Place the stone on the rock where it will glow; and then, only then, the ruins you will come to know.
Or, better yet,
thought I, the Great King Tutankoopa, looking over the ancient prophecy written in modern language, use King Bowser's ruins-tracking device to find the ancient ruins! "Found it yet?!" I shouted to my minions, who were busy at work while I rested on a rock."No, your Nastiness, nothing," was the Bandit's answer.
"You IDIOTS!!!" I shouted, seeing another Bandit take off a piece of the tracking device and put it in his pocket, "Stop taking the machine apart!! No wonder it doesn't work; you're taking it apart! Don't make me do everything! Remember," I flashed the card with the Star Spirit Mamar in it, "We have to keep this from Mario in the ruins!"
"Uh, but Mario rescued Elderstar," another slow-witted Bandit pointed out, "So, uh, what would keep him from getting this one?"
"US!!!!!" I practically screamed. I lowered my voice. "Us," I said, a bit more calm, "We have to. We have to hide this in the ruins, set booby traps, and stay in the ruins until King Bowser defeats Mario. Which," I added with a cackle, "Shouldn't take too long!"
"Uh, but, why don't we get in the ruins then…"
"
You have to find them!!" I screeched. "You idiots couldn't find the sky if you were birds!!!!"After about an hour more of me screaming at them, the Bandits finally found the ruins! Using a special machine Huff 'n' Puff, a buddy of mine, had built, we sucked out the sand, got in the ruins, and surrounded the place with sand again.
I was pleased. "There," I concluded, "Mario will never be able to fin us now! Gweh heh heh heh heh heh!!"
"Fin us?" A Bandit asked, confused.
"Fin?! Oh, find! I meant find! That was a typo!"
"Uh…"
I don't think the Bandit knew what a typo was. "Just go and watch out for Mario or something," I muttered. "Leave me and my Chomps be!"
The Bandit left me with my Chomps and the Mamar card, and that's when the trouble began…
I don't know if it was some of Mamar's power or what, but I noticed that one of the Chomps was staring at me. Hungrily. Then, another one began staring, and another…
Suddenly, they attacked! I managed to wave them off with my staff, but they kept coming. Finally, they stopped — but not before one of them took the Mamar card!
"Come back here!" I shouted, giving chase. "Get back here! I need that!!"
It had to be Mamar's power. The card suddenly began to glow, and Mamar escaped!
"HEY!' I managed to tackle the Star Spirit. Thankfully it wasn't invisible like I thought it would be. "What are you doing?!"
"Star Haven needs me!" she answered. "I have to go back, or else King Bowser—"
"I work for King Bowser!" was my answer. "Get back in that card, you—"
"No!" Mamar shouted, and escaped again.
I chased her around for a few minutes, then suddenly remembered something. "Hey, fly around until you get tired! You can't escape!"
"Huh? Why?"
"We're sealed in! Bleh heh heh heh! There's no escape!!"
Mamar stopped. She knew I was right, but wouldn't admit it. But… She suddenly flew up to the ceiling and broke her way out!!!
"HEY!!! CHOMPS! POKEY! SOMEBODY STOP HER!"
The Chomps still weren't listening. One of them attacked me.
"No, you moron! BACK, BACK I say!!!! STOP CHASING ME!!!"
I ran into another room and slammed the door, meaning the Chomp couldn't get me. However, there was another Chomp in this room, who also attacked!
"Aah!" I ran around the room, then opened the door to see another barrage of Chomps. "STOP IT!! What the HECK is going on?!"
"Duh… Mario is approaching, sir," the slow-witted Bandit told me.
"NO!!! Stop the Chomps!! Where's Mamar?!"
"Who?"
"MAMAR!!!!! THE STAR SPIRIT WE'RE KEEPING FROM MARIO!!!!"
"
Uh… Star Spirit? I don't remember any…""Argh! I have to do everything myself… If you see a yellow star with a pink bow, use this," handing him an extra wand, "to turn her into a card!"
"Uh… OK…"
The Chomps had finally calmed down, allowing me to take one while I searched for Mamar. Then, I got the warning…
"King Tutankoopa! Mario's entered the ruins!" a frantic Bandit yelled to me. "What should we do?!"
"Leave it to me!" I took a microphone, and spoke into it in the creepiest voice I could manage.
"You have entered a cursed place! Leave, while you still can! We do not have any Star Spirits named Mamar hidden here!"The stupid Bandit then returned, with a card. "Uh… I think I caught…"
"Mamar?!" I looked at the card; it was another Bandit. "YOU IMBECILE!!! YOU DIDN'T CATCH MAMAR! YOU GOT ANOTHER BANDIT!!!"
"Oh, uh, oops…"
"Grr, come on! We've got to find Mamar before Mario does!"
Thankfully, I did, and turned her into a card.
Minutes later, I ran into Mario, fought him, and was defeated by him. I tried to take the Mamar card with me, but my Chomps gave chase again, and Mario got it.
Well, I guess you can have unusually bad days once in a while…