"To the happy couple!" Jack raised yet another bottle of bourbon for the….well he couldn't quite remember how many he'd had so far that day. After saluting the imaginary pair, he put the bottle to his lips and chugged like a man dying of thirst. In his haste some of the liquor spurted out of his overflowing mouth and onto his tuxedo. Jack didn't bother glancing down at the spill. Jack finished draining the bottle dry before carefully adding the empty container to the row of assorted alcohol he had been lining up along his desk. Only then did he turn his attention to the damp spot on his suit. "That's going to be hell to dry-clean."
"Jack?" The sound of the familiar voice made the captain jerk his head up fastest than was advisable in his current condition. His vision blurred then refocused on a vision of an old friend.
"Doctor? Well this is an unexpected hallucination." The newcomer in the long brown coat frowned.
"No hallucination Jack, I'm really here. Tardis needed a bit of a recharge and I thought I'd pop in, have a bit of a poke around your operation." The Time lord scrutinized the captain's disheveled state. "Are you all right Jack?"
"Me? I'm fine. Hey, where are my manners, would you like a drink?" Jack pulled yet another bottle from his desk drawer. The Doctor watched warily as the captain ripped the cork out with his teeth and unceremoniously spat it across the room.
"No thanks. It looks like you've had more than enough for the two of us already."
Jack shrugged, unrepentant. "What's the point in not having to worrying about liver failure if you can't have some fun now and again. Remind me to thank Rose for that one." The Doctor stiffened at the mention of his former companion's name, but Jack was too occupied taking a swing of his latest bottle to notice. "So how'd you find this place anyway?"
"Martha."
"That's right. How is she?"
"Fine. Happy actually. Certainly seems to doing a bit better than you at the moment."
"Hey Doc, I told you, I'm fine. I'm great. I've got a purpose, a mission. I've got a secret headquarters with a pterodactyl and an invisible lift…" Jack had gotten out of his chair and was gesturing with the hand that was still clutching his liquor bottle.
"And your team?" Jack stopped to stare at the Doctor.
"What about my team?"
"Last time I saw you, you were looking forward to seeing them again."
"Yeah. Yeah I was." Jack took another hefty swallow and then let the bottle dangle dejectedly at his side. Moving cautiously, the Doctor approached the captain and pried the container from his friend's fist. Jack made no move to stop him, his mind seemly having settled on dark thoughts far away from the present.
"So where are they then? I'd love to meet them." The Doctor was using his chipper enthusiastic tone, but his eyes were serious and concerned. Jack found himself unable to meet them.
"They left me." Jack shook his head at his unintended phrasing. "I mean they left me here to monitor the screens in case something pops up." Jack gave another hopeful look at the bank of computers, but like before, nothing unusual had registered. No Weevil sightings. No space trash. No invasion. Nothing. Nada. Zip. A damnable disaster-free day. For the world at large anyway.
"So where are they?"
"At the church." The Doctor raised his eyebrows at the way Jack practically spat out the last word. "One of the team…Gwen, her name is Gwen…is getting married today. In about an hour actually." Jack smiled and forced a laugh. "Imagine, someone in our line of work getting married."
"And you're not going to the wedding?"
"NO." Jack's answer was terse and harsh and so full of anger he even surprised himself. Moderating his tone, he strove to regain his carefree charm. "I mean someone needs be here, in case something goes wrong. The world doesn't stop needing saving just because Gwen Cooper's getting married. I am going to the reception though. Ianto's coming back to take a shift. I'm actually giving a toast. That's what I was doing before you came in, practicing the toast. I'm going to say, 'To the happy couple…'" Jack grin failed him as he looked off into the distance. Then he turned his eyes back to the Doctor. "You know Doctor, it took me a long time but I finally get it."
The Doctor blinked at him confused. "Get what?"
"You. Rose. I get it now. I used to think you were the stupidest genius I'd ever met in my life. I mean there's Rose, with you all the time. Beautiful. Blond. Overall amazing. And most importantly, hugely into you. And I mean big time into you. Like, would have turned me down if I tried anything more than flirting. So when she gave you the openings and you didn't jump on them I just thought, ok maybe she's not his type. But then I knew that couldn't be it. I saw the way looked her, hundreds of times, when she didn't even see you looking. But I saw! The day we caught that slyven. You were spying on her when she left with Mickey. And I didn't interfere, I didn't say anything. But I wondered. I wondered until a few months ago, when I did the same thing myself. It was then I really realized the similarities between our situations. Gwen was there. She was right there in front of me. And I realized in that year of torture and death that I want nothing more from my life than to go back. Than to be with her. To be home. I was ready to tell her too. It was on the tip of my tongue. But I felt the ring. I was too late. She was engaged. She did give me another chance. A last chance. She did. She said, "No one else will have me." I could have said it! I wanted to say it! But I didn't. Because Rhys can give her so much I can't. He can give her sanity. A life outside this. He can marry her. He can grow old with her, die with her in his arms. Better for her. Better for me too. That's what I knew as I watched her walk away with him, my insides burning, twisting with jealousy, betrayal, and despair. You know better than anyone Doc, people like you and me, we were meant to walk alone."
"Jack, owing to the fact you are extremely intoxicated, I am going to forgive you for bringing up a subject I never want to talk about again. But if I understood your ramblings correctly then I am bound as your friend to say something here. Each and every day I regret never telling Rose what she meant to me. Every day. It was my hubris really as a Time Lord, to think there would always be more chances and more time. And I was wrong. I will NEVER have another chance to say the most important words ever invented in any language in all of time and space. Learn from what I lost and tell her. And if you are worried about the future and about time, remember my words, Captain Jack Harkness. All any of us has is right now!"