A/N: Somewhat of a continuation of Speech Tutor. This is a couple of months after that story, so it's in the same series as that. Also, Karkat has a little trouble with vowels and Rs in this two-shot.
Key: Aternian, "English."
Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck.
When Jade invited you to a movie night, this was not what you were expecting.
Jade, you spoke in Alternian, who is this blubbering idiot of a male human, and what is he doing at your hive?
Jade shoves an elbow into your side. Be nice, she barks in Alternian before switching to English. "Karkat, this is my cousin John; he's visiting from Washington. John, this is Karkat. You know, the troll I'm tutoring that I talked about."
Your stomach flipped hearing that she talked about you outside of the tutoring center. Good or bad, you don't care, it was nice hearing that she held some feelings strong enough for her to talk about you outside her job. The nice feeling disappears as the buck-toothed male bounded up to you, hand outstretched.
"Hi, Karkat! I'm John Egbert, nice to meet you!" he says, speaking slowly.
You give the hand and its owner an offended snarl. "Fuuck you, Joahn-human. I have troublespeaking, not underrrstanding, you goddamn, dim-witted piece of shyt." You may or may not have mispronounced his name on purpose.
Karkat! What did I tell you about being nice? Jade snaps. She narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. As if that was going to affect you, your lusus was way more intimidating than she was!
This is me being nice, you counter, crossing your arms.
You growled at him! Like a dog!
He was asking for it.
Like hell he did!
"Uh, guys? Sorry to interrupt your… talk, but the movie's ready to go," John says, knocking the two of you out of your glaring contest. "Do you think you can make the popcorn, Jade?"
With one final glare towards you, Jade stormed into her hive, leaving the two of you alone. John-human at least has the nerve to look apologetic.
"So," he starts, "sorry about insulting your intelligence. I honestly forgot what she was tutoring you. Are we cool?"
The human offers his hand again, and you glance between it and his face before reaching out your own.
"I suppose I can allow this to slide because of yourrr species' lower IQ," you start, but jump back as a small shock runs through your palm. You growl, What in the ever loving, flying fuck was that?
John-human erupts into laughter and holds up his hand, a small joy buzzer attached to it. "I can't believe you fell for that, that was the oldest trick in the book," he gasps between laughs.
Your face flushes and you chase him into the hive, spewing profanities in Alternian after him.