-Author Notes-
Hello, everybody, my name is RJ49er and may I present my first fanfic I present on this site. Many of you may be wondering how I came up with the idea for this fanfic. No, you didn't. Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. So, I was watching this SSB Machinima known as "Brawlgasm". It was about all your favorite Smash characters being complete dicks to each other. I liked the concept, and since I was incapable of coming up with an original concept. I decided to make a fanfic that was SORT OF SIMILAR to Brawlgasm. But don't worry; I'm not going to rip-off anyone off in this fanfic. At least, not intentionally, so I hope you enjoy the Happy-Go-Lucky world that is Smash Together.
Episode 1: A Plumber Dare
Battlefield. Isn't it a beautiful place? The sky cast bright colors. The floors were beautifully tiled. They had the weird floating tiles. It was the perfect way to eat the meatball heroes with your red-shirt blue overall brother. 'Battlefield was the perfect lunch spot', Mario would always say and it seemed today that it was going to be an ordinary day for the two of us. I mean Bowser was not scheming, Koopas weren't roaming, and the Princess was still safely being kept in her castle. I hoped that nothing bad was going to happen to me, for once. It was just going to be a simple day where the Super Mario Brothers did nothing but eat the Meatball Heroes.
Of course, the Universe just loves proving me wrong, as Donkey Kong entered the Battlefield, having heard that Battlefield was the perfect spot for lunch, wanting to eat his bunch of bananas peacefully. Mario looked at the funky monkey for a while, and then he got an idea to make a fool out his little brother.
"Hey, Luigi", said the Red Plumber.
"Yeah, Mario", I said wiping the sauce off my mustache.
"Want to do something interesting", said the Plumb Italian.
'Oh, this cannot be good', I thought to myself.
"How about we do a little Plumber dares", said Mario as he came closer to me.
"What is a Plumber dare?" I said being confused out of my mind.
"It's kind of like a regular dare", explained Mario, "except if you succeed in doing the dare. You get a special prize."
"What special prize?" I replied.
"Well, depending on the dare, the person get out of doing their chores for a certain period of time", said Mario.
"So, let me get this straight. If I do your plumber dares… I can get out of plumbing people's toilets FOR A PERIOD OF TIME" I said in amazement. You see despite what many people think, Nintendo characters do poop and since Mario and I are THE ONLY PLUMBERS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. We are the ones called to fix clogs, patch leaks, and get rid of everyone's shit. Of course, I DO MOST OF THE PLUMBING, Mario just sits around and occasionally tortures Goombas. I decided why not do some Plumber dares, what's the worse that could happen?
"OK, I'm interested", I said unaware of the cruel things that were about to happen to me.
"OK, if you do this first Plumber dare, you won't have to do your Plumber chores for one day", said Mario.
"Sure, what do I do?" I said.
"So, your first Plumber dare… is to steal Donkey Kong's bunch of bananas", said Mario with a creepy grin.
I was a little nervous. I mean Donkey Kong was my friend… and he was capability of making some REALLY STRONG PUNCHES. I didn't want to mess with him… but I also didn't want to clean Wario's toilet. So, I better snatch those bananas before Donkey noticed.
I tried to be super sneaky in stealing Donkey Kong's bananas. I didn't want that gorilla to see me and beat the dung out of me. So, I tried to be extra careful.
"Come on, I'm almost there", I muttered as I was about to grab Donkey Kong's bunch of bananas, however, Donkey Kong spotted me.
When Donkey Kong saw me trying to steal his bananas, he got up, hammered his big fists against his chest repeatedly, made some loud monkey noises and shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH DONKEY KONG'S BANANAS?"
"Nothing, I was just…" I tried to explain to Donkey Kong what was going on. However, it was too late as Donkey Kong performed a large punch attack and punched me high in the sky. When I came crashing down in the Battlefield, I saw that Donkey Kong was gone but my brother was still there laughing so much that bits of meatball were squirting out of his mouth. I didn't really enjoy getting punched by Donkey Kong, but it was worth getting one day without fixing leaks in Olimar's sink.
"So, you want to do the next Plumber dare", smiled Mario.
"There's more", I said in chagrin.
Five minutes later, Mario and I were at Green Hill Zone and there, standing at the blue stick was Mario's fat, disgusting, jerk of an evil twin, Wario, whom was currently trying to flirt with Zero Suit Samus. It wasn't working, obviously.
"Come on, babe, want to go to WarioWare, Inc." said the fat hog.
"Ugh. No way", said Zero Suit Samus as she left the area.
"Damnit", grunted the greedy motorcyclist.
"Now, what exactly do I have to do, again?" I said knowing that I will probably not like the answer.
"All you got to do is touch Wario's butt", said Mario as he laughed really loud.
"What?" I said as I cringed at the thought at what I was being forced to do.
"Now, Luigi, if you do this Plumber dare, you won't have to do your Plumber chores for one week."
'Wow, a week', I thought. 'One day without plumbing is nice… but a week'
I, immediately, ran to the spot where Wario was stomping on flowers. When I reached Wario, I hesitated on whether I should do the Plumber dare or not, but my conscious decided to just do it already. So, I placed my hand on Wario's rear end. I almost vomited when doing so. Then, Wario turned his head and saw what I was doing.
"So, you like touching my ass, eh", said Wario. I tried to explain why I was doing this but then, Wario said, "Well, you ought to love this. WARIO WAFT!"
Suddenly, Wario let out a fart so strong that it blasted Luigi to the end of the stage. Mario, whom was watching all of it from a distance, was laughing his rear end off. When Luigi came back from a quick bath, he went Green Hill Zone and asked Mario, "Ok, this is the last Plumber dare that you're making me do."
"Oh, you don't want to NOT have plumber chores for one month", said Mario cunningly.
"One month", said Luigi as he was thinking about doing the one month Plumber dare. "OK, what do I have to do?"
Fifteen minutes later, Mario and I were at the Onett stage and I was worried as hell. I was wondering what nightmarish thing Mario wanted me to do for the One-Month Plumber Dare. I was sweating in my overalls. I was even too scared to ask Mario what I'd had to do, however, Mario said, "OK, here's what you have to do for the One-Month Plumber Dare" as if he had read my mind.
"You see Kirby over there", said Mario as he was pointing to the pink fluff ball whom was waiting for a taxi. I nodded to Mario, and Mario continued what he had to say, "Well, I want you to sneak up on him and then, say 'Boo!'"
I was surprised at how simple a dare it was. I didn't even hesitate to sneak up right behind the Pink Man-Eater. I didn't even consider what could go wrong in doing such a simple dare. So, I said rather softly, "Boo." Then, Kirby turned around and screamed as he appeared to have been frightened from the simple "Boo." I was shocked by Kirby's reaction, and I tried to explain why I did that? However, just like the last times, I was too late to speak as Kirby sucked me INTO HIS STOMACH AND ATE ME! There, in Kirby's stomach, was no light and it was cold and it smelled funny. I could hear Mario laughing from inside Kirby's digestive system. I was scared. Scared and pissed.
After I got out of Kirby's digestive (Don't ask how I got out), I went up to that bastard of a brother, whom was still laughing at my misfortune. "Oh, that was so good. So good", said the red and blue douche, "So what do you want to do now?" I, immediately, displayed a creepy grin and I brought out a plunger, while my brother gave out a nervous smile.
Minutes later, Mario was trying to plunge the mess that was Kirby's toilet. "UGH", my brother said in a disgusted tone, "WHAT DOES KIRBY EAT, MAN?" I was watching my brother in delight, while, I was also torturing a Goomba. "Now, hurry up and plunge, I hear Wario has a clogged toilet", I said.
Mario, instantly, raises his stained gloves to sky and screamed one big "NO!" as Luigi laughed at his misfortune.
THE END!
-Author Notes-
So, I hope you enjoy this episode of Smash Together. Next time, we'll be looking through the eyes of a vintage robot that just got robbed.
So, if you liked the fanfic (or not), make a review. I want to hear people's opinions of my work to make it better. So, I hope you take the chance to review it. Thanks!