Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach yada yada. :p
Enjoy!
Weaknesses and Denials
Ichigo x Rukia
The blazing sun blinded the orange haired shinigami. With all the strength that he could muster, he lifted his arm to protect his eyes from the rays. He was still sore from fighting. Though his body is never used during battle, he could feel the weight of his spirit dragging him down. He moaned in complain, trying his best to get away from the window where the sun was persistently peeking through.
He finally got up and sat on the side of the bed with a yawn. He looked around, squinting, adjusting his eyes from the light. He was happy to be home. He was happy to see everybody again. Ichigo stood up and headed towards his closet, looking for something to change into for the day. He slid the door the left only to find a sleeping stuffed animal. Kon was snoring. He was laying on one of Rukia's recently worn dresses.
"Nee-san…" he whispered in his sleep.
A wave of mixed emotions was sent up from Ichigo's spine, up to his head and back. He shivered. Sadness went through him.
"Why did she have to leave?" he thought to himself.
Though it wasn't cold, the temperature in his fingertips began to drop. He decided to clench his fists. Violently, he got what he needed from his closet and shut it closed. Walking out of his bedroom door, he could hear Kon's muffled screaming and pounding at the closet walls.
"Why did she have to go?!" the boy repeated himself.
He was angry not at himself, nor Rukia. But the circumstances they were in. In the back of his head, there's a teasing amount of happiness. He was happy for Rukia. She chose to leave and if she was happy, he'll be as happy but never satisfied.
Ichigo shut the bathroom door behind him, walked in front of the sink and leaned on it. He turned both 'H' and 'C' faucets on and all he could hear was running water. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked different. He felt different. Everything changed since Rukia. Everything in his world fell apart when she left. More importantly, his heart fell apart. She was the only one who could fix it. They say, "time heals all wounds."
"Bullshit."he cussed under his breath.
He splashed his face with water, denying himself of the tears that were slowly forming in the corners of his eyes. Tears. This is one of the forms of weaknesses. Also one of the things he learned from Rukia. So what, right? Nobody was around. He's not trying to prove himself to anybody, right? Wrong. Ever since saving Rukia from execution, Ichigo has learned to be his own judge. He's learned to prove to himself that he could do better. No matter what the circumstance.
"Gaah, Rukia! You're everywhere! Damn it." Frustrated, he wiped his dripping face off with a hand towel and headed off while pulling on a shirt. He decided that he's going try to forget about Rukia.
He let out a big sigh and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Yuzu was serving breakfast. Ichigo sat down. Oddly enough, there wasn't a kick or a punch that welcomed him to the table.
"Dad had to run some errands. He had to leave early." Karin replied to the question he had in mind. He nodded in response and ate.
Meanwhile, at the Kuchiki residence…
The girl with violet eyes was eager to read what was inside the letter. She opened it carefully but in a hurried manner, hoping not to rip it to pieces. Rukia didn't know why she was so anxious to read the letter from Ichigo. Before she left, she remembered telling him that she did not want to have anything to do with him anymore. Personal reasons that is. Ichigo, being the stubborn boy that he is, argued about the fact that they shared something more than just friendship. It was the first time that she saw Ichigo like that. He looked like a little boy who lost a beloved puppy. He looked so vulnerable and dare she say it? ... weak.
Rukia thought about it and realized that it would be for the best. For the both of them. Yet, to this day, she still can't forget the look on his face when she said,
"It was a mistake, Ichigo." More so yelled. The boy paused as if he was stabbed with a Zanpakutou through his chest. To Ichigo, it might just as well be. It would be much less painful, I would bet.
Though she would never admit it, Ichigo is her weakness. From saying everything that she said, she's also denying this to herself, as well.
She looked through it but did not read it yet. It was a poem. She knew Ichigo could draw but she didn't know he knew how to write poems too. It was done in a simple but elegant calligraphy. It wasn't addressed. There was no 'Dearest…' and 'Forever Yours,' clichés. Maybe Ichigo thought that she would understand. And she did.
Subconsciously, she was wishing that the letter contained how Ichigo felt for her. You better be careful of what you wish for, Ms. Rukia. They just might come true.
It read:
"It was hard for me to look back
But I still did
I hugged you tight
But we had no 'goodbyes' to bid
I miss you so bad
I miss you terribly
Now I can't go through a day
With just being cheery.
You've changed me
In so many ways
You've changed my life
My months, my days
With you I've felt things
I've never felt before
With you I've explored things
I never would've explored
I know that I shouldn't be
Dwelling on you so evidently
But I can't help but think
Of how you kiss so sweetly
You've been in my mind all day
Running through my head
And I know you'd still be there
Even when I go to bed
Your face haunts me
In my dreams and when I wake
Those memories I wish for more
Our memories I wish to make
I keep forgetting there is no 'us'
There is no 'we'
It's over now
And that's how it's meant to be
I hate how I see you
Everywhere
I see you around
Even when you're not there."
The ink on the parchment slowly scattered due to the clear liquid that fell from the shinigami's violet eyes. She didn't know how hurt Ichigo really was until now. More importantly, she didn't know how hurt SHE was. Over something that SHE did. Tears were now streaming down her face. This is the first time she's ever cried for quite some time. This is the first time she has shown weakness. She wiped the tears away trying to stop herself from crying. She itched her eyes and rubbed them as if 'dirt' got into them. Denial.
A/N: My first shot at Bleach. I decided to make it a oneshot. Finished at 3:31 am. So… it might not make much sense.
Reviews are greatly appreciated!
Constructive criticism is welcome.
Oh, and… uhmm.. I might write more if I'm inspired. [ehem.. by the reviews! ;
loves and kisses,
N.