Deep in stygian blackness, a whirring noise sounded gently. Speakers, huge and hidden, from one side of the underground cathedral to the other sprang to life in full surround sound glory. And there, in the darkness, suspended over the bottomless chasm of the Batcave, an image flickered.
Success! thought Batman, as he tinkered with his controls. The 3D adaptative projector worked! He fast-forwarded the DVD until he found what he was looking for.
In glorious three-dimensional, full-color omnidirectional sound, so clear and crisp and perfect you would swear it was real, a mighty space battle played out. One huge cubical ship, hideous and alien, moved through the void, a mighty fleet of streamlined warships battering against it, phasers and photon torpedos flashing. By God, it was worth every penny of the small fortune it had cost to design and install the technology.
He scanned the Star Trek: First Contact DVD for a full hour, using every image-enhancing technique he could, until at last he saw what he was looking for. The legends were true. There were two Millenium Falcons in that battle, cleverly hidden but not invisible. He activated the fiber-optic internet connection, and headed over to StarGeeks.com, entering his favorite chatroom.
Batty409: I found them! Both Falcons in the Borg battle!
JarJar's_momma32: Kewl!
Jedi_knihgt14: You rok, batyy ;)
Batty409: Thanx, guys. I'll send yo the data. Hang on a sec.
Bobomacintosh: Can't wait, B-man :)
Batman began uploading the enhanced scans when he heard a cultured, polite, but very distinct cough behind him. He turned, and saw Alfred standing there. In his hands he held a paper bag.
"Master Bruce, I can keep silent no longer. Your behavior over the past month has been deplorable, even frightening, and you must stop."
"What do you mean, Alfred?"
"Your bizarre fixations, on Star Wars, Star Trek, and the like, have drastically decreased your effectiveness as a crimefighter and worried all your friends and allies. I must demand that you come to your senses, or I shall be forced to take drastic action."
Batman folded his arms defiantly. "Like what?"
"Like this." Alfred opened the bag, and drew out a large thawed turkey. Before Batman could react, Alfred swung the fowl in an overhead arc, bringing it down right between the pointed ears. Batman folded over and crumpled on the floor in a heap.
******
"Wh-what time is it?" asked a dazed Bruce as he came to.
"You've been out cold for nearly two hours, Master Bruce," said Alfred, standing at his bedside. "You had an accident. What's the last thing you remember?"
"I remember catching Two-Face, night of the twenty-third."
"That was a month ago, Master Bruce. You appear to have short-term memory loss. Leslie has examined you, however, and aside from that, you seem fine."
"Good."
"Try and get a little more rest, Master Bruce, and I'll look in on you again in an hour." Alfred slipped out discreetly.
He took Tim Drake by the shoulder, pulling him away from the door where he'd been standing. "Go down to the Cave, and clean out anything that night remind him of his previous condition. Alter the internet logs, remove the new film equipment and the Star Wars memorabilia. Burn his Stormtrooper costume."
"Sure thing. Did the hypnosis take?"
"Indeed, Master Timothy. He has no memory of his recent behavior."
"And he bought your story?"
"Indeed. Master Bruce seems to have absolutely no suspicion of any Fowl Play."
The End
Success! thought Batman, as he tinkered with his controls. The 3D adaptative projector worked! He fast-forwarded the DVD until he found what he was looking for.
In glorious three-dimensional, full-color omnidirectional sound, so clear and crisp and perfect you would swear it was real, a mighty space battle played out. One huge cubical ship, hideous and alien, moved through the void, a mighty fleet of streamlined warships battering against it, phasers and photon torpedos flashing. By God, it was worth every penny of the small fortune it had cost to design and install the technology.
He scanned the Star Trek: First Contact DVD for a full hour, using every image-enhancing technique he could, until at last he saw what he was looking for. The legends were true. There were two Millenium Falcons in that battle, cleverly hidden but not invisible. He activated the fiber-optic internet connection, and headed over to StarGeeks.com, entering his favorite chatroom.
Batty409: I found them! Both Falcons in the Borg battle!
JarJar's_momma32: Kewl!
Jedi_knihgt14: You rok, batyy ;)
Batty409: Thanx, guys. I'll send yo the data. Hang on a sec.
Bobomacintosh: Can't wait, B-man :)
Batman began uploading the enhanced scans when he heard a cultured, polite, but very distinct cough behind him. He turned, and saw Alfred standing there. In his hands he held a paper bag.
"Master Bruce, I can keep silent no longer. Your behavior over the past month has been deplorable, even frightening, and you must stop."
"What do you mean, Alfred?"
"Your bizarre fixations, on Star Wars, Star Trek, and the like, have drastically decreased your effectiveness as a crimefighter and worried all your friends and allies. I must demand that you come to your senses, or I shall be forced to take drastic action."
Batman folded his arms defiantly. "Like what?"
"Like this." Alfred opened the bag, and drew out a large thawed turkey. Before Batman could react, Alfred swung the fowl in an overhead arc, bringing it down right between the pointed ears. Batman folded over and crumpled on the floor in a heap.
******
"Wh-what time is it?" asked a dazed Bruce as he came to.
"You've been out cold for nearly two hours, Master Bruce," said Alfred, standing at his bedside. "You had an accident. What's the last thing you remember?"
"I remember catching Two-Face, night of the twenty-third."
"That was a month ago, Master Bruce. You appear to have short-term memory loss. Leslie has examined you, however, and aside from that, you seem fine."
"Good."
"Try and get a little more rest, Master Bruce, and I'll look in on you again in an hour." Alfred slipped out discreetly.
He took Tim Drake by the shoulder, pulling him away from the door where he'd been standing. "Go down to the Cave, and clean out anything that night remind him of his previous condition. Alter the internet logs, remove the new film equipment and the Star Wars memorabilia. Burn his Stormtrooper costume."
"Sure thing. Did the hypnosis take?"
"Indeed, Master Timothy. He has no memory of his recent behavior."
"And he bought your story?"
"Indeed. Master Bruce seems to have absolutely no suspicion of any Fowl Play."
The End