Hunting for Sam

by Visionairy

Three more days without a break and 8 states over, Sam's found them yet another hunt. Dean, however, has a much more important hunt in mind. Now he just needs to get Sam on board.

Spoiler Note: Begins three days after The Third Man (6x03) - but with no knowledge of or spoilers beyond that ep.

Dean picked up the greasy cheeseburger in front of him and took another bite. Two more days without a break and 8 states over, Sam's found them another hunt. A small town in the Smokey Mountains was the site of some unusual maulings, along with reports of blood leaking steadily out of a solid cliff face. Four locals had been attacked over the past month, two had almost died, but nobody could describe what had attacked them. Yeah, it looked like their kind of thing, but Dean had a much more important hunt in mind.

Dean watched as Sam worked through his meal. He was the picture of focused efficiency – even when he ate. Sandwich in one hand, drink in the other. He tilted his burger at the exact angle to make sure no grease dripped out. And don't even get Dean started on the way he'd had his arsenal arranged. Taking a sloppy bite out of his burger, Dean watched as a large splotch of ketchup fell back mostly onto his plate.

They hadn't actually said a word to each other since sliding into the sticky formica booth and placing their orders. Companionable silence was one thing – a comfortable necessity when traveling together for any period of time. Before the apocalypse, they could go for hours without talking yet feeling perfectly in sync. This quiet was different. This Sam, who had been riding with him in the Impala over the past few days, was perfectly fine talking about nothing more than the next case. And when he didn't have anything more to say about it, he didn't have anything more to say.

Whether Sam realized it or not, this man sitting in front of Dean was not the same brother that he'd known before the pit. And no, he wasn't buying Sam's story that he wasn't changed by his time as Lucifer's bitch. Hell was hell. And though Dean was just so damn relieved to have Sam back, he just couldn't let it go anymore.

"So, Sam…" Dean swallowed his burger and slathered a fry in the ketchup before looking back up at his brother. "What did you love most about Jess?"

"Why?" Sam tilted his head and looked cautiously at his brother, "Are you … missing Lisa?"

"No man, " Dean smiled back at his sibling, "Just making conversation." He took another bite.

Sam eyebrows moved closer together.

Dean went for another fry, then looked back up at his sibling. "So, … just wondering what was the best part of your relationship with Jess."

Dean watched as Sam tried to decide how to respond. The delay was telling.

Eventually Sam shrugged his shoulders, "Um .. all of it, I guess."

Dean's eyebrows shot up. "All of it?"

"Yeah, Dean." Sam's voice tensed. "All of it. What's not to like?"

"Riight," Dean gave him a tight nod. "Yeah, I guess so."

"What's up with you, Dean?" Sam put his greasy cheeseburger down in the exact center of his plate. "Why are you asking me about Jess? You sure this isn't about Lisa?"

"Hey, haven't been able to talk to you for a year. What? - Ya' got something else you'd rather talk about?" Dean wiped his face with his hand and picked up another fry.

Sam frowned. "No, uh … I ..just rather not talk about it."

"Okay, …" Dean shrugged, "No problem." He smiled as the waitress topped off their drinks.

They ate in silence for a while.

"So about this job …" Sam ventured.

Dean shook his head, "No way, Sam. I told you, I haven't been able to talk with you for awhile. Let's just …", he gestured between the two of them, "…talk."

"Talk?" Sam looked confused.

"Sam," Dean shook more salt onto the cooling fries. "Okay, yeah, it has been hard to leave Lisa and Ben behind. I thought it might help to know how you got over losing Jess?"

"Oh, …well, …" Sam shifted in his seat, "Well, you know … you were there."

"Yeaaah, Sam…" Dean shook his head, "I know what I saw you go through, … but how did you manage to get over it?"

"Well," Sam wiped his hands on his thighs, "I … just, you know, eventually … got over it."

"Huh."

"What .. huh?"

"Nothing, just never heard you describe it quite that way before."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Dean … it's been a few years. A lot has changed since then. So, no, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. " He picked up his drink. "Same thing will happen with you and Lisa. It just takes time."

Dean nodded, "Good to know."

Sam watched as his brother took another bite of his burger. When nothing more was said, Sam took a drink.

"So," Dean continued, "Did you run into any of Ruby's friends down below?"

"What?" Sam glared across at his brother.

"Okay, never mind. You don't want to talk about it." Dean waved his hand in dismissal. "But I guess you would have had to be pretty pissed about the way she manipulated you like that - last seal and all. What would you have said to her if you'd run into her?"

Sam's eyes flashed before he looked away.

"Seriously, Dude. What would you have said to her given the chance?"

Dean watched as Sam straightened his shoulders and took a breath. "What's with you Dean? Twenty questions … really?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "I was just wondering if you remember what it felt like when you found out how badly she'd betrayed you."

Sam leaned forward, "So, what, are we going to do - relive my top ten, Casey? Is that where this is going? Seriously?"

"Okay, Sam, ..okay," Dean pushed his plate to the side, "Let's talk about the good stuff. Like … well, … do you remember how you felt when you got that official letter from Stanford - your very own Golden ticket? Do you remember?"

Sam's mouth tightened into a thin line. "What makes you all Mr. Caring and Sharing all of a sudden?"

"Come on, Sammy … I'm just trying to make sure it all came back with you. For instance," Dean thought for a moment, "Do you remember how you felt when Jess agreed to move in with you?"

"Of course I remember it, Dean." The right side of Sam's mouth turned up for a second. "And, technically, it was when I agreed to move in with her. But I'm guessing that's not your point."

"Huh? Wow." Dean considered that for a minute before he shook his head to get back on track. "Okay, well … how about when you were twelve and with five seconds left, your goal won the state championship for your team. I thought your face was going to split in half." Dean lifted his glass in a toast, "Good times …"

Sam lifted his glass, his voice so low Dean barely caught it, "Or when you came back topside?"

Dean paused. Huh. They'd fought so much after that, he didn't really think …

Sam set his glass down and pushed his plate away. Dean sighed. "Look, Sam. I'm not trying to be a prick here. I just need to know … can you feel anything anymore?"

Sam just looked back out the window. Dean waited. He decided to pass on the pie after all.

"Come on, Sam. Let's head out." Dean threw a twenty on the table and stood up to leave. Sam continued to stare out the window.

Dean squeezed his shoulder as he walked by, "Come on, buddy. "

Sam shook his head and slid out of the booth. Dean had shaken up the cool hunting machine that was his brother. That, at least, was something.

Sam followed Dean down the stairs and over to the car, coming to a stop with his hand on the door. His gaze was fixed on a great white egret sailing overhead.

Dean watched for a minute and then walked around and opened the trunk. He pulled out two beers from the cooler and closed the lid as he took a look around. "Sam," Dean gestured to a path that lead out toward the water. "Take a walk?"

Sam nodded tightly and followed his brother along the trail to a picnic area that looked out over the marsh. A picnic table that, Dean just realized, was too damn reminiscent of the one they sat at almost two years ago when he had agreed with Sam's proposal to split up. Dean clearly remembered the absence of emotion he exhibited then, when he agreed so readily to the idea.

Taking a seat facing his brother, Dean passed one over and then took a pull from his beer, "Look, Sammy … I'm not trying to say you're a prick either. I just know that something's off with you, bro. And whether you think it is or not, I need you to believe me - you're just not 'right' right now."

"Dean …"

"Sam .. please … just give me five minutes. That's all I'm asking."

Sam scrubbed his hand through his hair for a second, and then reluctantly gestured for his brother to continue.

tbc

So, what do you think of this so far?