heard her son asking anxiously.
Mummy ?
She only felt relieved when the first cries came out and they put on her chest their newborn daughter. So warm and all shaking, going up and down on her as she was still breathless.
Hi you…
She
gently caressed the small cheek, as calmly as she could in spite of
all the efforts she had had to do a few seconds earlier. She let the
midwife take care of the baby and looked at him, smiling.
She was
sat on her bed, Grace holding Hugo in her arms. Jack playing
nervously with the teddy bear he had just bought, Will leant against
the wall, caressing her fingers with his. There was electricity in
the air, they were all impatient while waiting desperately. She
wondered what her son was thinking, if he realized what was
happening. Someone knocked on the door and the nurse came in with the
baby.
She took her daughter in her arms and looked at them. Jack,
Grace, Hugo, Will. And Lou. A wave of warmness went straight to her
heart. She felt safe. And happy, as she had never been before. She
was with the most important people of her life. The only ones she
wanted to be with. Without whom she would never had gone on. They had
always been there for her. Bringing her what her soul was asking for.
She smiled at them and took his hand. His fingers caressing hers,
softly.
« Love is needing to be loved »
