Her eyes slowly made their way around the room. Her eyes passed over Spencer Reid sitting in front of her, concentrating on his work. Derek Morgan was leaning back in his seat reading a file in his lap. Her eyes began to sting. They then traveled up to JJ's office and she saw the petite blonde on the phone laughing, most likely talking to Will or Henry. Darting to the left, she caught sight of Dave with his head tilted back and his eyes shut with his mouth slightly open. Any other time she would have laughed at the older profiler, but today was different. She felt no happiness in her. Her eyes made one last stop. Aaron Hotchner's office. It was late and the dim light in his office was illuminating the man before it. She thought about what she was going to be giving up. She thought about how much it was going to hurt, how much it was already hurting. She continued to gaze up into his office with tears threatening to leave her eyes when Hotch's head snapped up and his eyes landed on hers. She gulped then blinked quickly. A single tear fell from her eyes as she quickly wiped it away and stood up quickly and made her way to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and walked to the mirror and looked at herself. She didn't like the person she was staring at. She lost the sparkle in her eyes. She looked more tired than normal, and she just looked different, she didn't know how the world's best profilers didn't see it as well.
Emily leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. She couldn't hold it in anymore, the tears she was holding back as she stared at all her team members…her family, broke through the barrier that she was trying desperately to keep in place, and they spilled down her cheeks. She was trying to get her tears and her emotions under control when a head poked in around the door.
"Prentiss?" Hotch called softly.
Emily's head snapped up and her hands quickly wiped the tears off of her cheeks. Hotch walked farther into the bathroom and froze when he saw Emily sitting on the floor, trying desperately to stop the tears from coming. He knew she wasn't the type to just start crying on a bathroom floor, and she also wasn't the type that liked when people saw her break. He continued to stay frozen for a few seconds as he debated what to do. He hated seeing her in the condition she was, so he said screw it and he quickly made his way over to her and squatted down in front of her.
"Prentiss, what's wrong?" He asked as he tried to grab her hand to stop her from shaking.
"Nothing, I'm fine," she lied as she moved her hand out of his grasp.
Hotch was unsure what to do. She clearly didn't want him near her and he wasn't sure if he should continue to push her and see if she tells him anything or if he should just leave and act like he didn't see her this way. He chose to push.
"There is something bothering you Emily. I don't know what it is, but I really want you to talk to me. I've never seen you like this."
"And you never would have seen me like this if you didn't follow me in here," she snapped.
He was a little taken back but her words. "I only followed you because when I saw you looking into my office you had tears in your eyes, and…" He didn't know what else to say. He cared about her, and he wanted to help her feel better, but he didn't know how. He didn't even know what was wrong, and she was adamant about not telling him. "Talk to me Emily…please."
The use of her first name had her looking up into his eyes. He had pure concern in his face and in his eyes. It made Emily want to cry even more. Her eyes instantly filled with more tears and she felt them pooling over onto her cheeks. "I have to leave," she whispered.
"Leave? Emily, you can't go back to work acting like everything is okay when it clearly isn't. Please just talk to me."
"I am talking to you Hotch. And I don't mean I have to leave the bathroom, I mean I have to leave the BAU."
Hotch's mouth dropped open in shock. "Wh… Leave? Why?"
Emily played with her hands in her lap. Hotch placed his larger one over hers and squeezed. She looked up at him again, and felt her throat closing up. She didn't want to tell him like this. She didn't want to tell him at all if she was being honest with herself. "I can't tell you why."
Hotch gave her a quizzical look. "Why? You can't just say you need to leave and not tell me why."
"I wasn't even going to tell you I needed to leave," she said as she proceeded to stand up. "You came in here. I was just going to leave." Hotch shot her a glare. "Don't you dare glare at me Aaron Hotchner. You don't know how much I hate goodbyes…and saying goodbye to you guys is going to be worse than anything I've experienced."
Emily tried to walk past Hotch but his hand wrapped around her arm and turned her back to face him. "Why would you leave your dream job? The job that you worked extremely hard to become a part of? Why would you leave us? We're your family Emily, and you weren't even going to say goodbye!" Hotch yelled, and then realized that yelling at her wasn't going to help anything.
"Please don't do this to me Hotch," Emily begged quietly. More tears escaped and Hotch saw how upset she truly was. He pulled her into his arms quickly and wrapped his arms around her tightly. This made Emily drop every barrier she was clinging to. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held on for dear life. She sobbed into his chest and she knew her tears were soaking through his shirt. Hotch ran his hands slowly up and down her back trying to calm her down. He'd never seen her like this and he didn't want to see her like this ever again. He wanted to take away every bad thing in her and he wanted to tell her it was all going to be okay but he didn't know how. He didn't even know why she wanted to leave, but he knew that the reason upset her. Being here with her and seeing her be so vulnerable with him made his heart swell. She was opening up to him and she trusted him. He couldn't ask for more. And at that moment he didn't need more.
Emily's tears died down until she was left with little hiccups. Hotch pulled back slightly and made Emily look at him. He brushed her hair behind her ears and brushed her cheeks with his thumbs to dry them. "You ready to talk to me?"
Emily shook her head. "I can't. I'm sorry, I really wish I could but I can't. I need you to know that I've loved working under you. You are an amazing boss and an amazing father. Don't ever doubt that."
Hotch's eyes dropped. "If I was an amazing boss, I'd be able to stop you from leaving. That's not going to happen is it?" He asked her quietly.
"No, it's not. I'm sorry. I know that it's hard to find a replacement but I know you can do it. Just don't make her work as hard as I had to in the beginning," she chuckled lightly.
"I was wrong and I apologize for how things started between us. I trust you now, wholeheartedly. I trust you with my life," he whispered.
"I know," she said through a watery smile, "and I appreciate it." She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I think I'm going to miss you most of all," she whispered into his ear as he clung to her.
"What do I have to say to get you to stay? What do I have to do? I'll do anything." He squeezed her. "Anything Emily," his voice quivered.
"There's nothing you can do Hotch." She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before leaning back. His arms were still wrapped tightly around her small body.
"Why? What are you running from?"
"Nothing, just know that it's for the best and I love you guys."
"Are you moving? Are you leaving the state?"
"I don't know," she said quietly.
"What am I supposed to do without you Emily?"
"Hire someone else and keep kicking some bad guy ass!"
"You know it won't be the same without you. No one can ever replace you. No one could ever come close."
Emily shrugged. "Well, what can I say? I'm one in a million," she laughed.
His hands cupped her face. "That, Emily Prentiss, you are. I don't understand why you're leaving and I'm sad that you won't tell me why, but God I'm going to miss you. I'll miss that laugh and the smile that seems to be etched onto your face." Her eyes started to water again. "Well, before I get you crying again, I'll stop telling you what I'll miss. Just know I'll miss you very much." He placed a small kiss on her forehead and hugged her again. "Just make sure you say goodbye to the team. They won't do well without you saying goodbye. They won't do well without you here period."
Emily nodded. Hotch stepped back away from her then smiled a genuine smile…dimples and all. "It's been a pleasure Agent Prentiss," he held out his hand which she took and shook.
"Likewise."
Hotch leaned down and kissed her hand. He dropped it then squeezed her shoulder before walking out of the ladies bathroom. Emily stared at the door. Yes she was leaving a job that she loved and the reason was ridiculous but, she smiled to herself, she was almost positive that she was in love with the man who just left her to collect herself. And she was a little anxious to see how her leaving would affect them. It can only get better she told herself with a smile.
Okay, so I don't know where that came from, but there it is! Hope ya'll like it…Drop me a line and tell me what ya thought. And I'm going to have the next chapter for Undercover Stars up tomorrow sometime, I promise…even if I have to stay up all night to get it written! And I'm also working on another story idea, so stay tuned :D
Also, don't forget to sign up for the Smut Challenge going on at the Smut Club! It'll be tons of fun!