Now, this... This is a collection of random, retarded, stupid Naruto-based one-shots, most of them probably done in school during boring classes or whenever an idea hits me in the face like a rotten tuna with maggots hanging out of it's eyes.
Right, so. Now for that little...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, you should know that.
Now, let's get on with the utter stupidity.
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Title: Why Deidara Doesn't Take Advantage of His Hand-Mouths. Anymore.
Setting: Iwagakure, when Deidara is living with his parents, whoever the hell they may be, before running off and joining the Akatsuki.
Inspiration?: Some post I saw on LiveJournal coupled with the mention of porn magazines in a roleplay. :D
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It was just another night in Iwagakure. Deidara sat alone in his room as he usually did. His parents were out... And he had snuck a few naughty magazines from his father's room the night before.
... And was now looking through them, one hand down his pants as he used his clan's quirky little feature for something it wasn't quite meant for.
So distracted was he, that he didn't hear the front door open downstairs.
He didn't hear the foot-steps as they started up the stairs...
Nor did he notice them as they stopped by his bedroom door.
... Which opened, a woman's voice breaking through the ecstacy-filled moans - "Son, have you seen the - OH MY FUCKING GOD!"
... Well, he heard THAT.
And what did his poor, abused little hand-mouth do in surprise?
That's right. It clamped down on him.
Hard.
The scream heard althroughout Iwagakure that night woke even the more deepest of sleepers.