Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the characters associated with it (no matter how much I wish I did).
A/N: so... here's the prologue for my first major fic after an INSANELY long time that I've gone without writing any (meaning since 9th grade). Please let me know what you think! I'm already working on chapter 1, but yeah, this is not even close to being finished yet. I have no idea how long this is gonna be, either.
"Are you ready, bud?"
Kurt Hummel was absolutely not ready. It was his first day of high school, so, yeah, he was bound to be nervous. This, however, was the first time he was going to be setting foot in a public school since his middle school days, none of which he'd like to relive. Kurt could see nothing good coming out of this transfer. Who transfers smack-dab in the middle of their high school experience?
Sure, he had officially been deemed "ready" for mainstreaming into a public school environment, but that didn't mean he was completely symptom-free. He would still be seeing his psychologist weekly and psychiatrist as needed. He still had trouble with clothing colors; he still had to wear light blue socks every day, because blue is the color of clear skies which means his dad is "in the clear" medically if her wears them. He still asks his dad The Questions for reassurance. He still likes his things arranged certain ways, and will most definitely freak out if things are disturbed. He still has intrusive thoughts.
Yet, Kurt can sleep in his room again without freaking out. He doesn't need to re-read sentences in books, or re-write sentences until they look just right. He can step on cracks in the sidewalk most days. He doesn't need to tap his nose 6 times on either side, over and over again. He doesn't wake up in the middle of the night crying because he had a non G-rated dream. He doesn't feel like his life is hopeless anymore.
Even though he didn't find life hopeless, that didn't mean he didn't resent his condition. Like now, as his dad drove the car into the parking lot of William McKinley High School, Kurt was anxiously fiddling with his bowtie, straightening it over and over again, as he repeated his mantra over and over again in his head- I will be okay. Dad will be okay. Everything will be okay. He wanted so badly to believe it, to feel positive about this drastic change in his life, but any change in his routine was terrifying.
Kurt felt the car slow to a stop. "Kurt? Did you hear me?" Kurt whipped his head around from where he had been staring at out the window, realizing that he hadn't responded to his dad's original question.
He looked down at his hands, both of which were shaking quite a bit. "Yeah, Dad; yeah, I'm ready," he answered, unsure if his dad could see through he is façade, and if he could, whether or not that would mean he wouldn't have to go through with this transfer. He placed up at his father, and could tell that his dad was almost as unsure about this transition as he was. Nevertheless, Kurt grabbed his messenger bag and slung it over his shoulder. Was he ready? No. Was he going to go through with this anyway? Yes. Would he survive this experience? Well, only time would tell.