by Queen of Sarab
Do you want the honest truth?
I was scared out of my bloody freaking mind.
I mean, I love the girl. Telling the girl that you love…well,
that you love her….is so hard, so incredibly hard….even when you have no
soul to be damaged. Or so they say.
It should have been easy. I mean, I'm a bloody vamp- you
'd think I could tell one stupid slayer I love her. She'd loved vamps before-
granted, it was that sniveling bloodsucker with a soul, Angel, but
that's not the freaking point!
It was never so hard with Dru. She just accepted me, accepted
what I did. But no. Little miss Slayer has to go and tell me she doesn't
love me, never has, never will.
I love it when she plays hard to get.
I have to say, that girls got some friends, though. The
Slayerettes are tough little cookies. That night, without telling anyone
where he was going, Xander bloody confronted me. Knowing full well I was
totally capable of easily kicking his ass.
He pushed me. Told me to leave Buffy alone, to let her be.
Said she didn't love me.
Why does everyone bloody keep saying that?!
Maybe she thinks she doesn't love me, but I know she does! Somewhere,
I know that she has feelings for me. Otherwise, why hasn't she killed me
yet? Why the bloody hell not?!
God, I almost want her to. Just because….it would be a resolution.
An ending of some kind. I've been so alone for so long…. Dru's gone, the
Slayer's nearly gone, hell, I even drove off that little twit Harmony.
But Buffy's not gone yet. Not completely. And I know she can love me.
I'll make her love me.