It had never been the words he spoke. It had never been the way he looked at her. It had never been the way he treated her. It was the result of all of it.
It had never been the words he spoke. It had been the loving words he whispered in her ears to wake her up in the morning. How he told her just how much he cared for her and loved her. How she would open her eyes and be wished a good morning before she rolled in his arms only to feel safe. She could lay still and just listen to his heart beat for hours, but she couldn't. He was a busy man and the mornings waking up to him were always special.
It had never been the way he looked at her. It was how it felt when their eyes contacted in a crowded room. There wasn't longing, envy or even sexual. It was a look that told her how much he loved her. That even separated like them they still belonged together and were close. It told her that they were one and always would be. Some people believe there ere are different dimensions in the world, different levels and that the normal human being isn't developed to understand them. She was certain that they were connected in a different dimension. That they could communicate on a higher level only they could understand and she always knew by the way he looked at her.
It had never been the way he treated her. It wasn't that he always walked on her right side like a true knight always ready to protect her. It was that even if he was stronger and wiser he still treated her as an equal and always valued her opinion. It was the fact that he took care of her still being fully aware that she had been able to fend for herself. He would gladly go through hardships for her and she let him being forever grateful for his sacrifices.
It was the result of this that had once allowed her to fall in love with him. It was all this that had her heart beating as if she was a small bird. She had found true love in him and he had found true love in her. It was as if they had found the fire to ignite their light.
The empty void she felt as soon as she woke up in the morning would never more be filled by his sweet caring words of encouragement. She was all alone now with only her blanket to keep her warm and safe from the outside world. The darkness tugging and pulling her in as there weren't anyone to show her the light anymore. There was no heartbeat anymore, it was just the noises from the everyday clatter outside.
At parties she would always receive condolences. She would look at the corner where he would always stand and be met by nothing. There were no gazing eyes looking to meet hers anymore. There was no us anymore and the connection was broken. They weren't communicating anymore. He was yet again in another dimension waiting for her to join him.
The way his death had treated her was awful. The burning that situated in her heart spreading like the cancer it was would always be there. He would never run his fingers through her hair as she lay on his lap. She would have to open the door herself if she wished to enter somewhere. She was doing it all on her own not. She did everything on her own. He wasn't there to help her, he had left her. Their forever had ended but she was managing being just a me. She would recover in time, she just hoped he was somewhere where he could see her succeed.
XXXX
Where this came from and what inspired me I do not know. I just hope someone will enjoy it and it makes sense seeing I'm incredible high on painkillers.