Disclaimer: This is a work of
fan-fiction. The here fore used characters belong rightfully to Marvel and I
just borrowed them. The only profit I hope to achieve with this is the pure
pleasure of the reader, so no copyright infringement intended. Please do not
sue me, I don't have money and won't be getting some from this story.
Author's notes: This should be seen as a companion
piece to my other story "A touch of evil" and it is favourable to read the
other story first.
If there are still grammatical errors in the
story then I apologize for them, since I do my beta reading myself and English
is not my first language. I still keep thinking in German where grammar is
different some times, so don't flame me.
Please let me know what you think about this
short piece, I am grateful for all
reviews. If you wish to discuss something concerning my stories just write that
too and I will write you back. If somebody would like to archive my work, feel
free to do so, but let me know where, so I can see if I find some new stories
there. My email address is Sonja.Triebel@web.de
(I am sorry that I cannot make my mail addresst
a direct link here, but the darn computer does not work like I wished him to.)
I know I talk too much sometimes, so enjoy the
story, Belle.
Sinister Reflections
by Belladonna
It was dark in the laboratory but not the light
itself was it that made it seem so dark, it was more the man who worked in it.
The lab itself was put in a cold light by the halogen lamp at the ceiling. On
many shelves at the wall stood uncounted bottles that contained chemicals with
exotic long names and infinite colours. But it was one thing they all shared,
the symbol of a skull that marked them as extremely dangerous and deadly. In
the middle of the lab, directly under the lamp stood an operating table, with
binding devices at its head and feet ending, to fix the patient. Beside the
table lay on a small instrument tray a cleanly polished set of operating
instruments, ready for a new use. In one corner there were many glass cylinders
of which two were occupied at the moment. They contained the newest subjects of the scientist. The
cylinders were just big enough to be able to stand or like the female subject
did, to sit, with her knees drawn to her chest. But the male subject was
watching the man. The room smelled of chemicals, disinfectants and death. The
man was working silently at his desk that stood in another corner of the room.
He seemed undisturbed by the smell and the fact that on the operation table
happened to be a body, the failed subject of a previous experiment, he planned
to perform an autopsy on later. The man was big, his black hair made a strong
contrast to his incredibly pale skin, just like his demonical red eyes did. As
he smiled he showed pointed white teeth like an animals and over his eyes was a
mark on his pale skin, a red diamond standing on its edge. His whole body was
covered with a strange metallic armour with red inlays and over his shoulders
he wore a net of stripes that stood away from his body like tentacles and
formed a cape. He was a scientist, a physician and geneticist to be precise and
in his own way a genius. His name was Dr. Nathaniel Essex.
I don't know why the last experiment failed.
The parameter for this test were flawless and based on the considerations and
findings of previous experiments. It should not have failed and it happened
nonetheless. Another example for how unpredictable and unforeseeable the future
can be. I must have overlooked something despite my most careful tests and checks,
but that should be no reason to loose the goal out of sight. Even out of a
failure some useful information and findings can be extracted and make it maybe
still a success. I think it would be fatal to give mistakes not the same
attention like ones successes, because they are as equally important even more
important that them. Only a fool would repeat his mistakes twice and not learn
from them. And I may be many things but certainly not a fool.
Just like all the other great ones before me I
too have to fight with misunderstanding. Oh, and I know exactly that he does
not understand as well, like he watches me from his glass cylinder. I know very
well what he thinks of me, he would not be the first and surely not the last.
I've seen that look many times, this mixture of disgust, loathe and disdain
with an underlying unbelief and misunderstanding for what I intend to achieve.
He doesn't understand and probably will never do. Just like the great
scientists who came before me, I am despised for my unconditional devotion to
my work and dream. Does it have to be, that one is marked for his dedication to
his dreams and ideals? That one is called evil and bad simply because his
ideals don't match these of the others? I am branded by my dedication to
medicine and genetics, but that won't keep me from continuing to work for that
I one day will be able to achieve my goals. When people sacrifice themselves
without second thought to their ideals and goals, it enables them to reach
things, they'd never dreamed of. But through that they become easily targeted
by scorn and jealousy. It is true that I've done and still do things nobody
before me dared to do, but are essentially for my goals. It is true, I've done
things and still do that nobody else
dares to do, but does that make me not a pioneer and visionary? For every new
method of operating people there is a first time and uncountable tries that
came before that first successful try. Somebody imagined this method and had
tried it out. Were these people different from me? The first transplantations
were called utopian and fantastic and
wasn't the opening of bodies, not to mention surgery on living people, strictly
forbidden in the old times? Was it not for the fearless pioneers of medicine
who did try it in spite of the conventions to gain new realizations and to
develop new methods to save lives? Did they not learn out of their first
failures and would not have let themselves be discouraged by that? It may seem
unethical when I perform my experiments on humans, but these first operations
were simply nothing else than experiments on humans that only later became
successful methods of operating. These physicians put their theories up and
proved them right, they would not have let them be stopped to achieve what they
thought to be their destiny. Would you call them evil or bad persons for that?
The people who could've been saved because of their methods would surely not do
that. What sets me apart from them now? I experiment on humans to find out the
truth behind these mutations, to find out just how they can be triggered
specifically. I advance theories and try to prove them afterwards. Each
medicine that will prolong life is being tested on humans, each cosmetics that
women put on their skins had been tested before on animals. Nobody finds that
offensive or scandalous. What is it then I do differently? I try out my methods
on testing subjects too. If a lab rat dies, it is being examined to find out
its cause of death and not mourned. Some are specifically bred for the purpose
of dying. My ideals are perfection and purity, my belief in that makes me not a
monster nor make my methods. When I do everything in my power to extinguish
disturbing elements in my tests, correct mistakes of nature so these sacrifices
are to be made. I simply consider that a little help to the natural selection.
Only the strongest will survive and what is wrong with being on the side of the
strongest?
I feel his glance at my neck, feel exactly his
disapproval of my methods, but even he follows strictly his ideals and his
opinion. If he killed somebody, in the name of his hallowed ideals, so it would
simply be a necessity or the self-defence of his principles. The ideals he is
following are so righteous and noble, because they are his. Mine are surely wrong
and bad. But within that lies the mistake, because ideals, principles or
methods are never righteous or wrong. They simply are ideals, principles or
methods on whom we orientate our lives. We do that what seems to be the right
things in life and that makes it for us righteous. What counts for me is purity
and perfection of science. That is the ideal I've devoted my life to and maybe
even a part of myself. But that are the methods I chose to use to achieve my
goals. Maybe they are the wrong ideals, principles and methods but maybe the
are the right ones. If it makes me an evil man when following these principles
that are mine by choice, so it be then. Does it make all the other ones who
follow their chosen ideals and principles less worthy people too, when they are
ready and willing to give up and sacrifice everything for just these their
ideals and principles? Does it not make him, who is watching me with so much
hatred in his eyes an evil man too. If he cannot or does not want to understand
me, so even he has to recognize the logic within that, that I do nothing
different that he does. My methods may be differently from his but I too strive
for a better world that I try to achieve with science. My ideals are science
and through it I hope to create a better world some day, his are of tolerance
and peace and he hopes to achieve his goals through them. We both fight for our
ideal's sakes and sometimes we have to kill to reach our ideals. Does that make
my methods evil and his good?
Ideals and Principles are neutral, just like we
are when we are born and as neutral as we are, when we're going to die, no
matter if we are thought noble and righteous or evil and bad. I stand for my
principles and persuasions and I would sacrifice everything for them, if
necessary even my life. If he'd answered me and not just looked at me with
loathing he'd say the same. He too would die for his ideals because he is
convinced of them, of their righteousness just like I am of mine. Are other
ideals and methods that better or worse? Or are they not identical in their
original beliefs, just like the methods are, that are used in their execution.
I ask myself what it is, that causes them to
condemn the methods of the respective other. May it be the fact that they do
not differ that much, that they are much more similar to each other than they
would like them to be?
~Fin~
Author's notes: For this story goes equally that it
is not relevant whether I agree or disagree with Sinister's methods. It should
simply show that we use different measurements to judge people, but not see
ourselves while doing so. In some ways we are no different from those we maybe
judge unfair.