A/N: Okies I'd just like to apologize for my complete and utter negligence of the rules of this site, I completely missed the bit in the terms and conditions where it stated that all content above the rating of M – in my case R+ (oops) – is forbidden from this site.

I apologize to those of you who may have found my content offensive or culturally sensitive. However in future please read the bold letters at the top of the page, which I will place to indicate that an explicit scene may occur.

But anyways, here is the updated version with a whole other plot (since the last was just basically one big erotica story :P) Hope ya'll enjoy!

Hoshiko

The moment of truth is but an hour away and I have already past the point of no return.

"Okay so make sure you wear the silver heels we found the other day, it'll go nicely with you're dress." Informs her long time best friend and wing-woman Rangiku Matsumoto. We had known each other since the beginning of freshman year, Rangiku being a few months older, but nonetheless we were practically joined at the hip.

"No way! You know I can't wear heels, I'll end up tripping over my own feet and face planting with all my glory," I say to her, memories of my last high heel incident coming back to me.

"But honey you're a woman now, you're gonna' need learn this someday!" She shoots back. Reminding me of her oh-so-annoying lectures that discriminate against my tomboyish antics.

"Ugh don't start! I think I'll be sticking to my sneakers and combat boots thank you very much." I reply smugly, flaunting the upsides of my military upbringing.

I, Hoshiko Urahara, am one of the three children Major K. Urahara adopted after a defining blow to the knee ended his career as a Marine. Growing up I pretty much spent all my time perfecting my field and combat strategies. I took just about every martial arts class offered and am now an instructor at most of the dojos. Much to Rangiku's disgust when she takes me out shopping and I end up spending hours in the Generals stores admiring the slick collection of daggers and even cooler suite of light weight handguns – all of which are leaps and bounds ahead of my life savings.

There is a loud groan from the other side of the phone line. "Okay fine then, but don't come crying to me when we're both in College and your sorry ass can't seem to find yourself a man! Because boy am I telling you now!" She rants.

I can't help but to snort at the thought of myself ever needing a man to grasp onto, because honestly it's the twenty-first century and god bless the soul of any woman who believes they need a man to be happy.

"Ha! Don't worry, I promise you I won't!" I tell Rangiku. "But I'd better get my ass in the shower before everyone starts arriving! See ya' later!" And without waiting for her response, I abruptly hang up.

Walking towards my closet I begin my quest to Narnia, otherwise known as the long road to hell everywoman goes through when deciding on the all mighty outfit for the night!

I grab the hot pair of highly controversial combat boots Rangiku has encouraged me to wear and begin to look through my clothes for that sexy black and white cocktail dress we brought on our last shopping randevu.

Dumping my outfit on the bed, I hop into the bathroom and strip down as fast as possible. Piling on both shampoo and conditioner in one go, I claw at my unruly crimson hair while my eyes scan the area for Urahara's shaving cream- yes, men's shaving cream works heaps better!

Eventually spotting the large cylinder bottle, I begin to wash out the contents of my hair before coating my legs with the foamy white substance. Grabbing the shaver I begin to run the deadly razor up my legs, shaving away the excess hair whilst praying to the lord that I don't cut myself again! Repeating the same process on my arms and pits. Once I'm done I quickly rinse it all off, embracing the refreshing feeling of being clean.

Grabbing a towel I make my way back across the hall into my bedroom, where the next steps of getting ready await me: hair and makeup! I change into my cocktail dress, the simple white ruffles stopping just above my knees. I strap my combat boots on and hop in the seat of my dresser where I prepare to tackle the task of getting my horrendous hair into something other than a simple high ponytail.

After awhile of Tumblr scrolling I eventually give up and settle for just lightly curling my vicious locks. With that out of way and just ten minutes til' my party guests arrive I quickly make do with my makeup and smother this and that of everything on in an attempt at looking presentable. Taking a final check in the mirror I must admit, I look better than I thought. Much better.

(3 hours later)

In Spongebob guy's voice

My heart is thumping uncontrollably to the heavy beats of the DJ. Everything is a blur of flashing lights and I am completely in the moment. I lost track of Rangiku about an hour ago while we were both snacking up and drinking punch.

I have danced with all different types of quirky men and woman alike, not really caring about anything but letting go and having an amazing night, which is so far going well.

At some point in the night I must've lost it because I am now in the middle of the dance circle busting out my non-existent moves! I hear encouraging screams of partygoers around me and I step backwards to once again rejoin the large dance circle- as if that would save what little dignity I had left.

"Wooooohooo!" You go girl!" Shouts the ecstatic voice of Rangiku as some guy slaps my bottom, much to my disgust because I immediately move away, holding back the urge to oblique kick him where it hurts.

I make my way to Rangiku. "Where the hell have you been woman?!" I yell over the music. "I've been looking for you!"

She obviously didn't hear me because before I can think she takes my wrists and drags me towards a couple of hot –not really- senior boys.

"Rangiku!" I yell again. "What the hell!" I exclaim, not really liking where this is going.

"Haha calm down Hoshi! I'm not going to get you laid or anything, I know you like girls!" The sentence gets me a few stares from surrounding strangers and I flush with embarrassment.

"Oh my god shut the hell up Rangiku!" I practically turn into Hulk. I don't have anything against homosexuality, heck I haven't let anything on that I float the other way either but, believe me I do like guys- in a non-pedophilic crush sort of way. Theo James, Channing Tatum and Bradley Cooper, just to name a few of my favorite man candies.

"Hoshiko meet my boyfriend Shuhei Hisagi and his friend Toshiro Hitsugaya!" She exclaims, pointing to each of the boys as she talks.

Hisagi the first boy is tall and well built, his spiky black hair and killer – or in my opinion slightly creepy- smile practically reeling in the ladies of Karakura high. But what really stuck with me was his absurd tattoo of the number '69' on his left cheek that just practically screams out man-whore! I wonder what the hell this guy did to get a girl like Rangiku's attention.

Toshiro however was short and I mean short as in elementary kid tiny. His bored get-me-out-of-here expression immediately spells out party pooper and the bleach white hair of his makes him look more like a cranky old man than anything else. I desperately hope Rangiku won't attempt to pull me along another one of her double dates, because there was no way I would be going with that guy!

"Uhm hi," I say, not really knowing what else to do. "Nice to meetcha'!"

"And you too, happy birthday by the way," replies Hisagi while his friend Toshiro yawns and walks toward the punch bowl. The nerve of that guy!

"Haha, don't mind him, he's just a little shy around people," says Rangiku giving Hisagi googly eyes as they share some inside joke and I struggle to restrain a gag.

"Well I'm just gonna' go pee now so yeah, byees!" I quickly back away from the lovesick couple and make my way back into the crowd.

All of a sudden the room goes black and I can't see a thing. "Alright ladies and gentlemen!" Booms the powerful voice of the DJ. "There's only a minute til' midnight so let's begin the countdown!"

There is a loud applause followed by a long silence while everyone awaits the cue of the DJ and I feel the excitement boil up as I wait in anticipation- for no reason in particular.

"Five!"

"Four!"

"Three!" I join the crowd in the countdown.

"Two!"

"One!"

The bright lights and booming music flash on and I gasp as an overwhelming heat takes over my body. My skin tingles with electricity and I feel as if I am about to explode. A desperate need for air overtakes me and I struggle to make my way outside.

Once outside I feel as if I am a drug addict without her drugs. Pooh bear with no honey! There's a need to find something, someone, but I don't know what, who or even why.

"Ahhhh!" I let out a painful screech as my body starts to shake with pain.

And then like a crazed animal I catch scent of whatever it is I am looking for and I swear I must've turned into a monster because everything becomes infrared.

A moment later and my senses are back- to human at least- and I am at the entrance of an old coffee shop. I can just sense that whatever it is that got me rattled up before is in there.

I take a deep breath and walk inside. The eyes of the most beautiful man I have ever seen meet mine and my world stops.

"Mate."

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And yes I will shit unicorns on you're flames.