Ars Amatoria Romance Themes Challenge:

#17: Why?

Standing on the deserted corridor, Alex Drake took a deep breath. At his feet, rested a small box he had carefully packed and sealed.

He wasn't ready to do this, but it had been his life philosophy to cut from the root everything that hurt him, however, even if nothing should be more natural to him than being there, ready to finish this off, he felt his will weakened, as his heart refused to let this one go, to cut this one from the root.

He looked at the door and wondered if she even was home, maybe she had gone out with her friends, despite everything it was a Friday and she had plenty of reasons to celebrate: she was a heroine, she was famous, she was successful and, more importantly, she was being promoted. On the other hand, she could be in the apartment crying, nothing mattering to her but the absence of a man who was not Alex.

Pressing his back against the wall, Alex looked down at the box that lay at his feet. He had spent all week packing it, little by little, the few small things she had left behind when she had cleared her presence from the apartment that had been theirs, and now was all his. For a moment his heart tried to convince him to wait a little longer, to convince him that it could still be worked out, but he denied himself the hope this time. He had been hoping for months, he had been clinging to a woman who was no longer his companion for too long, it wasn't going to get better, it wasn't going to be worked out just fine. It was simply over, and the only thing left was the goodbyes, the good wishing and the answers.

He finally brought himself to ring the bell, if she was home, it was better to just finish it off quickly, and just like wounds, it wouldn't hurt at the moment, it would remain numb for a little while and then it would hurt very much, but he hoped to be alone in his apartment at the time, to cope with the pain the best he could.

After a few seconds, the door opened and she stood in front of him. "Alex?" she asked surprised.

"Good, you're home," he said. "I thought maybe you had gone out."

"No, I didn't feel like going out. I stayed watching movies," she gave him a quick smile. "What can I do for you?"

Alex bent and carefully picked the little box from the floor, his back straining. "I came to bring you some stuff you left at the apartment," he began, presenting her with it. "And to say the final goodbyes," he finished, before he could stop himself.

"The final goodbyes?" She asked. "Are you going anywhere?"

"Out of your life," he said simply. "And I wanted to ask you a question."

"You don't want to work things out, do you?" she asked, sounding rather sad, as she took the box from him.

"There's no point, if you no longer love me," he said, trying to keep his cool and hoping he looked brave and decided, despite his immense desire to kneel at her feet and beg her to take him back. "I just want to know why. I mean, I know you fell in love with Wes, but I want to know why you fell out of love with me." He stopped talking and swallowed hard, realising he was cowardly staring at the floor and not at her.

"I didn't." she whispered. He looked up at her and saw her eyes full of tears.

"Then why did you break up with me?"

"I guess it just backfired." She was the one looking away from him now, her eyes staring at the wall behind him.

"What did? If you never fell out of love with me, then why did you break up with me?"

"To give you time to miss me, to give you a reason to treasure me, to stop you from taking me for granted." She said. "I just wanted you to value me, to realize what you had lost; now I wasn't with you anymore. I just—" her voice broke and she swallowed. "I just didn't want you to take me for granted."

He looked at her, unable to believe her words. He felt a small flame of anger rise inside of him, but he subdued it, he would deal with it later. "You were the best thing that ever happened in my love life, Jennifer. I loved you like I never loved any other woman, and I don't think I can ever give anyone my heart as fully as I gave it to you. You brought colour, happiness and laughter back into my grey boring life. I thanked the lord every morning for you, and every night again, when I held you in my arms. You were my angel, my treasure, my blessing, I felt so fortunate to have you by side, Jennifer. I never did, and I never would have taken you for granted."

She looked at him, but his face showed nothing but sadness, tainted with a bit of disappointment. "I'm so sorry, Alex," she whispered tearfully.

"Me too, Jennifer. Me too."