Guilt in Life
Chapter One
It was a common knowledge among the Pevensie children that they had been to a strange country called Narnia where animals talked and trees danced. As ridiculous as it sounded, they had been, indeed, kings and queens there for a period of time. This story was told in a book called The Witch, The Lion, The Wardrobe.
Yet, it was another common knowledge among the four Pevensie children that Edmund Pevensie bore a guilt that he shouldn't be bearing. No matter who tried to talk him out of the guilt, all they got for return was rejection. Cold rejection in fact.
The siblings travelled back to the magical land once again last year during their departure in the train station. Edmund Pevensie returned to the land he loved, the land that once hated him.
Their second journey in the enchanting land saved endless lives and stopped a tyranny from stripping the people they loved. Yet, this guilt didn't go away. The story about how the old kings and queens helped an orphan prince to save the kingdom was told in another story called Pince Caspian.
For now, the children were having their long summer break, something they had been looking forward to for a long time. It would be the last summer that they spent together. Peter was leaving to study at Professor Krik's place while Susan was going to start her new life in America. Everyone treasured this summer. Edmund tried, yet, it was uneasy to stay in the same room with the old king and queens of Narnia.
Guilt was not supposed to be part of Edmund at the moment. At least not when he was cutting the weeds for Mrs Pevensie, who did realise something changed about her children since visiting Professor Krik. They were more mature, yet, too mature.
Edmund glanced at the window and noticed his mother was watching him on the second floor though it was obvious that she tried to hide it by pretending to read a book. The book was up side down though. He snapped his head away from her, pretending he didn't see anything and kept cleaning the lawn.
Sun was no where to be seen in mid summer, it reminded Edmund of winter. The winter. Thrusting his painful thoughts away, he continued to work, driving guilt away by wondering what he was going to have for supper.
He could hear Peter's voice, talking about their last adventure in Narnia. He heard Susan and Lucy's laughter. They had offered help on cleaning the lawn, Edmund refused though. They were trying to get him "out of your world of guilt" again. It didn't work. It wouldn't work.
Finally, he was tired, he had finally made himself tired by punishing himself. To clean the lawn. To get away from his past as the Just. To forget the fact that he had once sold Narnia out. What was more, he tried not to think that his people actually forgave him.
He was never a worthy king, he just knew there was nothing special about him being a king, a leader. Only a traitor. He bore this name, and he knew he was going to bear this name for eternity.
Edmund sat on the lawn and looked around, again, trying to distract himself from thinking. Street was quiet and air was stuffy. Everyone stayed in door, listening to radio perhaps, or maybe reading a book. His siblings were recalling every single one of their sword fight and battle wound.
Edmund was listening to the silence of the town when a hooded woman appeared in the end of the street, coming from the forest. He stared, and frowned.
The woman was about his height, Edmund could see her messy brunette from the cape of her neck. He couldn't see her face, but it didn't matter. She was wearing a purple cloak around her body. No one would dress like her except those...All Edmund knew was, this girl came from no other world but the one he knew best.
Narnia.
Still, he waited, sitting on the lawn, eyes fixed on her. The woman was about he height he noticed, sword hilts were visible from her belt. There was more than one sword.
A woman carrying two swords was indeed not normal in Narnia, it was even more peculiar in modern England, that a woman was wearing clothes that resembled medieval Europe with two swords walking in the street.
She looked up, looking around. Finally, her gaze fell on him. She stared at him for a moment, Edmund knew it was rude to stare back blankly, but he did.
The woman in cloak gasped, hurried forward. She was crawling more like it.
"The Just King I believe?" she was panting.
"I am," Edmund replied. A Narnian in London. Something went wrong.
"I need your help," she trembled. Edmund got up from the lawn, eyeing at her. His caution told him not to believe anyone so easily.
"What's happened?"
The woman's face was uncovered as she drew the hood backward. Her face was white, sweat hovering on her forehead. She shook her head slightly, and it was then Edmund noticed her hand was clutching at her stomach.
"Help...your majesty..."
She collapsed, Edmund reached out at her fast.
"Hey," he mumbled in her ear, but she didn't open her eyes. Something definitely was wrong.
"Peter!"
"Finally accept our help?" Peter came waltzing out of the house. Under his messy blonde hair, his brilliant blue eyes widened by the sight of the woman in Edmund's arms.
"Get her into the house." Edmund didn't need to be told twice as he carried her into the living room.
"Lucy!" Edmund called and Lucy gasped.
"My room," Lucy glanced at Edmund, "Now."
"What happened?" came mother's voice, Edmund didn't explain, "Who's she?"
Edmund raced upstairs and placed her on Lucy's bed, her eyes were shut in pain and Edmund started to notice the nauseous smell, the one smell that he knew well from battlefields.
Peter stood at the edge of the bed, frowning. The High King was back as Peter sat down next to the woman, glancing at Edmund.
Lucy and Susan quickly returned with Lucy's first aid box. Even since visiting Narnia and being Queen there for twenty years, Lucy was genius at fixing wounds even without her cordial. Gingerly, she flipped opened the woman's hood, all found was ruddy blood.
Mrs Pevensie screamed, "We must get her to the hospital!"
"Mum, it's okay," Susan whispered as Lucy skilfully cut the fabric around her wounds. The boys looked away.
"Dagger," Lucy mumbled before looking up at her brothers, "she's wounded by dagger."
"From Narnia?" Peter frowned.
"Where possibly will you find dagger if it's not Narnia?" Edmund said impatiently.
"What is Narnia boys?" Mother's face was pale.
"Mum, it's not a right time to explain," Susan said, sighed, "how would it even be possible? She's definitely a Narnian."
"Something happened there," Peter concluded, "what brings her here?"
"She was asking for help a moment ago," Edmund explained, he glanced at her belt, frowned, "Susan, take out her belt."
Susan handed it to Edmund, there were two swords. Both Peter and Edmund knew too well not to draw them out.
"My horn," Susan pointed out. The white horn was hanging there, elegant and untouched, "I thought Caspian was keeping it."
"What is going on here?" Mum glared at them and the fainted woman, "we have to get her to the hospital!"
"Mum, Lucy can fix her," Peter tried to comfort her. Edmund knew well enough that this wasn't going to work.
"I need bandage," Lucy said, sweat was all over her forehead, "mum, can you get me some bandage? I mean, like now?"
"But-"
"Mum!"
Muttering under her breath, Mrs Pevensie went down stairs to get the bandages.
"Is she going to be all right?" Susan asked in concern.
The room was filled with the smell of rust and salty blood. As much as Edmund was used to this smell, he didn't like. It usually meant something was dying or there was battle.
"She will be," Lucy replied as gazing at her wound, "all she needs is a lot of rest, and bandage."
"I wonder how she came here," Peter mused, "the horn brings us back, but what brought her here?"
"I think she wants us to go back," Susan said slowly, "that must be why she's here. To warn us, or to...I don't know...save Narnia again?"
"But we're not going back, Aslan said that," Peter reminded them, "unless something very serious happened—Mum, you don't need to hide there to listen to our conversation."
Mum gingerly made her way to the edge and handed Lucy the bandage, "are you ready to tell us what is going on? What, in Christ name, is Narnia? You're freaking me out, kids."
"You're not going to believe anything we say."
"Maybe you should start from the beginning," mum encouraged, "I will be very patient, and Peter, throw those toys away. If you insist to let this girl stay, Susan, fetch some clothes, I am not really in her her drama costume."
"These are not toys mum, they are tools," Peter said. Lucy and Susan smiled slightly before finding some clothes for the woman.
"So, what's the story?" Edmund felt his mother was eyeing at him, he looked away, staring at the window.
"You're not going to believe it," Edmund repeated grimly, "mum, just, please don't make things difficult."
"Come on," Mum urged, "you know I hate secret."
"It's not a matter of hiding secret, it's just...you're just going to treat it like a joke," Peter explained.
Mum's lips were forming a firm line, "girls, help this girl to change, and boys," her gaze fell on Edmund, "you're going down to the living room and explain everything."
When mother gave them that look, the children just knew too well not to argue or deny. Sighed silently, Edmund made his way to the living room with Peter.
Mum sat on the couch, waiting for them to speak.
"It all began with a wardrobe," Edmund started, knowing how his past was going to haunt him during the explanation, "a magical wardrobe."