Words Not Spoken Are Filled with Regrets by Luvscharlie
Warnings: None really. Catelyn's a bit bitchy, but we see that in canon some as well, so nothing new there. Set during episode one as Ned is set to leave with Robert and go back to serve as Hand.
A/N: Originally written for a drabble challenge for Team Lannister at Throneland on Live Journal where the challenge was to write a drabble between 100 and 500 words based on the Rudyard Kipling quote below.
Now this is the Law of the Jungle—as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back—
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
- The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling
Catelyn wants nothing more than for Jon to leave. To go with Benjen to the Wall and take his life's vow. To leave Winterfell and not return. Ned thinks he's too young yet, still just a boy. He wants to wait until next year, to send Jon after he returns from King's Landing. Ned will feel better if Jon is here standing beside Robb in his absence, should Robb need him.
She doesn't accept that. If Ned's leaving, the least he can do is send the bastard somewhere she won't have to see him. She's endured him too long. The Wall is as good a place as any. She will be here if Robb needs someone. Ned wants the girls to go with him, but they belong to her. They're herdaughters and she wasn't ready to let them go. She can't stop her husband from following their foolish King and doing his bidding; Ned was strong-willed and headstrong that way. But she'll be damned if he's taking her children.
Catelyn got her wish, in part. On the day Ned takes her daughters and heads to King's Landing, Benjen Stark takes Jon Snow to the Wall. She won't have to look at the product of her husband's indiscretion any longer. Each child takes its direwolf, and Catelyn has the sinking feeling that her family will never again be complete. She almost throws herself at her husband's feet and begs him to change it all. She'll even keep the bastard if he'll but leave her girls.
But that's not how the Lady of Winterfell is meant to behave. She holds her tongue so as not to embarrass her husband in front of his King, his hero.
And each day hence, she wishes she'd found her tongue. A bit of embarrassment would have been a small price to pay to save her family… even the bit of family she never wanted.