All's Fair
PROLOGUE...
"I don't want you to go..." I whispered, as a few solitary
tears, found themselves wandering from my cheeks.
"I know..." he stroked my face, and i knew he understood
as much as I did. I didn't know what to do with the situation. I
felt helpless. There was no way for me to interperate what was
happening. Instead, I tried to convince myself that it wasn't;
not now. Not today. Not ever.
It didn't work. I couldnt help but imagine what my future
might be like without him. I could feel the tears building up, like
a volcano ready to erupt. I attempted to hold them back, fearing
that if i didn't, it would only hurt him more. He was alot better
at conceiling his emotions than i was. The eruption began.
He tightened his grip around my waist, and I burried my
face into his shoulder, attempting to erase my tears.
"It's okay, baby... Don't cry. I'll come back to you, I
promise."
"But you can't promise!" I sobbed. "You can't..."
He didn't reply. Instead he just kissed me and brushed a
lock of hair behind my ear, causing another chain reaction of
emotion, followed by tears.
For a few minutes he just held me as I cried into him. I
assumed he was thinking of something clever to say- and I
was right.
"I love you so much..."
I nodded as I wiped at my sky-blue eyes.
"And you know that I will do everything in my
power to make you happy," he continued. "Even if it means
just staying alive for 6 months."
"I believe you," I lied. I knew that he had no power
over life or death at all. But really, all that mattered now was
wether or not our last moments together were good ones. I
wasn't about to start arguing with him, minutes before he went
off to war.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"As long as I can ask you one, too." He looked down
into my eyes with a look that could turn Ginger Rogers to a
ball of mush.
"Will you write?" I backed out of his arms, and wiped
at my tears again. They had slowed down, and I was more
likely to get a more permanent effect from my hankerchief now,
than I had before.
"Every day." He smiled, and clasped both of my hands.
There was no use in trying not to smile back.
"Now it's my turn."
"You may ask," I teased.
He backed up and cleared his throat. Reaching into his
pocket, he took out a small, black box. Suddenly, it hit me. I
knew exactly what he was doing. Just then, he got down on his
knee and spoke.
"Anne-Marie Benson?" The tears came back with a
wave of intensity.
"Yes?" I gasped.
"I love you more than I think is even possible, and I
think you're more than aware of that. As a matter of fact, I
loved you since I first met you. Now, i'm gonna tell you
something, and i'm only gonna say it once. Annie, i'm inlove
with you. And there isn't one thing in this world that can ever
change that. Every day I love you more and more, and if i'm
gonna go fight in this war, I damn right wanna come out of it
knowing that the girl that I love is waiting here to marry me.
Now, Annie... won't you tell me you love me, too? Will you take
my ring and wear it proudly 'til i'm able to come back and sweep
you off your feet every day for the rest of my life?"
For a minute, I just stood in shock. My heart pounded in my
chest, as I panicked to find something to say- something that could
even compare. It was a helpless effort. All that I could manage to
get out of my mouth was a shakey, barely identifiable whisper.
"Yes," I swear, the smile on his face could have cured a
thousand illnesses. I dont know how to describe the feeling I got
when he slipped that ring on my finger, but let me tell you it was a
good feeling- real good.
"You have no idea how cheesy you just sounded," I chuckled.
He kissed my face, and spun me in the air. This was a dream.
It had to be. A dream and a nightmare all in one.
On one hand, I was marrying the love of my life. On the other
hand, there was a very high possibility that I may lose him some
time between now and the next six months.
"Flight 63 is now boarding. Flight 63 is now boarding."
A voice spoke, and my face dropped instantly. That voice
was the one thing in this world that could bring all of my fears
to life. He looked down at me and kissed my forehead.
"So beautiful..."
"And such a sweet boy." I smiled.
"You have no idea how hard this is for me- leaving you,
I mean."
"Oh, I think I might..." I brought my head to the ground.
It was my way of collecting myself. He lifted my chin, and looked
into my eyes. I let a tear escape.
"I promise i'll come back to you."
"You better," I dared him.
Seeing him walk away from me was harder than I
thought it would be. All I could do was think that he may never
come back. He walked through the gates, and i fell into the closest
chair I could find. I closed my eyes and began to fall apart like a
leaf left out in the sun for too long. I waited to regain my dignity
and left immediately.
The drive home was more empty than it should have been.
The only thoughts I remember going through my head were basic
ones- 'How often will he write?', 'Will he come home?'.
I hadn't really given the aftermath much thought, so i tried
just to concentrate on the road- just until i arrived at my small,
lonely and decapitated home- It didn't work.
I slowly turned the volume up on the radio of my car and
stared blankly at the road ahead. The narrow, winded path
seemed to go on forever. Finally, I reached the destination i was
looking for.
Roboticaly almost, i turned my black volvo up my steep
driveway. I listened to my car ploy branch after branch as it
manouvered it's way through the thick forestry surrounding it.
This didn't bother me. In fact, it had become quite a regular
thing for my car. But today even more than most days, that was
the last thing on my mind.
I slammed the car door and looked at my surroundings. I
attempted to find something- anything that felt familiar in some
way, but everything had changed somewhow.
Solemnly, I opened the screen door of my lonely home and
entered. I placed my keys on the rack behind me and stood. I
placed my face into my hands and held it there- just for a
moment- and then i collected myself.
Once i had calmed, i walked into the kitchen and picked up my
phone. I needed to talk to somebody, and i certainly couldn't stay
here any longer. It was too depressing, and only reminded me of
my worries. Slowly, i spun the white circle to the three... the
seven... and so on- and then i waited for a ring.
"Hello?"
"Hello, mom..." I attempted to sound unbothered.
"You alright, hun?" It didn't work.
"Yeah, im fine... Fred left for war this morning."
"Oh, Annie! That was today?"
"Mhmm..." I covered my mouth and gasped. I couldn't cry again.
I'd had enough of that for one day. A tear darted down my cheek...
two tears... three and then four.
"Are you okay? Do you need to talk?"
"No- im..." My voice quivered and I tried again. "I'm fine- I..." Yet
another failed attempt. I lost the controle i barely held and cried
into the phone. "Mom, i'm so worried... I- I dont know what to do with
myself. When he walked through those doors... mom?"
"I'm here,"
"He asked me to marry him, today. I said yes." The line was quiet
for a moment- and then she spoke.
"You- you're getting married...?"
"Yes... if he comes back," I put my hand to my forehead.
"Annie, I- I dont know what to say. I'm so happy for you, but..."
"Bad timing, right?"
"Exactly... honey, do you want to come over and talk?"
"Yes, please."
"Okay. Come over in about 15 minutes... I love you,"
"I love you too," I let out a crooked smile, and placed the phone back
onto it's stand.
It had been a long time since I had left Annie. I hadn't exactly counted,
but it was long enough that I missed her. Maybe it was just the
environment I had myself surrounded in.
Beside me, a man in the same olive-toned uniform as me lay against
his window. This normaly would not have bothered me if it wasn't for his
incessant snoring.
The air was filled with a strong musty scent. I'm not positive what the
source of the smell was, but it wasn't pleasant. I leaned back in my chair
and wished for any sort of temporary nasal relief- soon if possible. As
predicted, my wishes went unfulfilled, and I soon gave up hope. Across the
isle, two men were playing cards and laughing amongst themselves...
(To Be Continued...)