Disclaimer: Characters, places, and most objects are owned by Square Enix. I do not own them. If I did, Zell wouldn't be nearly as awesome because I've never written a character like him before. Though, I would make him wear his shorts around his waist and not halfway up his torso... Dude... Think of your crotch.
Chapter One - Don't yell at me, Zell Dincht.
The rain was not enough to wash away the rotten feeling Zell had. Why did he feel so empty? They battled Ultimecia, defeated her, and everything is starting to get back to normal. The library girl Zell has been chasing for over a year now, has agreed to go out with him. There hasn't been one dangerous mission where the SeeDs had the fear for their lives since that grand battle. So why feel so rotten? True, that now since Squall is in charge of the Garden, he doesn't really have time to hang out with the rest of the SeeDs. Squall can't just relax, though, everyone knows that Squall wouldn't relax anyways. Squall is the kind of person that stresses about not having anything to stress over. Oh, and there was the incident where the martial artist himself choked on a hot dog, which is just tragic really... But over all, everything is fine. Everything is better than that actually, everything is great. So why does Zell feel so rotten and empty?
Zell sat down on the roof of his Ma's house and embraced his bare calves. They were a little cold from the wind and rain, but he didn't really care. He was trying to feel something, but cold would never be it. The martial artist was a little surprised to be thinking about how much he reminded himself of Squall right now. Always in his head, no emotion showing on the outside. Zell usually wore his heart on his sleeve, very expressive and over active. But now, he's rather with-drawen and almost dead like. He doesn't get up in the morning and smile because the suns out. He doesn't cheer at the sight of good fortunes or green lights when he's on his hover-board. He doesn't even thank his Ma for cooking breakfast, lunch, and supper... He doesn't even want to eat hot dogs anymore. It's not because they tried to kill him or anything, he just doesn't feel like eating them anymore. They are a happy food, and he doesn't feel like eating happy food.
Zell sighed.
"How can food have a feeling? An emotion to describe it?" He asked the rain, knowing full well that he was the only one who could ever answer the question. Has happiness always been something he's just been a little too late to get all the time, like hot dogs from the cafeteria? No, no it has not. He's always been happy and he couldn't get there is time for them. Now that he can have them when ever he wants, he doesn't want them anymore. That reasoning though, doesn't change his mind about hot dogs being a happy food. Maybe he is afraid to choke on them again, except he doesn't feel afraid... He doesn't feel anything.
Zell gave up for today. He knew that he would never figure out what is the matter with him, just sitting in the rain. Someone else had to help him, and the only person he could talk to, was his girlfriend, everyone else was busy. Selphie's band that she was playing with on the side from missions, was prospering quite well, so she is spending a lot more time with them and less at the Garden. The last thing he heard about them, was that they are moving to Esthar soon. Also Selphie had asked Squall if she could move there and perhaps they could convince Laguna to open a Garden there, and she could teach there or something. Squall said he'd think about it but still didn't feel comfortable calling Laguna, who is a bit eccentric, so it's quite understandable why the young gunblader can't talk to him.
Squall is busy running the Garden and taking care of his bastard child Tobey, who Squall keeps telling everyone that Tobey's mother died but no one believes him. Tobey is about one and a half, and just showed up in Squall's life a couple of months ago, unexpected and unannounced. Zell's Ma watches him when there is a mission but other then that, Tobey is always with the Commander. There is no denying that Squall's the father though, Tobey looks a great deal like him, and Rinoa is totally in love with him too (in a motherly way).
Rinoa stills spends a lot of her time with her father in Galbadia, but her and Squall are still together. Zell's been told that they talk on the phone often whilst Squall is working, but they haven't really seen each other in the past couple of months. Rinoa came down here for a week about two months ago, she spend most of her time with Tobey, because Squall had too much work to do. There is no denying that they love each other, as much as Squall can love at least, but they just live two totally different lives.
Irvine works as a Weapons Instructor at the Galbadia Garden, and is well known for cheating on Selphie (whom he's dating) with his students. Selphie stays with him, because of their history, oh and he's a cowboy and that's what she likes. Apparently, to Selphie, its difficult to find a straight cowboy.
Quistis is an instructor at Balamb Garden again thanks to Squall, but she was never anyone that Zell could talk to about these things. She would have made a big deal about how Zell has a lot to be happy for and he's taking the freedom of the world for granted. Not that she was a bitch or anything, she just doesn't understand how things managed to get worse for Zell since the battle.
Zell dislikes the fact that they had to battle Seifer. Not saying that Seifer didn't do it to himself or that he deserves pity; Zell just doesn't like the fact that they had to fight someone who has grown up in the same lifestyle that the rest of them have. The older gunblader is still the martial artist's arch-enemy in a way, but he was still a big part of Zell's and his friends' history. The only difference Zell has noticed, is that Seifer doesn't call him 'Chicken wuss' anymore. A couple of weeks after the battle, when Seifer appeared again with Fujin and Raijin, Squall pulled them all into his office. It turns out that Fujin and Raijin no longer feel like they can attend the Garden, so they moved out and no one has seen them since. On the other hand, when Seifer told Squall he was leaving, Squall refused to accept his resignation. They had an argument but, according to Squall...
----------
"I know you are scare to face these people again. They know what you did, and they will never trust you again. But I would rather have them complain to me every second of the day with you fighting on my team, than ever lose a good SeeD because we don't have the power." Squall said, standing behind his new oak desk, hands planted firmly on it.
Seifer closed his eyes and slowly shook his blond head, "I can't Squall. The last test was my third one. Three strikes and you're out. That's the rule."
Squall chuckled a little, "Seifer, last time I check: One, that was Cid's rule; Two, I'm in charge, and it's up to me now; And three, I have not only seen you fight, but experienced your fighting. I've felt your power-" Indicated at the rather large scar across his face, " I know what you can do. The only thing I need to know, is if you can take an order. I want you on my team."
"Squall, things are different for me now. My life is different. I'm different-"
"Fuck you Seifer." Squall interrupted him in a completely calm matter, "I will have you on my team. I only need you to pass your SeeD exam. You do that, and I'll help them see what you can do when you have real control over your actions."
Seifer shifted his weight to his other foot. He couldn't believe Squall, the Commander, wanted to keep him. After everything he did to them. "... Squall... If I do do this, there's a few things that I need to address..." Seifer started. Squall didn't have a hint of denial on his face, or the urge to interrupt him; so Seifer continued. "With recent personally matters, I can't live at the Garden anymore, not that most people would want me to. I remove myself from the disciplinary team, for obvious reasons. I want a say in how big my wage is going to be. Also, I don't want to have to listen to Quistis..."
Each time the older gunblader listed off a new thing Squall would listen to it entirely, and nod afterwards. "Is that everything?" the new Headmaster inquired genuinely. After Seifer had nodded, Squall continued, "Besides the fact that Quistis is an instructor and you'll have to listen to her in your classes; everything else sounds reasonable to me. I appreciate your agreementship." Squall sat down finally, and pulled paperwork towards him. He shuffled through it a little ways before pulling out the sheet he required. "I just need you to sign this once I've added your terms of negotiations, and then you are free... Until class tomorrow at 8." Squall scribbled down Seifer's requests, then slid the paper towards Seifer. Once Seifer had signed, and started to head towards the door, Squall ended on one finally note. "They will change their minds Seifer. They'll give you another chance... I'll make sure of it."
Seifer stopped with his hand on the door, it stood open with him in the doorway. "I don't deserve it." He muttered as he walked out the door.
----------
So now every time Zell enters the Garden, Seifer is there; alone because the only friends the martial artist has ever seen him with no longer attend classes at the Garden. Seifer mostly keeps to himself, and has stopped bullying a lot of people. Zell sees Seifer often in the library, when he is visiting his girlfriend Laura Ashley(1) who is in charge of the library. Zell finds it uneasy that Seifer is so quiet, he missed the normalcy. He'll even deal with being insulted and abused just to have everything back to normal. Seifer has never been the silent type, and Zell believes he should never be. Squall is the silent type, even as the Commander of the SeeDs and The Headmaster of the Garden, he rarely talks to anyone. Seifer is the bully, it's his job to be loud and in your face; he shouldn't be hiding in the shadows, ashamed.
Zell decided that he should head to the Garden and talk to his girlfriend, she's know how to cheer him up; she always manages to show him the light at the end of the tunnel. Zell reached the Garden in a short amount of time, thanks to his hover-board and headed into the library, Laura Ashley waiting for him. She looked at him and gave him a smile: not her usually happy-go-lucky smile, it was a sad, sorry smile. The young fighter was confused, but he waiting to talk to her until after she'd finished ringing through Seifer's books. Once Seifer had left the library, Zell climbed onto of the counter and laid down.
"Hey." He chimed, with a fake version of his award winning smile. "How's your day bin?"
"Heh." She hesitated a bit, "Look Zell, we need to talk."
"That's why I came 'ere."
She gave him a puzzled look, "Do you have something in mind to talk about?"
"Nah, just bin feelin' down 'gen and want'id ta see your face."
She shook her head slowly, sympathetically, "Oh Zell... see that's what I want to talk about. I don't mind listening to you honey, but I need something out of the relationship too."
Zell looked dumbfounded. He did a lot for her to show that he appreciated her listening when he needed to talk. He bought her all kinds of things that she wanted, took her on romantic dates, gave her foot rubs and massages, and even listened to her many rants about different books-- no matter how boring they were. He didn't understand what more she wanted.
"Zell, I need to know you care about me," she pleaded.
Oh, Zell finally got it. She expects him to be able to... perform. He's been so down lately, that he just can't get in the mood. In fact, he's still a virgin. If she would have asked him before the War, he would've no problem with it, but since the War he hasn't felt like it.
"Zell..?"
Her question interrupted his thoughts and he looked at her, "Look, Lor... I know I'm the dude in this, but I told ya, I just can't."
"Why not? Am I not pretty enough," she questioned, her pitch raising a bit higher.
"No, Lor, 'snot that. 'Snot you. It's me-"
"Oh! Typical boy response!" She started to cry, "Why can't I be good enough for you? I throw myself at you, I show you all kinds of attention. What more do I have to do to please you Zell?"
"Lor-"
"No, Zell. I can't do this anymore. I can't take the heart break. I need a guy who'll give me what I need. I need a real man." A dreamy look crossed her red blotchy, tear stained face, and she looked off in the distance.
"Lor-"
She looked back at Zell. "No Zell. I can't see us going any further. I've given and given, and I can't give anymore. I need a relationship that's going somewhere. I need a strong reliable man, who'll give me the kind of love I need-" She frowned, and glared at Zell. "It's another woman, isn't it? That's what this is about. You're cheating on me, aren't you! You won't sleep with me because you've found someone else to diddle!!"
Zell sat up, stunned. "No Lor. There ain't-"
"Zell don't-"
"LOR!" Zell stood up behind the counter, "Listen to me! There-"
"Don't you yell at me Zell Dincht! Hyne, I can't believe how ungrateful of a boyfriend you are! Or should I say WERE!"
Zell growled and stamped his foot. Before he takes his anger out on her, he stormed out of the library. He grabbed his hover-board and sped home. Throwing open the front door, it hit the wall and shattered. Growling again, he stomped upstairs and punctuated his arrival with the slamming of yet another door. He removed his crimson and charcoal jacket, and black t-shirt. Tightening his gloves and kicking off his hiking boots, the martial artist started to wailing on his punching bag. Cursing and growling, as he hit.
"Argh." Kick. "Stupid." Punch. "Fuckin'." Hit. "Piece-a." Whack. "Shit." Kick.
Zell hated the idea that she not only dumped him because he has a little bit of a psychological stress type problem because of the war, and can't seem to get out of the funk; but also she accused him cheating on her. So not only is he impotent, but he's a player too. That's just great. So he can't please her and he can't even please himself, but he's somehow pleasing some mystery woman. He hated being accused of something he's not. Like he could ever cheat on anyone. He thought it was disrespectful to look at porn while dating. Laura is the first, and only girl he's ever been with; he was too shy to even ask her out, how could she ever assume that he was not faithful.
Author's Note:
(1) Laura Ashley is just her first name(s). lol. Like Mary-Kate Olsen, only no hyphen.
Hope you guys are liking it so far. This is my first fanfic (that I've released to the public), and I do want comments. If there is anything you don't understand, feel free to ask in the comments, or email me! My address is kristy_ and just put in the subject the title of the fanfic (AKA: The Freedom You Gave Me - Question). I have three chapters so far but I won't be able to update as often as you might like (I.E. everyday) as I am attenting University, but I do have some free time that I'm hoping to fill with writing. Any-woo. Comment, ask questions, give reasonable criticism.
Also! Now that you have a sample writing of mine, you know how I write. If you would like me to Beta read your Fanfics, as long as you comment, I'll beta read yours. Even though I do have a 'beta reader' for my stories, if you guys notice any mistakes, let me know so it can be a smoother read for people. Thank you.
-Kiki