It's a Countdown to Insanity
Soooooo…… That's it?
Things grow old. Legends die and nothings ever the same. The same goes for nearly every hero's story. Including that of our well known blue speed daemon.
Eggman stopped first, deciding that trying to win against Sonic was pointless. He had made his last robot. He went first. With no one to save the world from Sonic gave up after that, deciding that Amy was the only girl he'd ever get and beginning to feel slightly in love, confessed his feelings to her. She went third. Knuckles, excepting that he would never properly be able to leave the M.E decided he might as well guard in comfort and built a house on Angel Island. Rouge went to live with him as a "house mate" but no one was really sure what they were doing up there together. They went fourth and fith. Tails, seeing every one else was packing it in decided to spend the rest of his days in his house as a kind of hermit. His and Sonic's house were only a five minute walk apart though. He went sixth. Shadow just stayed himself, occasionally sleeping at Sonic's when he needed to but mostly travelling sorting out disaster after disaster. Cream simply went to her mother's and helped her until old age did its work and Cream inherited the house mourning her Mothers departure. She went seventh. Metal also never gave up. He sought to replace his creator and cause havoc in his place but was never successful enough to be considered a second Eggman. So that's where it stands. Everyone leading their respective lives mostly in peace. LET THE CHAOS COMMENCE!
"Welcome to the Omochoa guide to getting cable. If you have followed all of the above steps correctly you should now be able to view cable through your TV. Thank you for choosing Omochoa technology." Sonic read allowed holding the manual in front of his face. "Ok, let's see if this works" He said pressing the on button, expecting for the worst. The TV turned on and displayed a picture of Omochoa holding a notice board with boring repetitive music in the background. "The notice board read "Thank You for choosing the cable service provided by Omochoa Inc.
To let me guide you through your new setup please press yes. If you do not want help please press no. Sonic deliberately pressed the no, sick and tired of hearing that robots voice so much that day. "You have selected yes" Said the annoying voice. "Wha!?" exclaimed Sonic "Ha ha ha I was just kidding have a pleasant time with your new product, arsehole." Sonic grumbled something about robots as he selected a panel to show him what channels he could now view. The list was astonishing. Knuckles fighting tips, Tails' DIY robotics and advanced mechanics, Rouges beauty tips. He kept scrolling down for what seemed like forever. A chat show hosted by Surge and right at the bottom…. THE EGG PORN CHANNEL!?!? Sonic had to see this. He clicked on it and was rewarded with an image of Doctor Eggman, Topless, thrusting backwards and forwards toward the screen his fat swinging rhythmically back and fourth, the words: U KNOW U LUV IT!!!! Written across the top. Sonic continued to watch his eyes twitching. When the phone rang he picked it up continuing to watch what was in front of him. "Sonic?" The loud voice of Knuckles came down the phone. "Ya?" said Sonic still hypnotised by the image set on loop. "Are you watching this shit?" "Yep" said Sonic his eyes moving with doctor's belly. "What the fuck is this?!" shouted knuckles. "I don't know? It's kind of hypnotic, the way his fat wobbles" Said Sonic dazed. "Um Sonic?" said Knuckles sounding worried. "You might want to turn it off. "Sonic? SONIC?!" Just as Sonic was about to be completely hypnotised by the swaying tub of lard Amy rushed in and grabbed the remote of the floor and changed the channel.
The image that replaced the last was that of Mighty the Armadillo crying into Sally's shoulder on a chat show background. "There, there; no one likes being written off" Said Sally comforting him.
"Bastards"! yelled Mighty (He had obviously had too much to drink)" How dare they do this to me!" He said throwing Sally off him. "Write me off? I made Sega!" he said pointing at his chest. "I made them" He fell over crying.
"Sonic, are you alright?" said Amy sitting next to him.
"Yeah I'm good now" He said "Thanks Amy, don't know what would have happened if you didn't stop it."
They smiled at each other before snuggling up at one end of the sofa. "How is she?"
Asked Sonic, gesturing to Amy's bloated stomach.
"Shouldn't be long now according to Tails' scans." She said rubbing the lump that gave a little kick in response. Sonic leaned forwards and kissed her gently on the forehead. "You know, I used to dread a situation like this but now it's arrived I couldn't be happier"
There was a knock at their door and Sonic volunteered to go and answer it. He opened it only to be horrified by the sight of Metal Sonic standing dripping with rain. A thunderbolt ripped past as he entered.
"LOLZ IT R BE MEH" (For some reason he had reprogrammed himself to speak L33T for reasons no one knew)
"Why are you here?" asked Sonic angrily.
"I H3RD U WAZ HAVEN TEH CHILDR3N" said Metal turning to him. "SO I WANTZ TO DO HC!"
"Why do you care if I'm having children?" he asked suspiciously.
"SO I NOZE WHATS TO MAKE MI ROB0TZ KIDZ LOKS LIK3!" he said although it was obvious.
"I thought that you only wanted to destroy not create?" said Sonic sounding surprised.
"NOZE! NOTZ CR3ATSE! I CANTZ HAZ SM3XY TIM3 COZ I HAZ NO BALZZ SO I MAKZ3!" he said although that explained it all.
"Aren't create and make pretty much the same thing?" asked Sonic
"W/E, I NEEDZ PPL TO TAKES OV3R FROM MEZE WHEN IZE STOPZ BUTTT I HAZ NO ID3A WAT TEH KIDZ LOOKZ LIK! SO I CUM HER3Z!" He said holding his arms out.
"I'm afraid you might have to wait a while as my baby isn't actually… you know."
"O SOZ! I R CUM BAC IN 1 MONF WEN I CANZ GIV IT PR3S3NT."
"Yeah, you do that!" He said pushing the crazy robot back out of the door.
The sound of Metal shoes and a series LOLZ could be heard as he walked down the driveway and into the night.
"Who the hell was that?" asked Amy who had obviously overheard the conversation from the lounge.
"Just that crazy copy of mine" He said sitting down "I think the solitude is getting to him. I wonder if Eggman secretly wanted metal to take over from him if this ever happened."
"Who knows what that crazy fat man was thinking at all" Said Amy.
"Yeah, I suppose your right" Sonic said Snuggling up close to Amy again.
Sonic retired?
Amy pregnant? WITH SONIC'S BABY?
EGGMAN DOING "PORN"?
Not crazy enough? Wait until next week when Shadow comes to visit, Knuckles gets a treadmill and Tails grows some balls!
Tails: What the hell! Have you got a problem?
No just kidding, Tune in next week for some more in the world of crazy!
