I never meant for it to happen, my intentions were good. But good intentions get you nowhere; it just fucks things up even more it seems. I learned that the hard way, I'm so sorry Kyle I never meant for this to happen to you.
I remember the night when everything changed like it was yesterday after all it was just a week ago, but in reality it seems like centuries since it all happened. It started off like any normal Friday night, Kenny, Cartman and I were going to go to Bebe's party while you were going to study for your math exam.
You always were the smart one out of the four of us, even when we were young. You were the thinker of our group and sometimes thought too deeply into things. You always was the smartest one in our class besides Wendy Testaburger and I remember meanwhile the rest of us would go out partying over the weekends drinking, doing drugs and other fun shit you would be at home in your studies not giving a fuck about others thought of you always being alone on weekends.
"You should come with us tonight Kyle." I remember telling you when the four of us met up at Cartman's locker to walk home together.
"Yeah it'll be fun!" Kenny said with excitement despite being a huge druggy Kenny was one of the sweetest out of us he always cared so much about you Kyle.
"I don't know, math is my worst subject." You muttered shyly clutching your math textbook; ever since you got those glasses with those silver rims you looked even more like a nerd than ever before. You still always wore that green ushanka hat to hide the Jew-fro you always hated, despite the fact that Cartman and I stopped wearing ours a long time ago. Even Kenny stopped wearing his hoodie and seeing his face now is an everyday event.
"God damn it Kyle, you have the highest grade average in our class! You can afford to spend one night away from school work!" I exclaimed at you getting frustrated, I wanted you to have at least one night in your high school life to have fun and now that we were in grade 11 times was getting short.
"Yeah Kahl, stop being such a Jew!" Cartman said being an anti-sematic bastard as always.
"Okay fine I'll go!" You finally gave in and I was so excited to finally to be able to go to a party with you and have some fun on a Friday night.
"Woo-hoo how drunk am I?" Lola screamed from the back seat of my pick-up truck Mom and Dad gave me for my seventeenth birthday I was the first out of the four of us, even Cartman, to get a car so I was stuck having to drive everyone to parties and shit. Lola was Cartman's date that night they started going out two days before.
"Shut up guys, we're almost at Kyle's house and if his Mom sees that you are drunk-"
"She'll start being a super bitch." Cartman finished for me while Lola let out a huge scream of laughter she was that kind of drunk where everything just seemed so funny.
"Oh my God you're so funny Cartman! I love you!" she wailed slurring some of her words together never minding what I had just said to her.
I sighed and closed the door behind me right when Cartman was leaning in to kiss her and Kenny was going to make some sort of perverted remark. Despite us our ages and minor details, the four of us never really did change.
I remember how nervous you were that night when I went into your house you were at the front door waiting for me. I could tell by how awkwardly you were standing and the silence in your voice that you were scared shitless about that night. Almost as if you knew what was going to happen.
"There's nothing to be afraid of Kyle it's just a party." I said calmly even though I knew you wouldn't listen to what I said. You were always the stubborn one sometimes even more than Cartman.
"I know, I'm just really nervous." You muttered and the two of us left the house, to my surprise Kyle's Mom wasn't there to watch us leave.
"Dude where's your Mom?" I asked.
"She's at Ike's school; he got in a fight again for some kid making fun of him for being Canadian. She thinks I'm at a study group."
I had to admit I was proud of you for lying to your Mom, just like you used to do whenever we went out to something we knew she would just hate, which was pretty much anything fun!
You got in the front seat of the car with me and off we went to Bebe's house which was on the other side of South Park. Just before I drove out of your driveway I turned on the radio and it started to play Last Friday Night by Katy Perry.
"God damn it I hate this song!" Cartman yelled as Lola burst into laughter again. I have to admit I was getting pretty annoyed by Lola.
"Okay okay fine, Kyle can you change it?" I asked you as I drove out of your street.
"Sure," you said and changed it to the next possible radio station which was playing Bottoms Up by Trey Songz and Nicki Minaj. You always loved rap music even though I could hardly stand it. It's one of those things that still remained sounding like shit too me.
"Yes I fucking love this song!" Kenny screams from the back.
"Bottoms up bottoms up pocket full of green, girl you know the way you shake it in them jeans!" Lola half screamed/sang from the back. I remember looking over at you and the two of us exchanged a glance trying to hold back laughs.
"We're here!" I said when we finally got to Bebe's house and it was just like a fucking Hollister when we got there. Tons of teenagers, and loud music that could be heard streets away.
Throughout the entire time you clang onto me not talking to anyone else, not doing anything out of the normal. While people drank and other stuff like that you just stood there faking smiles trying to look like you were having a good time when I knew deep down you were not.
So I thought i had a genius idea, I dragged you aside and brought you in the kitchen On the counter a ton of bottles were served, Bebe and Red bought a shit load drinks even though a lot of people just brought their own.
I grabbed a shot glass and poured some Tequila in it and handed it to you. "Drink it." I ordered you while you just starred at it like it was some type of poison.
"N-no way dude." You stuttered nervously eyeing it.
"Just do it dude and stop being such a pussy!" I replied getting a bit frustrated at you, if only I knew what the hell I was doing.
You sighed and quickly chugged down the shot not even getting any taste of it. Doesn't matter anyways though, Tequila tastes really bad.
When you finish you handed the glass back over to me not at all impressed. "Happy?"
I nodded and poured some more Tequila in the glass, I knew what I was doing was wrong but I thought at the time it was for your own good. I was trying my best to make you have a good time and at the time it seemed like my only solution.
"No fucking way am I having another one of those." You said but I simply just handed it to you and not wanting to start a fight you just simply chugged the whole glass down once more. Before I knew it I was able to make you take seven, by the end of the seventh one you were really hammered.
"Oh my God this is so fucking awesome!" You screamed and ran away to go have some fun. I have to admit, I was proud of myself. For what I had done, now I would kill to go back and make things end up differently.
By three am that night I was getting pretty tired and a lot of people had left already. "I'm going to go get Kyle and start to head home." I told Kenny even though I was pretty drunk myself not as bad as you but still unable to walk straight.
"Okay, I'm going to stay here with Esther." Kenny replied his arm around Esther on the couch the three of us were sitting on. Cartman went off with Lola a while ago, I have a good feeling I know what they were doing! Seems unfair now that he was having an amazing night, meanwhile for you I wish it was better.
I searched the entire house looking for you, I even walked into two people I didn't know making out in one of the bathrooms half naked. I found you in the basement with Tweek and Craig playing Beer Pong together.
"Kyle lets go home." I replied leaning against the wall because I was feeling a bit light headed.
"Oh Stan! I love you!" You screamed and attack hugged me.
"Love you too Kyle!" I said back, at least I actually got a chance to say that too you. "Craig can you help me get Kyle in the car?"
Craig helped you get in the car safely and just before I got in the car Craig asked me a more than ironic question.
"Dude are you sure you're okay to drive?" Craig asked me in his same old nasal tone and expressionless face. Seriously you would never know if that kid is happy or sad.
"I could never drive, Gah! That is WAY too much pressure!" Tweek screeched tugging at his blond messy hair. Poor guy, seventeen years old and still is just as paranoid and is scared of gnomes stealing his underpants.
"Yeah, that's why I'm driving you." Craig muttered.
"Yeah I'm fine." I said-famous last words. What a fucking idiot I am, even Craig for fuck sakes was worried about me driving. I should've seen the signs and listened to my parents. But alas I was drunk, and I wasn't thinking.
The first few moments as we drove went by as normal you were fooling around with the radio again and I was kind of focused on the road but mostly not really.
As a Ke$ha song played you turned up the volume and started dancing like you were dumb but you didn't give a shit. You looked as if you belonged in Jersey Shore, I guess your Jersey genes really did kick in when you were drunk. Well I was okay with that, just as long as you didn't start a bitch fight with me.
Together as I drove we sang along to the shitty music of the auto-tune queen of the universe and I was paying more attention to you than I should've have been paying attention to the road.
"This is the best night of my life!" you screamed with pure joy and I wasn't sure that if it was you talking or the alcohol, either way I took it. I was so proud of myself that I gave you the night of your life because your smile was one of the things that got me through every day.
I opened my mouth to say something but the car swerved out of control, we were driving too fast way above the speed limit and I remember simply hearing the crashing of metal and the car's brakes screeching as I tried to stop it all and save us. At that moment my life changed forever.
When I woke up I was stuck between my car seat and the steering wheel my head was banged down on the steering wheel. I felt a huge pain in my mouth and I tasted blood, my leg also hurt like hell but at the moment I just wanted to know what the hell was going on.
I opened up the banged up car door and the next thing I knew I was in Stark's Pond, I blacked out again. I was lucky I didn't drown, still woozy from the alcohol and the pain all over my body on top of that I couldn't see straight but deep down I knew something was wrong-terribly wrong.
Soaking wet I tried to stumble out of the lake but fell down flat on my face again. "Oh God, what's happening?" I whispered to myself and kind of praying but not really. With shaky hands I got back up again and tried my best to get out of the lake. I needed to get to the closest house possible, you were out there somewhere and I knew you needed help.
Luckily for me the closest house near by belonged to Kevin's family. The Star Wars kid, I've probably only spoke to him a few times before but that night he was the most important person in my life. Completely numb I knocked on their door.
Kevin answered it and he gasped when he saw me. "Stan? What the hell happened to you?" he said looking me up and down soaking wet in lake water, dirt and blood completely in pain. I was a huge mess that night but I don't really matter you were the only one on my mind.
"Kyle, Stark's Pond-"that's all I remember saying, apparently after that I fainted. Kevin told me the rest of the story though. After I fainted he had Butters and Pip over to hang out that night so the three of them dragged me on the couch and walked over to Stark's Pond together saw my pick-up truck and called 911.
The ambulance came and took me and you to the hospital, you were found in Stark's Pond not too far away from the car accident.
When I woke up in the hospital I had to apparently have surgery on my leg, because the car fucked it up so bad and one of my front teeth had been broken in half and despite a few bruises and cuts, I would heal and be normal once again. My injuries were nothing compared to what happened to you.
Then they told me the news about you, those harsh empty words telling me how sorry they were about my loss and that you were dead on arrival at the hospital. I went completely numb from that moment on Kyle. It's my fault you're not here anymore it should've been me. You had everything going for you; you were smart, kind, funny and just about the perfect guy that anyone would dream to be. Sure you were never popular but you were proud of who you were. You had a great future going for you and I fucked it all up. I can't live with myself anymore.
They had a nice funeral for you Kyle; everyone said nice things about you Mr. Garrison, Clyde, even Cartman. I wanted to go up there so bad and tell everyone what you meant to me but I was so overcome by the guilt that I simply couldn't do it.
Your family won't even look at me anymore Kyle and I guess in a way I don't blame them. After all it is my own fault. If only I wasn't drinking, if only I paid more attention to the road, if only I didn't make you take more shots, then maybe you would still be here. Even Cartman and Kenny give me looks here and there that tells me that even they sometimes think I am to blame for what happened.
I miss you so much, you and I had gone through so much together you were the brother I never had. I've known you since I can remember and its hard going through everyday knowing I will never see you again. And having to live with the burden that it's all my fault. I will never forget you Kyle, you shaped my life and got me through some of the best and worst times of my life.
Kyle, I'm so sorry my super best friend. I didn't mean for your life to end.
A/N
Kind of a bad ending I know, I'm sorry. It's kind of cliché but I've been wanting to do a story like this for a while but it's based off a true story that happened to someone I know.
So yeah this story is dedicated to all those victims of drinking and driving may they all rest in peace.
Thanks for reading!
Love you all, Bramblestar.