This story I actually wrote on AO3 but I wanted to post it here and see what people think.
And maybe get a bit more reviews than what I get on AO3,
AO3 people don't like to review...
ANYWAY...
ON WITH STORY!
It was a beautiful day outside. There was snow on the ground, kids playing in it, and Sans could honestly say that he was enjoying himself as he joined in with Frisk and their friends.
It was the month of December, and only a week till Christmas. This Christmas would be something special to Sans and all the other monsters. Why, you may ask? This would be the monsters' very first Christmas that would not be celebrated underground.
It has been almost a year since the monsters came from the undergrounds and to say that it was a simple transition would be a lie. At first the humans of the world were terrified and thought this was an act of war, but after Frisk reassured them that it was not the case things calmed down. The kid had become the monsters', unsaid, ambassador and through them things between humans and monsters were slowly making headway.
Humans still feared and some even hated the monsters, but overall, at least to Sans, things were looking bright; literally, since being above ground meant there was the sun. Sans still can remember the way Papyrus stared at the sun when they first came out and he knew that he was staring at it with the same longing look.
After that, Sans and the rest of his close nit friends moved into in a small town together. It wasn't far from Mt. Ebbot and from what Frisk had told them it was where the kid came from. Aside from the information about living in the town, Frisk never said a word about their past life but the monsters never really asked. They were all happy to live with Frisk and they knew the kid loved living with them.
Dodging a snowball that he knew was aimed for him, Sans turned his head around to see Papyrus holding a small monster, one without arms, and both were snickering. The kid must have used his tail to fling the snowball and this was proven when Sans saw snow cling to it.
"So it's everyone against Sans is it? I didn't snow you had it in ya." Sans said as he gathered up some snow in his hand.
"Sorry brother, but snow-one is better than the great Papyrus at snowball fights." Papyrus said as he and the little monster ducked behind a snow fort he had made. The taller skeleton was still not one for his brother's puns, but seeing as it was getting close to the holidays Papyrus decided to give his brother some slack… just a bit.
"Hehe, nice one bro." Sans said as made to throw his snowball but stopped when another one collided with his skull. Shaking the cold mass off his head, Sans turned around to find Frisk standing behind their own fort and giggling. "Oh you're gonna get it now kiddo. Come Here!"
Using one of his 'shortcuts', Sans soon found himself inside Frisk fort and dumping a handful of snow on their head. "I think I won this chilling battle."
The rest of the day was filled with fun times, both in the snow and inside when it got too cold, and the whole time Sans' smile was always there. Which normally wouldn't be anything new but this one seemed genuine and not so much forced. And everyone noticed this. Everyone could see how relaxed Sans was and how, shockingly, he had not disappeared to take a nap the whole day. He was always seen with Frisk, and the child with the skeleton.
It was later in the evening now, the sun having long left and replaced with the full moon, and everyone found themselves in front of the tv watching some Mettaton holiday movie. It wasn't a bad movie but it was not one of the robots bests, in everyone's mind. But they watched it anyway, just for the sere reason of just enjoying everyone's company.
Sans and Frisk lay on the small loveseat, the child sleepily laying atop the other, Toriel was on the couch with Papyrus, Undyne and Alphas sat on the floor with the latter in the first's lap, and everyone was quiet. The movie was almost done and when Toriel turned to check the time she saw how late it really was. Turning to the pair in the loveseat, Toriel was going to say that Frisk should go to bed but the sight before her made her pause.
Sans was still awake, partly, but Frisk had fallen asleep. The child had somehow gotten the skeleton's blue hoodie wrapped around them and the fur rimmed hood was covering half their face; revealing only a closed eye and a pink nose. If Toriel had to sum up this image she would call it nothing but cute and adorable.
"If you want, Sans, I can take Frisk to bed?" Toriel asked and at first she thought Sans must have fallen asleep as well when he didn't respond. Thinking he did, the tall woman moved to pick up the child but when a boney arm wrapped around them Toriel stopped and saw Sans looking up at her with one open eye socket.
"Don't worry about it Tori." Sans said as he wrapped his other arm around Frisk. "The kid's fine. I'll take them to bed once the movie's over."
Nodding her head, Toriel walked back to her seat. Once seated, Papyrus turned to her with a smile and she returned it. Turning their attention back to the movie, everyone enjoyed it silently until the end. After saying goodnights, everyone went to their rooms for the night.
Wanting to make sure Frisk was sleeping well, Toriel walked to the child's door but to her surprise she found it slightly agar. Frisk liked to shut their door at night, everyone knew this, and to see it open was a bit unnerving. Slowly walking up to the door, Toriel peered inside and saw that Frisk was in bed but sitting on the mattress next to them was Sans.
Sans' back was to the door so he didn't see Toriel and he obviously hadn't heard her walk up as he didn't turn to face her. Toriel was confused as to why Sans was still in Frisk's room and was about to walk in but when she heard Sans' voice speak up she paused.
"Had a fun day today, didn't you kiddo." Sans said softly. "Worked yourself to the bone with all that playing. Heh, I'll emit it, it was kind of fun. I bet she would have loved playing in the snow with you."
'She?' Toriel thought. 'Who is Sans talking about?'
Toriel knew it was impolite to eavesdrop on private conversation, but her curiosity got the best of her. So she stayed where she was and silently continued to listen.
"I bet she would have loved you." Sans continued. "I can't be for certain but… she seemed like she would have been a sweet kid, like you. I bet you two would have been the best of friends. Maybe… you would have seen her as a sibling? I don't know, maybe it's just me being sentimental, but I would like to think you would."
The more Sans talked the more Toriel became confused. Who was Sans referring to? Toriel took a guess it was some girl, from all the gender references, and that it was someone young, but that was all she was getting. Sans had always been a cryptic speaker to begin with but this just confused Toriel to no end.
"… I miss her, a lot, and I didn't even get the chance to get to know her." Sans said and Toriel could make out a faint blue glow coming from him. "Maybe this is my punishment, for not wanting her the first go. It has to be. I was too afraid of getting attached to someone I thought wouldn't be there that I pushed the gift away. Maybe I'm meant to be bonely, I don't know anymore.
"But then there's you. Even after all the things I did to you, genocide after genocide, death after death, you still opened your heart to me. Maybe this is my redemption, where I couldn't be there for her, I can be there for you." By now the blue light was no longer faint and was growing in intensity. Toriel was confused as to where this light was coming from but she did not move. Though she was slightly concerned about what Sans was saying, something told her he was not going to harm Frisk. So she continued to listen.
"You may not be my kid, kiddo," Sans said as he raised a hand and rested it on Frisk's head. "But I see nothing stopping me from treating you like you are… sleep well Frisk."
It was at that moment that the hand that Sans had on Frisk's head blew up in this blue glowing flame. At first Toriel was shocked and had to do everything in her power to not gasp aloud, but when she saw that the flame wasn't harming Frisk, but in fact that the child was leaning into the touch, she calmed herself.
Seeing that Sans didn't appear to be leaving Frisk at the moment, Toriel decided to go to bed. She knew Sans wouldn't harm Frisk, but with everything he had said to the resting child it made her cautious.
She would ask Papyrus about this in the morning, she decided, maybe he would know what Sans had wanted to keep secret with the sleeping Frisk.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Morning came and like always the house was in a hustle and bustle. People were moving all over, getting breakfast and ready for the day, and Toriel wondered how no one was ever late for whatever it was they had to do during the day. The kitchen was always the center of the storm every morning and Toriel always took it upon herself to make breakfast.
After having lived with this, albeit weird, family Toriel knew what everyone liked in the morning better than anyone else.
Undyne preferred tea and oatmeal or scrambled eggs, Alphas would always have cereal, Papyrus (though he was a pasta fanatic) was given pancakes or French toast, Frisk enjoyed everything and anything under the sun, and Sans was pretty much the same as long as it had ketchup with it. Toriel herself would have coffee most of the time with some toast with jam.
So after making sure everyone was fed, well those who were up, Sans and Frisk were still in bed, Toriel sat down at the table with Papyrus who was the only one at the table. Undyne and Alphas had already left for work and that left the skeleton and the goat woman alone at the table.
Papyrus didn't have to be at work till later in the day, since working at a local mall as a security guard his hours varied, and it gave Toriel enough time to talk to the taller skeleton. Taking a sip of her coffee, Toriel looked at the skeleton and found him quietly enjoying his meal but in his hand he held a book… a dating book.
"Got a date?" Toriel asked, but she kind of already had an idea to her answer.
"Yes, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, do indeed have a date. In a couple of days Mettaton is taking me out to someplace special, he said that I would enjoy myself. So I am just making sure I study up on how the perfect date should go." Papyrus said as he continued to read the book.
Giggling to herself, Toriel set down her coffee and took a bite of her toast. Of course it would be Mettaton that was taking Papyrus out on a date. It was obvious that the skeleton loved the robot star, and even though the robot was a bit self-centered it also showed that Mettaton cared for Papyrus.
"Sounds fun… can I ask you something Papyrus?" Toriel responded, knowing it was now or never. Especially when Sans could wake up at any moment.
"Of course, your Majesty! What can I, The Great Papyrus, do for you?" Papyrus asked as he set his book down.
"… I overheard Sans talking to Frisk last night. Frisk was asleep so they didn't hear him, which is why I think he was talking to them, but Sans… said something that made me curious." Toriel said and when Papyrus did not say anything she continued. "He never said a name but I believe he was talking of a girl and with the way he was speaking of her it sound as if something happened to her. I was wondering if… if maybe you knew something on this matter?"
Papyrus stayed silent, a silence that worried Toriel, especially with the sad and forlorn look the skeleton had on his face. He also appeared to be deep in thought about what Toriel said and Toriel was about to say to simply forget about it and that it wasn't her business, but Papyrus beat her to it.
"I never thought my brother would bring her up again," Papyrus said quietly, as if on guard for his brother to come in right at that moment. "It… was a sad thing that happened with my brother and it happened rather quickly, but time does not really matter with pain."
"Did he loose someone close to him?" Toriel asked. "Like a girlfriend or something?"
"Oh, no, nothing like that." Papyrus said as he shook his head. "Sans has never been one for… relationships. I honestly can say I have only seen his go on a handful of dates, even I, The Great Papyrus, have gone on more than my brother has."
At this hearing this it confused Toriel even more. Papyrus was the younger of the two brothers, despite his height, and Toriel somehow thought of Sans as being the womanizer. She thought he would have had a ton of girlfriends, a skele-ton, but here was Papyrus chopping down the idea of Sans loosing someone like that.
"So if it wasn't a girlfriend, was it just someone special? A good friend?" Toriel asked, she knew she was being a bit nosy but she was honestly curious about this matter.
"It was indeed someone special… very special to Sans." Papyrus said as he turned away. "But I am afraid your Majesty that it is not my place to talk about Lucida."
'Lucida, so that was the name behind his mystery girl' Toriel thought to herself. It wasn't much, since Papyrus wasn't going to talk about her, but at least Toriel had come out of this conversation with a name. Though the look on Papyrus' face told the goat woman that it was by accident.
"Uh… Forget you ever heard that name!" Papyrus shouted as he stood up. "I, uh, have to go. I need to be at work early today. Have a great day your Majesty."
And with that Toriel was left alone at the table as Papyrus made a quick dash to his room. As she watched the skeleton leave, her eyes caught the forms of Sans and Frisk walking into the room. Well, Sans was walking in with Frisk in their arms and they still had his jacket on.
"What's up with Papyrus?" Sans asked as he came to the table and placed Frisk in a chair. "He looks like someone scared him right out of his skin."
"Oh, it was nothing." Toriel said, not even laughing at the pun. "I was just asking him a question when he realized he was going to be late for work."
"Oh… You okay? You look like you a bit frazzled tibia honest." Sans said, and even though it was with a pun it was obvious he was concerned.
"I-I am fine." Toriel lied. "I am… just overthinking somethings."
"Okay, if you say so." Sans said as he walked over to the coffee pot and poured him a glass.
Thanking the skeleton silently for not pushing the matter, Toriel turned to Frisk with a warm smile. "And what would you like this morning, my child?"
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
The next few days were like walking on egg shells with Toriel and Papyrus. Whenever the two were in the same room they would share a look that would tell that something was bothering them, but for two different reasons.
After so many encounters though Toriel noticed that Papyrus was now outright trying to avoid her in any way he could. The only times he couldn't were at meals and when the house had family nights. Family nights usually involved either playing a few games or some tv/movie time before bed, and even during those times Papyrus barely spoke a word to Toriel.
And it was not just Toriel who was starting to notice this.
It was just after everyone was getting ready for bed when Toriel overheard them. She had been passing in the hallway when she passed Papyrus' room, and from the voices coming from inside it Sans was in there as well. Toriel would have just marked it off as Sans reading his brother a bedtime story and continued on her way, but when he name was mentioned she stopped.
"Hey Pap, why have you been avoid Tori?" Sans voice came from behind the door. "And don't lie to me that you're not, it obviously that you are."
There was a moment of silence and Toriel began to wonder if Papyrus would say anything at all but when his voice came up she got her answer.
"… She overheard you." Papyrus said quietly.
"Overheard me? Overheard me say what? Did I say something that upset the two of you, 'cause if I did you guys have to throw me a bone so I know and can apologize." Sans said, a hint of worry in his tone.
"No, no, Sans it is nothing like that… Toriel just overheard you talking with Frisk a couple of nights ago and… she heard you talking about… her." Papyrus said and Toriel really felt uncomfortable listen to this conversation, especially when Sans didn't speak up for what seemed like the longest time. She was about to leave when Sans spoke again.
"… D-Did you tell her anything?" Sans asked and if Toriel didn't know any better she thought it sounded like he was crying.
"No, she asked me about it and I told her it was not my place." Papyrus said softly. "… I honestly never thought you would bring her up again, even if it was when the human was asleep."
Again, a moment of silence from Sans.
"… Yeah… Frisk got me thinking about her lately." Sans spoke softly, soft sobbing mixed with it. "Thanks for not, you know, telling Toriel…"
"Brother, I know this is a sensitive subject with you but… Maybe you should talk to Toriel." Papyrus said. "Maybe she can… help you move past this. I know you don't like to talk about it, even with me, but you have to talk about it sometime. Keeping it bottle up is not healthy."
Sans didn't speak again, even longer this time, and Toriel thought that maybe he was too angry to speak but yet again she was proven wrong when his voice came up silently.
"You won't leave this only unless I do it, right?" Sans asked and Toriel had to guess that Papyrus gave him a nod because the other skeleton never spoke again. "… Fine, I'll talk to Toriel about it. I'll… find some time to pull her aside and tell her."
"Thank you brother, it hurts me seeing you in such pain." Papyrus finally spoke and at this point Toriel finally decided to continue on her way to her room.
Though she now knew she would get the answers she was seeking, she knew that the brothers needed some time alone without her listening in on their conversation.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
It was no longer just Papyrus avoid Toriel now. Sans had joined in the evasion game but where Papyrus was sly about it, saying he had to go do something, Sans was more blunt. The moment Toriel walked into a room that Sans was in he would quickly get up and speedily walk away, and if that wasn't possible he would use one of his 'short-cuts' and be gone from his spot in a blink of an eye. This confused Toriel, somewhat, but she knew that Sans would come to her in time. He had a promise to keep to his brother and Sans didn't make many promises, but the ones he did he kept to the best to his abilities.
About a week had passed and still Sans didn't come to her. Toriel was beginning to wonder if the skeleton would ever talk to her. Right now Toriel was sitting in the living room, reading a book, and enjoying the silence the night offered. Everyone had turned in early but Toriel couldn't sleep. He mind refused to shut down for the night so the only thing she could think of was to read.
Turning the page in her book, Toriel almost didn't register the movement on the other side of the couch, but when something caught the corner of her vision she turned to find what it was. Sitting next to her, with their gaze to the floor, was Sans. He was dressed in his normal shorts and tank-top but his jack was missing. His hands sat in his lap, gripping his shorts tightly, and his eye sockets were shut just as tight. It looked like it took every ounce of will power for Sans to sit down next to the goat woman and not make a quick getaway.
"So... Pap told me something a couple of days ago." Sans voice was low, lower than normal, and it was very quiet. "He said that you overheard something."
Closing her book, Toriel nodded with a sad expression. "I didn't mean to snoop, I had just been passing by and I... was curious."
Sans didn't respond. He still wasn't looking at Toriel and she was starting to wonder if he was angry with her. Hearing a sigh come from the skeleton Toriel watched as the grip Sans had on his shorts lessened and he slowly turned to face her. The white dots that equaled as Sans' pupils were so small and Toriel could swear she saw in the corner of his sockets the beginning form of tears.
"I'm not mad Tori," Sans said. "but the things you overheard are... some things I don't like to bring up. The only reason I said it to Frisk was because the kid was out cold and... I just needed to get some things off my chest."
"If you do not wished to talk about it, I understand. I was in the wrong to eavesdrop and it is not my place to make you speak about something that is clearly troubling to you." Toriel said as she went to stand up, but was stopped when Sans' hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.
"No, I mean... I think I need to talk about this." Sans said and his grip on Toriel grew tight. "I have kept quiet about this for so long and it would be nice to have someone in the loop besides Frisk."
Slowly nodding her head, Toriel continued to sat seated and waited for Sans to speak. She would not rush him in this, she would be patient, and allow him to take his time. A few moments passed in silence with Sans still holding Toriel's wrist but when the skeleton pulled his hand back the silence was cut.
"Before I talk about... you need to understand a few things first." Sans said as he lowered his head into his hands. "You see, this isn't the first time we've been to the surface..."
And from there Sans spun the tale of the resets and how Frisk was able to pretty much control time. He told Toriel of how Chara took control of Frisk's mind and body and made them do the genocide runs and how he... stopped her countless times. Sans was kind of surprised when Toriel didn't jump at him for pretty much emitting to killing her child many times, but he just chalked it up to that she was still processing everything. Sans continued on to talk about how he found out about Chara controlling Frisk and how the two secretly worked together to obliterate the evil spirit and free Frisk. And then he finished with how this had been the longest time since a reset and it looked as though it was the last.
Toriel for her part stayed silent through the whole thing. At first she had a feeling that Sans was making this up, but when he brought up the name Chara she froze. That was one name she thought she would never hear again. And with what Sans told her about Frisk and Chara... she slowly found herself believing him.
After Sans had finished talking, the two found themselves in a thick silence. Sans being quiet for the sake of letting Toriel absorb everything and Toriel was for the reason she was still processing it. Once the skeleton thought that she had enough time to let this information to sink in, Sans spoke again.
"Now that is out of the way... I guess we can move on to the actual reason I'm here." Sans said as he rubbed the back of his skull. "Most restarts always went back a certain time, but it wasn't always the same. Usually time would restart about a day or two, maybe three, but... there was this one time it went back a whole month."
"A month?" Toriel finally spoke. "Why that far back?"
"Don't know, never did and probably never will." Sans said with a soft chuckle. "But it did. I usually know how far back a reset would go because I had this calendar up in my room and I always circled the days. Well, after this one reset, I woke up and found that the whole month was clear of circles. At first I was concerned, but me being the lazybones that I am just thought it had to do something with Frisk or maybe that annoying flower. So I went about my day like normal. I worked with Pap and napped around but... something about this day was different than most."
"What made this reset different?" Toriel asked.
"Well... a stranger came to Snowdin." Sans said and Toriel could make out the light blue blush forming on his cheekbones. "I was chilling out at Grillby's when he came into the bar. He was dressed nice, a bit too nice honestly, but what really caught my attention was that he was a skeleton. It had been a while since I had seen another skeleton besides Papyrus, so seeing this random guy walking into Grillby's kind of shocked me. Most skeletons lived in the capital, because they don't really care for the cold, so seeing this guy interested me.
"He saw me and I guess he was just as surprised. He joined me up at the bar and we started talking. Turns out he was a lawyer from the capital coming to talk with a client before there court date. It explained why he was dressed in that fancy suit... he was really nice, he even laughed at the corny pun I made with his name." Sans said as his smile softened and the blush grew more, he looked to be off in a fond memory.
"What was his name?" Toriel asked.
"Yu, Yu Gothic." Sans said and Toriel couldn't suppress the laughter that came from her. What was it with skeletons and naming their children after fonts? "Yeah, I know. I did a knock knock joke with his name and he nearly fell off the stool he was sitting on. He said he had never heard that one before."
Sans grew silent a moment and Toriel could see the pained look in his expression. Though he was still smiling, it looked sad and like he was regretting something. She wanted to reach out to Sans but something told her not to.
"So we talked some more, we talked for so long that we were the last ones to leave Grillby's before it closed." Sans said as he rubbed the palm of his left hand, like he was feeling or remembering a touch from someone. "He... he said he wanted to talk to me some more, see more of me."
Now, Toriel was no dummy so she knew what that actually meant when this Yu fellow said he wanted to see more of Sans. She wasn't going to judge Sans, he was her friend, and for monsters there were all types of gender relationships. And if Sans sought the comfort of another male skeleton, who was she to say no?
"He said he had a room at the Inn and asked if I wanted to join him." Sans said with a far off look in his sockets. The blue blush had yet to leave his face and Toriel thought it was a lovely shade on Sans. "I told him I would but that it would probably be better if he went in without me. Snowdin was a small town and word spread faster than the snowfall, and I didn't need Papyrus hearing about this."
At this Toriel frowned. Sans was always looking out for his brother and it was more than obvious he loved Papyrus and here he was saying that he didn't want his little brother hearing bad things about him. This time, Toriel did reach out for Sans and placed a hand on his shoulder. This caught Sans by surprise and when he looked up at Toriel he saw the gentle smile on her.
"Papyrus would never think less of you Sans. He loves you far too much to stop loving you, just like I know you do for him." Toriel said softly.
Sans was silent a moment but with a small nod and smile he leaned into Toriel's touch. "Thanks Tori."
The goat woman only nodded and went quiet; waiting for Sans to continue.
"Well... either way, we ended up in his room. And I have to say it was... nice, after so many resets it was nice to just have a night to myself and enjoy my own person moment." Sans said and to keep his pride he didn't go deep into the details. "I guess I must have passed out 'cause the next thing I know is that I am alone in the room. Yu left a note saying how it was nice meeting me and how he enjoyed having me over and how if he ever found himself in Snowdin again he would look for me. I wasn't shocked by this, he did say he was leaving in the morning, but... I don't know, I guess I had hoped I would at least get to see him leave.
"But I knew I shouldn't get attached to someone I just met. Who knew when the next reset would happen and who's to say it would even go back this far again." Sans continued on but Toriel could see the hurt look in his eye sockets. He obviously had like this Yu character and it made Toriel want to find this monster and rip him apart for just leaving Sans with nothing but a note. "So I went about my days like normal. I circled the days on my calendar, counting down the days till Frisk would come, and just waited. I will say that it was nice to just relax without having to worry about the kid and stuff.
"But as the days passed, I started to feel... off. I can't really describe it other than that I had a bad feeling in my bones. It was like there was this heaviness in my body, my soul, and no matter what I did it would go away. After the first week of it I just ignored it, thinking it was probably just something that would go on its own, but as the weeks kept coming the feeling didn't leave. In fact it got worse." Sans said as he rubbed his sternum.
"What was it?" Toriel asked.
"... I bet you can guess, for obvious reasons, that skeletons aren't made in the normal means like most monsters." Sans said quietly, his hand still on his chest. "You see, when one skeleton loves another one a lot they doing this special thing called soul mingling."
Toriel nodded, she wasn't very educated with skeleton biology but she knew enough that soul mingling was pretty much the only way a skeleton could really be intimate with anyone. All monsters could do it, but skeletons used soul mingling far more than any other. Soul mingling was tricky though, mingle too little and you didn't get the desired effect, mingle too much and you... could get some side effects.
And now that she thought on it, with what Sans was saying it meant that... oh... oh. Surely he didn't mean that?
"You mean that you... you had a..." Toriel tried to spit it out but the words wouldn't come. Thankfully Sans saw this and gave his friend a reassuring smile before speaking for her.
"A new soul forming from mine? Yeah, I did." Sans said like it was the most normal thing in the world but the look he had on him told Toriel he had been just as shocked when it happened. "I didn't know this though until... well, until it was time. It had started out like a boring day, Pap had me at my station to watch out for humans, but during the whole time I had this uncomfortable pain. It started out like nothing, just a twinge, but as the day progressed it escalated. By the afternoon it was now a constant throbbing in my soul and I was kind of concerned. I figured I was coming down with something so I left Pap a note and went home.
"When I got there the pain had subsided for the moment and I took it upon myself to go to my room and rest. Maybe a good rest would make this pain go away, I thought, but as it got darker out it didn't. By now I am in bed and I am sweating bullets, and being the bonehead I was I just stayed in my room to wait it out. It was around midnight when Papyrus had finally had enough of my screaming I guess and came storming into my room." Sans said, his hand now gripping the shirt over his chest.
"I told him to just leave me alone and that I was just having a bad time with this cold or whatever it was. But Pap wouldn't have that. He told me to sit up so he could get a look at me and when I did I guess Papyrus saw something. The next thing I know is that Pap is tearing my shirt off and when I look down at my chest I see my soul shaking and flickering. To say I was scared out of my bones would be an understatement." Sans spoke softly but Toriel could hear the shaking in it. "Papyrus being Papyrus didn't know what was going on but I did. And the very first thing that went through my mind was how could I stop this?"
At this Toriel inwardly cringed. Sans didn't want the new soul, and had wondered how to get rid of it. Part of her could understand why Sans was thinking this, but the other part was furious with him. Every new soul, new life, was precious and should be cared for and loved.
"But I was already too far into this to stop it." Sans said and by now a small trail of blue tears began to fall down his face. "And before I know what do to a new soul is splitting from mine. It took a moment for it to settle but soon a body took shape. They were so small looking when Papyrus wrapped them up in my jacket that I thought they would just disappear in it. Papyrus was curious about what just happened but I could tell he was ecstatic about being an uncle... I can't say the same thing for me though."
Toriel could sense Sans was trying to calm himself down but it did him no good. Tears were now falling down profusely and his body was wracked with shaking, simply put Sans looked really beat.
"I told Pap to take it away. I didn't want to look at it." Sans said as he wrapped his arms around himself. "I didn't want to get attached to someone I knew would be gone by the next reset so I pushed them away. Papyrus was shocked at first and after another failed attempt to get me to hold the kid he walked out of my room. The rest of the night I was undisturbed but the image of that kid never left my mind. All I could see was them and something deep in me told to go to them; just hold them and never let go. But I knew that if I got attached to it now that it would only hurt more when a reset happened... so I did the only thing I could think of.
"I walked down to the living room to find the kid in a makeshift crib Pap had made for it. It had blankets wrapped all around it and it looked to be resting peacefully." Sans said closing his eye sockets. "They had this little pink bow on their skull that I guess Papyrus had tied to them I guess, so I figured out their gender rather quickly. Sometimes I wonder if that made it easier or harder to do what I was about to do. Picking them up, I took a shortcut I knew would take me to the capital. Once there I made my way to this orphanage I had seen once. I figured that they... she would be safe there. At least until the next reset and then they wouldn't..."
By this point Toriel was crying softly herself. She didn't know whether to be angry with Sans or to feel sorry for him. Deep down he wanted to love the child, but he was afraid of losing her to a reset that he was pushing her away. Without thinking, Toriel pulled Sans into a hug didn't let him go. Sans didn't push away, but once in Toriel's embrace the floodgates fell and tears he had been holding back flew out from him.
"I didn't want to Toriel, but... I gave her a name." Sans said through sobs. "I at least wanted to have known he enough to say her name... Lucida."
Toriel said nothing, just continued to hold onto Sans. This had not been what she was expecting to hear but none the less she was here for Sans.
"After that I left and went home. When Papyrus woke up he was furious with me and refused to talk to me for a couple of days, but you know Papyrus, he can't stay quiet for long." Sans said, his head resting against Toriel's shoulder. "And it wasn't long before Frisk came back and everything went like normal. Chara was in control this time so... yeah. The reset happened, Chara wanting another go at killing everyone, but something happened Tori."
"What happened?" Toriel asked, hopefulness thick in her voice.
"When this reset happened it was back to normal. Two days before Frisk would come. I woke up with Papyrus banging on my door to wake up." Sans said quietly. "For a moment I wanted to cry, cry for the kid I had now lost twice. But I knew I had to go on like nothing happened, or I would worry Papyrus. So I did, I put on a smile and went on like I was fine. But when Frisk came something felt weird. When I found time to get away from everyone I manifested my soul and... I nearly died at what I saw.
"T-The kid, I don't know how, but... it reset with me." Sans said as he hugged Toriel harder. "Some how when the reset happened it sent them back to me."
"That's good than," Toriel said with a smile. "That means you had someone who would always be there with you."
"... I wish I had thought of it like that Tori." Sans said as he suddenly pushed away from Toriel and sat on the other side of the couch.
"Sans? What's wrong, what happened?" Toriel asked, sensing something bad.
"... Please don't hate me Toriel, but... I couldn't stand the fact that I would just end up bring that kid into this world and just dumping them off on the orphanage's doorstep." Sans said as he pulled his legs to his chest and tried to make himself as small as possible. "I just... I just could stand to see their face again. So I... I... I..."
Toriel found herself placing a hand over her mouth. Sans couldn't mean that he... no, he couldn't. Sans was always against taking anyone's life, even the most evilest of a person. But...
"You didn't. Please tell me I am just overreacting and that you did not do what I am thinking you did."
But Sans didn't respond, he didn't even look at Toriel and by now Sans eye sockets were completely black. Sobbing uncontrollably, Sans' left socket suddenly burst with blue flames that kissed at the tears that fell from him.
"I regret it every time I did it Tori!" Sans sobbed. "But every time there was a reset, she was always there next to my soul. And I couldn't take it, I couldn't live knowing I would see her face and then just watch it disappear again! So in my mind at the time I figured it was a better option. If she had to disappear it would be better by my hands than by a reset."
Toriel couldn't speak. This was something a lot of monsters were against. To... to terminate a life was ghastly and from what Sans said he had done it every time there was a reset... "Oh God... Sans..."
Toriel wanted to smack Sans, hit him till he had some sense, but that isn't what she did. Pulling the skeleton close to her, Toriel again hugged Sans. Sans was shocked by Toriel's sudden hug and fought to escape her hold but couldn't. When he finally calmed down to see that she wasn't going to hurt him, Sans looked up at Toriel to see that she was crying too.
"Oh Sans, I don't have any words to express how I feel but... I am so sorry how you had to live through that." Toriel finally spoke and it only made Sans already crumbling walls fall more. Even after telling her all he did, Toriel was still wanting to comfort Sans.
For some time the two just sat there on the couch, sobbing, but soon Sans spoke up with a faint smile on his face.
"Y-You want to know something?" Sans said as he looked up at Toriel. "The last reset... I kept her."
"What?" Toriel asked with a confused look. "But then where-"
"She didn't make it." Sans interrupted. His expression looked exhausted but he still had a smile on his face, though it looked forced. "After finally free Frisk from Chara, we did one last reset so everyone would be alive and make it to the surface. And like always... she came back. This time though, I let her stay. I figured, since now that we would be go to the surface once Frisk came back... I could finally have her and not be afraid to lose her. Frisk came and after their first day in the underground nothing happened.
"I was a bit worried but I didn't question it. The kid could come out whenever they wanted and I didn't think about it. But when I felt the pain something about it felt off. I had happened to be out with Frisk in the capital when the pain started so I knew I had time. But as the night progressed I knew something was up. I managed to make it home just in time to collapse on the couch. This pain was different, it felt more like someone was shredding my soul into piece and not the splitting feeling like last time." Sans grew quiet for a moment. the blue flame in his left socket slowly dimming.
"Papyrus was home so when he came downstairs and found me laying there he became worried. I told what was happening and he nearly had a heart attack, well if he had a heart he would." Sans said with a light chuckle but it died down quickly. "He helped me through it like the first time and when the new soul split from mine I saw something. The new soul was flickering in and out and before I knew what was happening it just... disappeared."
By now Sans was crying again and Toriel couldn't blame him. After all those resets and being afraid of losing the child, the one time Sans wanted it and ended up losing it anyways.
"I don't remember how long I cried that night, but Papyrus stayed with me through it all." Sans said quietly, the blue flame now gone. "The next morning he asked if I wanted to talk about it.. about Lucida, but I told him no. I asked him to not bring it up and act like nothing happened. Surprisingly Papyrus did as I asked and well... here we are."
"Oh Sans, I am so sorry." Toriel said as Sans slowly sat up and looked up at her. "I can't imagine what it is like to go through something like that."
"It's alright Tori." Sans said with a shrug. "It... it can't be helped. At least I can say I did get to see her face once."
Suddenly Sans stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. His expression said he was fine and dandy, but his body language didn't. He was slouched over, shoulders slack, and with how bad his knees were shaking it was a surprise he was still standing. Walking over to the hallway, Stands stopped just before it but did not turn back to Toriel.
"Thanks... for listening. It means a ton."
"A skele-ton?" Toriel asked, trying to lighten the mood and was grateful for the soft chuckle from Sans.
"Yeah, a skele-ton... Night Tori." and with that Sans walked down the hall and left Toriel on the couch.
Neither would know it, but once each finally did go to bed, the two would each fall asleep to the sound of their own tears.
Well there is the end of the first chptr.
Review please,
I want to see what people think of this story.
As always,
Girl Supersonicboy OUT!