Fade To Black
Summary: Paige
reflects on her scorned relationship with Jack.
Pairing: Paige
Conners/Jack Withrowe.
Rating: PG-13.
William Henley once wrote, "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul."
I always wondered whether he was a con man himself.
We control our destiny, our lives. We beseech those unworthy of our presence, and disillusion their minds.
He was my poison.
I loved him.
One who's selfish and manipulative shouldn't be allowed to love. We shouldn't be allowed to care.
I fell victim to his prey.
Another night passed, and Jack doesn't sleep by my side. I wallow within my self deprivation, anticipating the day that I can face my fears.
Linda spoke of another woman recently. I should have realized that eventually he would move past our relationship.
"Why
didn't you go?"
"My friends have this theory that I'm
in love with you."
I pray he doesn't whisper sweet nothings into her ear, reassuring her that everything will work out. I'm a fool to think that those solemn vows were all spoken in retrospect to our love for each other.
For a long time, I thought our attraction to one another was pure lust. I'd never met a man who didn't want to sleep with me, all the while being married to my mother. Jack was my first, my only. I will never feel for another human being the way I feel for him.
"I don't
know what happened. It was weird."
"There is only one
man in the world."
I haven't spoken to my mother since that fateful night. I know her intentions were purely business, as usual, but it doesn't erase the anger and resentment I feel every time I think of her, of all I've done for her.
I'm living in a fool's paradise if I believe that Jack will ever come back to me. He finally is living the American dream as he told me so long ago.
No matter how many miles we travel, no many how many slights we may ever feel from one another, there was and always will be a connection between us--and it will never be broken.