Author's note: This is an attempt to write fanfiction however I cannot promise that it will be any good. Please read and let me know where improvements can be made but only constructive criticism please! The characters do not belong to me I am simply borrowing them. All rights are exclusive to CBS and Donald Bellasario.
A Reminder of the not so Lonely Past
This week has been one of the worst ever with cases that never see, to end and just when it seems like there will be light at the end of the tunnel here comes yet another case that is more terrible that the last. I suppose the straw that broke the camels back so to speak would have to be when we caught the case of the five year old girl that was beaten, raped and murdered. It was so hard not to just run away screaming even for me and I have seen just about everything that there is to see. Being a LEO one sees so much that a person begins to wonder if there is anything decent about humanity.
Of course Gibbs is furious because it bring back emotions that although have always been hidden have never really healed. This is going to be another long week so much for trying to relax and just forget everything because I don't think I will ever be able to forget this picture as long as I live. I never realized that there would ever be a time when I would despise a camera and film simply because of the necessary purpose that it serves. As I am photographing the scene I notice a locket that I thought I would never see again. It is in the shape of a teddy bear and it has angel wings on it with a garnet in the center of it. Maybe it was her birthstone so she was born in January something to look into if only we knew who this poor little girl is.
It has been three days and there are no missing persons reports that match our victim and there are no traces of DNA anywhere hopefully the killer made a mistake somewhere because there is no way in hell that I want to have to let this case go cold. I think it would be my destruction because there is only so many times that a case can go cold and not affect me. I am so quiet that my teammates are unsure of how to handle it. They seem to think that I cannot feel and that things simply pass me by because I always laugh and joke but for the first time in a long time I find that I just cannot keep up the normal façade that I use. It is a mask that has been carefully constructed over time in order to keep me safe because will anyone really want to know the real me. The man who goes home and cries every night because of things in his past that he cannot dare share because people will think that he is crazy. My soul is in chaos at the memories but how do I force them into the box that they belong in.
We have finally identified our little girl her name is Selena Dawn Brady and her parents were away on a business trip to Italy. Her uncle was supposed to be looking after her but he is nowhere to be found. The coldness from the parents reminds me of all the times my father had better things to do than be with me. If I tried to tell him that I loved him all I would get was indifference for my trouble so I simply quit saying the words and locked them away promising myself that no one would ever hear them unless they were well earned. The parents give us nothing that will help us accept the name of the uncle and as it turns out he is a registered sex offender. What kind of parents could do such a thing to an innocent little girl my mind seems to be screaming? I run from the conference room because I simply cannot handle anymore and Gibbs of course looks in my direction and I do not even bother to answer him. He can yell at me later but right now I just need to hide away for a while. I cannot afford to let anyone see how much this affects me because I keep thinking of my young friend that was eleven when her uncle hurt her. At least her mother pretended to care enough to cut off contact with the brother but her scars never healed.
I can remember her never really being able to trust me even though I was her best friend. She always tried to be so strong because it was not acceptable to be anything else. She would never look at me in my eyes like she was so afraid that I would hurt her even though we had known each other of our lives. Angelica was a beautiful girl even though she was a little on the bigger side. She had eyes that were like sapphires and a heart of gold that became so cold and distant after her uncle hurt her. I have not heard from her in years but maybe I should try to find her to see what she is up to these days. Maybe she found her prince charming like she has always deserved. I truly hope so.
Dinozzo, "What made you leave so fast from the conference room?" Gibbs asked. "Boss, it is a long story but this case reminds me of a girl that I knew growing up." I tell him. "Talk to me about her because she obviously meant something to you." He said. I think about it for the longest time and I notice that he is just sitting there waiting for me to start talking. The question is do I take that step to let someone close to me. I mean this is Angelica's story and I am not sure that I should trust anyone with it. Finally I decide that she would not mind and I start to tell my current close friend about my childhood best friend.
When I was younger I met this girl that lived across the street from us. Her name was Angelica and she was very shy. We got to know each other over the years and we would tell each other everything her mother was verbally abusive and my father just ignored me so everything was crazy but we got along with each other fine. She was a year younger than me and I always wanted to look after her like she was my little sister. So one day this guy comes to visit her and her family and she tells me later that it was her Uncle Robert. He is her mom's only brother and they have been out of touch for a few years. Plans are made for her and her sister to spend the summer with him in North Carolina. They go and when Angelica comes back I immediately notice the change. She does not hug me like she always did whenever we see each other. I cannot get her to look me in the eye either. It worries me so I ask her to talk to me. It takes a while but she does tell me but the sad thing is that her mother will not believe her. It made me so angry and so I tell Angelica that I will help her in any way possible. When we went to school the next day I went to the guidance counselor's office and told them about my friend and what had happened. Where is your friend maybe we can help her? The counselor says. She will not come willingly because she is too afraid and ashamed. She thinks that no one but me will believe her.
A few days later a social worker goes to Angelica's house and they get her mother to listen. Angelica is taken to a doctor and it is discovered that she was touched but that her virginity was left intact. It does not make the whole thing any less humiliating for her. She has to tape her statement with the social workers but after that it is like it all goes away. She never found out until later that her mother was still talking to him and that he was in prison for bank robbery. It is only then that she realizes that the only thing he was charged with was indecency with a minor. Big deal I remember Angelica saying considering all that he took from me it is such a small price to pay for him. "Tony, why is it that men think that they can do whatever they want to a girl and never have to pay the price for it?" She asked me and then Boss I did not have an answer for her but I will never forget the pain in those beautiful eyes of hers. The way Selena's parents did not seem to care about what happened to her made me want to kick something just like when Angelica's uncle basically got off easy for what he did to her. "Where is Angelica now, Tony have you heard from her lately?" Gibbs asked. "I have no idea where she is now but I would love to find out just to see what ever happened to her. We got separated when I got sent off to boarding school. "Tony replied. Well if you ever find her let me know so I can meet her said Gibbs. I will and thanks Boss for not yelling at me said Tony.
Looking back I realize that the reason I was never lonely as a child is because of Angelica. I have to find her so that I can thank her for always being there if nothing else. What happened to her made me want to become a cop so that I could look after all of the innocent people in the world like her. I wonder if she will even remember me after all of these years. Only time will tell.
Well Tony, "Where do you plan to go from here?" Gibbs asked.
"I don't know Boss, where do you think that I should start, I mean I would not even know where to start since it has been so long. "
"Remember Tony, the case has to come first but, if you really want to find Angelica then maybe in your spare time you could recruit Abby and McGee to help trace where Angelica is now."