Disclaim: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or the lyrics to Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes, which are present in this fanfiction. This fanfic was written out of pure fun and is not met to put down or flame anyone involved in the making of Fullmetal Alchemist or Panic! At the Disco.

Note: This Fanfic contains flat tasteless fluff. This is not my best work. Dedicated to Delena Clements.

Chocolate Flavored Kisses

Warrant Officer Vato Falman stared at the report in front of him but is mind was elsewhere and the words blurred on the page and didn't make sense. It was hard to concentrate on work when you have more stressful problems on your plate. He tried to push the thought to the back of this mind but it kept bubbling back up to the focus of his thoughts. He thought maybe a cup of coffee would clear his head but he was interrupted as he stood from his chair.

"Does anyone know what's eating Lt. Havoc," Hawkeye asked looking away from the window from which she was observing the Lt.

"He probably got dumped," Colonel Roy Mustang murmured not looking away from his Central Times newspaper.

"He's psychic," Breda blurted out loud.

The First Lt. walked away from the window and spoke directly to her comrades. "It's hard to balance a relationship and this job. You have no time…," Riza gave a sharp glance at Roy, "and good luck meeting someone worth wild here."

"Ouch," Falman thought to himself but Roy didn't notice for he was concentrating on the article he was reading.

"Please, a man should be able to handle both his job and his women. I do," Roy replied still not looking away from his paper.

Breda gave a look that read," Ya, that's his problem."

"Hey wait," Roy said finally looking away from his paper. "Grief effects his performance, which effects me. Hey, one of you guys find a girl for Havoc," Roy said turning to his loyal followers.

"But I'm a highly trained officer", Master Sergeant Kain Fuery thought as he adjusted his standard issue glasses.

"I can't even get a girl for me," Falman thought back to how he needed help to get a girlfriend, so how was he gonna help someone else?

"Just toss him one of yours Colonel," Breda thought about just how greedy Roy was when it came to women.

Roy saw the displeased faces of his of his followers. "… What's that," he said in a bored but intimidating voice.

"Nothing, nothing," the three responded.

"I don't guess none of you know what he's looking for in a woman, do you," Roy asked turning back to his paper.

"Well," Falman spoke up, "when we were drinking he mentioned wanting a cute, smart, funny girl with a good personality who wasn't likely to cheat on him." "But we were both piss faced drunk so," Falman added to himself. They were both trying to drown their sorrows at the time.

"Right. Falman scower the city for a cute, smart, funny girl with a good personality and introduce her to Havoc," Roy said reading a different article from before.

"You want me to do what!?," Falman pointed at himself as if he couldn't believe that Roy had asked such a ridicules request.

"You heard me. It's your new mission," Roy glanced up at his Warrant Officer from his newspaper.

Falman sighed as he walked down the hall of H.Q., scratching the back of his head. "Some mission. They didn't cover picking up women in basic training. Where am I suppost to find a girl?"

Shaska suddenly came out of one of the side rooms and collided with Falman. Files spilt all over the floor as the two collapsed onto the ground.

"That hurt," Shaska said as she pushed her glasses back onto her face. "I'm sorry, are you ok," she asked finally looking up at her newest victim of her clumsiness.

"Shaska?"

"Oh, Falman!"

Falman smiled gently. "Nice running into you. Have you been well," he asked as he helped pick up the files on the floor.

"Ya, something like that."

Falman frond. That wasn't the reply he was looking for. He wanted to hear that she was miserable without him just as he was miserable without her.

"Hold on," Falman said out of the blue as he got to his feet. "You're a girl. I'm looking for a cute, smart, funny girl with a good personality. Know where I can find someone like that?"

"Hold on a minute," Shaska said who was now on her feet. "Are you somehow suggesting that I am not a cute, smart, funny girl with a good personality officer?"

"Oh no, I don't mean it like that," Falman said as he put his hands up in front of him in defense. "It's all quite silly. Colonel Mustang ordered me to find a girlfriend for Lt. Havoc."

"Oh, it's for Havoc," Shaska said calming down.

"Ya, so you have any ideas?"

"Look no further! I have the perfect women!," Major Armstrong shouted appearing out of nowhere.

"Who…?," Falman dared to ask.

"My baby sister!"

"Well there you go. No more need for me," Shaska said turning to leave.

"Wait," Falman grabbed her arm. "I need to talk to you about-," but she wrenched away before he could finish.

"I don't want to talk about it now, Vato," she whispered to him then walked away.

Falman sighed and turned back to the Major.

"Oh God, what a day," Falman sighed as walked down the street heading home.

"I hear you, man," Havoc smiled. It comforted him know he wasn't the only guy with girl issues.

"Let's get a drink together, my treat," Falman said spotting the pub they had visited before.

"No, not tonight. Besides, you don't have any money," Havoc took another quick drag of his cigarette.

"Yes I do, I won the bet."

"What bet?"

"The bet we made on you and your date," Falman grinned.

"AH!! Now you just own me a drink!," Havoc said shoving him through the double doors of the pub.

The sound of karaoke and joyful drinking filled their ears as they entered the pub. Yes, it was a place for men to forget the troubles of life and be engulfed in the drunken fanatics of the mind. That is unless reality decided to come get a drink itself. Just as the boys where heading to the bar, Falman heard a very familiar laugh.

"Shaska!"

Shaska was sitting at the bar with Winry drinking a martini.

"What are you doing here?!," Falman stormed over to her with Havoc close behind.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having fun with my friends," she said in an all most mocking tone as she went to take a sip of her drink but Falman snatched it away from her.

"Oh whoa, Falman." In all his years of knowing Falman, Havoc had never seen him like this. He was always so calm and collective.

"You shouldn't be here!!," Falman grabbed Shaska by the arm and pulled her up from her chair.

"Hey what are you doing?," Shaska tried to pull away put but Falman's grip was to strong. He was definite angry.

"We need to talk now!," Falman said pulled her out into the parking lot.

Havoc and Winry just looked each other completely unsure of what to do. Havoc ran is fingers through his hair, smoothing it out, as he sat down next to Winry. "Hi, let me buy you a drink."

"Where are we going?," Shaska asked as Falman dragged her down the block. He just ignored her as he walked up the stairs of his apartment. He opened the door and let go of Shaska as he opened the door.

"What's going on?"

"I just want to talk, ok," Falman said trying to calm her down.

Shaska took a deep breath, "Well I'm listening."

"I'm sorry."

"You're Sorry!! That's it!!," Shaska roared at him. He didn't even have time before she came at him with another wave of anger. "You think that's gonna clear things up!! Maybe I should go give Havoc a try! Maybe he'll take responsibility for the things he does and not just run away like a little kid!!"

"I wasn't ready for something like that!"

"So you just jumped before you look at what could happen!!" Shaska's voice became scratchy and teary. "I'm pregnant and your just gonna…," she hiccupped, held back tears swelled, and she hid her face in her face. He remembered: that one night exchanging body heat in the passenger's seat as hearts betted faster and faster, then when the shock of this fact came and set in, and his stomach acid found a new way to make him sick. He remembered yelling, an argument, turning his back, but now she was crying as he held her.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm gonna be here for you, promises," Vato said.

She looked up at him, tears still streaming. "You promise…," she said half sniffling.

"Promise," he smiled.

Shaska let out another sob as she dug her face into Falman's chest.

"Now don't cry anymore. Here I got you something," he reached into his pocket. He pulled out an expensive bar of milk chocolate. Shaska wiped away the tears as he unwrapped it. Falman broke off a piece and held it out to her. "Ah", Falman said asking her to open her mouth. Shaska opened and Falman popped the piece of chocolate in her mouth.

Lips crashed together as fingers ran through premature grey hair, moans growled from somewhere deep in a chest, and savoring the taste of chocolate as tongues battled for domination. Those lips finally parted after what seemed like forever, gasping for breath as they whispered, "I love you."

"What do you think it will look like," Havoc said to Roy, who was sitting across from him in there little pow-wow circle.

"Well you have to think about the dominate genes," Fuery said as he took the black crayon from the bow and drew a stick figure on the sheet of paper on the table.

"Oh! Like white hair," Breda took out the white crayon and drew white hair on the stick figure.

"Blue eyes too," Havoc drew two blue circles where the eyes should have been.

"Shaska doesn't have blue eyes," Roy said.

"But Falman does," Havoc responded.

"You've seen Falman's eyes!!," The whole group shouted at Havoc.

"Ya, Falman wears glasses but he hates wearing them. That's why he's always squinting," Havoc explained.

"Both parents have bad eye site," Fuery drew glasses.

"Hey wait! What about big boobs!," Breda said.

"Breda……it's a boy," Havoc said.

"So this is what it looks like," Roy said looking at their creation.

A card was sitting next to the group. It was an invitation inviting Roy Mustang to a wedding.