He stared at her through the small cubic window, his fingers tapping against the glass. She probably should have been in a hospital, but he couldn't do that to her. She should be able to spend her time in a place that, at least some of the time, was familiar to her. A place where she could have real comfort instead of the disinfectant scent of institutional walls.
Luis Ramón Alcazar had always been accused of being too emotional, too sentimental. He let his feelings push him, determine his course of action. It was his love for this woman that kept her on-board his yacht instead of lying strapped to a bed in some distant hospital. It was his love for her that made him keep up his end of the bargain, even though she had long since dropped hers.
By all rights, he should have let her suffer. That's what one in his position, in his world, did to others when betrayal was afoot. He would have been fully justified to leave her to suffer alone. It was completely in his power to let her dangle on the edge of insanity, without ever knowing what was to come. She could have drifted into psychotic despair all on her own, and she never would have seen his face, again.
The irony of it all was that she really had been sick. At the time, however, when he really needed her to be, the tests weren't recognizing her illness. There were so many diseases that went undetected for years that there was no reason for this one to be any different. The irony was truly in that he'd been right all along, even when he truly believed that he had been lying.
"Mr. Alcazar?" He kept staring straight ahead, peering into the window, watching as she slept. "We've had this conversation before, and we'll have it again. She needs to be under more care than she can receive aboard the yacht."
"She's not going anywhere," Luis muttered, his lips tight and voice low. "And if you mention it one more time, they will find you floating in the ocean."
She hadn't believed him, of course. He knew that she wouldn't believe him when he approached her. Granted, his appearance, itself, had to have been a shock to her. One didn't come face to face with a man one was accused of murdering every day. Especially when said man came forward not only to say that he was alive, but with a message of, "You're dying," as well. In the end, Robin Scorpio had been the one to convince her that she should hear him out. Luis was unsure of Robin's motives, but he really didn't care. As long as he had her, as long as he could keep her safe… The means justified the ends. Even if the means weren't his own.
She had slipped so quickly into her delusions, and sometimes, she fell out of them just as quickly. There was only so much that medication could do, and in the end, it wouldn't stop her from going crazy. The illness was something akin to Alzheimer's Disease, except more violent. The stateroom that she occupied had to be stripped of anything that she could use as a weapon. She had tried to stab or bludgeon far too many people, including her own best friend. The stateroom door had to remain locked at all times, unless there were someone in the room with her. Too many nights, Luis had found her trying to jump overboard.
A hand touched his shoulder, and this time, he did turn. His head angled down to the diminuitive brunette at his side. Robin's hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, her face scrubbed fresh. This tiny woman, for reasons she refused to explain, was the reason that the love of his life was in his care. She had only told him that she believed that Brenda needed him. Luis thought that she had possibly seen a bit of her friend's insanity before his arrival, that she knew that something had been wrong and she just now had found an answer.
"I know why you're doing this," Robin said softly, "but you don't have to. She wanted you to keep everyone safe from her, and that means you, too, Luis."
He sighed and shook his head. Slowly, his head turned back to the window. He leaned his forehead against the glass and sighed again. "She won't hurt me," he said. "She can't hurt me anymore than she already has, and like this… I made a promise to her, and I intend to keep it."
Luis eased a key out of his pocket and opened the door. He slipped inside, closing the door behind him, but not locking it. He walked slowly towards the bed, watching Brenda's back. She seemed calm enough, and it had been hours since she fell into a fit of hysterics. He hoped she had a few more minutes in her.
He sat down behind her and lightly touched her back. She turned towards him and tried to smile, but before her lips could fully stretch and curve upwards, she lost it. "Did I imagine yesterday?" Her voice was low and sad, as though she expected him to say yes. "Did I imagine the dress and the field and all of it?"
"No, darling." Luis lightly touched her cheekbone, then let his fingers drift down her cheek. He pushed his hand backwards, sliding his fingers into her hair. He tapped the back of her neck, then leaned in and kissed her softly. "You were happy, Brenda. The butterflies all wanted to kiss your skin."
"I'm wild," she said, "but not beautiful like the butterflies." She tilted her head down and lowered her eyes. "I'm ugly and brutal and…" She turned back to him. Her fingers reached out to his face, hovering over the scratches along his right cheek. "I hurt you last night. That wasn't a dream either, was it?"
Luis sighed. "No, darling, it wasn't. But, I'm fine. I understand."
"You should lock me up, Luis. That's why…" She shook her head. "That's why I married Jason." She stood up and walked away from him. She stopped halfway between the bed and the door, then lowered her head. "He would have locked me away from everyone, and that's what you should do. I'm hurting people, just like I knew I would, and I never wanted to do that."
Luis stood slowly, but he didn't move immediately. He was almost afraid to touch her, afraid that one touch would send her shrieking. Yet, he couldn't let her last moments of lucidity be filled with pain. Not when he had no idea how long it would be before she returned to him. He stepped up behind her and gently touched her shoulder. Brenda turned towards him, tears leaking from her eyes. "You promised to lock me away."
"I promised to keep you safe. I promised to make your life beautiful and as wonderful as I possibly can, and I can't do that if you're locked away."
"You have Robin here, and I'll hurt her. I tried to kill her, Luis. I know that wasn't a dream, either. I… So many times, I…" She shook her head. "You should lock me away."
"I refuse to do that." He bent down and kissed her gently. "You'll stay here on this yacht with me, in comfort. And we may go to hotels, and we may go to islands, but the last thing…" He paused as his words caught in his throat. "The last thing that you will see before the end will be this place, and my face."
"I won't know that it's you."
"Yes, you will. Somehow, whatever I have to do, you'll know that I'm here with you."
"Why are you doing this, Luis? After all I've done to you…" She shook her head. "When you died. When you thought you were dying. When…" She shook her head again. "It all seems so… insane, and it's weird because the most insane of things is what's actually real. I just… With all of that, your last thoughts of me were pain. Why would you do this for me after that?"
"Because I love you, Brenda, and I always have."
Luis kissed her again, and Brenda's arms wrapped around his waist. He held her tightly, and she returned the brisk squeeze. Luis brushed her hair lightly, running his hand down the back of her head. Then, suddenly, she was pulling away from him. She screamed and shoved herself back. She fought him when he tried to hold onto her. She screamed in his face when he told her that he loved her.
"You lie! You're trying to kill me! You want me dead for what I've done!" She turned and ran towards the door. She jerked on the knob, but was stopped at the door by two large male nurses. They held onto her tightly, but still she struggled. She kicked, she bit, she screamed. "Let me go! Help me! He's trying to kill me!"
Tears streamed Luis's face as he walked to her. He reached out to her, but she swiped at him. He hated watching her being manhandled, practically dragged to the bed, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Oh, he could tell them to release her. He could put a gun to their heads and force them to let her go, but in the end, that would accomplish nothing. She would just run and jump overboard, or maybe even snatch the gun from his hands.
He watched as the doctor came in and stuck a needle in her arm. As quickly as she went into insanity, she began to slip into unconsciousness. For the hundredth time, Luis wondered if he should just put her out of her misery, and for the hundredth time he berated himself for even thinking it. He had promised to care for her, to love her, not to kill her. She would live out her last days in as much comfort as she could, and she would be loved. She would be cherished and adored, and when she said her final goodbye, he would do all he could to make sure that she knew he was there. Because he loved her, and no matter what she did, how crazy she became, she would be his heart.
And on the bed, Brenda Barrett-Alcazar drifted off into unconsciousness, while her new husband waited. Because she would be lucid again, at least one more time, and then, they could celebrate their nuptials. She deserved that.