Carlos squirts water into his mouth from his water bottle before he throws it off to the sidelines again. He grins as he looks over to his small team of six. He misses this, the small, pointless games. He misses playing soccer just for fun.
He's been playing competitive games for years now, always training, always waiting for something more. Being on a simple team had its perks, though. There was never too much pressure. Lots of guys on his actual team played just for fun. But this was never just fun for Carlos, not anymore. This was about overcoming his own goals and becoming something new. He knew he was good, and he finally had the chance to prove it to the world.
"Princess, you ready?" Logan says from across the field, his arms raised. Carlos rolls his eyes and gives him the finger before he jogs over, kicking the ball gently.
Logan steps on the ball once it reaches him and smirks, "C'mon, let's see what you got," and kicks the ball in the air. Carlos smiles and catches it easily with his foot, balances the ball there for a few seconds before kicking it up. He bends over while it's still in the air and the ball lands on the back of his neck, balancing there too. He smirks when Logan rolls his eyes.
The guys are laughing now and Carlos just grins at them and kicks the ball down the field. The game officially begins, the ball rolling, and Logan pulls at the back of Carlos' shirt to pull him close and bite at his shoulder gently. Carlos laughs, elbowing him away before running towards the ball, swiftly stealing it from another player and kicking, making it bounce off the goal post.
Logan makes a low 'tsk' noise behind him like he's disappointed and Carlos turns, shoving him. Logan is still smirking and he barely budges back, grabbing Carlos' wrists and squeezing them.
"What, you wanna go?" Logan asks, his voice lowering as he prepares for them to go into a mock fight and Carlos wants to go, alright.
"Stop messing me up, you little fuck," Carlos says, stern, but his eyes are wild with the want to laugh.
Logan snorts, about to pull Carlos closer when they hear a gagging noise behind them. They turn and see Kendall glaring at them, smirking. "Can you two take it somewhere else? We're tryna play a game here."
Carlos laughs and steps away from Logan, jogging towards the ball again. "You wish you guys could play a proper game," he replies, teasing, and Kendall is grinning, beginning to jog after him.
"You're on, baby," he says and he attempts to steal the ball but Carlos twirls away easily, the ball still in his control. He's laughing with the team now and he looks up to see Logan smiling at him, so sweetly and so proud Carlos sort of feels nauseous.
Logan sends him a kiss, lips pursed and Carlos turns away, his cheeks red as he kicks the ball from across the field and into the net.
x
"Why're you so nervous, huh?" Logan asks, bringing Carlos another can of beer. Carlos takes it easily, his bones loose from the alcohol already running through him.
They're at Logan's house about a week later and it's taking all of his self control to not vomit all over his nice, white couch.
He shrugs, playing with the can before he opens it. "This is a big game."
Logan tries to protest gently and Carlos silences him with a look.
"This could determine everything, Logan. My entire career is in the hands of those coaches."
"But Los," Logan says, inching closer. His face is relaxed from the booze but he has this sweet look in his eyes. He almost looks sad. "You're a great player. Amazing, even. They have no reason not to pick you."
Carlos flushes at the compliment but doesn't look convinced. "But what if I fuck up?"
Logan huffs, rolling his eyes and Carlos puts his beer down on the coffee table in front of them. "I'm serious, Logan," he says and Logan stops. He stares at Carlos and waits for him to continue, squeezing his knee.
Carlos swallows and looks down, not able to look at him. "What if I ruin everything?"
Logan cups his jaw, lifting Carlos' face until their eyes connect. "You are not going to ruin anything, Carlos. You are going to play the shit out of that game like you always do, and the coaches are going to love you."
Carlos starts shaking from the nerves, tries to pull away and Logan keeps him there, presses a soft kiss on his lips.
"You are going to blow them away," Logan murmurs against his lips. Carlos covers Logan's hands with his. "Then you're going to get on the team and you're going to travel the world and leave me here forever."
Carlos smiles at that, big and beautiful and it makes Logan smile too, right against his lips.
"I'm not going anywhere," Carlos says, running his hands up Logan's arms.
Logan shakes his head, still smiling. "I don't care if you end up playing for fucking Brazil, Los. You're leaving me. I'm aware of that."
Carlos kisses him, pulling Logan's hands away from his jaw so he can hold them. "There's no way I'd get into Brazil," he says and Logan rolls his eyes.
"Will you stop it?"
Carlos is still smiling but Logan can see the fear in his eyes. "I'm just so scared," he says softly and Logan has to kiss him again, has to squeeze at his waist and bring Carlos close, right onto his lap. Carlos goes easily, so used to this.
"I know you're scared," Logan tells him, running his thumb over Carlos' jaw. "But you need to believe in yourself, babe. The way I do."
Carlos wants to hide his face. "But what if -"
"Stop thinking about the what ifs. Carlos," Logan looks into his eyes, squeezing his waist. "You are going to own that field. I promise you."
Carlos' face is bright red and he kisses Logan, stealing his breath away. "Promise?" he whispers, breathing into his mouth.
Logan sighs, fingers digging into Carlos' lower back, right above his ass. "I promise, baby."
They're silent for a few minutes, their foreheads pressed together. Carlos breathes him in, his eyes closed. The silence feels so beautiful, his skin thrumming as Logan rubs his back.
Then Logan smiles, interrupting the calm. "I can't wait to see you in your brand new Pena jersey," he murmurs and Carlos can feel his face heat up again.
"Logan," he says, warning, but he's smiling just a little. He doesn't want to talk about the future because these things probably won't happen. But damn it, he gets so happy when Logan talks about him like this.
"It better be a nice color," Logan continues, fingers massaging Carlos' sides. He kisses Carlos, soft and sweet before he mumbles, "'Cause I'm gonna get an exact replica and wear it to all your games."
Carlos could probably vomit right now but instead his eyes well up in emotional tears. Logan makes a soft sound, kissing him again and saying, "No, angel, c'mon, no tears."
Carlos lets out a shaky sigh and cups Logan's jaw, kissing him hard. He feels like his chest might combust as Logan squeezes his back, makes a noise into his mouth.
"I love you so much," Carlos admits, lips still pressed together and he wants to cry some more, to be honest. The thought of Logan still being with him, even if he has to live on the other side of the world, is so incredibly sweet and endearing. Logan smiles, his lips red and bruised. He's so happy.
"I couldn't love you more," he murmurs, kissing Carlos again.
x
When Carlos makes it on the team, he almost falls over.
Logan has to hold him by the waist, smiling against his neck as he talks to his new coach on the phone. His hands are shaking and Logan is nearly jumping up and down next to him, vibrating with excitement.
"Thank you so much. I'll see you tomorrow," he finishes and turns the phone off. It goes flying because Logan picks him up immediately and starts yelling at the top of his lungs, and Carlos clings to the back of his neck, laughing.
"You fucking made it!" Logan is yelling and Carlos can't hold back the tears. He cups Logan's jaw and kisses him, bites at his lip when it becomes too hard to kiss through their smiles and Logan's eyes are filled to the brim with tears.
"Babe," he smiles and holds the back of Carlos' head, pulls him close so their foreheads are touching.
"You did it, baby," he says and Carlos laughs through his tears, still not able to believe it.
x
Carlos is almost done packing his bag when Logan walks into their room. He presses little kisses up Carlos' shoulder until he reaches his neck and Carlos laughs, bringing his shoulder up to his ear.
"That tickles," he says and Logan just smiles, resting his head on Carlos' shoulder. He watches as Carlos folds the rest of his shirts and places them gently on top of the pile of clothes in his bag.
"Done," he finally announces and he sounds so small. It's bittersweet.
Logan turns Carlos around gently, hands on his waist. "It's only for a few days," Logan says, and pecks his lips.
Carlos nods, playing with the edge of Logan's shirt. "And I'm only a few towns over."
"Exactly," Logan agrees, looking into his eyes. He smiles. "So why are you so sad?"
Carlos shrugs but says, "I'm not sad. I just wish you could come with me."
Logan sits on the bed and Carlos sits next to him, holding his hand. It's been years since he's been apart from Logan. He didn't think he would feel any remorse about leaving him so quickly, even if it was only for a short time, but now he feels sad. Nervous.
"This is probably for the best," Logan says, running the pad of his thumb over Carlos' palm. "You get to spend time with your new teammates."
Carlos' stomach flips and Logan laughs, because it's like he can feel it. The excitement in the room shoots up so fast he thinks his heart might jump out of his chest.
"Besides, you're gonna be livin' the good life over there, with your fancy ass hotel room," Logan says and Carlos laughs, bringing Logan's hand up to his lips and kissing his fingers. "I still wish you were coming," he says once he's done and Logan nods. He kisses the top of Carlos' head and pulls at his hand until he's snuggled against his side, head on Logan's shoulder.
"I know," he replies, rubbing Carlos' arm. "But we'll be alright."
x
Carlos is long gone when Logan gets back to the apartment later that night. It's so quiet and eery when Carlos is not around. Logan doesn't know if he'll ever get used to the silence.
He tries to ignore it and goes to take a shower. Carlos cleaned the house before he left and made Logan promise that he would clean up after himself while he's gone. Logan doesn't know how honest he was being when he had agreed.
He goes into their bedroom and sees a teddy bear sitting on the middle of their bed. Logan pauses because he's never seen him before and his mouth falls open when he sees what the bear is wearing.
Logan walks to the bed and picks the bear up, touching his long shirt. It's a blue jersey, the number fourteen etched on it in white. Logan turns him over and lets out a soft, pained noise when he sees large letters spell out PENA on the back.
He wipes at his eyes and picks up the small piece of paper that was under the bear. He unfolds it and it reads;
I love you. Now you can wear my name wherever you go.
Logan smiles so wide that his face begins to hurt. He takes his shirt off and takes the brand new jersey in his hands. He's not ashamed to admit that he brings the cloth close to his face, breathing in the smell of the new material. It smells like Carlos, so he's definitely put it on before.
"God," Logan mumbles to himself and pulls the jersey on. The material is so soft, clinging to his shoulders like it belongs there. Logan runs his hands down the front, smiling down at the number.
He doesn't take the shirt off for the rest of the night, even when he goes out for drinks with his friends later on. They tease him about it but Logan can tell that they're impressed and proud. Once he's a little buzzed from the shots that keep coming his way, he takes his phone out.
Love you is all he sends.
A few minutes and another shot passes when he gets a new a text.
Love you more, Mr. Pena.
Logan smiles down at his phone and his friends howl with laughter, slapping his shoulders. They call him whipped, and as he walks across the bar to buy them all another round, with the name Pena printed across the top of his back, he thinks they have no idea.