Okay I tested Moni, Bye11, with my last hot AW oneshot if she could find all the Grey's hints I used in the chapter... which she could... in return I promised her a oneshot of her choice... so here we go, hope you enjoy.
The promt she gave me was to do an AW story of Alicia having seen Will move on like Derek saw Meredith move on in Grey's season 2, and the story being of it colliding the same way it did for Merder including the Merder dialogue from the famous exam-room scene. Hope you enjoy!
I don't own The Good Wife or Grey's Anatomy, or the title which comes from Wilson Pickett's song.
In the Midnight Hour
She should be used to these events by now, she really should. They were all the same, well the same in form and style. Always lots of people talking chatting, trying to get something of you or you trying to get something of them. Tonight it was the party after Diane Lockhart's - her previous boss - confirmation hearing as a judge.
She had more or less hoped she would be called away in the last minute so she could avoid it. After all he was bound to be here. Plus Diane was not exactly the happiest person alive with Alicia at the moment, but she couldn't avoid it. There had been no last call away and there had been no way she could say no. Illinois first lady had to be there to celebrate the governor's choice of judge.
Peter seemed to be striving in the moment though. He was talking and politicking, smiling and shaking hands. He had spent a long time talking with Diane and Kurt, an episode Alicia had felt tenser than ever, after all it wasn't Peter that Diane ignored, it was her, and it wasn't Peter that seemed out of place here, it was her. She sighed softly and picked up another glass of champagne while hoping she would receive an emergency call from work.
"Drowning your sorrows?" Cary's voice sounded beside her, making her look up feeling a little better, Cary her work partner was at least a friendly face.
"Not really..." She started to protest but a raised eyebrow from him made her pause and nod. After all Cary was used to her now, he had over the last months seen her in some of her bad moments. And moments that showed a look behind the facade of Mrs. Florrick.
"You shouldn't it is not worth it... it really is not..." He told her with a sigh and for a brief moment Alicia considered what he meant but following his line of sight over to her previous best friend, another one she had lost, she knew what he meant. She wasn't the only one here wishing to be any place else where they didn't have to stay and watch and be confronted with the people they had hurt on their road.
"I know..." She admitted softly, while out of the corner of her eye she saw what she had tried to avoid. Will dancing with Laura. She fully knew they were back together, after all she had seen them kissing in the court building more than once. She had no idea when it had happened or how really, she just knew they were, and that they had been together for months now. Now they were dancing and smiling, Laura throwing her head back in laughter over some kind of joke. Alicia looked away unable to stand looking at him, well, them and feeling the pang in her heart as she did so. If she had looked over there just a moment longer she would have noticed Will looking back at her over Laura's shoulder, a sad look painting his face.
However she didn't see it and Cary chose to remain silent, about it too, especially because Peter had made his way over to them, shaking Cary's hand and asking Alicia to dance, something she gladly accepted hoping it would help her distract her mind.
Peter guided her out onto the floor and she rested head against his shoulder as he slowly moved them over the floor. To the public, she was the perfect portrait of serene, calm, first lady, but inside her head, there were a storm going on. She shouldn't be feeling like this, she was married, she had left Lockhart and Gardner because of it, because it should help her focus on her marriage and yet here she was, in the arms of her husband whom she had remarried only a few months before, her husband who loved her, and who had no idea about the inner turmoil she was facing, her husband that couldn't hold her focus even now with their bodies pressed together, since her gaze drifted over to Will time after time.
She tried to force herself to not look over there, but it was like he was a magnet's positive pole to which she was drawn. As her gaze once more drifted over there she caught his eyes this time. The intensity and emotions in them mixed with confusion and hurt made her feel sick. He was dancing with Laura in his arms and she suddenly couldn't even try to look away no matter how painful it felt. She took in how his expression changed, grew sadder and tenser and how he broke away from Laura and seemed to excuse himself, and she suddenly knew she had to try and talk with him. Try to explain, try to sooth the pain she was clearly still the course of him facing. She pulled back from Peter, excusing herself with that she had to go freshen up and have some water.
He looked a bit confused and worried at her but nodded, and she pulled away and quickly walked in the direction she had noticed Will disappeared.
She walked into the hallway and saw him slip into a room further down, quickly walking in that direction. She knew this was wrong, this was wrong, and she should have stayed in the other room dancing with Peter, but she needed to do this, she suddenly couldn't stand to stay in the limbo of coldness and anger that there had been between them ever since she chose to leave L&G, and him. She followed him into the room. It seemed to be some smaller dining room with unset tables and lights off.
He turned around as soon as he heard her open the door. And the anguish that colored his face was like a dagger to her heart.
"Can't you just leave me alone..." He hissed at her, making her gulp; maybe it hadn't been the best idea to follow him after all, but she couldn't stand this anymore. All their interactions since she left had been painful, cold and angry. She kept seeing the hollowed pained look he had the first time they met after she left him, the look that was still in his eyes even now months after, the look that was right now painted all over his face.
"I just wanted to know if you are alright..." She whispered, cursing herself in her head. Of course he was not alright, and her even having the dignity to ask it was horrible. After all she was the reason he was hurting, she had held the power of his heart in her hands and she had thrown it away, let it slip through her fingers, for what? A life of loneliness and a string of endless galas, fundraisers, the press/medias and endless face smiles painted as a mask on her face, hiding her inner turmoil.
"No! I'm not alright! Okay? Are you satisfied? I'm not alright! Because you have a husband, and you left me, and betrayed me. And now, you're looking at me. Stop looking at me!" He hissed at her, his voice filled with distress and pain, pain she wished she could kiss and sooth away, pain he didn't deserve.
"I'm not looking at you. I am not looking at you!" She answered, knowing it was a lie but what else could she say, she didn't have any less kids or family or complications now than she had months ago where she chose to set them on this path, hoping that breaking his heart in this way would maybe make him as angry with her as possible so it would break his love for her, and break them. She just hadn't imagined that it would also mean she longed for him even more, missed him more than ever, dreamt about what they could have been every night. However he didn't accept her lie, her defense mechanism.
"You are looking at me! And you watch me! And Laura she loves me! And I like Laura, she's perfect for me, and I'm really trying here to be happy, and I can't breathe. I can't breathe with you looking at me like that, so just stop!" He answered, his voice intense, laced with pain, sadness and desperation, pleading with her for the first time to no longer torture him like she had done in what felt like forever. To actually be the one to give him an out this time, and not the other way around. And she knew she should, but she couldn't; she needed to tell him what was going through her.
"You think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at Peter? I'm married. I have responsibilities. He doesn't drive me crazy, he doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal, he doesn't make me sick to my stomach by dreaming of him every night, wishing there was someone else in my bed instead! I would give anything, not to be looking at you!" She hissed at him, desperate, sad and confused. She stared at him, taking in how his eyes grew wide by hearing her words.
Minutes passed where they just stood there, looking at each other. She could see all his love and desperation for her in his eyes, his longing, his sadness, his pain, but also all his dreams and desires. Things she knew were playing in her own eyes as well; after all, how could they not?
She wasn't sure who of them moved first exactly but she did know she had crossed and closed the distance between then in seconds. Pulling him to her, letting their lips meet, kissing him, like she always wanted to kiss him. The kiss was intense and filled with a yearlong longing and unvoiced love from her, how could she have been so stupid thinking her decision would make it easier for her, for him or for them. She kissed him like she never wanted to stop again. It was desperate and tender, all at the same time.
He kissed her back with equal favor, his hands coming around her waist pulling her tighter against him, if that was even possible. She was clinging to him, holding him, molding them together. If anyone were to enter the room right now, she would have created a scandal of her own and she didn't care. She didn't care for anything but him, but loving him, showing him he wasn't alone in it, that his love for her was not unrequited like she had let him believe forever. That she loved him just as much, wanted him just as much, that though she did everything she could not to, he was there in her mind, heart and soul, all the time.
Their kisses were heavy and deep, tongues meeting and mating with each one of them. They moved slowly backwards and she felt herself being lifted up onto one of the tables. She wished she had worn another dress, a less tight or long one, one that made this easier, instead of the midnight blue velvet gown she had settled on; but Will had no problem finding the zipper in the back, lowering it gently, as she pulled of his bow tie and helped him out of his jacket. He was placing kisses all over her face, chin and jaw. She felt her dress loosen as he pulled the zipper down, making it easier for them to push the long dress up and out of the way.
With nibbling fingers she unbuttoned the top buttons on his shirt as he started to kiss down her throat finding the hallow where her throat met her shoulder and placing kisses on the sensitive skin there, making her moan and arch against him, while she let her fingers find their way down, opening his pants and helping him lower them, while his hands slide over her thighs and up to the side of her tong helping her pull it down and off. She pushed his boxers down and freed his erection, that was already throbbing with need for her. She wrapped her legs around him and he lifted her up a little, lining himself up at her soaking entrance and carefully slid into her, inch after inch, making her sigh and whimper in pleasure, as he stretched her, until he was fully locked in her.
For a moment they just held each other tight, basking in the glow of once more being one. Their lips met and tongues caressed and stroke each other. She sucked on his tongue lightly, making him groan into her mouth as he gently started to move in and out of her.
The situation would require them to be fast and have this quick and over. But there was no hurry in the pace he set, as he made love to her. Holding her tight against him, his hands on her hips holding her. She moaned in pleasure, as he slid into her, over and over again, letting her head fall back and offering him her throat and neck again for his passionate kisses, and the caress of his lips.
He lowered his mouth to her shoulder and placed a light kiss there, before he started to kiss up her shoulder and towards her throat. She tipped her head back to give him a better access. He ran his tongue up her throat until he reached the spot just behind her ear that he had learned long ago gave her so much pleasure, and he started to suck on the soft skin there. She gasped and moaned in response, as she moved with him, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He started to suck on her earlobe gently.
She whimpered and groaned, as she buried her face in his neck, kissing him on the throat. They carefully continued to move together, lips brushing and caressing each other, hands that held the other close. She felt her pleasure built, steadily, until she started to convulse in her passion, clenching down on him, passionate. She grabbed on to his shoulders, feeling lightheaded. She gasped and moaned in the intense pleasure she felt. He groaned as she fell over the edge and he followed her.
Minutes passed and she just rested her head against his shoulder. Their bodies still connected and holding each other tightly, until she felt him pull back, looking at her with confusion and hurt in his eyes yet again.
"Will..." She whispered, but he was already starting to redress, so she followed him, lowering the dress and trying to find a way to close the zipper. As she noticed him picking up his suit jacket she turned around to face him.
"What does this mean?" He looked confused at her for a moment, then started to look around on the floor.
"You had panties on... I can't see them anywhere..." he mumbled, making her want to shout to hell with the panties...
Tell me you love me... tell me you are not moved on... give me a chance to choose you Will... tell me this wasn't a mistake... that you don't regret it like I don't, even though I have just broken every vow I ever made. Tell me this is it, that we are it!
At the same time the door into the room opened, shocking them both and making them look over, as Eli entered. He looked anything but happy, not that she could blame him after all, everything screamed post sex with them, something that was a killer for every dream Eli had for Peter and her in the future.
"Will... Diane was looking for you... she had someone she wanted you to meet... and Alicia... Peter was looking for you... I offered to come find you..." He said, instead of commenting their mussed hair or their messed up clothes, though he clearly gave them both disapproving looks.
"Yeah I will go find her now..." Will answered and straightened up and walking to the door, while running a hand through his hair.
Alicia followed, and was about to follow him out as Eli held her back, zipping up her dress she had forgotten all about, because all she knew was she couldn't let Will go with no conversation. She quickly brushed a hand through her hair, and looked at Eli who nodded confirming her appearances. As she looked at Eli she begged him with her eyes not to judge her, and he nodded slowly with a gentle smile, and a look that told her he had her blessing to do whatever she needed, not matter how much it hurt Peter's public image.
"You suffered enough," he admitted and she smiled back and walked out of the room, catching the sight of Will, moving in his direction. He seemed to have stopped for a moment, before going back in.
"Will..." She spoke softly, making him look over at her, while another voice sounded, Laura's voice, and he glanced over at Laura too.
"Will..." She said again, staring into his eyes. Trying to convey how much she loved him through her gaze, to tell him not to go with Laura, because she was finally willing and ready for him. That even though it would be months before she was divorced she still chose him this time.
She would have a lot of talking to do the next few months, explaining it all to the medias, to Peter, to her kids, to everyone really but it would be worth it, Will was worth it. She smiled hesitatingly at him, and felt her heart flutter when she saw him smile back, neither one of them noticing it wasn't just Laura or Eli that watched their interaction or how they had come out of the same room, their clothes still in light disorder. Peter had too.
At the other end of the hallway, he watched them with a heavy heart. He wasn't sure what was most painful that his wife had just cheated on him, that he had lost her years ago and never gotten her back, or that he now knew why her eyes, these last months, ever since the slit from Lockhart and Gardner and probably even before had held a certain sadness, lacked a certain light in them, a light he now saw as she looked and smiled at Will. A light he now knew was connected to the fact that she had been and was in love with another man. With a sigh he turned away unable to look at them, he would have to talk with Eli the next day about a press conference announcing his divorce, and then take it from there.
Okay so please let me know your thoughts... also there is a link to the dress i thought of Alicia wearing on my profile.
