Shut the door, turn the light off
Jace was done. He couldn't take the pain anymore. He couldn't bear seeing her with Simon anymore. He couldn't. She was supposed to be his, and he hers.
He growled in frustration his hands bawling into fists. None of this was supposed to be like this.
He slammed the door of his room ignoring Isabelle's screams telling him to forget Clary already. She didn't get it. None of them did. He couldn't forget her. He never could even if he wanted to. He'd had heard enough lectures from both Isabelle and Alec telling him Clary wasn't worth it, that he'd meet someone new. But he knew that wasn't true.
I wanna be with you, I wanna feel your love, I wanna lay beside you
He sat on the edge of his bed and laid back his legs dangling off. His hands laid on his chest as his thoughts immediately went to her.
How it would be if nothing had changed, she'd be there with him. He would hold her. Kiss her.
Jace never cried but he felt the rebelling tears starting to form, he couldn't take the pain anymore.
I cannot hide this even though I try
For so long he'd tried to ignore his feelings for Clary, he'd tried to move on. He'd stayed away from her keeping his distance. But it all felt so wrong, even if she was his sister it felt so right being with her.
They were meant to be. He knew it. But Clary never wanted to realized that, she chose Simon over him. And she destroyed him.
Not just his heart, but him. He was nothing without her.
Hearts beat harder, Time escapes me, Trembling hands touch skin, It makes this harder
His head seemed to spin with all the memories he had their moments together replaying in his mind.
Every time he had pushed her fiery hair that always seemed to cover her eyes, back from her face.
Every time their fingers accidentally touched.
That sparkle she used to have in her eyes every time she saw him.
The first time they kissed.
Her lips against his, her small hands bawling into fists in his hair. His hands skimming her back feeling her soft warm skin under his touch. That day, in that moment he felt like he could do anything. He was on top of the world.
But it all came crashing down around him.
And the tears stream down my face
All these memories just made it so much harder for him. Every night he tortured himself by reliving each memory again and again. Every time the memory ended his heart broke realizing she was gone. She wasn't really his. Maybe she never was.
He felt his hands begin to shake, he bit his lip trying to stay in control but that's when his tears slid down his beautiful face. He looked so beautiful yet so broken.
A broken angel. That's what he was.
If we could only have this life for one more day, If we could only turn back time
He wished he could go back.
He'd run away with her, escaping the truth. Escaping the pain. They'd be happy together. They would have never found out the truth.
She would have never left him, she would have stayed.
Close the door throw the key, Don't wanna be reminded, Don't wanna be seen, Don't wanna be without you
Jace didn't have anything anymore. There was no point in living. She was his life, and now she was gone.
He just needed to end his heartache already, he felt like his heart was being ripped apart every time he saw him with her. He couldn't bear looking at them anymore.
If he couldn't make her happy. If he wasn't the one for her anymore. If she wanted someone else.
Then he'd leave.
But there was nothing here or anywhere for him anymore, nothing. He should just end it now.
With that thought Jace got sat up from the bed and locked his door drawing a rune against the door to make sure no one could walk in.
He was really going to do this.
My judgements clouded, like tonight's sky
Jace growled in frustration tugging at his hair from the roots, pacing back and forth in the little space in his room. He felt like he was going insane. Maybe he wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe this wasn't the right answer.
But what is? Nothing. Nothing else could end his pain. He knew that.
He stared out his window watching the moon peek out through the clouds. The clouds growing thicker the wind blowing faster, when he watched the first drops of rain fall. The skies were crying.
He shut his eyes briefly all the anger he felt slipping away all of it being replaced by sadness. More tears started to well in his eyes but he refused to let them fall.
He closed his curtains and let his back slide down against the wall till he fell to the floor. He sat on the floor, his face in his hands. Silent sobs raking through his body.
He sat the for minutes maybe hours. Just thinking of his Clary.
Flashing lights in my mind, Going back to the time
Jace took an unsteady breath and pulled out his dagger and placed it on his lap, turning it over and over in between his fingers.
Each turn it took, a different memory played. With his father, with Maryse and Robert, with Alec, with Isabelle, with Clary. Memories that brought a smile to his face but caused him so much pain he'd never be that happy again.
Every time he'd said something that hurt them. Every time he said he didn't care about them. Every time he said he was better off alone. He regretted it. He needed them, he needed his family.
But they'd all be so much better off without him, all he ever did was hurt them. Ever single time they tried to help him he lashed out at them.
He hated himself. He deserved to loose Clary. He deserved to die.
With that last thought he plunged the dagger into his stomach.
He felt nothing.
There's a numb in my toes, Standing close to the edge
His breath caught as he looked down at himself. The dagger still in place his blood slowly pouring out staining the dagger. He knew he could just twist the blade and it'd all be over. Everything.
He heard the pounding of heavy footsteps coming close to his door, the door knob turning and turning not opening because of the Mark.
"Jace open the door! It's me" Clary called nervously through the door.
His heart stopped beating for a second at the sound of her voice. She still had this effect on him even when he was this close to death.
Jace couldn't speak anymore his mouth full of blood suffocating him, all he seemed to be able to get out was a low gurgling noise.
"Jace we need to talk! Please just open the door," Clary pleaded.
As I feel myself fall, Make a joke of it all
Jace couldn't take it anymore. He knew she was just back to break his heart again.
His heart couldn't handle it.
He held the hilt of the blade and pushed it in deeper twisting it, his vision began to cloud and an alarming amount of blood began to seep out of his body. He looked down dazed watching the blood stain his hands a deep red.
Clary pounded on the door harder, stopping abruptly. "Jace- Jace why do I smell blood?" She yelled panicked through the door. "Jace open the fucking door!" She yelled frantically.
The pain was starting to disappear and Jace felt himself get lighter. He laid his head back against the wall closing his eyes. He was tired. He wanted to sleep. He just needed to let go.
Before Clary knew what she was doing she pulled out her stele and drew a Mark on the door and it bursted open. Her eyes searched for Jace and her eyes landed on her beautiful golden boy.
He was sitting on the floor, his eyes closed. His mouth half closed blood slightly dripping out, his hand holding the dagger that was buried into him.
Clary ran to him breaking down in tears shaking him. Her legs giving out underneath her as she fell to her knees infront of him, she shook him trying to make him open his eyes. She needed to see his beautiful eyes.
"Jace-Please Jace don't leave me," she cried.
"I love you so much," she broke down in tears holding him feeling his cold skin under hers. "I'm so sorry, I did this to you."
Jace's eyes flickered open and Clary saw all the pain that was there. She knew it wasn't because of the dagger. It was because of what she'd done to him. Jace tried to choke something out but all he could do was cough.
Clary pulled out her stele and carved rune after rune onto Jace's skin desperately. Becoming more and more frantic when none would work and all they did was fade away. She began to sob holding him closer. "Please don't go Jace, I need you." she whispered her voice cracking.
"To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed," he mumbled. "I was wrong. My father was wrong, I destroyed myself for loving you. You have my heart, Clary. Always." he said taking one last deep shaky breath before the fire flickering behind his golden eyes burned out. Clary pulled and shook him trying to bring him back pleading with him.
She needed him. This was her fault.
Clary held his limp body over her lap, sobs raking through her body.
Her heart was wasn't broken, it was gone completely.
She held her beautiful angel on her lap, and now he was gone. She sobbed looking down at his perfect face. He looked like a child just like when he slept.
She traced his cheekbones with her fingertips, stroking his hair back from his forehead, running her fingers through his hair.
She couldn't let him go.
I'll find the words to say, Before you leave me today
"You're the love of my life Jace, I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I need you more than anything. No one will ever mean as much to me as you do. I need you so much Jace. Who else is going to make sarcastic comments about everything? Who else is going to be as cocky as you?," She smiled through her tears.
"Who else is going to be as caring and sweet as you? Who'd ever be as beautiful as you? Who else is gonna save me when I get myself into another mess? Who's going to hold me and make me feel safe? Who else is going to make me feel those butterflies with just one look? Who else is going to make me smile everyday? Who will ever steal my heart just like you did. No one. No one can replace you. I can't imagine living this life without you Jace. I can't," Clary said letting her forehead rest against his. Her tears falling on his face running down his face.
She held him for hours, never letting him go. Not when Isabelle came. Not when Alec came. Not when Simon came. She never let go.
She held him on her lap telling him a sad story about a beautiful little boy who loved his pet falcon. A story about how love destroys everything.
A/N Well hello you guys (: Sorry if this is terrible? But I'm kind of having writers block with my other story the Bet of Love so I decided to just write this. It's obviously a song fic. Sort of lol But the bold italics are the lyrics.
If you know what song I used high five! :) but if not it's Moments by One Direction. Check it out because it's amazing.
So I decided to maybe do One-Shots here if you guys would like? I'd take prompts from you guys and write a one-shot for you any of you (: It could be any TMI character/s and any plot, so comment if you'd like me to do one for you (:
Well if you like this comment?(: And if you like my writing maybe you should check out my other fanfic? :) lol Well I love you guys for reading a massive thank you to all of you!