A/N: So I was reading bleach fanfiction when I came across this idea of the characters reacting to fanfiction, writing very strongly worded and...strange letters. So I thought, why not try Naruto? I'll be doing most of the characters, I'll try to do them all. Any Ideas, thoughts, comments are appreciated ^^ Anyway, this chapter is more of a test and feel first. Later chapters and parts will...PROPERLY address things. BTW pairing fans, please no hate, this is just for fun on what I think the characters would say. I personally am a NaruHina ShikaIno fan but I respect NaruSaku NaruSasu and SaiIno ShikaTema fans. WARNING may contain spoilers ^^ ENJOY!

Ch 1: Naruto pt 1

Dear Naruto fanfiction authors,

HI! DATTEBAYO! =^-^=

Although I'm glad you guys are enjoying my show and taking it upon yourselves to be creative...there are a few things I'd like to address...

Although I am glad you guys pair me with Sakura and Hinata...yeah thats it. Keep it with Sakura and Hinata please. I mean its pretty obvious Sakura likes Sasuke, and I'm okay with that I mean Sasuke's strong and smart and-

OK back to the point! Those are the only two I will EVER choose from and it's obvious I will choose Hinata I mean, she's liked me for a while and I like girls like her so yeah! Dattebayo!

I just need to make sure Neji doesn't kill me for going out with his cousin...

ANYWAY!

I mean seriously, me and Ino? Since WHEN have we ever had an ACTUAL convo? I mean we only talk whenever Shikamaru is around and that's because we are comrades and work well together! NO OTHER REASON!

ALSO! I AM NOT GAY! I DO NOT SWING THAT WAY GUYS! SERIOUSLY!? NARUSASU!?

The only reason I was so determined to get Sasuke was because he was my friend and i didn't want Orochimaru to use him. Just because we make a killer team DOESN'T mean we have feelings for each other!

But you have to admit we do make a killer team-

GAH! ITS NOT LIKE I LIKE HIM OR ANYTHING! BAKAYERO!

Like I said, I don't swing that way. Not for him, not for Gaara, not Shikamaru, not Neji, not for that perv KAKASHI. NO ONE! DATTEBAYO!

I mean sure I respected Neji, he was cool, he was strong and everything but I DO NOT have feelings for him! I mean, one; I'm not GAY!

Two; I'M NOT GAY!

AND three...just imagine me having to deal with an angry Neji because I broke his heart since I chose HIM and not his cousin?! *Shudders*

Also, Gaara? REALLY? I mean, sure I understand Gaara more than anyone in the world. We both have suffered for being Jinchurikis. BUT! THAT DOESNT MEAN IM IN LOVE WITH HIM!

Like I said...I AM NOT GAY!

AND SAI? DID YOU NOT SEE ME PUSH HIM AWAY WHEN HE WAS BEING A WEIRDO! AND NO I DIDNT SECRETLY ENJOY IT!

Honestly, his shirts are alittle TOO short but since hes a member of Team Kakashi, I overlook it.

AND AS FOR KAKASHI!

NO! Just...just NO! I'm pretty sure its illegal!

But, since I'm the main character I guess I get paired with everyone. WHAT. THE HELL MAN? DATTEBAYO!

In conclusion, I'm not gay, Sakura likes Sasuke and I like Hinata. DEAL WITH IT!

Yours truly,

NARUTO UZUMAKI! BELIEVE IT! DATTEBAYO! =^-^=

P.S. As for the rumors about the Ramen Guy...I'd only ever be with him for the ramen! NOTHING ELSE! I'm in love with the Ramen!

Hope you enjoyed! the little faces =^-^= are emotes for naruto. the = are his whiskers!