A/N
This is my first Everlark fic and it's definitely not my best work but hey I tried right? xD
I wake gasping for breath. Screams are still ringing in my ears but I have stopped echoing them a long time ago. What use were they? Peeta would just wake up and hold me close until we both fell asleep again. And the cycle would repeat.
Now there were the children to think of - children of the victors who would wake to a screaming parent and they just didn't know why. I've learnt not to scream, to suppress it, but still I press my face hard into my pillow because I feel it clawing up my throat. The pillow soon gets damp from the tears still streaming down my face and I silently hiccup back another sob.
Again I'm grateful for Peeta because without him I would have lost my mind a long time ago, and probably my life soon after that. We depended on each other to stay alive, from the arena till now. Now it was a cycle of making sure the other would want to keep living; me reminding him of what was real and what was not, and him keeping me from losing my mind to the nightmares.
My feet make soft thumps on the floor as I move to the children's' room. My eyes are sad as I watch them sleep because I could never be the whole mother they needed. I am a fraction of the person I was and I don't know if I mourn the loss of the other pieces because I don't remember.
I bend to kiss a head of blonde hair and a shining tear falls on her pale forehead. I can't stop the others slipping out as I hug her tightly to my chest. "Prim, Prim," my hoarse whimpers break the night and somewhere in the middle of that she wakes up and knows she's not Prim but still comforts me anyway.