Tears Drop Silently Inside, a teen titans fanfic

Summary: Kory Anders has been through it all; witnessing her parents' death, being sent as a slave, fighting evil with a team, and falling in love. What happens if she can't keep the one she fought so hard for?

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or Unfaithful by Rihanna.

Starfire aka Kory Anders was quietly sitting at home looking out her window. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, there was a cool breeze filled with the sent of flowers in bloom and not a cloud in the sky. Everything was perfect.

"I should be happy", she thought to herself.

She was finally graduating from college, closing the door to one part of her life and opening another one to her future. She was going to be a detective and model. The Teen Titans disbanded and all of them went on their ways. Raven went to Azarath, Beast Boy went into the solo act and became Changeling. Cyborg and Bumblebee got married and started a new life. Robin turned into Nightwing and went into solo business. The only thing keeping her from being truly happy was a terrible secret that she was keeping hidden from everyone including herself, something that she wasn't quite ready to confront. She figured she'd been able to avoid her real feelings for so long why bother acknowledging them at all? But as she was turning away from the window she heard a song come onto the radio that broke through the damn of denial that she had built up for so long.

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

Wrong. That was how she felt. How could she have kept up this charade for so long? The beauty and warmth of the day just seemed to seep out of the room and she began to feel incredibly cold. Her guilt, gnawing at her conscience, making her face the reality of her situation.

She had matured a lot in the last four years. From a young woman naïve, sensitive and innocent into a self confident woman who knew what she wanted but was resigned in the fact that, indeed, things did eventually have to change. She found her thoughts drifting to the one man she thought that she'd always love with all her heart and to how much she had hurt him.

He's more than a man
and this is more than love
the reason that the sky is blue
the clouds are rolling in
because I'm gone again
and to him I just can't be true

She and Robin aka Richard Grayson had always had a great relationship. They were friends ever since she landed on Earth. He taught her everything to know about Earth. She was actually was loved by people other than her Galfore. She confessed her love for him about a year before the Titans disbanded and he accepted.

"I've been with him for so long." she reasoned. " What would my life be like without him?"

That was something that she almost couldn't comprehend. But as one year turned into another year she knew she felt her passion for him waiver. Her instincts told her that Robin knew that things had changed, especially when she left and started going to "him" for comfort and advice while she was on a case. She began to distance herself emotionally from Robin and the time that they spent together kept on getting shorter and shorter as she found more and more cases to be solved.

But as Kory thought to herself, "Robin would always be her first love, but was he to be her only love?

and I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

Red X or Xavier, he was the "other" man in her life. He was her support and pillar of strength that she had learned to cling to in times of need. Their lives were drifting apart, he told her, they both had decided to call it quits and find out what other things life had in store for them. He was always a good friend to her but they both knew that there was that certain "something" between them. An underlying attraction that they could never act on because one of them was always attached, but they always had a close relationship. Both of them went into the detective business. He always respected her long distance relationship with Robin.

"Just to get a different perspective on a case or for help on how to solve it, that's all I'm really doing." Kory always reasoned to herself.

But in her heart she knew that there was more to it than that. Robin knew but eventually he was too tired to argue and she knew that deep down inside he didn't want to admit to himself that he was losing her. But Kory couldn't stand it anymore, that look that he'd get in his eyes every time she told him she would be gone on a case. Oh, she'd always come back to him in the end, but she was never truly "there" with him at the same time. It was in this moment that she decided that she had to make a choice.

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer

Today was the day she would end it. She was older now, more responsible. For a detective she didn't know how she could have been so blind as to not see what was right in front of her face. Robin needed someone who could be there for him the way he deserved, and she needed someone who could share her passion for mysteries with her. Today it was going to end. She may not have betrayed him physically but she knew emotionally she had been gone for too long. She was so deep into her thoughts that she didn't even notice as he silently stepped into the room. He just stood there for a few moments just gazing at her from where she was now seated at her vanity mirror adjusting her appearance then he made a little noise to get her attention and moved over to her bed and took a seat.

I feel it in the air
as I'm doing my hair
preparing for another day
A kiss up on my cheek
He's here reluctantly
as if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
where I'm about to go
and we know it very well

Kory got up and went over to where Robin was seated on the bed. For a brief moment his face registered a look of uncomfort and nervousness but it was gone in a flash replaced by a perfectly schooled look of happiness.

"I didn't expect you to come so soon. I need to talk to you. " She said in a sad voice. It was a simple request but both knew exactly what this conversation would entail.

"I know, I've always known. Ever since you went to college and when the Titans disbanded…It's never been the same between us. I love you Star and I think that I always will" He grabbed her hand willing her to look into his eyes and see the pain and hope he had for their love.

"Richard, it's not enough for me anymore. I love you, I do. But not in the way that you want me to. You will always be a part of my life, you are my first love. That makes you special; you taught me that I am capable of loving someone and of receiving that love in return. But, like you said, things have changed, I have changed. As much as you don't want to admit it we've grown apart. We are holding onto a love that no longer exists except in our memories." She lets his hand go as the last sentence falls from her lips. She knows that he's in pain but in time he'll come to see that this was the right thing to do.

He stiffly gets off the bed and walks over to her bedroom door. He takes one last look at her before he whispers, "Tell Xavier I hope that he takes good care of you. I don't think he deserves you, but that is your decision to make. I always knew I would lose you to him in the end." He shuts the door before she could even reply.

cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

our love
His trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore (anymore)

"Goodbye Richard." Was her saddened reply as she folds her arms around her body.

Kory turns to look at her closed door. She lets one tear fall from her eyes. She knew that this talk was inevitable but it still hurt. She had hurt the man she once loved and she had unknowing left him for someone else. Someone who stole her heart years ago, someone who didn't even know how she felt. Well you know what they say; once one door closes another one will open. It was time for her to explore what could be between she and Xavier. Now at least she won't be hurting anyone else anymore. It was time for a fresh start.

No no no

Yeah yeah

That's it folks! So sad I know…please review. Flames welcome…tips are weclome too! J