AN: Hi guys it's Hunnybunny96. Back again, avoiding study like the plague. Well actually methinks this can count as study for English. But meh, details. I know I haven't update in a while but I was going through old essays I had written for my English teacher and this one is one of my favourites. I actually got good marks on it. But not with these specific characters. Sooooo I decided to post it online to see what you guys thought. I promise to have a new chapter up for Resolve in a couple of months cause then I will be FFFRRRRREEEEEEEEE! *Ahem* Anyway have a looksie and don't forget to review to tell me what you think. Toodles!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail in any shape or form
People say that death is just the next big adventure and for a time I believed it to be so. However lately, I found myself to be going against my own beliefs. I want to find the answer to the mystery that is death. Oh sill me, I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Lucy Heartfillia, aged seventeen and trying to find a meaning to my miserable life. I have a father, whom I don't care much for. My mother passed away many years ago and her death hurts still to this very day. All Father ever cares about is work so more often than not I am on my own. The stereotype of a spoiled little rich girl lingers around me but it couldn't be farther from the truth.
Staring blankly at the immaculate white dress hanging on my wall is all I ever seem to do now. Why her? travels around my brain constantly. The dress in itself is a symbol of childhood innocence that I have long since lost. It is a knee length snow white summer dress with a rose pink sash tied around the waist. The dress seemingly mocks me and I wish with all my heart that I could rip it up into shreds but that would only break HER heart. I couldn't do that. Not now. Not ever. Suddenly, a warm breeze of air filled with a smell of lilies, floats through my room and I begin to feel nostalgic. A presence could be felt beside me and a glance out of the corner of my left eye confirmed my suspicions. There in all her glory, stands HER. I can't bear to say her name. Dressed in the same white dress that hangs on my wall with beautiful, long feather like wings perched on her back. She takes a long glance at me with her soul penetrating cobalt blue eyes. Sighing she reaches out and tucks a piece of my long golden blonde hair behind my ear.
"Lucy, it's time. Please take that first step forward, for me. Please."
The second I turn to look at her, she disappears leaving me to wonder whether it was all real or just my vivid imagination. Once again, I glance at the white dress. Sighing, I stand up from my meditative position, thinking that she was right. It's time.
Walking into school that day was like being the new kid all over again. Everywhere I looked, someone was staring, whispering behind hands having supposed "hidden" conversations. I took on board the words she always said, Head up and don't let them know your fear. I tried to get through the day without distraction but as always it lingered beside me like a nervous mother. I smoothed down my white dress and went on with my day. Well, I tried to at least. I never noticed the pair of soul piercing onyx eyes that followed my movements through the day.
Days passed into weeks and weeks melded into months. Try as I might, I could not integrate myself back into society after that day. I became even more isolated from those around me but kept up a brave face. Everyday something white was found on my person be it a white blouse or a white ribbon that keeps up my side ponytail. I wanted to keep HER memory alive but at the same time, try to move on. Eventually three months into my solitude, someone approached my isolated world. It was surprisingly strange to interact with others after so long but at the same time, strangely satisfying. He introduced himself as Natsu. Even with my secluded nature, I knew who he was. He was surprisingly handsome with his unusual yet strangely suiting spiky pink hair. Striking onyx eyes that radiated warmth, hope and friendliness, a strong jaw and athletic build all made up this handsome man. I couldn't fathom why the most popular guy in school, everybody's golden boy if not a little destructive, would want to talk to me. I mean I am not anyone special. Once again, I felt HER comforting presence beside me, encouraging me to take another step forward.
And you know what, I did.
Pretty soon, Natsu became my best friend. I told him everything bar my greatest secret and regret. It's not like I was ashamed if it, I just couldn't come to terms with the pain. Not yet anyway. One day while we were just lounging about his apartment, I asked him why he talked to me that day, while scratching Natsu's pet cat, Happy, behind the ears. Shrugging his shoulders, Natsu just replied with,
"You seemed so sad and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why. So I decided to take that first step and talk to you"
There it was again. Take a step. What does it mean. I still continue my something white to commerate what has been lost. I can't part from this. It was too precious to give up. I can't lose my final present from her.
As the year wore on, I gained some more friends like Levy, who has the same love of books I do. But there was always something holding me back and I knew exactly what it was. The guilt, the need for redemption was so overpowering it crippled me from time to time. This need only got worse as a particular day began to creep closer and closer. I became more moody and reclusive, refusing everyone including Natsu, entry into my cocoon of despair and guilt. At that time all I could think of was how it was all my fault and how I shouldn't have said the things I did. While once again I found myself sitting on my bed, staring at the white dress on my wall, when my bedroom door slammed open, revealing Natsu. But what shocked me most was his appearance. His once sparkling eyes had lost their luster, his spiky pink hair was dishevelled and dark purple bags hung under his eyes, hinting that he wasn't sleeping properly.
"Luce" he called, breaking me out of my stupor.
"What's going on"
I couldn't tell him, he would hate me and then I would be all alone again. But SHE appeared once more, and placed her hands on my shoulders comfortingly, "It's time", was all she said.
So I finally explained my deepest secret to Natsu. How my elder sister, Erza, died of a terminal illness that had no known cure. How on the day she died, we had an argument and I stormed out without ever telling her how much I loved her and needed her. It was my fault she died. With this finally off my chest, I broke down letting out the tears that I had refused to let fall after a year of grieving. It took only a second before Natsu reacted, pulling me tight into his chest, allowing me to cry my frustrations away. After what seemed like days of endless tears, I calmed down enough for Natsu to talk. His next sentence shocked me to my core.
"It's not your fault. You didn't know that that was her day to pass on. It's not your fault."
And for once, I believed him.
Afterwards I explained why I always wore white. Erza's favourite dress was a simple white summer dress that reached her knees and had a pink white sash tied around it's waist. I explained that before she passed on to the next big adventure, she gave it to me to remember her when I wore it. I always wore something white to remind myself of childhood innocence and unconditional love. I decided that it was time for Natsu to meet my sister. Grabbing his calloused hand in mine, I dragged him to the graveyard where my sister rested. There in the middle was an averaged sized plot with lilies surrounding it. However to my shock, sitting on her own tombstone was my big sister Erza. Her long scarlet red hair flowed freely down her back with a non-existent wind moving it slightly. Her feather wings were extended behind her while she outstretched a hand to me.
" Lu-Lu, I am so proud of you. It's time to take your final step and let me go."
"But, but I don't want to let you go."
"You have to. I will always be there beside you in your heart. You will never be alone."
Tears flowed freely down my face as I replied and grabbed her hand, "Ok bye Big sister, I love you."
As her form slowly disappeared, a soft smile grace Erza's face.
"And I you, little sister"
Wiping at the tears on my face, I know I have redemption. Turning to Natsu, I saw the shocked look on his face and realised he saw it all. Suddenly I heard a meowing and felt fur up against my leg. Looking down, I found Happy, looking at us, seemingly asking for fish. Laughing, I grabbed Natsu's hand and picked Happy up with the other. As we walked out of the cemetery, I finally felt free of my restrictions and guilt, my white dress flowing with the wind. Today was the beginning of a new me and I knew I could face any challenge with Natsu, Erza, my friends and Happy of course by my side.