Think Before You Tell Him Good-bye
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
ATTENTION: To any all fans of "Archie": I have not read "Archie" since Mad House days, and did not read terribly much Archie even then. I was a tom-boy who preferred the superhero stuff, but did get some free Archies from my dentist.
PLEASE tell me I am NOT the ONLY one to write an Archie fanfic? HUH? I never cared for it much, but it's the only comic book still being sold in candy stores like God intended.
Does ANYBODY know Moose's REAL name? Unless his parents were unbelievably cruel, it's can't be "Moose". I know Jughead's real name is Forsythe (my brain is one of the world's largest storehouses of totally useless info), but I don't know Moose's real name.
To prove I did read some and how long ago that was:
"Teeny-weenie magic beanie, pointed towards the sky, bring me strength and power, create a super guy".
Re: Anon. reviewer: IF "your" girl was hanging around a shameless girl-theft like Reggie, would you be happy? Or would you rather she enter the race with another girl? But because Moose (can't be his real name) is a de-humanized bully, you don't have to consider his viewpoint. "there are 300 OTHER girls is this school. Go hit on one of them. Midge is MINE. Don't bother her and I won't bother you."
Midge was sitting in an empty classroom, thinking. Miss Grundy noticed her sitting there.
"Why Midge, what are you still doing here? Class is over and it's Friday!" Miss Grundy asked.
"I'm thinking. I have been thinking of maybe...dumping Moose. He's awful stupid and I get tired of how jealous he gets. I can't even TALK to another boy, let alone date one." Midge said.
"Does Moose hurt the boys you talk to, or does he just threaten them?" Miss Grundy asked.
"Usually just threatens them. They usually run before he can do anything else. The only time he's really hurt another boy is the time one tried to hurt ME." Midge said.
"And you do want to date other boys...so Moose has a right to be jealous? Would he still be jealous if he knew you didn't want to date other boys?" Miss Grundy.
"I...don't know. You mean... he's worried about losing me?" Midge replied.
"He's the only boy I know of who doesn't cheat on his girlfriend. Archie dates Betty, dates Veronica, dates Cheryl... Reggie dates every girl in town. Why does Moose only date you?" Miss Grundy asked.
"The big lug loves me? But he's awful stupid..." Midge said.
"True. But that's not Moose's fault. One's IQ quotation is pure luck of the draw. And as a teacher, I can tell you a lot of my "stupid" pupils went on to be successes in life...and a lot of my "smart" pupils were dismal failures. Did you know Moose works at his dad's garage? And is the only boy I know of with a bank account?" Miss Grundy asked.
"Really? I know Moose works at his Dad's garage...he knows that football might not work out of him and even if it does, he can't do it forever..." Midge commented.
"That shows a lot of foresight for a "stupid" boy...but most people are at least a little smarter than others think. That may not be saying much, but you only have to be a little smarter than others think to avoid being fooled." Miss Grundy said.
"Look, if you decide to 'dump' Moose because he's too stupid, that might be the right decision for YOU. It's all about what will make you happy." Miss Grundy began.
"But...take a 'boy genius' like Dilton...he's going to go to a college where EVERYBODY was the smartest kid in their high school. He'll no longer be the 'smart one", be special. He'll be normal and it's going to come as a shock to him. Especially if he has trouble passing classes, which CAN happen...college is a lot harder than high school, especially the kind of school he'll go to. A boy like Moose is used to having trouble passing classes and will ask for help. A "smart" boy might be too proud." Miss Grundy continued.
So a "smarter" boy might make you happier- or not. Moose is proud of how smart YOU are. I've heard him refer to you as "the brains of the outfit". That's kind of nice, isn't it? Having a boyfriend who is proud of how smart you are- how often have boys treated you like you are AUTOMATICALLY stupid, just because you are a girl?" Miss Grundy asked.
"Other WOMEN often treat me like I'm automatically stupid because I'm a girl, that's how often!" Midge said in disgust.
"Think about having someone who respects how smart YOU are. About being on an even keel with a guy- or even 'wearing the pants" in the family, if you want to. You're supposed to be the smart one- THINK before you tell him goodbye." Miss Grundy said.
The End.
I read more DC than Marvel. I read Spiderman, the Fantastic Four, Marvel Team-Up, Marvel Two in One (especially Iron Fist and Power Man, one of the unlikeliest duos in all of comicbookdom), Thor..
I read Action Comics and Detective comics and Batman and the original "Dial H for Hero" and whichever comic "Rose and the Thorn" was in... (gentle Rose Forrest, daughter of a slain cop became the Thorn to avenge her dad's death...only ROSE didn't know that. She was a schizophrenic and had no idea she was the Thorn)and Superman and the JLA and the JSA and Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane and I was a female supersnipe, wasn't I? (Supersnipe: the boy with the most comic books in America, who read them, ate them, slept them. A charming parody of comic books by comic books so that comic book should not perish from the Earth.)