Disclaimer: I do not own the following disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I don't own pretty much any of the stuff I use in this story.

"You are on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master."

Anakin shrugged. "Okay. I'm cool with that." He took a seat next to Shaak Ti and smiled at her. "Hey, baby."

She stared at him. "Call me that again and you won't live to see Episode IV."

"Oh, come on, baby, I'm just tryin' to be polite." He put his hands behind his head. "So, you see, baby, me and Padme, well, we kinda get off on the wrong foot in this Episode, so to speak. Basically, I choke her. So, I don't know, I was wonderin' if maybe you and me could hit it off together. What do ya say, baby?"

Shaak slapped him. Hard. "Get anywhere within a million miles of me, pervert, and I'll kill you."

Anakin rubbed the red spot on his cheek. "You monkey-lizard! That hurt!"

Obi-Wan grinned. "Oh, cat fight." He took out a box of popcorn and stuffed himself as he watched the two Jedi slap each other. Then he turned to Mace. "You were saying, Mace?"

Mace brushed off the popcorn Obi-Wan had just spit on him. "If you don't remember what I was saying, then why would you listen to it the second time?"

"Hmmm…" Obi-Wan put a hand to his chin. "I guess I should make some dumb, witty joke right now, huh?"

Mace sighed. "This is pointless."

Ki-Adi-Mundi bounced up and down in his chair. "Oh, oh, I know what you said, Mace!"

"What, Mundi?"

"Something about fried potatoes and Ireland!"

"My apologies, but you're an idiot." Mace faced the rest of the Council. "I was actually discussing our problem with General Grievous. He escaped yet again from Obi-Wan earlier today."

Obi-Wan averted his attention from Anakin getting his butt kicked in the catfight to address Mace. "Well, Master Windu, I was going to catch him, but I had been standing in that Starbucks line all day and I didn't want to lose my place, so, you know…"

"The point is, Obi-Wan, that we have the droid general on the loose. I suggest we take action." Mace looked at Yoda. "Master Yoda, what are your thoughts?"

Yoda glanced up above his Xbox controller. "Interrupt me, you should not, for playing myself, I am." He moved his gaze back to the giant TV sitting in the middle of the Council chamber. "That clone's butt, I shall kick."

"Master Yoda, I suggest you pull your attention from that video game so we can address the situation of the war."

Obi-Wan watched Yoda plow through clones on the TV screen. "Wow. So you're playing the Episode III Video Game?"

"Correct, you are. Play, I do, so unlock my character in Versus, I will."

"But you don't get Yoda in Versus. You just get Darth Vader and an older version of me."

"WHAT!" Yoda took out his lightsaber and sliced the TV in half. "Cheat me, Lucasarts will not!"

He dashed off. Mace shook his head. "Could this get any worse?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "It can. Shaak Ti could break Anakin's nose."

Just at the moment, almost on cue, Shaak Ti punched Anakin in the face. A sickening crunch rewarded her strike. Anakin clutched his nose, glaring at the female Jedi. "I hate you!"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Anakin, you say that line to me at the end of this movie. Sheesh, I already have to change your diaper, and now I have to tell you what lines to say?"

"I told you not to tell anyone about that!"

Anakin chased Obi-Wan from the room. Mace stared at the now nearly-empty Council, with only himself, Shaak Ti, Mundi, and Adi Gallia still in the room. "Wait a minute. There's way more people on this Council in the movie! And Shaak Ti, you die before Episode III!"

"Well, the author couldn't think of any other Jedi names except for us." Adi leaned back. "Besides, all the other guys stink."

"Fine, fine." Mace stood. "I'm going to go find where Yoda went off to. But, remember, we must make finding Grievous our highest priority. With the death of Count Dooku—"

"But, Master Windu, who said I was dead?"

Wow! Cliffhanger! I bet you ten bucks I know who said that last line. Just kidding. Anyway, this is my first chapter, so please review if you like it, or even if you didn't like it. Just please REVIEW.

I hope nobody (a.k.a. Obidala) believes I'm just taking their idea. I apologize to all the people out there who are angered by this story and/or want to assassinate me. You'll just have to wait a little bit longer.

Bye!