The Adventures Roy, Marth, Link.
By: Addicted to Addiction
Assassin: My first fic. I am new to this Fan Fiction thing so any constructive criticism would be great. Also If you like this pilot I will continue to make new shows. As for now, I must do some sort of disclaimer...Marth, disclaim.
Marth: Do what?
Assassin: I don't know...let's go throw up!
Marth: Ok!
Roy: Assassin owns nothing, cept...well ok, nothing.
Camera opens to Marth sitting on the couch reading Seventeen Magazine, Roy is spying on him from down the hall.
"Hey Marth I have a question for you and please don't get offended. Okay?" Said Roy
"Sure Roy go ahead, anything to help clear your crazy little mind for any clarity what so ever I'll do." Said Marth.
"Are you really a girl hiding under a male body that got a sex change and had a surgery to take off your breasts and replaced them with manly ones and had to take on a whole new life style?" Roy said insanely fast causing Marth to stare at him blankly.
"Roy…yes!" said Marth, Roy stood there for a second gasping for air and muttering almost unconsciously. "Oh course not Roy I am a man. You're an idiot Roy that hurts; I bust my back all the time to keep a roof over your sick, perverted, pyromaniac and psychotic ass and this is what I get?" Said an upset Marth who then buried his head into the magazine, he was so angry at Roy and yet he lets him stay in his house includes him in everything and Roy takes advantage of him.
"Hey Marth I am sorry, I'll make it up to you, wanna go throw up?" said a truly sorry Roy.
"Let's do it!" said Marth jumping up from the couch running toward the bathroom.
Camera cuts to Link walking up to Marth and Roy's place, and just lets himself in like it was his house.
"Guys where are you?" Link called out loud, as he walks into the kitchen hears disturbing sounds coming from down the hall. "What the hell was that? Oh crap their doing it without me, I told them to wait." Said Link running down the hall frantically, then he sees the bathroom door and slowly opens it. "Why aren't you waiting for me, I love to throw up too!" said Link sticking his finger down his throat.
(A few seconds later)
Camera cuts to the three of them sitting on the couch flipping through the channels, a very quiet setting, until Roy broke the silence.
"Marth put it back on the Terminator, I love that movie." Roy asked politely.
"I don't think so Roy, not after what happened last time we watched Terminator. Remember?" Said Marth.
(Camera cuts to a flash back of all three of them sitting on the couch watching the Terminator)
"Hey, is Arnold Schwarzenegger gay?" asked a curious Roy.
"No, I think he is a transsexual or something?" said Link.
"No, no he's British or Iraqi?" said Marth. Roy gasped and look around nervously.
"Do you know what that means Arnold is a…TERRORIST!" said Roy. Suddenly The Terminator jumps through the wall with two machine guns in his hand.
"Which one of you is Roy?" asked the Terminator aiming his gun at them.
"That's Roy over there" said Roy pointing to the T.V.
"Oh thanks." Said the Terminator, and with that he turned toward the television and shot it repeatedly until he was completely out of ammo. "I must get to the chopper now!" said The Terminator.
(Camera cuts back to them sitting at the couch)
"Ugh! Don't remind me." Said Roy, "I have finally come up with a plot for this pilot, let's find us a bigger apartment with an extra room so Link can move in with us." Finished Roy.
"Well that's a great idea, which would give Link the opportunity to get a job and mature a little." Marth commented, "But its Link's decision Roy, he has to decide." Finished Marth.
"You guys that's all I ever wanted was to always be with you, all the time" Said Link in a thankful emotional way. Suddenly Arnold Schwarzenegger jumps through the window and just lies on the ground motionless.
"Holy crap, it's a…Jehovah's Witness, get the bats!" Said Roy jumping up and running down the hall. "Help us Jesus, help!" screamed Roy.
(Camera cuts to Jesus)
"Yeah I'd bet you want my help, huh Roy. You want Jesus to save you from a Jehovah, well you know what, I am wasted right now so ha!" Said Jesus holding a bottle of Daniels Jack Whiskey. "Now where was I? Oh that's right I was just about to faint." Said Jesus as he fainted onto the floor.
(Camera cuts back to Marth and Link standing over Arnold)
"Is he dead? Should I poke him with something?" asked Link.
"He's dead Link, call an ambulance." Said Marth, when suddenly Arnold sat up and looked around.
"Ugh, that hurt but thankfully those glass shards didn't kill me, I have you to tha…" Said Arnold but unfortunately he was cut off by Roy who came back down the hall way with bat in hand and whacked him in the back of his head.
"That should do it." Said a relived Roy.
"What the hell has gotten into Roy, why did you do that?" Said Marth. Then Arnold got up again and before he could do, or say anything Roy yelled aloud.
"Its okay Link and Marth I knew this was one tough Jehovah so I over prepared!" Exclaimed Roy as he pulled out a revolver.
"Wait, no Roy! DON'T" said Arnold, but it was too late for him because Roy emptied all six shots into Arnold's chest.
"Roy have you gone completely insane?" said Marth, but Arnold wasn't dead and again he tried to stand up but Roy was already one step ahead.
"Oh my god this is a really tough Jehovah, luckily I got this a last occurrence." Said Roy holding up chainsaw.
(Camera cuts to Marth, Roy and Link in the car driving home from the hospital)
"Roy, you are so freaken lucky that Mr. Arnold isn't dead, and didn't press any charges because we would never see you again. They would put you in prison for attempted murder for life. Dammit Roy you need to settle down and grow up Roy, you're too old to be acting like that." Said Marth as he lectured Roy firmly, "Now listen Roy we're going to look at these apartments up here so the three of us can become roommates, don't screw this up or I will literally kill you! That goes for you too Link. We need this, lets go.
(Camera cuts to the three talking with the salesperson)
"Well you three have good credit, no crime record except for this Roy guy, is one of you Roy?" Asked the tuxedo wearing salesman.
I am Ro…I mean not Roy. You see this "Roy" um…I don't know died or turned into a walking penis which ever is more believable." Said Roy trying to play it cool to impress Marth, but Marth looked over at Roy and mouthed the words "I am going to kill you' silently.
"A walking penis you say? Hm…okay and you guys are all brothers or what are ya friends. Because I have rules not to let three homosexual men to live in my complex, so cut the crap." Said the salesperson.
"Now you listen to me you prejudice jerk off we are not gay, we're roommates and friends and even if we were gay why the hell would that matter to you racist people. Its things like this that makes America look bad, that is discrimination and morally wrong to say to someone, gay people need somewhere to live to you ass." said Marth proudly then again he spoke, "You know a lot of crazy things have been done in this show but it's only a show, it helps people forget about all the crap that is going wrong in America and if people really are that way about gays then America is a horrible place to live. And besides if there is really a god up in heaven, what kind of god would not accept people into heaven because of his or her sexual preference? Even if you don't give us this apartment, I don't give a damn because I am not sure if this place would be a place that I would feel comfortable living in." Finished Marth who was a little irate at this mans incredibly stupid and hateful talk.
The salesperson sat there for a minute and appeared to be in a deep thought and really took in to what Marth had just lectured him on. Then he spoke.
"Young man, you are exactly right, not only can you buy this apartment I'll give you the first six months free of charge. Please forgive me for my vulgar attitude earlier I didn't see it your way." Said the salesperson
"Your apology is accepted sir; remember earlier when we said we would like to privately think it over?" Said Link.
'Yeah I remember." Said the salesman.
"We actually used that time by sneaking into you're bathroom and threw up repeatedly."
(Camera cuts to the three in their new apartment watching the Terminator yet again.)
"Hey Link, come with me into the kitchen I have to tell you something." Said Marth, and with that the two left Roy in the living room and walked to the kitchen.
"What do ya want Marth, my favorite part is on" said Link.
"Listen I invited Arnold to dinner because of the other day and well I am worried about Roy." Said Marth who was then cut off by the door bell. "Oh crap."
"I'll get it" said Roy from the other room. Marth and Link listened as the door opened and all they heard was silence until. "AHHHHH! It's you again somebody help me!" screamed Roy.
"No wait please Roy it's me, Arnold Schwarzenegger." Said Arnold. To which Roy replied.
"Who the hell is Arnold Schwarzenegger? Your leader!" Roy finished as he pulled his chainsaw out.
"Screw this man I am gone!" said Arnold turning around and ran down the street.
"Don't worry you two, I knew he would come back; so I put land mines out side in the grass." Said Roy with that Marth turned to Link with a flabbergasted look on his face, and then they heard the sound of a massive explosion then silence.
"Roy lets go throw up" said Link.
Sorry if any part of this story offended you, it was all just a for fun and laughs also to impress hyperpersonwhohasnofuture. Review and if you'd like I will continue to make new shows.