I was nervous at what I was about to do. I had wanted to since we had first met, damn this guy for not having a phone, this is way more risky than normal. I suppose if I weren't so perverted that would help too but I can't help the way I function and with everyone else I knew busy this was my only option. Well, either this or not get off for weeks. I should explain; for the longest time I've experienced a complex: despite my almost constant state of sexual arousal I have been unable to actually 'relieve' myself unless under a specific condition. That is, to be able to get off I must be talking to someone on the phone, I can't finish any other way. It was undeniable that based on visual stimulus alone I could become aroused but without their voice it was difficult to do much more than that. I couldn't explain why the voice had to be through the phone speaker, maybe I just can't be too close to someone in that sort of state of vulnerability. But either way I was forced to face this on a regular basis. As I said the only other option is to hold myself back but I don't have the willpower to do so. I had never been caught before on the phone, I was mostly good at keeping my voice flat so as not to arouse suspicion, but the covering of the phone microphone became an incredible usefulness that may be hard to achieve by this method. Of course I mean that I was planning on fulfilling my needs without the means of a real phone. And though it may seem like a crudely put together plan, the childish phone replacement of two cans on a string may be my only hope. So I was headed to Oshino's place to hopefully make little of my desires until there's a better option.

Walking into the derelict building I became more and more weary but I knew there was no other option and so I held my head high and went to go talk to Meme.

"Hey Araragi, what brings you here?" I was greeted.

Seeing Oshino helped with the situation. Though I felt guilty of doing this all for my own pleasure seeing his general attractiveness, his bare chest from his open shirt, there was a reason why he was my first and only choice for this, and seeing him only helped me feel in the mood. That was good, get this over with quicker.

"I don't have time to explain, here" I handed him the second can.

"What the-" his face held a look of confusion. It was understandable but I couldn't explain why I was doing this.

"Just please talk to me" I stated simply before heading to the adjacent room, pulling the door to and the string tight, sitting with my back against the wall.

I could hear him sigh through the wall, it wasn't the most sound proof which worried me, I'd have to keep myself quiet, this could go horribly wrong but I'm in to deep now.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" He eventually said.

"I'm sorry but I can't" if I were to there's no doubt he'd throw me out or at least refuse to go along with it. I had to keep my intentions to myself. Holding the can to one ear with one hand I began to unbuckle my belt. I didn't plan to completely remove my clothes as that could take too long, the longer this lasted the more I would arouse suspicion.

"Alright, so is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" His voice showed he was not interested in playing along but maybe he trusted me to know what I was doing. Which I suppose I did, but in a different way than he may think. Removing my cock from my jeans I pulled the can back to my mouth. "Anything's fine"

Awaiting his response I spit into my hand and began to stroke myself. With the image of Meme in my head and the sound of his voice I was quickly growing harder.

"Mhm, and why do we need these cans?" He questioned.

"We just do" I responded, closing my eyes as I sped up my pace.

"That it?" He sounded suspicious. He was right to, but I had to keep up the act.

"Mhm" Limiting my words was going to help me, the more pleasure I experienced the more I wanted to scream out, but I couldn't do that or he'd get suspicious and I'd blow the whole thing.

"You know this is weird, even for you kid." I knew it wasn't exactly normal but I had no other options, it was the only thing I could do and the only way I could do it.

"Yea, I know. But it's the only way" I was managing to keep my voice steady and my breathing low, for now. But I knew very soon that was going to become difficult.

"Geez, kid. Sounds a little ominous don't ya think? Sure nothing's up?" He sounded worried but I brushed it aside.

"No, everything's f-fine. Nothing to worry abou-ah-t" this was proving to be harder than I thought it would be. At this rate Meme would know exactly what was happening before I could even fully get hard.

"Alright what's going on, kid" he seemed almost angry, or at least angry in his terms.

"N-nothing, it's just- ah shit" I cut myself off, tossing back my head and biting my lip to contain my noises of pleasure. It did little good.

"Right kid I'm coming in" Oshino yelled through the wall and I felt the string go slack, presumably him placing down his can.

However, in my state it took a moment to register and before I had time to hide my shame he was already opening the door.

He looked taken aback by the image he saw: me against the wall, a sweaty, panting mess, jeans and underwear at my middle thigh with my legs spread as far as the constricting fabric allowed, hard cock in one hand and a tin can in the other. It was all I could do to quickly close my legs and lay my hands over my crotch but I was still very much indecent and it could hide what he had already seen.

He sighed and walked out mumbling to himself before I felt the string pull tight a couple of times as if to gain my attention.

I held the can to my ear and awaited his response. "So what's all this about?" He sounded surprisingly calm considering the events that preceded.

"It's hard to explain" I knew it was wrong and my brain was screaming for me to stop but my body was working against me and before I knew it I was stroking myself once again.

"Yea well I've got all day so start talkin'" that sounded less calm.

"Okay well, I don't exactly know why, but this is the only way I can do it" I didn't want to say too much, it was embarrassing enough as it was.

"In to a tin can?"

"No, no- oh fuck- hm no, over the phone, but you don't have a phone so-" somehow it was weirder now that he knew. I felt self conscious, like I was being watched but now I had been found out I felt no need to hide my self, no need to muffle my moans. In a weird way I feel like I wanted to be caught all along.

"This was the next best thing?"

"Exactly" I wasn't sure if that was meant to be sarcastic or not but there was no point lying now.

"Well you could've just told me" What? I expected him to be mad or ask me to leave, I certainly never expected this.

"Um, but I… it's embarrassing" I admitted.

"Yea and so's getting caught red handed so to speak. If ya really need this that badly I'm not gonna stop ya." I honestly never saw this being the outcome of this. I didn't know what to say.

"So you're not judging me?" I queried.

"Oh no, I'm judging you nine ways to Sunday but hey, you do you"

"Oh"

"Well, do you want me to like dirty talk or something, help ya get going?"

"W-What? N-no. I mean… no i mean it could help but no I just need the phone thing" I stuttered, shocked.

"You sure? I could make you feel good, big boy"

"Fuck, Jesus Oshino, what the hell?" It wasn't that I didn't like it but I didn't want this to be any weirder than it had to be.

He laughed. It was bad enough he'd caught me but now he was teasing me too. "Alright calm down, I don't know what a pervert like you wants" I could almost hear him throwing his hands up in mock surrender.

"Yea well this isn't the time, I just want to get this over with and go" I was nearing the edge anyway, I could say Oshino wasn't helping but the truth was that his words just made me feel better, I was close to climax and imagining his hands on me instead of my own.

"It's okay, Daddy'll take care of you" this time I could hear him snickering.

"Holy, god fuck shit, ahh you're doing this on purpose now, aren't you?" Precum was dripping from my aching cock, it was a wonder I hadn't completely exploded by now.

"Oh absolutely I am, you're jerking off in what is essentially my spare room, you really don't have a leg to stand on at this point, kid." I suppose it was true but I didn't need him to tell me.

I could tell I was close now. It wouldn't be much more than a matter of seconds before I'd be coming. I hadn't exactly planned for this, I couldn't exactly just cum on the floor, I had nothing to clean it up with. And I couldn't exactly use my shirt or anything. My only option was to finish myself into my underwear. I'd have to head straight home and change, hope I wouldn't be interrupted by any of my family. Of god I'm coming "Aaahhhh fuck ohh shit" I screamed as I came over my hand and the inside of my underwear.

"You finished?!" He yelled through the wall, placing down his can.

"Yea!" I called back.

"Alright, cover yerself up. I'm coming in" I could hear his footsteps nearing the door again but still couldn't hide myself. I had my own juices over my hand and nothing to clean them on, I should've really brought some tissues, I really didn't think this through fully. "Oh god, I said cover up" he sighed yet still continued to move towards me.

"I uh-" I noticed he was suddenly very close to me, he had crouched down close to the ground and was staring down to my side. I glanced down and realised he was staring at my semen covered hand. "Right yea sorry I didn't bring any tissues or-"

He gripped my wrist and I could do nothing but stop and stare. It was like I was frozen in place and could only watch what was about to happen. Pulling my hand closer to his face he very slowly stuck out his tongue, closing his eyes and beginning to lick the cum from my fingers. My eyes widened, I didn't know what to do. I simply sat there watching the older man suck my fingers clean, my cock twitched at the sight and I was worried I was going to get hard again. I pulled back my hand and pushed myself away to the side.

"G-gross Oshino, what the hell?" I wiped my hand on to the side of my jeans, no longer caring if I got anything on them, most of it having been cleaned of by Meme, and puttin myself away, reclothing myself again.

He swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking as he stood again.

"I can get a phone if you want, just don't call if you really don't need to." He said.

"Really?" I was having trouble taking in all of the information of the past few minutes. It all felt too surreal, like a dream.

"Yea, and hey if you really want to we could always get a little frisky" he winked but somehow I felt his offer was insincere. I could never truly tell with Meme wether or not he was joking.

"Funny"

"Show yourself out" he turned and left without another word.

What the fuck was that? What a weird guy. Though, I couldn't deny that I was tempted to take him up on his offer. Maybe next time when I wasn't in the room adjacent I could take him up in the whole dirty talk thing. Oh god, what was I thinking. I didn't want that, I mean I did, but something just felt off about it. Though lets just say if he ever did offer again I wouldn't exactly say no. God I'm disgusting. I really am just a total pervert. I was excited to finally have Oshino's phone number though. I seriously had to leave before I got hard again. Maybe if I'm lucky the memory of today's events could be good enough for me to finish again later in the shower. My semen was beginning to cool in my underwear and was becoming uncomfortable. I needed to change. I was unsure as to whether today's events were more fortunate or not but I knew I could never see Oshino in the same way again. Overall things went way better than I had expected them to. And I was glad to get myself off after such a long wait.

I scrawled my number onto an old piece of paper from my pocket. And handed it to Meme before leaving.

"My number, call me when you get a phone. Bye" I murmured and headed to the door.

"You taste real good kid, I'd like to taste you again some time" he called after me. I couldn't tell why it turned me on, all I knew was that I had to leave. Oshino was a confusing man at the best of times. Whether it was a joke or not I certainly would be returning but I had already more than over stayed my welcome. I had no regrets though, if the result of today's exploits were to get with Oshino, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.