QuTePaI

In her eyes, ties are steak, hair is eel, lips are candy...She lives a life of unpredictability. And now she's in highschool wreaking havoc and hilarity everywhere she goes. But...maybe she's doing more than starting a club: she's changing people's lives.

Life as A MangkA sure is hard…

"While the wind blows at her auburn hair and the sun glints in her eyes…she draws out a silver blade and raises it above her head…the beast cries in terror recognizing her great and powerful and fearful and destructive and ALMIGHTY POWERS! Then! At last, a whirlwind surrounds her and she strikes splitting the monster in two! Once again she has heroically saved the world and her town... and her seriously hot and attractive boyfriend swoops down to kiss her—"

"Stupid! Why did you put that part in?" A young man in a striped tie shouts angrily.

Sakura looks up, startled, "But it's only natural for the heroine to have a hot boyfriend."

"You're hopeless! So is your story! UGH!" Interestingly phrased words begin streaming out of his mouth like fish poop water. Sakura looks at the clock hungrily.

Finally the man calms down and strokes his goatee, "Okay. The problem is not the fact that there is romance in an action story…that's only natural. The issue is that this plot is implausible and there is an entire lack of development! You only have three characters! The heroine, her boyfriend, and the villain! What kind of story is this?"

"I think it's a great story." Sakura fixates her stare on his tie…why does it look so much like steak at the moment?

"YOU CRAZY BITCH! You think everything you write is perfectly fine! Who hired you? Just who hired you?" He screams, tearing his hair out.

"Um. You did?"

:Bzzzttttt…Scene taken out:

He flops back into his chair, his shirt ripped with a tie missing...the desk has been entirely cleared away in one swoop and everything is in a pile on the floor.

Sakura hides the slobbery tie behind her as he closes his eyes and begins to speak again, "Okay. You're fired."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I can't stand this any longer. I'll call dad and tell him to bring you back." He picks up the phone from the floor and begins punching in numbers.

"But my dream is to be a mangaka! And then have my own anime and live-action series! Then I can be my own character's voice-actor!" Sakura jumps to her feet, pinning down his hand.

"You can't. Because you suck beyond help!" He shrugs off her hand.

"ONII-CHAN YOU BAKAAAA!" She roars and bites his hand.

"AGGGGHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCKKK!"

:Ten minutes later:

Sakura is standing outside of the building with a chewed-up tie dangling from her mouth and tears running down her face. A taxi pulls up and she stuffs her bags inside, still sniffing. She looks back up at the building one last time to see her brother waving, a cigarette in his hand.

"And don't even think about coming back!" He slams the window shut.

Sakura screams back at him, "I hated doing your laundry anyways!" She slams the taxi door shut and continuously blows raspberries at the window.

"Uh…excuse me lady but please stop that."

She begins to cry loudly.

"My father is at work. My brother is at work. Why can't I work too? They don't care about me at all…" Sakura puts down her pen and gazes at a photo with a heavy sigh, "Okaa-san, I promised you that I would fulfill my dreams. They promised me too. And you promised me as well…so why isn't it working out? What should I do now?"

Sakura places down the frame back on her desk and accidentally knocks down an album. She bends down to pick it up.

"Ouch!" She rubs the back of her head after hitting the desk, but then notices that something has slipped out of the album. She looks at it and…

Suddenly her eyes widen, her mouth opens agape and she is hit in the head with a painful epiphany.

"Oh Mummy I knew you would send another heavenly message to me! I'm going to do it right this time! Trust me!"

"Moshi moshi? Otou-san? Otou-san! I'm going back to school!" Fujitaka drops his cell phone in shock. "Hello? Hello daddy? DADDY!" The phone line goes dead.

Quickly he picks up his phone and immediately begins dialing, "Touya! –What…I'm slee—SAKURA IS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!" He screams, excited. "What? Is that all you wanted to say? Of course I already knew that…why did you think I kicked her out of my apartment? Hello?" But Fujitaka had already thrown his phone down and rushed around his classroom jumping in joy.

Meanwhile… Sakura looks at her phone confusedly but just slips it back into her skirt pocket, shrugging.

She looks into a hand mirror and smiles for it. "Wow! I smile so prettily!" Her smile looks like a dying weasel.

She looks around excitedly. The principal's office is extremely neat and tidy, not a speck of dust anywhere. The door opens and the principal enters. She sits down at the desk in a large comfy black chair. Sakura wonders what it would be like to sink into it if she were as fat as that lady.

"Hello, Kinomoto-san." The principle smiles, "I'm Tadanki Chino."

"Hello Tadanki-sama." Sakura says courteously, wondering why there's such an ugly mole on the tip of the lady's nose.

"Ah-hem, so I was looking at your record…you've only been to elementary school, but other than that you've been home schooled. I can understand that you want to return to highschool…but you've already finished all the courses and requirements to graduate a year ago…"

"I want to start my own club."

"Uh…excuse me? Your own club? That's your only reason for—"

"You've got a problem with that?"

"Ur…no. Ah-hem. But…"

"Okay then, good. I'll be going to class now." Sakura picks up her schoolbag and exits the room. The lady just stares, not realizing that inside her gut is fuming.

a/n: okay so excuse the extreme profanity. there will be more no doubt later on. i feel guilty. i must be the queen of starting stories and never finishing them. But trust me, this one will at least have two or three chapters! comforting, right? haha...not.

anyways, this is kind of for my own hilarity, so if you don't think it's funny i do. And it's also a kind of parady of ccs characters in a way, not really, but sort of...you'll see in the next chapter. everything is so twisted. i like it! haha...