Title: Quotable Fragments
Rating: PG-13 for the most part, mostly for swearing, mild violence, and kissin'
Note: These little snippets of stories are not going to be in any particilar sort of order. I'm using this as a placeholder for any of the bits and pieces that didn't quite fit into the plot from Quotable Moments and I'm posting them as they are written. If I do have an idea where certain chapters fit into Joker and Jules' main story, I'll make a note at the beginning.

Note the Second: As of this posting, Quotable Moments has 100 reviews, which is the largest number of reviews that I've ever gotten for any of my stories. Thank you guys so much and I'm thrilled that you've enjoyed reading my story as much as I've enjoyed writing about these two.

Elysium, 2176 CE

"This is not how I wanted to spend my leave."

Henderson's breath fogged out in front of him. "Aww, come on, Shepard. Don't be such a party pooper."

"Yeah," Brown chimed in, reaching out of the pool for a drink. "Whatever happened to the Shepard we knew that wasn't afraid to jump head first into a dangerous situation?"

Juliana glared at them and wrapped her arms tighter around her middle. "She wasn't standing in several inches of snow wearing a damned bikini, that's what."

Henderson moved around in the medium sized pool. Or at least that's what the resort managers had called a pool. Shepard would have just called it a hole someone had dug out of the ground. "It's a lot warmer once you get in," he assured her, taking a sip of his beer and then wedging the can into the snow beside him. "Trust us."

"You only say that because hypothermia has already set in. I'm going to have to drag your frozen carcasses out of there and explain to your squad leaders just what happened." She shivered. "For the record, I wanted to head to Earth and go to Hawaii."

Snow crunched behind her. "You're holding up the line!" Vickers exclaimed.

Shepard looked at her friend. "By all means, after you," she said sarcastically, leaning out of the way.

Vickers shook her head. "No, no, after you." Taking advantage of Shepard's off balance posture, she shoved Juliana into the pool. "I insist!"

Shepard screamed, bracing herself for icy impact, training kicking in to save her from flailing about at the last second. She clamped her eyes shut, thinking about just how long someone could survive in frigid water before it registered that instead of freezing cold, the water was…warm?

"Geothermal springs, baby!" Henderson crowed once Shepard surfaced, sputtering for air. "You honestly thought we'd pull a Polar Bear Club on you?"

"You people are such dicks," Shepard seethed, pushing sodden hair out of her face with one hand and splashing Henderson with the other. "I hate you all."

"Whatever! You know you love us," Brown teased, throwing Shepard a kiss. She rolled her eyes. She and Brown had had an extremely brief relationship back when they had been teens. They'd slept together once, and then the next morning decided that it would be better for them to just remain friends. She hadn't seen him in years and then by pure chance, they were paired together in Infiltrator training. They'd met Henderson and Vickers there as well and the four of them had quickly bonded while rising to the top of their class. The four of them might have been deployed to different squads, but they made sure to meet up for shore leave at least once a year to catch up. This year Vickers had picked Elysium and everyone had been thrilled at their destination.

Well, almost everyone. Shepard hated the cold, but these were her buddies, so she just bundled up and made sure to get the closest seat near their cabin's fireplace.

"Yeah, yeah," Shepard said, wading around until she reached a shelf cut out of the side of the pool designed to act as a seat. Swiping Henderson's beer, she finished it in two gulps. "I guess somebody has to."

"What I can't believe," Vickers said, unfolding her towel on a nearby lounge chair, "is that you didn't bring your gun out here with you."

Juliana eyed her neatly folded towel. Normally, her pistol would have been sitting primly atop it. "Hey, be grateful I left Bertha back in the cabin."

"What is it with you Shepards naming your weapons? What did your dad call his old rifle? Maddy? Madda?"

"Matilda." Shepard shrugged. "I dunno; it's just something Dad always did, so it rubbed off on me." Her dad had explained when she was very young that every sniper needed a good weapon they could trust. And if you trust it, you might as well start callin' her by her first name. Me an' Matilda, we go way back. Almost as far back as my old Gracie. Unlike her father, Shepard hadn't thought up a name for her trusty sidearm yet, but she couldn't remember a time when Gracie hadn't been holstered at Ian Shepard's hip.

Vickers sighed as she slipped into the water next to Shepard. "We need to schedule leave like this more often," she said, tilting her head back and sinking down until she was submerged up to her neck.

"I gotta say," Brown commented. "I've missed you guys. My squad's okay, but…"

"You don't have your buddies with you." Shepard understood where Brown was coming from. She was the lone Infiltrator in her unit; no one else quite understood the rush she got from sneaking on the battlefield until she got into a prime position, or just how her patience was rewarded after hours of waiting to get the perfect shot. She had a good sense of camaraderie with her current teammates, but it was nothing like what she had during training with the three she was with now.

"Well, here's to us," Brown said, cracking open a new beer.

"Team Badass," Vickers said, holding up her can.

"The Stealth Squad," Shepard added with a wink.

Henderson grinned. "Silent but deadly."

Shepard groaned. "Seriously, Henderson? Good grief, no wonder you're still single."

He made an affronted noise. "I'm still single because I want to share all this with the laaaaaadies."

Brown rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's why. Sure."

"Speaking of single," Vickers said, sidling closer to Shepard. "I found a guy for you."

Juliana took a sip and covered her mouth to discretely belch. "Who said I needed any help?"

"Come on, you'll like this guy. He's just your type."

"I wasn't aware I had a type."

Brown laughed. "Sure you do. You fall for the classic tall, dark and handsome. I mean, you did date me, after all."

Vickers snickered. "Yeah, but she dumped your ass."

"It was a mutual break-up!"

Shepard splashed them both. "That was years ago. And okay, so I do like guys with dark hair."

"And beards. At least the last two guys you had been seeing had some sort of scruff going on. This guy has all of those traits in spades, Shepard." Vickers reached over and grabbed the flask she had brought along. "And he's a pilot."

"You're kidding. What would a helmsman want with a grunt like me?"

"Well, technically he's just a relief shift and shuttle pilot right now, but that's just because his commanding officer wants to give him some experience before putting him up the ranks. I hear he's a pretty hotshot pilot, graduated best of his class."

"So that's what you were talking about with Joker?" Henderson asked. "He's stationed with my unit right now. Dude, that guy is…"

"He's what?" Shepard asked, curiosity piqued. "And what's up with the nickname?"

"Haven't the foggiest, but he insists on being called by it. He keeps to himself a lot; doesn't really mingle with even the rest of the flight crew. Don't know exactly what's wrong with him, but he walks around with these crutches and he gets really touchy when you ask him about the braces on his legs."

"Maybe he wouldn't be so touchy if you took the time to get to know him instead of asking him point blank about something he's clearly not comfortable talking about," Shepard noted. Turning to Vickers, she arched an eyebrow. "And you say he's cute?"

"Yeah. I met him on the Citadel when I met up with Henderson. He's right; Moreau wasn't much for talking with strangers, but you know me. I eventually wore him down with my legendary charm."

"Charm?" Henderson asked. "I distinctly remember you staring at him until he got pissed and told you to take a holo because it lasts longer."

"Yeah, well at least he didn't tell me Do you mind if I name my first child after you? 'Dipshit Knight' has a nice ring to it, like he did to you."

Juliana sat up straighter. "Wait, he quoted Real Genius at you? I love that movie!"

"See, you two are perfect for each other! Let me send him your omni-tool ID number so you guys can talk old vids."

"I don't know, Vickers," Shepard said dubiously. "I just got out of a relationship and I don't think I'm ready to start seeing anyone right now."

"Then don't see him, just talk and see where it goes from there."

She bit her lip in indecision. "Maybe. Give me a while and I'll let you know."

"Okay, but I'm thinking that you're going to have to move fast on this one. I'd have snatched him up myself if he hadn't been so damned prickly."

"Wow, he's a loner, moody, and a grouch. Way to sell this guy as boyfriend material," Brown said. He would have said something else, but just then, the four of them heard a loud pop. Instinct had them ducking down at the unmistakable sound of gunfire, except Brown was just a little too slow. "Ow." Almost as if in slow motion, blood began to trickle out of a wound high on his shoulder.

"Shit!" Shepard lunged at him, her hands pressing down on either side of the wound while Vickers and Henderson scrambled out of the pool and helped haul Brown out.

"No one move." The four of them stared up at an armed Batarian. "That was my warning shot. You people so much as move a muscle without us telling you to, my next round goes right in his head."

"What should we do with them?" another Batarian asked as he came up the hill towards them.

"What else? We kill the men and take these two in."

Shepard curled her lip up in disgust at the way the pirate was leering at her. "They'll fetch a good price on the slave market," he agreed, bending down to grab her arm and haul her forcibly to her feet. He shoved her towards the first Batarian so he could make a grab at Vickers.

The two women shared a glance. Almost at the same time, they attacked, Shepard jamming her elbow into the Batarian's windpipe while hauling his gun away from Henderson and Brown, Vickers snapping her opponent's neck.

"You picked the wrong people to ambush," Shepard said aiming the gun at her attacker's forehead. Without blinking, she squeezed the trigger.

"We've got to get out of here," Henderson said, getting to his feet and helping Brown up by his good arm. "There's got to be more where these two came from." As if to prove his point, more gunshots could be heard off in the distance. Screams from their fellow resort-goers soon followed.

"Brown, you all right?"

"I got shot in the shoulder; nothing's wrong with my legs, Shepard. Just get me back to the cabin, I brought a small supply of medi-gel with me." He snatched one of the nearby towels and used it as a makeshift bandage.

The four of them ran towards their cabin, locking the door behind them. "Quick, get upstairs and hide in the loft. They're bound to see the bodies and our tracks." She only had enough time to follow them when the sounds of voices could be heard outside.

"Check the cabin. Someone killed these two; I want to find out who did."

Henderson crouched and sidled over until he reached the small oval window overlooking the back of the cabin. His tactical cloak shimmered as he activated it, the window's curtain carefully pulled back as if by an invisible breeze. He gave two quiet taps to the floor to let the others know how many people were outside. Even with the advance warning, Shepard still tensed when the door to their cabin was kicked open.

"Well?"

Footsteps neared the ladder towards the small loft. The four of them held their breath. "No one's here."

"You sure? Check up there!"

"I'm telling you, no one's here. That space isn't big enough for luggage, let alone people."

Loud noises sounded downstairs. "There ain't anyone here either. Checked under the beds, in the closets; the place is clean."

"Then we'll report to the boss and keep sweeping east."

Since she was the closest, Shepard waited a while after the two scouts had left to climb down and see if the coast was clear. Keeping away from the windows, she signaled that it was safe to come down.

"Good thing those idiots didn't look too closely at our gear," Brown said between gritted teeth, rummaging one-handed in his bag. He sighed in relief when Vickers took the medi-gel he had stashed there and applied it to his injury.

"And it's a good thing they didn't think to thoroughly check under the beds," Shepard added, reaching under hers to retrieve her sniper rifle she'd strapped against the slats supporting the box spring mattress. She gave her rifle an affectionate pat. "Isn't that right, Bertha?"

"They said they were doing an eastern sweep," Henderson said. He sat on the floor and pulled up the tourist map they had all downloaded to their omni-tools when they had first checked in. "We're here," he told them, marking their cabin. "And we heard gunfire from here, which means that the bulk of them are probably attacking from this angle."

"Hard to tell in the mountains though," Vickers commented, joining them on the floor. "Could have been an echo we heard. And we've got more bad news; these guys disabled the main communications tower. I tried our radio to call for backup; we got nothin'."

Shepard shook her head. "Damn it. Somehow, I doubt that this resort is full to the brim with civilian police or security guards."

"So, what's the plan, Boss Lady?"

Shepard picked her head up so she could look out the window. So far, they were still in the clear. "Our first objective is to get that communications tower back up and running. Henderson, where on the map is it?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. All I have are the touristy-type attractions."

Vickers' omni-tool flared to life. "The main communications tower should be about ten to twelve miles northwest of here. We might be in the dark with long-range signals, but it looks like short-range omni-tool to omni-tool broadcasting is still working. Uploading the building schematics to everyone's map."

"Okay, what gives?" Henderson opened up his new map. "How did you get this sort of info?"

She smirked. "Like I said, legendary charm. The maintenance guy at the main station is hot, so I sweet talked him into letting me have a copy of the resort's blueprints so I could let him know when and where we could meet up for a little alone time."

Henderson flipped through each of the building's blueprints. "One: good work. Now we can map out vantage points in each of the buildings. Two: Vickers, you hound. And here you call me a horn dog."

Shepard tugged on another layer of leggings before lacing up her boots. "Okay, that's enough. What sort of supplies are we working with?"

"Slim to none. We've got a couple of energy bars, some trail mix, and a few bottles of water." Brown picked up his bag. "There's a full first aid kit, complete with ten rounds of medi-gel if the going gets tough."

"We've got our two new friends' pistols and whatever weapons and armor we brought with us." Luckily, all four of them didn't go anywhere without at least a lightweight suit of armor, their sidearm, and most importantly, their trusty sniper rifles, so at least they were good on that front.

Shepard nodded. "Good. Suit up; we've got some work to do."

Once out of the cabin, the four of them fanned out, taking to the tree line. "Keep in close range, but stay in Reconnaissance Mode," Shepard whispered. "Remember, it's just the four of us against who knows how many. Our main goal is to secure the communications tower, but if we can help any civilians along the way, we help those that we can. No heroics; we do this by the book, got it?"

"Understood."

"Affirmative."

Brown nodded. "Anything else, Shepard?"

"Yeah, we all get out of this alive." She dropped the all-business tone for a brief second. "Next leave we take, we're going to Hawaii."