"Elloooooo! Underground Airways 'ere!"
"Hello? Ianto?"
"Hmmmmmm? What?"
"Ianto? Is that you?"
"Whoooooo um, what? Who dis, mon?"
Jack straightened in his chair as the distinctive Chav came down the line.
"Where is Ianto!" Jack tried his best authoritative voice.
"The question is, where's you? You is buggin mista if youse recon I'm gonna blag on this one, eh?"
"Put Ianto on the phone NOW!"
Jack's roar brought the rest of the team to attention and Tosh quickly found the position of the phone as they all sprinted for the SUV.
"Oi, you is way out of order bruv, he won't fit on the phone!"
Jack was starting to hyperventilate as they flew through the darkened streets toward the small red dot on Tosh's screen.
"If you've hurt him I'll skin you alive!"
With a screech of brakes they exploded from the vehicle and into the abandoned building.
A small fire was lit in a drum at the far end of the building and as they raced toward it the unmistakable bark of Ianto's laughter was heard.
As they drew up to the group Ianto turned in surprise and stared at them.
They stared back.
His jeans were dirty and torn, his hands clutched at the leather jacket in an attempt to hide the t-shirt but Owen was quicker as he reached out to snatch it open.
The t-shirt was old and faded but the words were still visible in the fabric.
"Fuck the police" in bold letters across the chest.
"Who Dis bruv?"
Ianto turned back to regard the band of chavs.
"Dis 'ere be my America"
Ianto waved a hand behind his back in Jack's direction and the hoodies all stared him up and down.
" Mayyyyteee! Why didn't ya jus' say! mandem!"
"Eyyyy Bredrin! I don't share my well fit American!"
"Howz it hangin?"
Jack's mouth fell open as on of the hoddies turned his attention to Tosh and winked.
"OK, thanks" she smiled nervously.
"You is well fit, birdie"
"Oh! Thankyou, nice to be noticed."
"Nice trainers birdie"
Another hoodie joined the first to openly ogle Tosh.
"Oi! She be like me sista bruv, not for squeezin!" Ianto frowned at his friends.
"Oh, hey mate! I tellz yuh whats iz be just talkin!"
"Yeah! Well, ya nows I'll lyke goes loco if u tink u iz messin wid my sissy!"
"Hook me up man! They iz lyke well fit!"
With laughter in the air the hoodies started to disperse and waved back at Ianto as they left.
"Luf yas Fanny" one called as the door swung shut.
"Fanny?" Owen finally spoke.
"Fuck off Owen" Ianto growled as he turned to glare at Jack.
"Well, he answered your phone." Jack whined.
"I woz slashn, brodah!" Ianto shrugged wandering off as he called back, "Iz me day orf! Mentals!"
I know, terrible chav but I am a kiwi, not a brit even tho I luv yas mentals! Forgive me my brain fart?