SHARK-MAN AND MAN-SHARK
Shark-Man and Man-Shark; two of the world's most feared predators! SHARK-MAN; a man who looks incredibly like a shark! And MAN-SHARK; a man who acts like a shark! (Complete with long silky hair!)
MAN-SHARK: Voi. Why am I Man-Shark? I am clearly more Man than that other shark. *glares at Shark-Man*
SHARK-MAN: You're just jealous I have the better name.
MAN-SHARK: VOI! JEALOUS? WHY WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF A NAME LIKE "SHARK-MAN"?
SHARK-MAN: Because it beats "Man-Shark".
MAN-SHARK: VOOOOI!
(I think you hurt his pride, Shark-Man.) AND ONTO THE OPENING WE GO!
"Who lives in a Pineapple under the sea?
"SpongeBob SquarePants!
"Absorbent, Yellow, and Porous is he!
"SpongeBob SquarePants!
"If Nautical nonsense be something you wish,
"SpongeBob SquarePants!
"Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
"SPONGEBOB...SQUAREPANTS! Arharrharr."
MAN-SHARK: VOI! WHAT KIND OF CRAPPY SONG IS THAT?
SHARK-MAN: It's actually kind of catchy.
MAN-SHARK: VOI! CHANGE THE OPENING NOW, OR I'M GOING TO CUT A NEW OPENING IN YOU!
...Opening Two it is then!
"Who lives in a Pineapple under the sea?
"Kufufufu~"
MAN-SHARK: VOOOI! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
No actually, I'm Sirius.
SHARK-MAN: *to viewers* Oh don't mind Man-Shark there. He's just crabby he got the short end of the name stick. He's just sulking.
MAN-SHARK: VOI! SULKING? WHO'S SULKING! I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S SULKING AFTER—
AHEM. AFTER MILLIONS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF YOUR TAX MONEY, we've finally perfected the opening!
SHARK-MAN: Oh about time.
MAN-SHARK: ...Voi. This better not suck.
*to the tune of the SpongeBob theme song*
"OH...Who lives in a mansion under the sea?
"SHARK-MAN, MAN-SHARK!
"Barbaric, foul-mouthed, and tacky is he!
"MAN-SHARK, MAN-SHARK!
"With a blue-skinned friend who looks like a fish,
"SHARK-MAN, SHARK-MAN!
" Don't you think they'd make a terrible dish?
"SHARK-MAN, MAN-SHARK! SHARK-MAN, MAN-SHARK!
"SHARK-MAN...MAN-SHARK! Kufufufufu~"
MAN-SHARK: VOI! THAT WAS TERRIBLE!
SHARK-MAN: At least we don't live in a Pineapple anymore.
MAN-SHARK: IT'S TERRIBLE! HOW AM I BARBARIC, FOUL-MOUTHED, AND TACKY?
SHARK-MAN: You're as barbaric, foul-mouthed, and tacky, as I am fish-like.
And SHARK-MAN here is the epitome of "fishy'!
MAN-SHARK: VOI! I'M GOING TO SLICE YOU ALL TO DEATH! I'M MORE MAN THAN THAT SHARK!
Which is why you're MAN-SHARK!
SHARK-MAN: I don't think he's too happy about that. *inching away from MAN-SHARK and his swinging sword of doom* I think we should leave now.
MAN-SHARK: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL AND FEED YOU TO RAIN SHARK!
Uh...WHAT'S THAT I HEAR? AN ICE CREAM TRUCK? OH, WELL THEN, BYE! THE COMMERCIALS ARE ON! SEE YOU AFTER THE BREAK!
MAN-SHARK: VOOI! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! *chases after Narrator*