Disclaimer: I don't own General Hospital or any of the characters. The way things are going these days, why would I want to?
Always
After their fallout, Patrick regrets his decision to break up with Robin. Songfic to Bon Jovi's "Always." POV.
I guess it's pretty safe to say that I did something dumb---no, wait---what I have done is just royally stupid! I took my one chance at happiness and threw it away. I called of our relationship. I broke her heart. Now, my dreams are haunted by the dejected look on her face just before she walked out that day. God, I miss her…more than she could ever know.
This Romeo is bleeding,
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me,
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see, I've always been a fighter,
But without you, I give up…
I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me…
I will love you, baby---Always
And I'll be there forever and a day---Always…
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you--- Always…
Most people break up because something was going wrong in their relationship. Robin and I were the exact opposite. Our relationship was getting stronger with every moment we spent together. But I was afraid. I was afraid of commitment; of giving her the power to break my heart and to be able to do the same to her. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. In fact, I tried to save her from the pain she might've experienced had we have gone any further. Needless, to say, it kind of backfired; I didn't know it would hurt this much. If it had been anyone else, any other girl---I could have just moved on with my life, but these feelings---this love I have for Robin just won't leave me alone. And so I'm forced to wonder, Am I doomed to miss her forever?
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man…
I'll be the first to admit it---I'm a player; the Dr. McDreamy of General Hospital. Being such, I feel as though I have a fair shot at every available girl in the place. Robin Scorpio was one such girl. The two of us had settled on a 'no-strings sex only' pact and it worked out for a while, until I could see the look in her eyes start to change; until I could see the feelings she was beginning to have for me, until I could see that is was becoming about so much more than just sex. The scariest part of that whole thing is, that I was harboring those same emotions---I just couldn't let her see it. I guess that not letting her on to my thoughts was the biggest mistake I've ever made. My dad always said that he wished he could turn the clock back after my mom died; to set things right. Maybe it's not too late for me to set things right with the woman I love.
Or maybe…it is. I saw Robin the other day; she was with Nikolas Cassadine. They were laughing and talking and, before he left, I saw her embrace him. Oh well, maybe he'll be the kind of man who can give her the kind of happiness she deserves. Wait a second… The more I watched, the more certain I became; this has gotta stop---I'm not ready to give her up yet.
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time…
Yeah, I will love you baby--- Always
And I'll be there forever and a day--- Always…
It's almost as though we're strangers, now. At work, when we do see each other, Robin and I usually talk about the patients we're tending to at the time---it used to be that we'd speak of plans for dinner or maybe a movie or even for sex. I miss that. It's been long enough; I realize that if I'm gonna make a move, it has to be now.
"Hey there, Dr. Scorpio," I greet, keeping my tone light and casual.
"Dr. Drake," she nods in response. Not even so much as a smile. Damn it!
"We've gotta talk." I realize I'm at a loss for words as our eyes finally lock. She almost seems almost pleased to see me. That's a good sign.
"What about?"
"Uh…I, uh…that is---" Come on, focus! How often do you get tongue-tied? I'm probably just making a jackass out of myself---I must sound so stupid to her!
"Well?"
"Nothing…it was nothing---never mind." As I retreat to assess my less-than-graceful attempt at conversation, I silently curse myself. Why can't I tell her?
If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you…
A short while later, I'm ready to try again. Telling Robin that I want her back is almost as hard as telling her that it was over. Okay, just come right out and say it: Robin, I love you. Very nice.
"Do you still have something you wanna ask me?" she questions as I approach the nurse's station.
"Yeah, actually, I do. I know that we're…not together anymore, but---" She scoffs at these words; not quite the response I was expecting. "But that doesn't mean we can't at least talk about what we had."
"What good will talking do us, Patrick? It's over---you said so, remember?" How could I forget?
"Yeah, but that wasn't what I meant to say."
"Huh?"
"What I do mean to say is, I'd like another chance." Her brow furrows; half of it is probably confusion, the other half, incredulity.
"At what?"
"Happiness, life, love, you…"
"Does this mean you wanna get back together?" I detect a plea in her voice.
"Mmm-hmm. Look, Robin, the only reason I broke up with you in the first place was because I was scared."
"Come on, Patrick…I don't bite, you know that." We laugh a little. God, that feels good!
"No, no…I was scared that if I were to open up my heart to you, you might break it and then I'd realize that I was right to fear love and commitment . And, I guess I was afraid to hurt you because I know that I'm not the kind of man you should be with…I was afraid of my emotions; terrified to say it."
"To say what?"
"To say, 'I love you.'"
"Congratulations, you said it…so, are you serious about this?" she inquires.
"Never been more serious about anything else in my life," I say. She smiles warmly. I brush a few loose strands of hair from her face and we kiss---a long and passionate kiss. Finally!
Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines…
And I will love you, baby--- Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you--- Always…
When we pull apart, I voice my other concern.
"Robin, I have one more thing to ask you…I saw you with Nikolas the other day---what was all that about?"
"Well, we were talking about John and how fast he's growing and then Nik asked me for a little more of John's meds, and I wished him luck and…we hugged. Why?" My eyes lower as it begins to sink in that I had blown it ridiculously out of proportion.
"I thought maybe you guys were…well, you know…" Robin cracks up laughing at my expense.
"No, Patrick…I don't hit on other men when I still love with one…I'm not like you." I raise my head and bring my hand up to her cheek.
"All right, let's get one thing very clear---if we're gonna be together, you're gonna need to understand this, so listen. I may never stop looking at other women---" She cuts me off, mid-sentence.
"Yeah, that's nice to know, thanks for the warning."
"Let me finish," I say. "But just because I look at them, doesn't mean I'm not looking at you.
You mean the world to me and no pretty girl will ever change that." I grin and she takes a step closer.
"Good, because I love you." As our lips are brought into communion once again, I feel as though my life is just about perfect. Yeah, I love you, too…forever and for always.
The End
Note: No flames, please.