"See you later," I said to Kei who lay on the floor, bloody and crying. I got to my feet, slung my nail bat over my shoulder and began to leave for the other world. They would be fine. I was leaving Faye in charge and he would make sure to take great care of them. He was one of the most dependable guys I knew, he would do great. Of that I was sure.

"Don't Go!" I heard their shouts and started to run. I was determined to do this. I would stop those vampires form crossing over, I would be the hero. Even if it hurt them…even if they hated me afterwards and forever more….This was something I HAD to do. This was why I ran. I hope I can keep this promise.

I winced, trying to bandage my bloodied mess of a neck. Finishing up the last of that roll I reached behind me to grab a second. "Damn," I turned my head slightly and confirmed what I knew to be true. I was out of bandages. Painfully, I got to my feet and staggered my way out of the run-down hospital I'd found shelter in about three days ago. Once out in the hallway I grabbed my thigh, silently crying out in pain as I felt the makeshift stitches tear and the wound re-open, it was bleeding once again. Using an old abandoned pocket knife I'd found I tore at the stitches and pulled them out painfully. They were no use now.

I limped out of the hospital, falling here and there, and quickly picking myself up. This part of town was much more abandoned, my guess because they were going to tear it down and fix it up later. There were virtually no people around except for the occasional thug and passerby human or vampire. Either way I did my best to stay out of sight. It had been four days since I'd come back from there. It had been so long since I'd left this place, left to go fight, to save my friends. I wonder if they hate me. It would probably be a miracle if they even remembered me after all this time. How much time has it been exactly?

I chuckled lightly at the thought but it came out choked and ended in a bout of coughing, some blood spilling from my mouth. Why couldn't places like this have hospitals that were closer together? Trying to turn into the next hidden alley, I tripped and fell over the broken sidewalk. Instinctively I threw my hands out to cushion the fall and just barely held back the scream of pain once my palms crashed against the cement, sliding a bit, making my already injured right arm throb. I lay there, half on the cement sidewalk and half on the asphalt of the road.

I'd shut my eyes tightly during my fall but now opened them. The first thing I saw was the burned and torn remnants of the blue ribbon Lydi had tied around my wrist before I'd left. Thinking about Lydi, small Lydi who'd told me to make sure to come back and return that ribbon, made my throat burn. I tore my eyes from it and let my vision trail up my arm and land on the still unhealed wound starting just below my elbow. It was throbbing from the impact of my landing. Just seeing it brought back horrible memories of how I'd become this way, memories of my fighting in that world.

"Hyyaaaahhhh!" I cried as I swung the stolen blade left and right trying to hit the vampire in front of me. It dodged every blow, however, and grabbed my arm. My eyes widened as I saw its fangs lengthen and dig painfully into the pale flesh of my upper arm where my sleeve had once been. I gasped from the pain and the sensation of having blood drained from me but I wasn't going to let it suck me dry. I, quickly as I could, bit down on the hand holding my arm, not intending to draw blood, and then tore my arm away once its grip had been released. I grit my teeth so hard I bled but it was nothing compared to the pain in my arm. It stung more than a thousand needles pricking my arm. The vampire's fangs, when I'd torn my arm away, had still been in my arm and dragged along my arm, releasing just below my elbow.

Growling I grabbed the stolen blade once more and tried to attack, cold determination in my eyes. I swung left and right with both hands but with little success. Losing so much blood was making me tired. I swung once more and managed to cause the vampire to trip. Smirking, I raised the blade high in the air above my head and brought it down as hard as I could aiming for its head. "Oof," I grunted as someone from behind kicked me at about chest level, sending me sprawling to the ground. I scrambled quickly to get up, trying to get the sword which had flown out of my hands, but the vampire who'd ambushed me from behind merely stepped on my hand. "Aaahhh!" I winced and cried out, trying as hard as I could to get my hand free but to no avail. Just beyond the vampire's foot I saw Lydi's ribbon, once blue and nice-looking, stained with more blood than before, ruined.

Seeing the ribbon soaked in blood like that made me angrier than I'd been before. My throat burned in that horribly familiar way. I felt my fangs lengthen slightly and was panting. These two would die. I would kill them… I would…

I snapped out of my memory trance when my throat started to burn with thirst. "No," I murmured softly as I started to get up, ignoring the burn in the palms of my hands and my skinned knees. I needed to hurry out of here, find a place to fix myself up. I was wincing with every step as I walked down the abandoned alley but stopped and pressed myself as tightly as I could against the wall nearest me when I heard voices and footsteps heading my way.

"Did you hear?" a male voice said enthusiastically. I could smell that vampiric scent all over the two walking by. It sent my throat burning but I couldn't move, not yet. Not till they left.

"No, about what?" said the second voice.

I stopped listening to their conversation and instead my mind was consumed with the burning in my throat. So easy. I could do this so easily. Strike them both, move around behind them, back of the head, and then that sweet red liquid pouring, easy. My legs started forward but I never made it out of the shadows. The two men passed by me unharmed. I growled in frustration, not because I'd lost great prey but because I'd even allowed myself to think like that. I wasn't going to lose myself! Not yet! Not ever!

I continued my limping walk until I found myself coming into a nicer, newer part of the town. Where am I? Where did my feet take me? But I knew the answer already. I'd allowed the burning to control even my legs. This was the largest amount of people I'd seen together since coming back. I grit my teeth to the point of pain. Why, why, why, why, why? There were so many people here. So many I could kill and drink from. It was almost too good to be true!

I started toward the crowd, catching the eyes of a few people who seemed worried about my current state, though none came close. There was a little girl right there, so close, so vulnerable. It would be quick, she wouldn't duffer too much before dying. Her scent was so sweet and it only made my throat burn more. As soon as I was within arm's reach of her I grabbed her shoulders and spun her around. I gasped and my eyes widened when I saw her from the front, though.

My lower lip quivered and my grip loosened. I felt like I was going to pass out right then and there as the world around me spun. Immediately I let go as I heard a shocked and angry voice. I started to run. I'd shut my eyes as tightly as I could, ignored the pain in my body screaming at me to stop, and just ran as fast and far as I could. I'd been about to kill her! In cold blood I had been about to kill that innocent girl! The only thing that stopped me had been her face and what she'd carried.

The little human girl had big eyes and short hair that framed her face. Her skin was so pale yet slightly tanned from the sun. She'd looked so scared! She'd looked like Lydi for a moment too. That was what had stopped me back there. Her face had reminded me of Lydi's scared face when I'd been fighting Six and Seven and lost myself for a bit. She'd also been carrying a rather large stuffed doll. She'd held it so tightly that its perfect blue ribbon had creased under her arms. It had felt as if I'd been about to kill Lydi!

What if that truly happened? What if I lost control completely and didn't stop because I see her face, or Kodachi's, or Faye's, or Rengokuin's or Kei's? What if I killed my friends? How would I live with myself? I can't do that! I can't lose myself and let that happen!

Unwanted tears came once again to my eyes but I didn't brush them away. They sailed diagonally down my cheeks and flew away with the wind that hit me head on. I grit my teeth even harder and ran faster. I could feel people moving out of my way but by no means did I want to open my eyes. After almost five or so minutes of running I slowed my pace until I was walking. I could feel no people near me but I didn't open my eyes to check either.

My body was exhausted. All I wanted to do was collapse and go to sleep right here. But I forced my legs to walk again. Despite the pain in my legs from running, from the wounds both healed and new as well as the pain in the rest of body and the blood draining form me, I forced myself to keep going. I don't want to stop; I can already feel the burn in my throat coming back. I kept my eyes closed and kept on walking.

I was reaching my limit now but I couldn't stop yet. I slowly opened my teary eyes to see that I was in a thick of trees. Using the back of my hand I wiped my tears away from my eyes as well as some blood from my face and mouth. My legs were wobbling as I walked and everything was dim. Was this going to be my punishment? Would I really not see them?

Maybe it was best. I did hurt them and I've even thought of killing them and drinking their blood. Maybe this is a fitting end. I stopped walking and leaned against a tree as I started to cough harshly. I placed my hand over my mouth to cover it but when I took it away there was blood on the palm of my hand, dripping down to the grassy ground beneath me. The sun felt harsh against my back and even the soft tree bark seemed to hurt me.

I was gasping for breath and I hadn't realized it until I was staring at my bloodied palm. Blood continued to fall from the corner of my mouth and down my chin, dripping into my hand and onto the ground. My brow furrowed but the tears had stopped coming after I'd wiped them away that one time. I guess even I'm not that sad about this.

My legs buckled under my weight and I was on my hands and knees. I coughed more and more blood fell until I was more of a mess than before. A chocked chuckle came from my mouth as I ripped blood stained grass from the ground. Just as I was about to lay down fully a black bird perched itself on a branch nearby, making loud noise near my ear. I looked over at it and glared.

"What do you want?" I asked it between gasps. Was it here to mock me? Tell me how in the end all I was good for was killing? The bird merely stared at me and then out at a break in the forest. It swiftly took to the skies again, leaving behind two black feathers as it did. I watched it leave and then took one of the feathers in my hand. "Why," was all I could manage to say before horrible coughing sent me shaking. More blood than before spilled from my mouth.

My arms felt wobbly and I doubted my knees could hold me up much longer. But what had the bird stared at? Despite my current state I tried to get up, to walk over there to where the bird had stared for a few seconds before it had taken off. All I could manage was getting into a sitting position. Any farther than that and I would fall back down again. I want to know! Determination and fresh adrenaline in me helped me crawl half way to the break in trees and then stand.

I leaned heavily against a tree and used them to help me keep going. I was so close! There were about five people standing in a plaza, one of which was in a wheelchair from what I could see. In the sky above I heard the black bird, stared at it for a second and then looked back down to see that some of its feathers had come off like before. Without noticing it I'd come to the end of the trees and stood leaning against the nearest one.

I followed the feathers as they fluttered down from high up until my eyes met those of the group of five in the plaza. They seemed so familiar, even with their eyes wide and shocked expressions, even though I couldn't exactly see the eyes of one of them. My poor vision barely let me recognize them but I did. My eyes started to burn but I didn't let the tears come and my throat was threatening to close up. There was a lump in my throat I just couldn't seem to swallow at the moment.

Maybe I wasn't being punished. It was them! I wanted to cry out to them so badly but I couldn't. Kodachi beautiful as ever. Faye without his hooded jacket. Lydi looking as cute as always. Rengokuin…was tall? Well at least the kid had grown. And Kei, sitting in the wheelchair looked so frail like that. I couldn't help but smile despite the falling blood.

I scanned them over one by one over and over again but finally my fading vision focused solely on Kei. Kei who looked like he was going to cry. Kei who already had tears in his eyes now. Kei who'd been my friend, who'd been so close to dying if I'd continued to use him. Kei, who was shouting something, getting out of his wheelchair and heading my way.

I felt my eyes closing as I saw this, my vision became darker and darker. I hadn't even been able to hear what it is that Kei had shouted if anything at all. My senses were almost completely gone, and soon so would I. I stretched my arm toward my group of friends, all of which were trying to come near me. I smiled my usual grin at them. The "no need to worry" grin I seemed to have trouble them with, even when I'd left. I wanted so badly to touch them, to know how they were doing, to be with them once again.

It was all so blurry now that I could barely make out my own hand. The last I saw of them was how close they were, how they seemed glad I was back. I softly closed my eyes, I was happy with that image and the rest of my memories of them. My legs couldn't hold me up any longer and I felt so dizzy. I mouthed a few words not having the strength to speak aloud and then my body completely gave out.

I barely felt as I hit the ground or as my face, hand, and shoulder dragged roughly against the bark of the tree I'd been leaning against. My outstretched arm I still felt in its same position, away from the rest of me. It felt so unreal. I was swimming in darkness now and I could barely feel my pain as it started to fade away. My thoughts were doing the same now as my senses were almost completely gone. I have no idea if everyone reached me or not but I'm happy.

I saw them one last time. What had been what I had wanted to say to them? I couldn't seem to recall it. I felt too happy. Memories of the happier times we'd had together played over and over in my head. They were the only things that didn't seem to be rapidly fading. Finally I could feel nothing. I was gone. Maybe this wasn't complete punishment. I got to see them again.

What had I said? Will you think of me as your hero? You won't hate me? I hope not… Because as I'd said without any strength to say, "This is my final goodbye….."