~~Hello friends, I've missed you all, but I've been having the worst case of writer's block lately. I've been going through some drama lately, and I thought the best way to channel my emotions would be to write them out. All poems were written by me, any Taylor Swift song lyrics belong to her, and characters and quotes from the stories belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Enjoy, friends, enjoy. ~~
November 18, 1991
It was a normal evening in the Gryffindor Common Room. I was reading in my favorite armchair by the fire, Harry was rereading "Flying With The Cannons" for at least the tenth time, and Ron was arguing with Fred and George over Yule Ball dates. I wasn't really paying much attention to their conversation, until-
"Oi, Angelina!" Fred was shouting across the room. I hate that.
Angelina Johnson turned from her conversation with Alicia Spinnet. "What?" she called back.
The next words I heard come out of Fred's mouth sent my heart plummeting into my stomach (you could practically hear the splash). "Want to go to the Ball with me?" he asked her.
There was a pause. I tried my best not to look like I was listening or cared, when really I was praying that Angelina said no…
"All right then," I heard Angelina call back. And that was it for me. I slammed my book shut, drawing surprised and rather confused gazes from Harry and the twins; Ron remained oblivious to it all. I stalked off to the girls' dormitory without a word to any of them. I tried to keep my tears from spilling over so I wouldn't have to run out of the room.
Once I reached my bed in the dormitory, I collapsed on the soft feather mattress, my entire body shaking with sobs and wails I knew people downstairs could hear, but at the moment I really could have cared less. I'm so stupid, I thought to myself. So stupid for thinking that Fred Weasley, prank extraordinaire, would pick me over that stupid Angelina. What does he see in that bitch, seriously? Sure, she's gorgeous and popular, but that's as far as it goes. Is she smart? No. Was she ever there for him when he needed help or advice? No, it was always me. Yet Fred asked HER to the Ball and not me? I lay on my bed and cried my eyes out for the rest of the night as I thought about how I was losing the love of my life right before my eyes. I stopped crying when the other girls came in and got ready for bed. As I lay there, several hours later when nothing but a peaceful silence filled the room, I softly sang to myself as I drifted off into an uneasy and heartbroken sleep:
"She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she's cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers, dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find that what you're lookin' for, has been here the whole time…"
December 24, 1991
The day of the Yule Ball arrived, and while I myself had a pretty awesome date, it wasn't who I had originally hoped to go with. But my date now was part of my plan of getting revenge on Fred for breaking my heart. I left in the middle of an epic snowball fight to start getting ready. Ron thought I was mental, but I wanted to make sure Fred noticed what he was missing out on. I spent the next few hours perfecting my hair, whitening my teeth, smoothing out any crinkles on my dress. When I was finally done and was turning this way and that, examining myself in front of the mirror, I couldn't help thinking to myself,I look amazing. I knew it, and soon enough everyone else would too, hopefully including a certain redheaded individual whose name starts with an F. This will be a night to remember, I thought to myself as I headed downstairs to the Ball.
As I walked down the stone steps into the Entrance Hall, I became aware that everyone's heads turned to see who was taking everyone's breath away as she entered the room. My periwinkle blue dress robes flowed elegantly behind me, my no-longer-bushy hair twisted up into a knot on top of my head. Everyone was watching me as I descended down the steps, smiling at them all, my eyes scanning the area for a head of flaming red hair and a certain bitch dripping off his arm…found him! Sure enough, Fred was staring at me like everyone else, the same open-mouthed, awestruck yet appraising expression. And there SHE was, arm in arm with my secret love of four years, staring at me in utter shock. I kept my eyes on Fred, silently daring him to look away as my date, the famous Bulgarian Seeker Viktor Krum approached me. Perhaps he too had the same look of amazement in his eyes as he softly put my hand to his lips to kiss it, but I did not notice. I was keeping my gaze locked on Fred as Viktor led me into the Great Hall to dance. Fred's eyes followed my every move with Viktor, and I swore, for a split second, a look of pure jealousy crossed his face before Angelina reclaimed his attention and led him too into the Great Hall.
As Viktor and I took our places in the middle of the floor, I made sure Fred had a clear view of me and who I was with. The music began, and I forced myself to look away from Fred for but a moment to gaze into Viktor's eyes as we waltzed almost effortlessly around the floor. Just as I went to look at Fred again, Angelina, like she knew I watching them, took him by the hand and led him onto the floor. The Weird Sisters, the band that had been playing the waltz, now struck up a much faster tune. As more people came onto the dance floor, I tried my best to stay in Fred's line of vision. At one point during the song, I became aware that he was watching me dance. Our eyes locked for a moment, and he gave me a genuine smile that made me happy all the way down to my toes. I returned the smile wholeheartedly, but when I looked at him again a few moments later, Angelina had again reclaimed his attention, this time by seductively moving her hips. Needless to say I rolled my eyes and left the dance floor with Viktor right when the song ended, saying I was hot and wanted something to drink.
A few hours later, I was reaching my breaking point yet again. Viktor had left a few minutes before at Karkaroff's insistence that Viktor needed his strength for the upcoming Second Task. I was sitting with Ron at a nearby table when The Weird Sisters began to play a slow song. I watched Fred blush crimson as Angelina pulled him in close and placed his hands on her waist. I felt something in my heart snap, and I wound up having a shouting match with Ron in the Entrance Hall about my bringing Krum as a date. Right after Ron stormed off I blew up at Harry, which I regret doing because he couldn't possibly know what I was going through. But I am glad he left when he did, because not ten seconds after he disappeared from view, I looked into the Great Hall just in time to watch Angelina lean in and kiss Fred on the lips. He didn't pull away, he only seemed to pull her closer to him. My legs gave out under me and I had to quickly sit down on the same steps I had descended with so much grace and beauty and confidence just three hours before. I sat there for a while and just let my tears overcome me. I couldn't win, I just couldn't win.
New Year's Day, 1992
I was in the Great Hall with Harry and Ron eating breakfast when Fred and George came in and sat down beside us. I had not spoken to Fred since the Ball, and he had not tried to talk to me since then, either. So I was very surprised when I heard him say my name.
"Hey Hermione, you looked great at the Ball, I've been meaning to say," said Fred.
I smiled. "Oh, well thanks Fred, so did you."
Fred gave me an awkward smile and then turned to George. "Oh George, we should go, we still have you-know-what to do this morning." George nodded and they both stood up to leave. The twins bade us farewell, and that was the last time Fred talked to me for a month.
February 24, 1992
The Second Task had just ended, myself, Harry, and Ron were soaked to the skin and wrapped in warm blankets, having literally just come from the bottom of the Black Lake. Fred and George were with us as we climbed out of the enchanted boats to head back up to the school to congratulate Harry on a job well done and surviving Task two of three. Then Fred took out a planet pocket watch and realized what the time was.
"Sorry you lot, but I've got to go meet Angelina," he said.
My mood automatically darkened, as well as my face, I'm sure. I fell into step beside him. "Wait," I said, "so then you actually are together?" I tried not to sound too interested.
Fred looked right into my eyes. "Yeah," he answered. "We got together at the Yule Ball."
"Oh?" I replied. "And how is that going?" I was silently thinking, please say bad, please say bad…
"Things are great!" Fred said happily. "And," he added, "I know we've only been together a couple months, but I think I'm falling really hard for her."
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right, I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night, I thought to myself. "Oh, um, well, er, have fun," I said awkwardly. You never know what to say when the guy you love is going to meet another girl. Fred left without another word to me. Harry must have noticed my sad expression because he gave me a concerned and questioning look. I shook my head and a look of dawning comprehension replaced the look of confusion on his face. Luckily, he didn't say anything as we walked up to the castle. I didn't say a word for the rest of the day.
November 24, 1992
Rebellion was stirring within the walls of Hogwarts. You-Know-Who returned at the end of last year, and the Ministry had placed some horrible old hag known as Dolores Umbridge as our new Defense Against The Dark Arts "teacher" as a method of keeping the truth from leaking out. Umbridge absolutely refused to teach us defensive magic, so while evil was growing in the Wizarding World, we were completely defenseless. However, as bad as things were, I couldn't help but feel an inner sense of emotional peace. As you'll recall, Fred Weasley, the wizard I'd been in love with since my first year at Hogwarts, began dating this bitchy whore Angelina Johnson last year, breaking my heart. However, just last month, they had a very loud and public breakup in the common room. I tried to keep my happiness to a minimum, but I think Harry, who realized that I liked Fred last year, may have noticed. Aside from the fact that my Fred might yet love me back, I was also involved in a secret club called Dumbledore's Army.
Dumbledore's Army was a group of students led by Harry himself, and we had all taken to learning magical defense behind Umbridge's back. There were quite a few people that had joined from all the different Houses except Slytherin, of course. And naturally, a certain redhead and his twin were part of it as well. And much to my delight, Angelina was not. I'm not going to lie, I was a bit of a show-off in the meetings whenever Fred was around, and I think at one point he may have noticed me. I swear I heard him and George betting on me Stunning Ron at one point. I Stunned Ron with no problem at all, naturally, so I hope Fred won his bet. As the meetings went on, I caught him staring at me and talking to me a bit more often than he normally would do, and I would go to bed each night smiling a bit more than the night before, thinking to myself: I don't know how it get's better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless. And I don't know why, but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless.
December 19, 1992
It was the last D.A. meeting before we all took off for the Christmas holiday the next day. I wasn't smiling as much as I had been lately. Fred was totally ignoring me once again, he hadn't talked to me for two weeks now, and he never looked my way anymore. Seriously, what does he think he's doing to me? I was deep in thought about this whole thing when I heard someone say my name.
"Hermione," it was Fred. I looked up, surprised.
"Oh, hi Fred, how are you?" I asked casually, trying not to show my confusion and surprise that he was talking to me.
"Fine," he answered, but his eyes said otherwise. He waited until everyone else had left the Room of Requirement before continuing. "Have you got any plans for holiday?" he asked tentatively. "Because my mum wanted to know if you'd like to come over for a few days over holiday, and we could all come back to Hogwarts together. Mum asked Ron to ask you, but I didn't know if he had or not…" he paused awkwardly and looked at me in such a way that I couldn't help the fluttery feeling in my stomach despite all the misery he had unknowingly put me through.
"Umm, well, sure," I replied. I felt my neck and face blush. I hoped he didn't notice. "Yeah, that sounds fun, I'd love to." I gave him the sweetest smile I could, but it turns out that smiling sweetly in front of the mirror for practice and smiling at the boy you love are two different things entirely.
"Okay," Fred smiled. "I er, also kind of want to talk to you when you're over…"
I literally felt my stomach drop a few inches closer to my feet. "Umm, ok?" I answered, not sure what to say.
Fred nodded at me, the left without another word, leaving me to walk back to the common room on my own, feeling more confused that I already felt.
December 25, 1992
I had been at the Weasleys' for a couple of days, and they had been a wonderful two days. I was sharing a bedroom with Ginny, and we stayed up all night talking about everything. Everything, that is, except Fred. Even with my best female friend, I just couldn't bring myself to talk about the boy I loved and all the pain he had caused me.
It was just after dinner on Christmas Day. We were all stuffed to exploding point from Mrs. Weasley's delicious supper she had prepared for us all. Bill, Ron and George were in the sitting room playing Exploding Snap, Mr. Weasley was in his shed tinkering with his Muggle trinkets, and Harry and Ginny were playing a game of Wizard Chess. Fred, I don't even know where he was. He hadn't spoken to me since I arrived. Typical. He says he wants to talk to me, then ignores me. I sighed and plunked myself down on the sitting room sofa. I stared into the fire, trying to sort out all these feelings, as if the bright orange and yellow heat in the fireplace could offer advice of some sort.
"Hermione." I jumped, yanked back to reality. Fred had appeared out of thin air next to me.
I looked him in the eye. "Oh, are you speaking to me again?" I asked. There must have been contempt or hurt in my voice or on my face, because he looked a little taken aback.
"I need to talk to you," he practically whispered. "Will you come with me?" he asked. I nodded and followed him up the stairs.
We walked up a few flights of stairs and stopped on a landing just below the floor where mine and Ginny's room was. Fred stood there, just looking at me with those bright happy eyes that now looked…sad?
"Hermione," he began. "I really don't know where to start, so why don't we just begin with what just happened downstairs."
Aah, so I had shown some sign that I was upset. I just couldn't tell him that I was in love with him, had been in love with him, had had my heart broken by him, it might ruin my relationship with him and his family. But I had to say SOMETHING, he was just staring at me with those beautiful hazel eyes, waiting for me to speak. I took a deep breath.
"I just…I don't know what you think of me, Fred," I began slowly, picking my words carefully. Fred looked puzzled but didn't say anything. He seemed to be waiting for me to continue. I forced myself to look him in the eye. "I mean, you talk to me one day, then you don't speak to me for weeks. When we would write to each other over the summer last year, we had great conversations, but then you would just stop replying. It's just very confusing and…" I stopped abruptly so I wouldn't risk saying too much.
Fred raised his eyebrows slightly. "Well Hermione…" he seemed to be choosing his words even more carefully than I. "I just want to say right now that I don't hate you, so that isn't why. In fact, I went through periods when I liked you maybe a little too much, so I would back off a bit…but then I had that thing with Angelina so I'm over it now," he added hastily as he noticed my shocked expression.
He was over me now, huh? "I…I see," I whispered. I looked away from him and looked out the window so he wouldn't see the little tears that began to form in my eyes.
"So, are we okay?" he asked me tentatively.
No, we most certainly are NOT okay, you tell me you liked me and got over me when I've been in LOVE with you for five years, I wanted to say. But instead I looked at the ground, nodded, and whispered "yeah."
Fred smiled and pulled me into a brief but tight hug before returning downstairs. I remained on the landing for a few more moments before going upstairs to the room Ginny and I shared, putting a Silencing Charm on the door, and sat on my bed crying out my anger, my sadness, my confusion, everything I had been keeping pent up for so long came rushing out my eyes in a torrent.
March 21, 1993
I woke up at 3 a.m. in Gryffindor Tower to find my face covered in tears and my whole body shaking, with Ginny sitting on the edge of my bed, looking concerned.
"Hermione…are you…all right?" she whispered. "What is it?"
I sighed and wiped the tears off my face and took several deep breaths before replying. "Nothing," I whispered back. "Just a dream. I'll tell you about it later, Gin." I pulled my blankets tighter around me and turned over so I wasn't facing her.
Ginny was silent for a moment. "It's about Fred, isn't it?" she asked, a knowing tone in her voice.
My stomach dropped. "Later," I replied. I felt her weight leave my bed after a moment, and she didn't press the issue. One of the great things about her. I lay in my bed for the next few hours, wondering how she knew I liked Fred, and how I was going to explain to her the dream I'd just had that made me wake up in tears.
I didn't see Ginny until lunch that day. Everyone was in the Great Hall enjoying another magnificent Hogwarts meal. Harry and Ron were talking to Fred and George about Skiving Snackboxes, and Ginny was sitting a few places down from me. I sat away from the others, picking at my food. Whenever I looked in Fred's general direction, I would remember the dream I had had that morning, and my eyes would fill with tears. After a while I couldn't fight them anymore, and they spilled over the edge and landed on the white linen tablecloth. Ginny looked over and saw me crying. She immediately got up and came over to me and pulled me into a tight hug. I let her hug me for a while and let myself cry into her shoulder, not really giving a damn who was looking at me. Ginny let me cry for a few minutes before actually speaking.
"Are you ready to talk now, Hermione?" she asked quietly. I nodded slowly, and even though my head was in her shoulder I could feel stares coming from the boys' direction, and I could feel Ginny mouthing the words "she's crying" back to them. Then she released me and led me down to an empty end of the Gryffindor table and sat down next to me.
"So…what's been the matter, Hermione?" she asked worriedly. "And what happened this morning, can I do anything to help?"
I looked at her and immediately knew she could be trusted with this. "Well," I replied, "you were right, it was about Fred. I'm in love with him."
Ginny looked surprised, but not as much as I thought she would. "How long?" she whispered.
I had already admitted to my best friend that I was in love with her brother, I figured I might as well tell the complete truth. "Five years," I answered. "Ever since I first saw him on my first day here."
Ginny still looked slightly surprised, but sympathy had found its way onto her face as well. "Wow, and he has no idea?" I shook my head. Ginny's eyes turned sad as she comprehended what I was feeling. "It must've been awful when he was with Angelina," she said.
I nodded. "When I found out, I didn't speak for three days."
Ginny nodded in understanding. "So tell me, what was your dream about this morning? It must've been terrible if it made you wake up crying," she said.
I took a deep breath. "Well, there was this new girl named Brianna," I began. "She didn't really have many friends so we let her hang out with us. One day at lunch, we were all sitting together when Fred came over and started flirting with her, right in front of me. I was only able to endure it for so long before I had to get up, push past him, and go out into the corridor where I just started crying. That's when I woke up."
Ginny didn't say anything for a moment, her head was slightly bowed. After a few moments she looked up at me, her eyes were sparkling with tears. "You must love Fred very much, don't you?" she asked.
I slowly nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I do," I answered honestly. "But he has no idea how much I love him and how much he means to me." I looked at my watch and saw that I had to get to Muggle Studies. I picked my bag up off the ground and stood to leave. Ginny stood with me. "And Gin," I added, "Please don't tell anyone what I've just told you."
Ginny shook her head. "Wouldn't dream of it Hermione. See you later." She turned and went back to sit with Harry and her brothers, all of whom had questioning and confused looks on their faces. I trusted her not to breathe a word. I turned and left the Great Hall and walked to class, not saying a word to anyone along the way.
Nearly an hour later, I was still in Muggle Studies. Even though I had been raised by Muggles and already knew everything, I always paid the utmost attention and took notes like everyone else. But not today. As good as it had felt to tell someone what had been bothering me without being judged, my thoughts kept wandering back to Fred, who, I had heard from Katie Bell, had been flirting with Angelina again, and that he still had deep feelings for her for whatever reason. That slutty bitch was flirting back with him, along with half their year and sleeping around with the other half. For perhaps the first time in my life, I gave up trying to pay attention to Professor Burbage. I sighed, needing some other way to vent my feelings. I turned to a blank page in my notebook and began to write:
All the small things you do
Are what really make my day,
The genuine smiles you give me,
And the sweet things that you say.
You're everything I look for:
Smart, funny, and nice.
Some days I see you looking at me,
But you've never once looked twice.
I don't know what you see in HER,
Would she ever be there for you?
The answer is no, of course not,
She doesn't care like I do.
I'm the girl you're looking for,
I'm not even in disguise.
So why can't you see
What's right before your eyes?
I've cried myself to sleep over you
Because you just don't seem to see
Just how far I'd go for you,
And what you mean to me.
I finished writing just as the bell rang, I quickly copied down my homework assignment and went back up to the common room.
The common room was bathed in a warm glow when I entered through the portrait hole, everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Across the room I saw Angelina getting all up close and personal with some other seventh year and I suddenly had a tremendous urge to march over and slap her in the face as hard as I possibly could. However, I gritted my teeth and forced myself to keep walking toward my dormitory; I didn't feel like sitting with Ron and the others. As I passed the House bulletin board, a notice with flashing gold and silver lettering caused me to stop and see what it said:
The "My Life, My Story" Project
Thursday, April 16th from 4-6 pm in the Great Hall
Come see your classmates' artwork and watch
them sing, dance, or recite poetry telling their stories.
I smiled to myself as I made up my mind about how Fred and the others might slightly begin to understand how I had been feeling lately. I practically ran up the stairs to my dormitory, threw my bag on my bed, and took out my notebook again. For once, I had more important work to do than homework. As I cast my mind around for inspiration, I remembered the Yule Ball last year. I remembered how Angelina had stayed with Fred for maybe the first two songs, then left him on the sidelines while she went off with her friends, and came crawling back to him only when the slow songs began to play. I remembered watching them dance, and watching helplessly as she pressed her lips to his, and the pain I had felt. I dipped my quill in my ink bottle and began to write once again. Homework would have to wait.
April 16, 1993
My notebook had become considerably more full over the past few weeks. I had been writing more and more poems in Muggle Studies, all of which were written about Fred. He had no idea, of course, not many people even knew I had been writing poetry. But all of that was about to change at about 5:45 tonight.
I met in the Great Hall with all the other people who would be performing that night. I was incredibly surprised to see Fred there, but even more surprised when I found out that he too was going to be reciting poetry of his own creation. I sat down at a table in front with a few friends of mine from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, interested very much now in how the show would play out tonight.
Fred was one of the first acts of the evening, and I made sure everyone at my table was quiet so I could hear all of what he was saying. He read a poem about love, but using words related to Muggle chemistry (ex. Bonds, chemistry, elements joining together, etc.) instead of words about love. His words were so deep and meaningful, I found myself extremely moved, and at one point wishing that what he was saying was about me. But then I realized that he was more likely talking about Angelina, and I felt a small bubble of fury somewhere inside me. And mind you, he and Angelina weren't even together, she was still sleeping around, being her slutty self, not giving him the time of day. Yet here he was, reading about true love with chemistry references about her, when I had been right there for him for as long as I'd known him. It was so ridiculous, I thought to myself, that he never saw the girl he really deserved, yet I cried over him for years! I quickly got my notebook and quill out again and furiously scribbled down another poem that I would read that evening.
When Fred finished reading his poems, I applauded politely along with the rest of the students and staff that had shown up to watch the performances. Fred came and sat down at my table. I told him that he had done a great job and that his poems were amazing. He smiled and said a sincere "thank you" before we turned and watched the show.
I only had to wait a few more performances after Fred's before it was my turn. I gathered the two poems I was going to read and stood up. Fred watched me rise, and, remembering how much I hate talking in front of others, whispered "good luck, it's really easy." I smiled at him and walked up to the microphone. This was it.
"Hi," I began, trying not to let my voice shake too much. "Umm, I'm going to be reading some poems that I've been writing in Muggle Studies over the last few weeks." This got a laugh from the audience, and when I spoke again, my voice was stronger. "They're about a guy who's been in my life for a while, and while the poems are very different, the emotions are real." And with that I unfolded the poem I had written the night I had decided to participate in this performance:
She left you all alone
For the whole entire night.
I felt so bad for you,
I kept you in my sight.
I wanted to ask you for just one dance,
But she came crawling back to you.
To her, you're just a safety net,
She doesn't care like I do.
I sat alone and watched you dance,
Determined not to let you see
The tears that said I really wished
That you were dancing with me.
Just seeing you around her
Is almost too much for me to take.
If I ever lost you to her,
I'd know the meaning of true heartbreak.
I can see that she's not good for you,
She won't be there when you need her,
Or listen to the things you say.
Even though you don't see it, it'll always be me, not her,
Who'll be there at the end of the day.
The audience applauded politely, but some people, particularly the girls my age, applauded louder. I guess they understood the feeling. Encouraged by their reaction, I went to my second poem, the poem I had written while Fred was performing:
I always thought that you would be
The one person worth waiting for.
But I honestly don't know
Why I'm waiting anymore.
You'll never truly care about me,
Never feel the way I do.
If you can't see that I was always there,
Then that bitch can have you.
I'm tired of fighting a losing battle,
I miss seeing the sun.
I'm tired of all this pointless crying.
After all this time, I'm done.
Not only did I get applause, but I even got a few cheers as I walked back to my table. As I sat back down, I noticed Fred flipping through my notebook filled with poems, all of which were about him. He looked up as I sat down.
"Hey, nice job," he said quietly. "That was… really deep."
I smiled. "Thanks Fred, you did a very good job yourself." Then I stood, closed my notebook, bade him goodnight, and left the Hall, feeling that I was over him at last.
May 2, 1993
I thought that I had finally let Fred go, after everything I had gone through. Boy, was I wrong. I've finally realized that no matter what I do, no matter what I say, I'll always have feelings on some level for him. I realized that as he and George did what the rest of us wished we could do, and flew out into the world.
Today started out as just a normal day, I had met with Professor McGonagall to discuss what my options for my future were. I was walking back towards the common room when I heard some commotion in the corridor to my left. Curious, I went to investigate and was quite amazed by what I saw. The twins had created an enormous swamp right there in the middle of the corridor. Students were going nuts, cheering as loud as they could for the twins. Oh, Umbridge is going to love this, I thought to myself as I scanned the crowd for the old toad. Sure enough, her hideous froggy face was livid and stretched as far as it could go as she waddled her way toward them. The twins were standing just off to the side observing the whole spectacle, clearly very pleased with themselves. I moved closer to them as Umbitch approached, ready to defend them if I needed to. I watched in horror as Filch made his way over as well, brandishing a few pieces of parchment in the air.
"I've got the form, Headmistress," he wheezed, "I've got the form and whips waiting….oh let me do it now…." I had never seen Filch looking so happy.
"Very good, Argus," Umbridge said, a horrible smile crossing her face. "You two," she turned back back to the twins, "are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school," she leered.
Fred and George looked back at her without fear. "You know what?" Fred said. "I don't think we are. George, I think we've outgrown full-time education."
"Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," George replied lightly.
"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?" asked Fred.
George nodded. "Definitely."
Then they simultaneously raised their wands and shouted "Accio Brooms!"
I heard a loud crash in the distance and watched in awe as two brooms, their brooms, came flying through the air to them, stopping in front of them, almost like they were as eager to leave as they were.
Fred mounted his broomstick. "We won't be seeing you," he said to Umbridge.
"Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch," George added as he swung his leg over his own broom.
Fred looked around at the huge crowd. "If anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp," he said loudly, and his eyes locked on mine, "come to ninety-three Diagon Alley- Weasley's Wizard Wheezes! Our new premises!"
"Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat," George finished, pointing at Umbridge, who seemed to be frozen, she was so angry.
At long last she found her voice. "STOP THEM!" Umbridge screamed shrilly.
The Inquisitorial Squad closed in, but Fred and George were too quick for them. They shot up on their brooms about 15 feet into the air. Fred turned to Peeves the Poltergeist, who had been rolling around in midair, clearly enjoying all the ruckus. "Give her hell from us, Peeves," he said. Peeves sprang into a salute, and Fred looked back down at me for a moment, a tender look in his eyes, before zooming out the doors with George, away from Hogwarts, away from Umbridge, away from Angelina, and away from me.
I smiled to myself as I realized that Fred, at long last, might actually love me back, and that no matter what I said or did, I would always love him too.
July 15, 1993
I was at the Burrow once again with the family that was so dear to me. Fred and George, although they weren't able to visit during the day due to their very successful shop, stopped by for supper a few nights a week and would Apparate back to their flat for the night. Tonight had been one such night, we all laughed and talked and joked together, but there was a new tenderness between me and Fred that I'm not sure anyone, not even George knew about. There was a new affection in his eyes when he looked at me, and in his voice when he spoke to me. He would spend nearly the whole evening talking with me, and only Apparating back with George when he absolutely had to.
Darkness fell shortly after they left, an I soon retired to their old bedroom to start getting ready for bed. I didn't have to share a room with Ginny anymore now that Fred and George had left, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley said I could use it until Harry came in a few days. I turned out the light after pulling on my lavender tank top and lacey shorts, thinking about this new connection Fred and I had. I had just begun to drift off to sleep, when-
CRACK!
The sound of someone Apparating caused me to jolt upright, cover myself with a sheet and turn on the light.
"Fred!" I gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"Ssh!" Fred hissed, putting a finger to his lips. "Quiet, d'you want to wake everyone?" He crossed over to my bed and sat down on the edge. "George is asleep. I just had to come back and see you. Alone," he said. "Nice pajamas, by the way," he added, nodding at my shimmery lavender top. I hadn't even realized I had let the sheet fall away from my body.
Then, before I knew what was happening, Fred grabbed me and held me tightly to him. "I've missed you so much, Hermione," he whispered in my ear.
My arms encircled him, pulling him equally tight to me. "I've missed you too, Fred," I whispered back. I felt his arms tighten around me.
"Hermione," he whispered oh-so-softly. "Hermione, I've had a lot of time to think and…well, I can't believe I didn't realize you were always there for me at Hogwarts, and even now. I don't know what I saw in Angelina, she never treated me right and I'm quite certain she had multiple STD's that she did not get from me. But you were always there, and I never saw it. Hermione…" he pulled back just enough to look into my eyes, to say the words I had been aching to hear for so long. "I love you." There was no doubting his sincerity.
I gazed back into his beautiful hazel eyes and smiled. "Fred, you don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that," I whispered. "I love you too. It's always been you, Fred."
Fred gave me a small smile and planted a kiss on my lips. As he began to pull away I held his face in my hands and kissed him back, hardly believing this wasn't a dream. As we kissed, he pulled me onto him so that I was straddling his hips and his hands moved slowly down my lower back and thighs. I deepened the kiss further, gently pushing my tongue past his lips and into his moist and sweet tasting mouth. He was unable to hold back a soft moan as his hands slid under my shirt and up my back. Realizing where this would probably wind up going, I forced myself to break our kiss, earning a puzzled and slightly irritated look from him as I grabbed my wand and stood up.
I pointed my wand at the door, locked it, and cast a Silencing Charm so no one could overhear us. I turned back to Fred with a mischievous smile playing at my lips. "Now we really are alone," I whispered. Fred smiled and stood up. Kissing me again for all he was worth, he picked me up and carried me bridal style back to the bed and gently set me down. He lay down beside me, not once breaking our kiss. When we finally pulled apart to gasp for air, he noticed the desire in my eyes. "All in due time, 'Mione," he whispered, a hint of seductiveness now in his voice. He then reached down and gently pulled away my short pajama bottoms and lacy underwear, and I realized that somehow he had taken off both our shirts, and had stripped down to his boxers. How had I not noticed that before? Then he reached down and pulled down his own boxers, and then there was nothing between us but our bare skin. He kissed me softly on my stomach, slowly making his way up to my chest and neck, before gently pressing his lips to mine once more. When he pulled away again I knew what was going to come next.
"Fred," I whispered," just so you know, I've never done this before."
Fred smiled gently and leaned down to my ear. "Don't worry, love," he whispered reassuringly. "I would never hurt you. If it's too much, tell me and I'll stop. I love you, Hermione Granger."
I nodded. Fred pulled back and positioned himself between my legs. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the blissful fantasy that had finally become reality.
July 16, 1993
I woke up a bit early the next morning. I felt Fred's arm draped gently over my hip, and everything from last night cam rushing back to me: Fred Apparating in my room, the kiss, his hot breath on my bare skin, the writhing, moaning, and gasping as he thrust deep into me, giving me the more wonderful feeling of all mankind.
I smiled as I turned and gazed at his beautiful sleeping face, his red hair splayed out on the pillow, his eyes fluttering gently in his dreams, his chest slowly rising and falling with each peaceful breath. I leaned over and gently kissed his eyelids, the end of his nose, and finally just barely touching my lips to his. As I kissed hi I felt him stir, and then a small smile as he gently kissed me back.
"Good morning," I whispered after we broke apart.
Fred's eyes fluttered open at my voice. "Morning, beautiful," he whispered back. "What time is it?"
I turned and looked at the clock on the bedside table. "Almost 8. D'you think anyone else is up yet? I answered.
Fred shook his head and stretched. "No, they shouldn't be waking up for another hour at least, so you'll have a bit of time to cover up that hickey."
My hands went up to my neck, as if I would be able to feel it. Fred laughed softly. "I, however, should probably get back to the shop," he said as he sat up, gasping slightly at the sudden cool air on his bare skin. "We open at 10 but George and I are usually up and around by 8:30 so we can get everything ready." He reluctantly got out of bed and started putting his clothes back on.
"Aww, Freddie, can't you stay for just a little longer?" I whined as I pulled the blankets tighter around me, The bed was colder without him with me.
Fred smiled and shook his head. "Sorry love, I would if I could. But…" he trailed off and looked down at me, his hazel eyes meeting my own brown ones. "You'll see me at dinner anyway, I'll be back before you know it." He knelt down next to the bed. "Listen Hermione, I love you and last night was amazing, but there's something that needs to be done. Would you like to go out with me sometime?"
I laughed. "Of course Fred, I'd love to. I love you too," I replied.
"Good," Fred beamed. "Now, I really do need to go, I'll see you tonight, though, all right?
"'Kay," I said. Fred leaned over and planted a final kiss on my lips.
"And don't worry," he whispered. "I won't tell anyone." Then he straightened up, went to the middle of the room, and with a loud CRACK, he was gone. I sighed and rolled out of bed myself shortly after, wondering how I was going to cover up the mark on my neck, and how I'd get through the day without letting on that I was finally with Fred Weasley.
The day passed by slowly, but I managed not to look TOO happy, although I think Ginny suspected that something was going on. Luckily, being the good friend that she is, she didn't say anything.
When Fred and George walked through the door that night, it took me every ounce of my willpower to not jump on Fred and assault him with a shower of kisses. I smiled as Fred passed me and gave me a wink. We sat side by side at dinner, quietly smiling to ourselves. It was a different feeling, having this secret between just the two of us, a bond no one but us knew about, connecting us deeper than before.
May 2, 1995
Fred and I had been dating for nearly 2 years, and everything was going perfectly. I woke up each morning with a smile on my face. But not now. Harry, Ron, myself, and the rest of the Order were at Hogwarts, and Voldemort was coming. We were all in the Room of Requirement, waiting with bated breath as we tried to devise a plan. When I heard the first explosions and screams in the corridor that signaled the start of the final battle, I couldn't keep myself from shaking. Fred noticed and pulled me to a corner of the room.
"Hermione, it'll be okay," he said, holding me closely to him. "And when it's all over, we'll meet up again. You just stay safe, okay? Be careful, promise me that you will?" he looked deep into my eyes.
"I…I promise, Fred," I whispered, feeling tears starting to prick my eyes. "But Fred, promise me that you'll be safe. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do."
Fred looked at me more seriously than ever before. "I promise, 'Mione. It'll be okay," he said. "Hermione…" he began tentatively.
"Yes?" I asked, running my hands up and down his strong arms, which were still wrapped around me.
Fred gently touched his forehead to mine. "When all this is over, will you marry me?" he asked.
I looked at him in surprise, because even though I had been accepted as part of his family, I had thought that he wanted to take things slowly. Nevertheless, I smiled the smile that he loved so much, the smile that he said lit up entire rooms. "Yes," I answered. I hugged him tighter than ever before. "I'll marry you."
Fred held my face in his hands and smiled as widely and wholeheartedly as I was. Maybe even more so. "Then we'll both have to come back from this battle," he said. He pressed his soft warm lips to mine. When we broke apart at long last, Harry and Ron were motioning for me to go with them. It was time to destroy some Horcruxes. I turned back to Fred, and he planted one final kiss on my forehead. "I love you so much, Hermione Granger," he said.
I looked into his beautiful hazel eyes one final time and quickly kissed his cheek. "Forever and ever, babe," I whispered as I slowly and reluctantly pulled away from him and went to the door to leave with Harry and Ron, but not before a single tear slid down my cheek and fell to the floor with a splash. With one glance back, I followed Harry and Ron into the corridor and the chaos that lay beyond, praying that Fred was right, and that we would be together again after everything was done.
May 3, 1995
There was an air of peace as the sun rose over the mountains in the distance. It was over. Voldemort was finally gone, we had done it. Harry had gone off on his own for a few minutes, and Ron had gone upstairs to try and get some sleep. I was exhausted myself, but I refused to let myself sleep until I was in Fred's arms once more.
I turned away from the sunrise and went back into the castle, not even consciously knowing where I was going. It was only when I opened the doors to the Great Hall did I realize where I was. I scanned the huge Hall, looking for the beloved redheaded family, but it was hard as there were so many families packed so tightly together. When I finally managed to locate them, one of the twins turned, saw me, and burst into tears. He detached himself from his family and ran toward me as fast as he could, tears streaming down his face. I started hyperventilating, terrified that it was George coming to tell me that something had happened to Fred. My knees started to give out under me, but the twin running toward me caught me just before I hit the ground and pulled me to him so tightly I swear I felt my ribs crack a bit. I still had no idea who it was, but his body was shaking with sobs. It wasn't until after I was crying too that he finally spoke.
"Hermione…Hermione…" he choked out. "I…"
I looked up and saw that it was Fred that was holding me so tightly and was sobbing so hard. I silenced him by kissing him with everything I had. Fred pulled me, if possible, even closer to him and picked me up so we could kiss better. The world seemed to disappear, and the only thing that I was aware of was Fred's lips crashing against mine, fitting together perfectly. We broke apart only when our lungs were screaming for air.
"Fred…" I gasped as soon as I could breathe again. "Are you…"
"I'm fine," he gasped back. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Fred, is everyone okay?"
"Yes," he answered. "But…oh, 'Mione, it was so hard not knowing where you were, if you were dead or alive, it was so horrible."
I wrapped my arms around his broad back. "I know Freddie, I thought I'd never see you again, even though we said we both had to come back, I couldn't bear it if I lost you," I sobbed.
Fred kissed the tears off my face. "Do you still want to marry me?" he asked quietly.
I smiled through my tears. "Fred, I've wanted to marry you since I first say you on Platform 9 ¾ in my first year. You could have asked me then if I would marry you and even then I would say yes," I replied softly, wiping the tears off his face.
Fred smiled and kissed me again. "Well then," he said, "I guess we'd better go tell Mum so she can help us start planning." I laughed, and he slid his arm around my waist as we walked over to his family, his family that would soon be my family too. I had never been so happy. My years of waiting were finally proving to be worth it.
~19 Years Later~
It was a cool, crisp morning as we walked into King's Cross station on September 1st. A little 5 year old girl with beautiful ginger curls clung to my right hand, Fred holding my left. Walking a few feet ahead of us were our 2 11 year old twins, Liam and Lucas, their identical shaggy brown hair getting ruffled from the breeze. The stopped just before the reach platforms 9 and 10 with their trunks and owls and looked hesitantly back at Fred and I. We smiled and nodded encouragingly back at them, and they ran through the barrier to Platform 9 3/4 . Fred motioned for me to go next, and, with our daughter Natalie still clinging to my arm, I crossed through to the magical platform for the first time in more than 20 years.
A rush of memories can flooding back to me as I inhaled the familiar smell of the smoke coming from the Hogwarts Express; the first time I met Harry and Ron, the first time I saw the man that was now my husband and fell in love with him, it all came rushing back.
I snapped back to reality when I felt Fred come up behind me and place his hand on my waist. The unborn baby boy inside my swollen belly nudged me, almost as if he were already anxious to go to Hogwarts. I smiled and Fred took my hand again as we walked over to Lucas and Liam, who were standing with Harry, Ginny, Ron, and his wife Claire, along with Harry and Ginny's children, Albus, James, and Lily, and Ron and Claire's kids Rose and Hugo. Albus and Rose were starting their first year at Hogwarts as well. Natalie detached herself from my arm and flung herself at Liam and squeezed him tightly.
"No! Liam, Lucas, don't go, I'll miss you!" she cried as Liam desperately tried to pry his sister off him, to no avail.
Fred laughed and went to help free Liam from Natalie's death grip. "They'll be home before you know it, Natty. And it won't be long before you'll be going too."
"Yeah, don't worry little sister, we'll write to you a lot too," Lucas chimed in. "You won't even notice we're gone in a few months when you'll have a new brother in the house."
Fred chuckled and gently patted my stomach. "That's right, and then in 11 years little Oliver will be going too," he said.
Natty sniffed, "But I'll still miss you."
Liam, finally free from her grip went to stand next to his brother. "Don't worry, we'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!" he said, sharing a mischievous grin with Lucas.
Natalie laughed. "Liam!" I exclaimed.
"Just joking, Mum."
I sighed and shook my head. Like father like sons. The train whistle blew. It was 10:58. Fred and I both hugged the twins goodbye and I planted kisses on both their heads, much to their great embarrassment.
"Mum…stopit…!"
"Mum, geroff me…"
I laughed and let them go as they rejoined James, Albus, and Rose to board the train. "Behave yourselves!" I called to their retreating backs.
"No promises, Mum!" Lucas called back.
I rolled my eyes as Fred laughed. "They're just like you and George," I said, turning to him.
Fred nodded. "Yeah, we're both so proud," he said. "And they'll REALLY be like we were once they find the Punching Telescopes, Ton-Tongue Toffees, and Canary Creams in their trunks…" he smirked, casting a sideways glance at me.
I sighed. "All right, but if we get a letter saying they've been wreaking havoc, you're grounded too," I replied. Fred laughed.
The train gave one final whistle and lurched forward. I saw Liam and Lucas looking out the window at us, their faces already ablaze with identical looks of excitement. Fred, Natalie and I all waved to them as the train gained speed and rounded the corner.
Natalie once again attached herself to me as we turned to leave the platform, Fred's fingers intertwined with mine. It's funny how things work out, I though to myself. I never thought that Fred would love me back, yet here we were, married for 17 years with 3 children, and a fourth on the way. I could never have asked for more out of life. All was well.
~~Phew! That was a LOT of writing, took up 20 pages in my notebook and 20 pages on my computer. Thank you so much for reading this story through to the end, I really and truly appreciate it. All Harry Potter quotes and characters belong to The Queen, J.K. Rowling. Don't forget to review, and I will talk to you all soon. Adieu for now, my friends! ~~