Sleepless night
Plagg was floating above Adrien, who was asleep. His room was dark and only the kwamis green eyes were visible. Adrien was invisible in the tangle of blankets but Plagg could hear his breathing. He knew the boy, his boy, was dreaming because of the way he would twitch or shift. In his hand, the boy held the card that someone had sent him in reply to his poem.
The boy was adamant that it was the girl he was in love with, Ladybug. The masked superhero who fought beside him against Hawkmoths servants. Plagg didn't know who it was from but something inside of him was worried. The boys feelings for his female companion were nothing new. Indeed, Plagg had sensed them the moment Adrien had seen Ladybug, even though he had been inside the Miraculous at the time.
These feelings were quite innocent at first, and even now, because they were young. Plagg had fear welling in his stomach as he watched the boy.
He had long since realized that his Cats always fell for the Ladybugs. And what he hated was that it always ended the same way. His Cats always died for their Ladybugs. He had watched it happen since the creation of the ring. No matter how he tried to keep his Cats, boy or girl, away from the Ladybugs, away from their fate, it didn't work. He had to watch through their eyes as they died, feel their pain as the took the blow for Ladybug, feel their sorrow as they died in Ladybugs arms.
He lowered himself onto the pillow beside Adrien and smiled at him. Plagg didn't understand why Adrien was so kind to him. He was lazy, he was difficult, he had to be dragged into his ring to help Adrien. That came from the reluctance to see him die. With every Cat that was chosen, he put on the same act. He hoped that he would be turned away, that they wouldn't want to be a hero, that he wouldn't have to watch them die. That never happened. His Cats were stubborn to the core and more often than not, looking to prove themselves or escape their normal lives. And they always fell in love.
He tried to sway the feelings his Cats felt for their partners before. He would speak badly about Ladybug, insult them, but that never helped. He knew why, even if he didn't want to admit it. Plagg felt the love towards the Ladybug because it was partly his fault. It came from him as well. When he was much younger, at the very beginning of the miraculous, he too fell in love, with a certain Ladybugs kwami. He had chosen a perfect boy and Tikki had a perfect girl. Tikki and he were the perfect team, and so were their chosen humans. And then it happened, just as it always would. His Cat died, taking a blow for Ladybug. He grieved and after a few years, he got a second cat, this time a girl. And it happened again. And again. And after a while of watching his Cats die, he snapped on his beloved Tikki.
"Plagg, the Guardian has chosen a new Cat. A wonderful girl, smart and agile. I've got a new Ladybug. He's perfect, already so compassionate." Tikki smiled as she floated over to him.
"No." He growled.
"What?" She put her paw on his shoulder in concern, her large eyes taking in every bit of him.
"I said no!" He pulled away from her, his eyes hard. "I can't do it anymore Tikki! I can't watch them die anymore!"
"Plagg. It's not your fault." Tikki said softly.
"You're right." He said softly. "It's yours."
"I'm sorry?" She asked in confusion.
"You and your Ladybugs! My Cats die because they care so much for the Ladybugs. They die because they want to protect them!"
"And rightfully so! The Ladybugs are the only ones who can catch an akuma!" He had never heard Tikki speak to him this way and the nature of her words hit him like a slap in the face.
"So that means that their lives mean more than my Cats?" Plagg growled.
"Plagg, that's not what I meant."
"It's what you said." He hissed before he turned away from her. "I'll go with the new Cat." He growled and floated away from her.
He hadn't spoken to her since. He still loved her and the guilt hung over him everyday as he watched the fights against the akumas. He had been right. That girl had died for her Ladybug, as had every Cat afterwards. Plagg sighed and sat down beside Adrien. The boy whimpered and he blinked.
"It's just a dream Adrien." He said reflexively.
The boy quieted and Plagg looked at him fondly. He tried not to grow close to any Cats because he knew their fates but the young boy had grown on him, even if he didn't want to admit it.
"Maybe this one will be different." He whispered as he glanced out the window, imagining his Tikki doing the same. And for the first time in centuries, a small glimmer of hope planted itself in his heart.