Chapter One - Dance to Forget
Hey guys! It's your friendly neighborhood Dagger, bringing you another Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction. Yes, yes, I can hear you all saying: But Dagger, you have two other stories on here! What about updating one of them? And to that I say: But now I'll have three stories to update.
Actually, I got this idea while considering different ideas for why different people could have gotten different Miraculous, and the chaos that could have ensued because of that. I couldn't figure out any way I could justify any of it though, and as I continued to speculate with the idea while continuing to show the series to my younger siblings, we reached the Origins episode. The fact that Marinette had tried to give up the Miraculous to Alya was something that I had completely forgotten, which of course gave me just the chance I was looking for. It was the perfect board to spring this idea off of, and I'm going to take that opportunity and run with it. I am so excited to experiment with this!
Anyways, that's enough out of me. I just have one more thing to say, and then we can move past my rambling and actually get to the story (or you can skip this and just read, if you really want to and are that impatient, or already have read one of my stories and know how I operate). I write in the first person, which doesn't seem super common on here. I will make sure to show whose perspective we are seeing everything from each chapter, as well as try to show which identity they are in. I promise it isn't very confusing, and I will try to limit the amount of perspective changes I have, although no guarantees.
Marinette's Point of View
I jump backwards as I let out a yelp, leaping about on my left foot in pain as I hold my right foot in my hands. This is the fourth time I have stubbed my stupid big toe while trying to learn how to dance, and that's just counting that toe on my right foot. After a moment, I gingerly set my foot down, and groan as I admit defeat by flopping down on my bed. I shove my face into my pillow and begin to blindly reach around on my bed for my phone, which is still playing the music that I was attempting to dance to previously. Eventually, after a few minutes of struggling to try and locate it without looking, I manage to grab my phone and find the pause button.
Now that that's settled, I let out a dejected sigh as I roll over onto my back. Staring up at the ceiling is boring, but it gives me the chance to reflect on why I was even trying to dance. Supposedly if I spend my time attempting to learn a new skill, it will help distract me from my negative emotions, or so the internet tells me. However, doing so now does not seem to be helping at all. No, instead I just seem to be winding up hurt over and over, again and again. I'm just far too clumsy for this particular skill.
To be fair, I could have tried to learn something other than dancing, but it was the only thing I could think of trying that I could learn for free through the internet. And do without having to get my parents involved. But now that I'm looking back on things, maybe it would just be better for me to bury myself in my designing. On top of that, I could try to study more and help out around the bakery to fill up my time. That would certainly help to boost my practically non-existent baking skills, and might be easier while not being suspicious to my parents. After all, it's not like I've never shown interest before in learning how to make the more complicated, delicious treats we serve.
Oh, who am I kidding? I cover my face in my hands, sure that my face must be red. I've already begun to try all of those things to no avail. From the way it was looking now, I would just have to face a depressing thought: I'm feeling guilty.
No, scratch that. Guilty is putting it far too mildly for how I'm feeling right now. I'm ashamed at my behavior, and the fact that I backed down from a challenge. I'm regretful that out of all of the different opportunities that I have had in my life, I turned down the one that would have changed my life for the better, along with everyone else's. I can't believe how cowardly my behavior was and how much of a failure I was. I feel like such a disgrace, as if I have done something incredibly selfish, even though my motives were the exact opposite at that time.
"It's for the best." I whisper as I move my hands away, staring up at my ceiling once again. But is it really? I was so sure of that statement at the time, but now I don't believe it at all. Yet now it's far too late to try and change anything, even if I definitely wanted to.
Stoneheart was a disaster. Embarrassment, even hotter than before, floods over me as I turn to lay on my side. I don't want to remember just how much of a catastrophe things were. How much of a catastrophe I was. However, I need to walk myself through all of this again. I couldn't even remember to do something as simple as capturing and de-evilising a single little, stupid butterfly. I let the akuma get away, and because of me, Paris - all of the people I love - were unnecessarily out in danger a second time. I failed to do my duty as Ladybug, a duty that I had only just received that day. How it's possible for me to have messed something up that quickly, I have no idea, but I managed to do it. A typical, clumsy Marinette move.
That made what should have been painfully obvious from the start clear to me. I was not fit to have citizens' lives resting on my shoulders. I could not risk the possibility that I would fail them again.
And I had known someone who I was certain would not make the same mistake as me. They were an obvious choice, so obvious that I can't believe Tikki or whoever decides who gets a Miraculous didn't choose them themselves. The new girl that Chloe forced me to sit by, Alya. I could see that she was already ready to protect those around her, even those she barely knew. She was so confident and self-assured, filled with a fire that I could never hope to match. That was the type of passion that a hero of Paris would need, not the fear that caused me to shake at the very idea of transforming again.
It'd been simple to slip the box into her bag as we walked into school together. Simple to make sure there was a typed note along with it to explain everything that I could think of that she would need to know. Simple to make sure she left to go see Stoneheart get beaten with her bag. Simple to watch from the sidelines as the Ladybug found her gift while searching for her phone and flew into action like the natural I knew she would be. It was so simple to not do anything and just give up. Even then it had felt wrong, but I'd been able to ignore it. I was not cut out to be a hero.
Even now the thoughts makes me sick. The fact that I even considered giving up the Ladybug Miraculous, topped with the fact that I actually did, should prove to me that I have no business trying to be a heroine. So why do I get sick to the stomach with guilt every day as I think about what might have been? Why do I dream every night about being Ladybug, with that silky kitty that I barely even knew cracking horrible puns as we leap across the rooftops of Paris, fighting some sort of akuma as a team?
Perhaps I'm just drawn to the idea of saving people. Maybe I just have a selfish, hero complex. Or, maybe it was the fact that sometimes at school, I could swear I felt Tikki's eyes on me from within Alya's bag, burning the word 'guilty' into my back.
It's not like I even have a legitimate reason to regret my decision either. It's not like Alya is failing at her job. Quite the opposite actually. Alya is doing splendidly as Ladybug, with Chat Noir seeming to almost be struggling in his attempts to keep up. She steals the show and is constantly in the spotlight, treating the black cat superhero as more of a sidekick than a partner. At times I pity him, perhaps even regretting what could have been with our own partnership, but he doesn't seem to mind. Although he does seem different from whenever we were partners. He no longer spouts ridiculous puns while battling, and it seems like he treats saving the city as more of a chore than a special duty bestowed only to those who deserved it, excluding the mistake of giving it to me. I swear there are times that if you pay close attention, Chat actually looks unhappy as he continues to save our city again and again. But that's just silly. I'm just searching for some reason that will let me feel justified in my wishes to do it all again and keep the Ladybug Miraculous. To rip the earrings right off Alya's ears. I just need to accept that what's done is done. Besides, I obviously didn't and still don't deserve them, but Alya has proven that she does time and time again. The whole thing is as simple as that, and I just need to move on with my life before everyone moves on without me.
"Marinette, are you coming?" My mother's voice draws me out of my thoughts as I push myself into a sitting position with a loud groan. I have to resist calling down to her with some sort of sour response. Why can't I beat myself up for being selfish in peace? "You'll be late for school if you don't hurry!"
"Oh, crap. School!" I cry, leaping off the bed and onto my feet. As I lunge forward to grab my shoes, I trip over the air and fall flat on my face. Giving a moan of pain and rubbing my now sore face with one, I try to shove one of my shoes on with the other. Giving up and using two hands again, I shout down to my mother, "I'm coming down now, mama!"
With the first shoe only halfway in, I move onto the other and begin to hop on one foot towards my stairs. Once that one is jammed on, I begin to descend the stairs, doing my best to fix the first one while not tripping in the process. There are a few close calls, but I finally find myself firmly planted at the bottom of the stairs and manage to finish fixing the original one. Who knew shoes could be so much work?
"Come on, Marinette!" My father calls this time, and I turn the corner to make my way into the actual bakery portion of our home.
"Sorry, papa." I apologize the moment I see him, grabbing my two bags from on the counter and sliding the one onto my back and the other around my shoulder. Then I get on tiptoes and kiss his cheek, offering him a small smile in return for his big one. When I turn around, my mom is there, holding a tray of croissants that are probably to be sold. "Love you, mama!" I snag one off the tray and follow it with a kiss on her cheek before making my way for the door. "Bye!"
I delicately place the croissant in my mouth in order to have access to both of my hands, allowing myself to push the door open and stumble out in a hurry. From behind me, my mother calls, "Have a great day at school!"
My father follows that with, "We love you! Goodbye!"
I give a backhanded wave before letting the door slam shut behind me. Once that's taken care of, I remove the croissant - which was thankfully not too hot - from my mouth, take a small bite, and then run in the direction of my school. At this rate, I was going to be late, and without a real friend group to call my own, there would no one to attempt to cover for me. If Alya weren't so tired and closed off to my attempts to try and get any closer to her, I would rely on her, especially because she seems like she would be an epic friend to have. Sadly, she seems quite intent on keeping me - and everyone else - at arms length. That effectively rules her out. Adrien doesn't even know I exist - or if he does, then we're not anywhere near as close as I would like to be - so I doubt I can count on him, even with how nice he is. This train continues around our class till I'm sure that I have ruled out every single one of my options.
Stopping at a red light at a crosswalk, I take another bite of croissant as a thought suddenly strikes me. Nino! We've been in the same class for ages, and he's always been so nice. In fact, I feel really bad for not thinking of him earlier, since I consider him to be my closest friend. That, of course, doesn't really mean all that much since we aren't even that close - we barely qualify as friends - and I doubt he thought anything nearly as high of me. It also doesn't help that he is pretty much my only friend, so he would have to be the closest for me, while he seems to have plenty of friends. Despite all of this, I'm almost positive that Nino will at least notice I'm missing and assume I'm following my usual trend of accidentally getting to school late. I'll just have to hope he knows of a way to cover for me.
The light turns green, and I begin to scramble on my way again, taking a bit of croissant as I do. This rush causes me to smash right into someone, and as I wave my hands to catch my balance, my croissant goes flying into the road. That, however, is the least of my concern, as I can feel myself losing my balance and falling backwards.
A hand grabs onto mine, stopping my fall and pulling me to my feet. I look up, a little hurt by the sudden jerk, but relieved nonetheless. It's even more nice - although a bit more embarrassing - to see that I've bumped into a friend: Théo Barbot. He has started stopping by the bakery more and more often, and I think my mother adores him. Sometimes I serve him if I'm helping out, and he's always been quite polite and attentive as we've chatted. He makes for pleasant conversation and a distraction, especially seeing as I have no on else to talk to.
Théo raises his eyebrow at me, and his brown eyes sparkle with amusement. "You seem to be in quite the rush today, Marinette." He comments, chuckling under his breath as I carefully pull my hand out of his and brush myself off.
"Yes, sorry about that." I say, sure that my cheeks are bright red. "I'm late to school again."
"Again?" He shakes his head, seeming even more amused, which in turn embarrasses me even more. "I'm sorry I've delayed you further. Here," He pulls a butterscotch lollipop from his pocket, holding it out towards me, "since I caused you to lose what I assume was your breakfast and have delayed you, have a lollipop."
I giggle and shake my head, but take it all the same. "Thanks, Theo!" After carefully unwrapping it, I pop it inside my mouth, and offer him a thumbs up.
He moves to pass me and keep going, but then stops again. "Oh, I almost forgot! Are you still coming after school today to model for that sculpture, and am I still good to meet you at the school to walk you there? I wouldn't want you having to walk around in a shadier part of town just to get to my studio."
"That'd be awesome if you met up with me to make sure I arrive safely. And you bet I'll be there." I say with a nod. "What kind of person would I be if I didn't make good on my word?"
"Ha, that's what I like about you, Marinette. You're so honest and kind." My face, which was finally starting to go back to normal, gets hot all over again. "I'll let you get on your way then! Sorry for making you later. See you after school!"
"See you!" I say, waving before rushing off once more.
I suppose at this point rushing is somewhat pointless, since I definitely won't be making it to class on time. Not that I blame Theo. It was my fault I ran into him, and besides, he was super kind and cheered me up a bit. However, that doesn't change the fact that I'm going to be late. However, the faster I get to school, the less of a punishment I'll receive. Determined to at least make it there on the earlier side of being late, I push myself harder. It helps that I can actually see my destination.
I reach the steps and rush up them to the front door, taking two at a time. Panting, I pause for a moment to catch my breath, and then run up the stairs. My class is thankfully right there, so I won't be too long. Maybe I can even manage to sneak inside and not call attention to myself. I open the door, confident that I can sneak in without disrupting the lesson, only to stumble.
Sadly, because I trip upon entering and let out a squeak, the lesson stops as all eyes are on me. I manage to land on my knees - although painful - and quickly get back to my feet, horribly embarrassed. My clumsiness seems to be getting worse and worse, if that's even possible.
"Miss Dupain-Cheng, so nice of you to join us." Miss Bustier says, looking torn between being disappointed, resigned to this being the norm, or amused.
I shift uncomfortably under everyone's gaze, and mumble, "I'm very sorry for that." Hopefully I sound apologetic, if I was intelligible at all.
She sighs. "Try to make it on time next time, Marinette. Or, if you're really intent on making this a habit, at least try to come in without drawing attention to yourself. Get to your seat please, and try not to cause any disruptions."
"Yes, Miss Bustier." I say, bobbing my head. I don't even care that I just got scolded in front of our entire class. She doesn't intend on punishing me, and I will definitely take that good luck.
However, Miss Bustier turns back to the class and opens her mouth to continue talking, my good luck runs south as someone speaks up. "Miss Bustier!"
Our teacher lets out a sigh, one that I wish I could mimic. "Yes, Chloe?"
Chloe. The blonde that always seems to have it in for me. I turn to look at her from where I stand beside my seat as she stands up, leaning forward over her desk as she does. From beside her, her crony Sabrina looks my way and smirks.
Can't I just have one, tiny bit of my day where I have a bit of good luck?
"Why is Marinette allowed to come into class late with no punishment?" My blonde enemy phrases and sounds innocent, but the look in her eyes is quite devious. "I mean, you punish the rest of us when we show up late. Why should Marinette receive any favoritism and be treated differently for the exact same thing?" Favoritism? Oh please. If anyone here gets favoritism, it's her, with her constant usage of her daddy to get things that she wants.
"Miss Bourgeois, I am the teacher here, not you." Miss Bustier responds, and I think she looks quite exhausted at having to deal with this crap from the mayor's daughter. "Whether or not I punish Marinette is a decision for me to make. Understand?"
"Of course, of course." She responds, nodding her head, and I shut my eyes, waiting to hear what she's going to follow that statement with. "I'll make sure to let my daddy know that you aren't doing your job properly."
I almost expected her to play a card like that, so I suppose it shouldn't be too much of a surprise. Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes and wait for the inevitable consequence that Chloe has pushed on me. A part of me wonders if Chloe would still do this if Alya hadn't fought to get my seat - which then became our seats - back from here, but the answer to that is most definitely yes. She desperately wants to see me crash and burn, and will stop at nothing to achieve that vision. What she doesn't realize is that she doesn't have to do a lot to see that happen, if anything. I seem to be doing that to myself on my own.
"Marinette, I expect you to be here after school for detention." Our teacher finally states, but I freeze, recalling my promise to Theo.
"Wait, Miss Bustier, please," I say, beginning to panic, "I promised to help someone out after school today."
She pauses for a moment as if to consider it, and then nods. "I have to be somewhere after school as well. How about you serve that detention after school tomorrow?"
I let out a sigh of relief, bobbing my head. "That sounds great. Thank you." Of course, it would be even better if I had no detention, but I doubt Chloe would allow that to happen.
As I sit down, our wonderful teacher turns her attention to Chloe, and asks with a raised eyebrow, "Was that punishment enough for you, Miss Bourgeois?"
"I guess." Chloe says after a moment, seeming to realize that that is the best she will get, and then sits down.
I almost start laughing at the pout Chloe has on her face as she crosses her arms to glare at me, but I don't. That would probably get me in trouble at this point in the game. Instead, I look to glance at my seatmate, hoping she will share my amusement at Chloe's reaction to not getting exactly what she wanted or frustration at Chloe getting me in trouble. Instead, I see that Alya has her head down on the desk, and unless I'm mistaken, she's sleeping. As I nudge her to wake her up, I feel eyes boring into me from her bag once again. However, as painful as it is, I ignore them. I already thought about how much I wish I still had the earrings and the fact that I don't deserve them today. I don't need a certain blue-eyed kwami to remind me of all of that.
"Huh? What did I miss?" Alya mumbles, sitting up and adjusting her glasses. She seems more and more exhausted recently, I wish I could help out somehow.
"Shh." I whisper. "Not much. Just me arriving late and Chloe landing me a detention for tomorrow. Are you okay? You really need to be getting more sleep. This is the fifth time this week that I've woken you up, and it's only Tuesday."
Alya shakes her head stubbornly as she stands up, tense and closed off. "I don't."
I don't try to argue my point any further. If she won't hear it, she won't hear it. Besides, she knows what she's doing. That's why I picked her as Ladybug over me. Alya always has it together. I never do. She's a great Ladybug, and I know she can handle that as well as a secret identity. I just need to let her manage herself. I wouldn't want someone to keep getting involved in my business while trying to tell me how to live my life. I'm sure Alya is no different, and this is no way to get closer to making friends with her either.
As I gather up all my stuff for the day after our final class, I have to stifle a yawn. Besides my arrival at school, everything was quite boring, and there's loads of homework with no one to complain about it too. Thankfully, not all of it is due tomorrow, but most of it is, and the stuff that isn't is generally a larger project. That's always a nuisance. However, I always manage to do it, so this time will be no different.
I can't even imagine trying to be Ladybug on top of all of my schoolwork. So not having to balance that on top of my academic success is a blessing, right? That's what my brain tries to say anyways, but I don't think it's doing very much to convince me of that.
Standing up, I make my way out, trying not to pay attention to the fact that everyone else has at least one other person to talk to. If I don't acknowledge the fact, then it can't bother me. That's how those sort of things always work, right? I'm not sure, but I'm hoping that's the case. Then again, I was also hoping maybe I could convince Alya to walk out of school with me and maybe even stop by my place today, but that went terribly, so that does not bode well for my hope of not letting having no one affect me.
As I make my way down the stairs, I focus on my feet to avoid seeing everyone else. However, this ends up going badly for me, because it's too effective. Once again, I find myself ramming right into someone and flying backwards. Thankfully, two hands grab me and pull me back up.
"Yo, Marinette," Nino says, looking me over in concern, "you okay?"
I open my mouth to respond, only to see who is holding onto my other hand. Concerned green eyes meet mine, and I have to keep from fainting or squealing. It's Adrien Agreste. I suppose that shouldn't be surprising. He and Nino are best buds, so obviously they would be walking together. But that means that Adrien is actually holding my hand. I glance at it out of the corner of my eye to confirm it, and yes, it's true. Adrien Agreste is holding my hand. I can't wait to tell...nobody. I have nobody to tell. How disappointing is that?
I carefully pull my hands away. "Ya! Ya, I am. Um, thanks for me catching! Er, um, thanks for catching me!"
"No problem." Adrien smiles at me, and I swear I would be okay if I died right here and right now.
"Hey, it doesn't look like you have anyone to hang with." Nino's observation isn't malicious, so even though I cringe upon hearing it pointed out verbally, I realize that it's to follow it up with something else. "Adrien and I are going to go get ice cream and work on some homework at my place. Wanna join us? Well, that is if my dude is okay with it."
He glances at Adrien, who nods enthusiastically. "Of course you can come along! Unless you don't want to."
I begin to nod my head, a huge smile taking my face, before it falls as I remember that I already have plans. "I can't. I promised to help someone out with this sculpture, otherwise I would definitely want to."
Nino smiles. "Hey, no problem, dude. That's cool. Maybe some other time?"
"Definitely." I say, smiling a little, but I have a sinking feeling that I won't get that opportunity offered to me a second time.
"So who are you going to be helping out, Marinette?" Adrien asks, and I look at him.
"Oh, his name is Theo. He's an aspiring artist who sometimes stops by my parents' bakery, and he loves my mom. No, wait!" My cheeks go bright red in embarrassment. "No, I meant my mom loves him. Oh gosh." I place my face in my hands as Nino and Adrien chuckle.
Before they can say anything else, someone interrupts. "Marinette?" Nino and Adrien step aside, and we all look as Theo strolls up, lollipop in hand.
"Hi, Theo." I say with a small wave. "Um, these are," I want to say friends, but I don't know if they agree with that, so I decide to go with something a bit more neutral, "classmates, Nino and Adrien."
"Nice to meet both of you." He says with a nod, before focusing his attention on me. "Ready to go?"
I give him a thumbs up. "For sure." I step up to stand beside him, before turning back and waving to the two boys. "Bye!"
Once we've walked a ways off from the school, Theo gently elbows me - which I'm not a complete fan of, however I let it go - and asks the question I probably should've assumed was coming. "Just classmates?"
I shrug. "I mean, Nino and I have been in the same class for ages, and is one of the only people I really am friends with, so I'd probably consider him to be my closest friend from school. But that's not saying a lot, since like I said, he's my only friend and doesn't consider me to be his closest."
"I'm sorry." Theo says, looking like he pities me. Then, he asks another question. "What about the other one?"
"Adrien?" I ask, and when he nods, I let out a dreamy sigh that was supposed to just be inward.
"I suppose that answers all of my questions there." He says with a chuckle, but if I didn't know better I would say he sounds slightly bitter.
I tilt my head in concern. "You all good, Theo?"
"Of course!" He says, waving my concerns away with his hands. "I had a great day, actually." There's something wrong with that statement, but I let it go. If Theo doesn't want to say anything, I can't and won't force him too. "So, did you get to read the new post on the Ladyblog today?" It's not the most flawless or smooth way to change the subject, but I'll roll with it.
"You read that?" I ask as we cross a rather empty street. He nods, and I laugh. "One of my classmates runs it. She's pretty proud of it." It must be hard to keep it normal and not give away who Ladybug is when the author is Ladybug, but I keep that tidbit to myself. She's done a splendid job of running that and doing her school work on top of being Ladybug. I envy that. "Anyways, no, I haven't read her newest post on there. What's it about?"
"Chat Noir. It didn't have a lot of information on him. If anything, it seemed more like a rant about how he does nothing for the team and that he needed to step up his game." He looks disturbed as he says it, as if the article really bothered him.
I stop in my tracks, upset. "Really?" I bite my lip to keep myself from completely raging on the subject, especially because I'm not sure what Alya's thoughts on the subject are. After all, I'm not her or Ladybug. Surely she has a good reason? Yet, at the same time, I can't help but pity Chat. Does he really deserve that? The Ladyblog obviously holds a lot of power over its readers. I hope that that doesn't take any support away from our cat hero clad in black. I suppose a part of me is incredibly protective of him, because he was supposed to be my partner when I was Ladybug. He did fine then. I mean, after all, it was my fault we failed. "But Chat Noir works so hard!"
Theo nods in agreement. "Yes, but apparently your friend who writes it disagrees." He pauses, tilting his head. "What are your thoughts on him?"
"Well, I'm sure you've already realized that I like him as a hero. I feel like he doesn't get enough credit or support." I pause, wondering if I'm going too far. "I mean, I don't know him personally, but I think he's a pretty cool cat. His puns are horrendous though."
We both laugh at that and continue on our way. After that it's just conversation exchanged back and forth, although Theo keeps seeming bothered by different, small things. I'm not sure what it's about, so I decide to chalk it off as me mistaking what he actually is feeling. I just need to get ready to pose and smile for this sculpture, or whatever he's going to need me to do. Then I can head home, do homework, and get ready for detention tomorrow. Not that the thought excites me, but if I focus on something, it seems to take my mind off of the negative emotions swirling in my stomach.
Adrien's Point of View
I stare at my ice cream cone, trying so hard to muster up the interest to eat it. However, my appetite is completely gone. Why did I have to go and think about how I failed my original Ladybug again? No matter what I do, that guilt hangs on me everywhere, and seems intent to destroy things even more so than my cataclysm. The stuff posted on the Ladyblog today didn't help either. It was completely trashing Chat Noir, and all of the comments were so negative.
It left me with the same question that keeps getting burned into my mind: Why do I keep dawning my mask and saving this city if no one appreciates it?
Thoughts constantly swirl in my head, asking those stupid, silly, "what if" questions. What if my original Ladybug stayed? What if I had tried harder to help her? What if I hadn't been so distracted by my freedom to see her struggle? What if, what if, what if. However, it's too late to change any of that. Instead, I have to deal with seeing another person as Ladybug. It would be worse if she wore the same costume as the first Ladybug.
"Yo, dude, are you even listening?" I flinch as a hand waves in front of my face, narrowly avoiding my ice cream as it does. That, however, does get my attention, and I focus in on the guy across the table from me. Nino adjusts his hat with the hand he just waved, frowning in concern.
"I'm sorry, Nino." I say guiltily, scratching the back of my neck. "What did you say?"
"I was saying that you've seemed really out of it recently." He's obviously concerned, but takes a moment to have another bit of his ice cream before continuing. So he can't be too concerned. "You're always exhausted, and you seem super sad and distracted. Is your dad overworking you or something?"
Thank goodness that's all he thinks it is. "Yup." It's lying, but I need to take that excuse since he handed it to me. Besides, it's not a complete lie. My dad does overwork me, that just currently isn't the biggest issue. "That and school have been a little overwhelming at the moment. But I'm fine."
Nino raises his eyebrows. "Okay, dude, if you say so." Thankfully, he drops the subject, and moves on to something else. "Oh, did you see Alya's latest post on the Ladyblog?"
I raise an eyebrow at him after taking a bite of the mint chocolate chip ice cream before me, more so that it doesn't go to waste than anything else. "No. What's it about?"
"Chat Noir." That catches my attention, although I try to outwardly stay rather neutral on the subject. "She was giving him a really tough time. All of this stuff about him not working hard enough, causing more trouble instead of helping, and other things."
"She must really have something against him." I respond, disappointed to hear even more trash about my superhero persona.
"It gets worse." He informs me, and I almost wish I could tell him to just leave it and not tell me more. "At least two thirds of the comments were in total agreement about the whole thing. Sometimes I wonder if that girl has too much power with what she says."
I lean back a little to look at the sky. "You'd think people would be a bit more thankful to have someone spend their time saving their city, you know?"
"Definitely. All this trash about him is not cool. I hope the poor guy doesn't take it to heart." Too bad he already has, Nino, but thanks for the sentiment.
"Hey, but on the topic of heroes, what do you think of Ladybug?" I ask, hoping that maybe someone will share some sort of dissatisfaction with her.
"I mean, she seems really intense at times, but I appreciate what she does for Paris." Nino says with a shrug. I knew it was too much to hope that he would dislike her. "She seems like she's really dedicated to her job, which she does really well. I mean, you have to admit that when you compare her and Chat Noir, it does seem like she does more work."
"But doesn't it seem like she treats Chat Noir as more of a sidekick than a partner?" I ask, trying to do so as casually as possible.
Nino gives me an incredulous look. "Isn't he a sidekick?"
Ouch, that stings, but I don't let it show. I'm good at keeping things hidden, after all. Instead, I shrug, taking another bite of ice cream to help disguise my reaction further. "I dunno. I mean, I know he and the first Ladybug weren't working together for very long, but they seemed like partners, or at least a more cohesive unit."
"Well, she gave up her position, so I'm not sure it's fair to compare them." Nino takes another bite, and then comments, "Although, I do wonder why she passed that opportunity. I know I would've been excited to save everyone."
"I wonder the same thing." If only he knew how different our line of thinking really is on this topic.
Nino frowns, taking his last bite of ice cream. "Hey, do you think Chat Noir ever considers giving up his position after all the crap he receives?"
That catches me completely off guard. "Why do you ask that?"
My best friend shrugs, looking over his ice cream cone to see if he missed any. "No reason, it was just a thought that came to mind. I mean, he gets all this crap from everyone and is super unappreciated. His partner dropped the ball. I was just thinking, 'Hey, I wonder if he ever thought he should do the same thing.'"
"I wouldn't be surprised if he's thought something like that." I say after a long pause, deciding it's the best response I can give.
To be honest, I most definitely haven't thought something like that before. I mean, I've thought about how unappreciated I am as Chat, but the idea to step down like the original Ladybug has simply never crossed my mind. However, now that the seed is planted, I can't get it out of my head. The citizens of Paris seem intent on hating on me, no matter what hoops I try to fly through in order to help them and Ladybug. Speaking of Ladybug, she hates me as well. I doubt she would miss her partner if Chat disappeared off the face of the planet. The idea of doing so makes me inwardly squirm. Would I really be willing to toss away my job as a hero of Paris?
Ultimately, I mentally shut that train of thought down. This is not the train of thought I need to be having right now.
"Hey, so what do you say we head to your house now and get started on that homework?" I finally say, staring at the barely eaten ice cream in my hands.
Nino finishes eating his cone, and looks at me in horror. "You aren't going to finish that?"
"Nah, I'm not hungry." I shake my head, standing up and walking over to the trashcan. He looks even more horrified as I throw it away.
"Not cool, man." He jokes, nudging me in the arm before leading the way towards his house, all discussion of our heroes forgotten.
I, however, have not pushed those thoughts aside. They lurk in my head, echoing and repeating as my mind processes everything we discussed. There's just so much to think about. Chat stepping down? I want to say that the very idea is ridiculous, however I'm not sure I can say that it would never happen. As of right now, I'm firm in my decision to stay as Chat Noir. I am a hero. What kind of hero would I be to pass that up? What sort of person am I if I throw away the one thing that lets me feel real and free?
And yet, I don't work with this Ladybug. You can see it even as we work together. We don't mesh, and we are certainly not partners. Working with the first Ladybug felt so natural. So right. Yet no matter what happens, I never experience that anymore. Would it be better to relinquish my title and let someone better suited to working with this Ladybug take the role?
Or, even better, find my first Ladybug?
No, she's gone. If she wanted to be found, she would be, right? I have absolutely no idea where I would even start if I were to try and find her. After all, we kept our identities secret. She had her chance to be Ladybug, and she gave it up. Would it be fair to this new Ladybug to try and bring that one back? Is it even fair to pine for the one that abandoned Paris?
Yet no matter how hard I try to blame her for this, I can't. No matter how hard I try, I can't convince myself to let go of the girl with the bluebell eyes.
Unconsciously I grab the finger that my ring is on, running my thumb over it in contemplation as I distractedly talk with Nino, not really paying attention to the conversation. I know he doesn't deserve that, but I can't help it. Our conversation has sparked so many thoughts that I need to handle. So many doubts. Is being Chat Noir really worth it?
Alya's Point of View
"Alya, won't you play with us?" Etta asks, looking up at me with her big, hazel eyes and an adorable pout.
However, I have gotten very good at not falling for those big eyes, and shake her hands off of mine. "Not right now, Etta."
I step past her before she can try to do anything else to hold me back, and make my way into my room. Then I shut the door before she or anyone else can try anything else to delay me.
From behind the door, I hear Ella whine, "You never play with us anymore! You're no fun."
I sigh, shaking my head as I drop my bag by my bed and falling onto it in exasperation. Tikki flies out of my bag, and the look on her face suggests she's about to give me some more of her advice. I have to resist groaning and covering my ears. I totally have this. The little kwami is sweet, but she always seems very insistent that she knows what's best for me and Ladybug. I have never actually told her, but I think she realizes that I trust my gut over any of her advice.
"Alya, you have time to play with them." She finally says after we look at each other for a few minutes.
I shake my head determinedly. "But I don't, Tikki. I have to do my homework now so that I'm ready for patrol later."
The red kwami sighs. "You could not do patrol today. It'd be easy enough to call Chat when it's time, tell him you guys are going to take time to rest, and then not go. Even if you don't play with your sisters, you could use the time to sleep. You're only human, no matter how hard you try to act otherwise. Marinette was right today in class when she commented on how many times she's had to wake you up. You're going to start getting into trouble if you aren't more careful."
However, I'm not going to bend. Patrolling Paris is necessary, and being a hero should be the most important thing when it comes to priorities. The first Ladybug couldn't handle the stress. I refuse to be like her. "I'll be fine. I can handle it and the pressure. Haven't I proven that to you?"
"Oh, Alya, is that what you think this is? I'm not asking you to prove yourself. I know that you've proven to be a good Ladybug." There's something in those words, some hidden meaning that I'm missing. What is it? "But you still need to rest. It's okay to skip a patrol in order to take care of yourself." As if sensing that this isn't working, she adds, "And even if you won't do it for your sake, Chat Noir is human as well."
"That lazy cat is probably out there fooling around as Chat. Haven't you seen how he behaves? He's always causing more messes for me to clean up, Tikki. If we stick to this strict schedule, I'm able to keep a close eye on him and stop him from fooling around and causing trouble." I huff, shaking my head. "Why is he even around? I do perfectly fine without him."
She sighs. "We've been over this. The Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous need each other, even if you don't see it. They balance each other, and they need each other to succeed."
"Well, he should still be doing a better job." I say with a disdainful sniff.
"Well, maybe he could do that if you were giving him a chance." I already have a feeling that I know where this conversation is going. "You're constantly riling up the public against him on the Ladyblog. Was the article that you posted this morning really necessary?"
"Yes! He needed to get called out for what he does. Didn't you see all of the agreement I got in the comments?" I say, folding my arms and scowling.
"But was that agreement because they feel that way, or because you planted the seeds there?" Her blue eyes meet mine, daring me to argue otherwise. "Maybe if you just helped him to feel more needed, more like a partner-"
I interrupt, not wanting to hear the rest of that thought. "And let him bungle the job? No way. Maybe if he proves himself he can be trusted to do more, but until then, I'm not trusting him with anything, Tikki. Besides, I'm the leader of the group. He's just a sidekick."
She just gives a cryptic, "Only because you've put him in that box."
I sigh, not willing to continue the topic. Instead, I reach into my bag and pull out a notebook, ready to change the topic to something that is way more important. "I was thinking about Hawkmoth today, and how we could track him."
"Alya, you can't do that on your own. You would need Chat at least, and neither of you are ready." Tikki reprimands me, and my scowl falls back into place.
"But wouldn't it still be good to know who he is? Then we could get better at stopping him, and work on practicing till we are good enough to defeat him. It would give us a goal!" I protest, determined to convince her that this is the right thing to do.
She shakes her head. "No, Alya, you have to wait. Patience is key here. Otherwise you will rush and not be ready, even if you think you are."
"Look, at least hear me out." I protest, seating myself more comfortably on my bed. Then I open up the red notebook I pulled out, flipping through it till I find the page where I scribbled down my thoughts that struck me during class on the subject. "See?" I point to the words. "I was thinking that, if you could just sense where Hawkmoth's miraculous is-"
"But I can't. Don't you think this situation could have been handled already if I could?" She says it in such a tired fashion.
"But can't you tell whenever a Miraculous is activated?" I ask, confused on how those could be any different.
Tikki nods, sicking down onto the bed. "Yes, but that doesn't mean we can tell where they are being activated. Otherwise we would know where Hawkmoth is and vice versa. Things would be much simpler and yet much more complicated."
"Can you at least sense where your Miraculous is?" I question, still not entirely sure how this entire thing works anyways. How did the kwamis get tied to them in the first place? How long have they been around? Have they always been used for good, besides Hawkmoth?
Tikki shakes her head. "No, which is why it important for you to always wear the earrings and always keep me with you. As I've told you before, activating the Miraculous doesn't work unless both the kwami and the Miraculous are with each other."
I lean forward with a sigh, scratching my head. "Well, then how the heck are we supposed to find Hawkmoth? Search all of Paris?" Actually, that could be a good idea. There can't be too many places that he could stake out, right?
"Leave that alone for now. We can handle that when the time comes." She says, floating by my head and patting my cheek.
"Okay, so you can't tell where the Miraculous is activated. Do you at least sense who is activating it?" I question, looking her in the eye.
She shakes her head. "No, none of us know. We find out the exact same way you do. All we sense is that it is being activated, and if it's the same person activating it as usual."
"That's what I was expecting." I say in disappointment, flopping back onto my bed. "So you don't know who Chat Noir is?"
"No, I don't." The kwami shakes her head again.
"Dang it. I was hoping I could chew him out, give him a piece of my mind." I say, smiling ever so slightly.
"And expose your identity to him as Ladybug? Really?" Tikki sounds surprised that I'd even suggest such a thing after how fiercely I've been guarding my secret.
Now it's my turn to shake my head. "No, but it is a thought." I prop myself up onto my side, looking at her again. "Why would someone ever give you up? Give this up?"
She sinks down onto the bed, frowning. "The Ladybug before you was very brave. Please don't think that she wasn't, Alya."
"Brave?" I scoff. "If she was brave, she wouldn't have given the earrings over to me."
"Bravery comes in many different forms." Tikki says with a sigh. "She was so unprepared for what was going to happen though. I...I scared her. Overwhelmed her. I rushed her and I didn't explain well enough, so she made a simple mistake and beat herself up for it. If I had done better..."
"You wish that she still had the earrings." I try not to sound betrayed as I say the words, but my heart aches. Why does this sweet kwami wish for a girl who rejected her? Who couldn't handle being Ladybug? Even if she can be rather annoying, I would never do such a thing to her. Besides, if that other Ladybug was so great and she picked for me to pick up the mantel, shouldn't I be even better?
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. You're a good Ladybug." Again with the way she says it, as if there's more meaning to it. It doesn't help that it feels like she's talking down to me, as if I am a child.
"Well, I'll be better than good, Tikki." I say with finality, sitting up. "I'll be the best Ladybug you and the world have ever seen. I'll work harder than ever. I won't give you up like that other girl. I promise. I agreed to be a heroine and save Paris, and I intended to keep that agreement. I won't let anything get in the way of that."
Tikki just gives a tired response, one that is less enthusiastic than I expected. "Thank you."
"You're tired." I say, standing up. "Let me get you a cookie, so you can rest up and be ready for patrol later." I head for the door, and then glance back at where the tiny kwami lays on the bed. "Then I'll do my homework. Don't worry, I've got this completely under control."
Master Fu's Point of View
I sit down, staring at the box of Miraculous beside me in contemplation. Did I make a mistake in my selection for the Ladybug miraculous? Every time I think about it, I come to the same conclusion: no, I picked correctly. The girl who got the Miraculous was supposed to get it. So why then did she turn the Ladybug miraculous away? Why did she place it in the hands of someone who was not worthy? No matter how many times I try to grapple with the subject, I can't figure out what went wrong. It wasn't something on my end, but there is no way to contact Tikki and discuss the subject with her. That would make things much, much simpler.
"Master," Wayzz draws my gaze away from the box, "are you alright?"
"Yes, Wayzz, I'm fine." I say with a nod, looking back at the box. "I'm just thinking about the same thing as always."
"You couldn't have possibly known that the girl would reject the Miraculous." My green kwami says, floating to the top of the box and seating himself there.
I nod with a sigh. "I know that. It's just the fact that it is so rare. Practically unheard of with the Ladybug, considering the luck that comes with it."
He nods. "I know. But it is a lot for someone so young to handle."
"I know she was right one. The one who has it currently, she is not the one who should have it. It is not right. Everything has become imbalanced because of it, and I do not know how to right the scales." I sink down in the chair, wishing that I had more answers and less questions. Now two Miraculous are in the hands of people who do not deserve them, and I'm not sure what is the best solution.
"I sense that your concern extends past the fact that we now have lost control of two Miraculous." Wayzz says, reading me in that uncanny way that he always does. He seems to know me better than I know myself.
"You know me too well, old friend." I say with a weak chuckle. "Yes, I'm concerned for the Black Cat. He is not with his correct partner. If you watch them fight, you can feel how wrong it is. I worry that he will reject the Miraculous as well, unless something is done to prevent it."
"Like what?" He asks, eyes wide.
I sigh, placing my head in my hand. "That is my biggest problem, Wayzz. I do not know what to do to prevent losing another Miraculous. I'm afraid to give any more out, and there is no way for me to intervene with the Ladybug. After all, we have no idea who wields it, and so we have no way to return Tikki to her proper wielder."
Again, my friend seems taken by surprise. "You would give the Ladybug back to Marinette Dupain-Cheng, even after she rejected it before?"
"Yes, Wayzz, I would. I need to watch her further, but from what I have seen, she regrets her decision. I know that she is meant to be a Miraculous wielder, and I do not think that she would reject one again, especially the Ladybug." I say firmly.
He frowns. "Would you give her another besides the Ladybug?"
I shake my head. "Only if it were part of a plan to get her to be Ladybug again. That is the role she is meant to be. The one we have now, she is no good. You and I have both seen that." I sigh again, rubbing my temple as I do. "Perhaps, if we watch her behavior, we can see if she truly is ready. I would be willing to send the Bee out. Pollen is one that is rarely rejected, and I think that she could help our Ladybug to grow and grow quickly while coming up with ways to get this new Ladybug to give up her spots. While this new one might be hero material, she is not a Ladybug. She needs something else, although I can't say what. I have had no chance to observe her and decide, seeing as Tikki does not seem to have any influence over her character. She would need someone who could handle a girl like her, a spitfire."
"Like Pollen?" Wayzz suggests.
I frown, considering it. "No, Pollen would probably be too much. They would butt heads, and the situation would be no better than the one we have with Tikki. No, Pollen is for quick changes such as the case of our real Ladybug, but this new Ladybug needs a slower change. Perhaps, if things align, she could someday have Trixx to help her."
This seems to dissatisfy my turtle friend. "Trixx? Really?"
I chuckle. "I know you disapprove of the tricky Fox and their ways, but Trixx is a valuable asset. She is good for helping with confidence and urging for patience. I know she is very easy to get along with."
"That doesn't mean her Miraculous is always accepted. We have seen it rejected a fair amount of times." The kwami comments.
"It was just a suggestion, Wayzz. It would not even be considered till we fix our problem at hand." I look down at my own Miraculous, fiddling with it.
"Is something else bothering you, Master?" Wayzz asks, moving to sit on my knee and look up at me.
"I think the time is coming where I will be stepping down from my position." I say carefully.
Apparently this is not what Wayzz wants to hear. "Master, don't even say that. Is this really the time to even be considering such a thing? I mean, with so many Miraculous in the wrong hands, what would we do if the Turtle was rejected?"
"It hasn't been rejected yet." I point out.
"That's besides the point. How can we trust someone so young and inexperience to handle the difficult decisions they would have to make as the Guardian at this time, especially with the chaos surrounding the Miraculous?" I will admit, he brings up good points, but he acts as if I have not considered any of these. Surely he has more faith in me than this?
I just sigh. "They would have you, wouldn't they? You could guide them. And I don't see why I could not guide them, at least while I was able to. However, I'm getting old, and I can't help in the fight against Hawkmoth."
The kwami shakes his head, a fierce expression on his face. "That simply isn't true. You are barely over one hundred. Why, we've had a six hundred year old-"
"Wayzz, this is as much my decision as it is yours, if not more." i say with finality. "Besides, I would not do it without a second thought. It would be a very careful decision, one I would discuss with you and make sure was the right one. Don't you trust me?"
He hesitates, before taking a deep breath and nodding. "Yes, I do. I am just worried for our future, especially with the current chaos. I am concerned that switching now would not be wise."
"It will not be a main priority." I assure. "However, if the time comes, we must be ready. I will do my best to sort the current issue before handing off the mantel though. It would be rude to leave my replacement with such a large mess to clean, especially since I would be leaving it in experience hands. Now, let us veer back on track. What can we do to help our Black Cat?"
Oh my gosh, that was intense to write! I've been working on this for at least two weeks on and off, and it's by far the longest chapter of a story that I have ever written on here. However, I am incredibly proud of it. I would like to strive to have all of my chapters for this story be this long, so I would not expect them to have short time gaps between them. I do have stuff planned out for the direction of this story, but I have not written any further ahead yet. All I know are that there are several things I intend to include as it continues.
Hopefully you guys enjoyed this chapter and story concept though! What do you guys think so far? I apologize for any OCness, but somethings do have to change and somethings should be expected to change. However, I am trying to write them as realistically as possible based on my thoughts on how they would react if this happened. What do you think of Marinette and Theo interacting? What about Adrien's thoughts? What do you think of Alya's thoughts and actions? How about Master Fu's discussion with Adrien? What akuma do you think will be appearing first? Any akumas that you are particularly excited to see? Should I only include akumas that appear in the show, at least for now, or should others make an appearance as well? Are there any characters you would like me to explore more in this story that don't get explored as much in the show? Hopefully the amount of character changes wasn't jarring. I have a feeling that most chapters will have a few, so don't be alarmed.
Thanks for reading! If you have time, it'd be awesome if you favorited, followed, and/or reviewed to show your support. However, even if you don't, thank you for taking the time to read through my story! I've really wanted to write a story where Marinette has another miraculous, and since it gave me an excuse to switch more than one miraculous, I figured "why the heck not?" Hopefully I'm doing it justice so far. If you have any thoughts on something I could do better to make this story better, let me know! c; I'd love tips or suggestions on something I could improve, and even though I cannot guarantee that I will include them, I always at least take them into consideration.
Until next time!
~ Dagger