A look inside your heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. Lyrics used are from "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner, "All Out Of Love" by Air Supply, "Whola Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin, "Miracles" by Jefferson Starship, "Sugar Sugar" by The Archies, "One More Time" by Britney Spears and "House of Cards" by The Wishing Well. Yes, I'm serious.

A/N: Uh. Crack turned angst? Crangst? I don't even know.

A/N: Beta provided by the wonderful Celesma :-) All remaining mistakes are my own.

Vash had eaten a drugged donut.

That had to be what had happened. Because, well, their lives were weird even before, but this? Whole new level of freaky.

Also, it was either that or Legato was seriously messing with his mind. Though Wolfwood doubted that even that crazy son of a bitch would come up with something like this, not least because it'd be freaking pointless.

So, yeah.

Drugged donut made the most sense.

It was still crazy, granted, but it would explain why, for three hours straight now, Vash kept singing the most ridiculous songs while flailing dramatically around like a fucking dance queen or a panicked thomas or something.

"I wanna know what love iiiiis! I want you to show meeee!"

"Vash, for Chrissakes, shut up!"

Vash ignored him completely and kept singing (both loudly and badly), while making an absurd little leap and flailing his arms like an eight-year-old girl showing off her pink Sunday dress. The way his red coat kept swishing around with the movement didn't help stifle that particular mind-scarring image either. Vash was walking – well, dancing – slightly ahead of the priest, making silly gestures and batting his eyelashes at nothing, as if he intended to propose to one of the dunes or the rocks they kept passing or was performing some kind of weird bird-mating ritual.

At this point, Wolfwood wouldn't put it past him.

"I wanna feel what love iiiis!"

"Tongari, cut it out, or I'll shove a cactus down your throat, I swear!"

Vash froze and stopped abruptly, freezing in mid-movement.

Then:

"I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you!"

"Argh!"

"I'm all out of love, what am I without you!"

"Tongari, I swear – "

He almost bit through his cigarette in frustration, hand twitching towards the Punisher. Coincidentally, Vash chose that moment to make a leap and a pirouette (while he kept singing at the top of his damned lungs) and, through that, put himself out of Wolfwood's punching range.

"There's no easy way, it gets harder each day. Please love me, or I'll be gone, I'll be goooone!"

Yeah, if only.

After several – failed – attempts to tackle the Humanoid Typhoon and wrestle him down (while Vash kept crooning something like "Hit me baby one more tiiiiime!" – and what the hell kind of song even was that?), Wolfwood finally gave up, choosing to damn Vash in silence.

Time dragged on and he tried not to listen, though that was hard because

– You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin' –

– All we gotta do is get a little faith in you –

– I just can't believe the wonder of this feeling too –

What. The. Hell?

Finally, Vash switched to slower, more quiet songs once the suns started setting, though his overly emotional, mournful singing wasn't much better than the ear-splitting noise from before.

Also, he appeared to have exhausted himself – though he didn't look nearly as run-down as Wolfwood felt, when he finally just flopped down on his back near the campfire after the priest had coaxed a flame out of the chopstick-like brands.

Wolfwood stared disbelievingly and in frustrated speechlessness as the asshole just lied down, still singing softly to himself, then started snoring obnoxiously, with a self-righteous smile on his face.

Bastard.

But it was finally, finally and blessedly quiet.

With a sigh, Wolfwood sat down where he'd been kneeling, getting the fire ready.

Now what the heck had that been all about?

Because there was Vash just being crazy because he was Vash and then there was Vash being crazy in order to hide something, or to achieve something he thought he wouldn't get through straightforward means. There was Vash covering things up, and there was Vash trying to make a point.

Wolfwood knew this and he knew Vash knew he knew this, and that made it a gazillion times more annoying.

Either this whole charade didn't mean anything at all, or it did, and Vash wanted him to figure out what.

Selfish dick.

Wolfwood thought back to that morning, when they'd just started out of town and everything had still been more or less normal (except for the way Vash had been eating a jelly-filled donut and the disgusting sounds he'd been making. Hence, drugged-donut theory. Except Vash ate that stuff all the time and was always disgusting about it).

"How can you eat that stuff all the time, Tongari, you're startin' to worry me."

"Why?" (Okay, so it had sounded more like Bwhouhhy?, but whatever.)

"Just 'cause, idiot! I've known you for a while now and I know you love the stuff to distraction, I just don't get it."

"I told you, I just like them very much. They make me happy. It's a healthy, long-term relationship!"

He'd made a face at the priest, apparently pouting, but Wolfwood knew that masquerade only too well. And, as always, it had annoyed the hell out of him.

"Yeah, you 'just' like them, the same way you 'just' know things, and 'just' survive things, and 'just' smile and –"

At that point, he'd fallen silent, realizing what he'd been doing. What line he'd been crossing.

"Whatever. Forget it. If there's anything behind it, you'd have no reason telling me anyway."

Vash had smiled and stayed silent for a moment before saying:

"You know, there's really no reason behind it, I think. I just like them. Or maybe I just never thought about it and nobody ever cared." He'd shrugged and paused and then suddenly frowned, as if realizing something.

"Also, you never tell me anything like that about yourself, like your favorite food and things like that!" For some crazy reason, he'd sounded downright hurt.

Wolfwood had frowned in return, seriously thrown off his game for the moment.

"Because there's nothing to know, dimwit. I eat what I can get. And I don't really care about such things or people knowing or not knowing about them anyway."

Vash had sighed at this and let it be, but, for a split second, Wolfwood had thought – although that made no sense at all – that he'd looked almost sad.

Shortly after, the damn singing had started and he'd forgotten all about their little argument.

Thinking about it now, he tried to connect what Vash had said to what he'd been singing about, but nothing made sense. Vash had switched songs seemingly at random and Wolfwood couldn't remember all of them.

Also, most of the stuff had been extremely cheesy and silly.

There had been one though...

So fine is the line

So delicate the word

This house of cards could fall at any time

And the brightest light will explode into sound

And become stardust

Recalling it, he started feeling chilly, despite the proximity of the fire. The more he remembered of the song, the more he felt like he'd better stop thinking about it.

Maybe there was something about it that wasn't as random and meaningless as the others.

Something that Vash wanted him to hear.

No.

He had to maintain the necessary distance. The distance and the secrets that he'd need for doing the right thing, for doing what needed to be done.

Right.

He laid down, closed his eyes and erased the song from his memory before his subconscious could have a chance to remember the rest of the lyrics.

Tomorrow, everything would be like before and they'd continue on. That was the important thing.

If he noticed the fact that, the next morning, Vash smiled at him but looked strangely disappointed in his silence, he didn't let him know.

All I wanted was a look inside your heart

All I needed was a taste of your soul in the dark

Now it's all emotion in a rising sea

If I can't find you, will you come find me?