This idea has been boiling in my brain.
Cuddles sits on a bench, watching the kids play at the park. Cub swings forward, then backwards, then forward. Petunia waves happily from the other side of the playground. He stands up and waddles over, a break from boredom. "Hey Petunia!" he says happily.
He sits down on the bench next to her. "So, did you hear about those stocks." he says casually. Petunia shrugs.
"I heard the maker of Chuck Norris Facts is selling the website."
Cuddles laughs "Who're they gonna write about!?" a pale, sickly old beaver leaps from nowhere.
"He has built and destroyed countless planets, he can kill by looking at you, HE INVENTED THE PENCIL!!" Petunia and Cuddles look around, warily.
"Where'd you come fro..."
"Cro-Marmot pwned Brian Boitano's ASS,
Everyday he makes Former President Thomas Jefferson give him a piggyback ride,
He built the Pyramids and made the Aliens destroy the Indus civilization
You can barely comprehend 3 dimensions, he understands all 11
On the seventh day, when God rested, Cro-Marmot took over
He has a third hand under his wolly hair
He Anhialated the Evil Potato king and saved the 9th dimension
Cro-Marmot ate 3478 orders of chili-dogs, and caused the Permian mass extinction
Cro-Marmot invented HAARP, then Global warming happened
He shot down a plane by yelling "BANG!"
Screw the Gate keeper, HE'S THE FUCKING DOOR
He won 1996's Most Sexiest Happy Tree Friend award
He has fathered 62 children
Cro-Marmot threw up. They now call it East Pennsylvania
Cro can turn invisible, George Lucas calls it 'the Force'.
Cro Marmot invented time travel. Now we have Cars, Electricity,and Narwhals.
Cro-Marmot made a Flaming Marshmallow Sailor Godzilla. Thats why we can't find Atlantis.
Cro-Marmot believes in Ancient Astronauts. Where else would he come from!?
Do you still believe in the Boogeyman? Well, he's mounted in Cro-Marmot's livingroom, with Cujo, Willy, and Micheal Jackson."
Cuddles stares at the old beaver. "Who the hell are you!!!?"
A oneshot about Cro-Marmot, As I found out some amazing stuff about him, but I based this on CNR by Weird Al Yanchovic.
Just for laughs